I HAVE INFORMATION THAT WILL LEAD TO THE ARREST AND CONVICTION...

[AWP]

NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, LET US DISCUSS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR MONDAY CHRIST!!!!!! WHO SACRIFICES FOR YOU? MONDAY!!!!!! WHO WASHES AWAY THE WEEKEND'S SINS?!!!!!?!!!! MONDAY!!!!!! BAPTIZE YOURSELF IN THE SWEET, SWEET WATER OF A NEW WEEK!!!!!!! COURTESY OF OUR LORD MONDAY!!!!!!111!!!!! MONDAY IS IMMORTAL, EVEN A CLINTON CAN'T KILL MONDAY!!!!!!! MONDAY IS RECESSION-PROOF!!!111!!!!! FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON MONDAY!!!!!!! MONDAY IS LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S VAGINA: THE BIRTH OF SOMETHING NEW, A PLACE EVERYONE GOES, CHEAP, AVAILABLE, AND THERE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE A CHOICE TODAY, YOU CAN DETERMINE YOUR FATE!!!!!! YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HARD LIKE WOODPECKER LIPS OR YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE BONELESS LIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S NECK!!!!!! YOU CAN SERVE THE WEEK A BAG OF DICKS OR GET SERVED!!!!!! AND IF MONDAY CHRIST IS GOING TO DIE FOR YOUR SINS, THEN YOU SHOULD MAKE SUNDAYDAMN CERTAIN THAT YOU GAVE MONDAY SOMETHING TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T, BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH AND WHINING ABOUT MONDAY!!!!!! MONDAY DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!!!! I HOPE YOU BURN IN TUESDAY, SNIFFING JOE BIDEN'S FARTS!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ooh-Rah]

The first paragraph may be the single greatest thing I have, or ever will read.

 

[MikeDelta]

NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, LET US DISCUSS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR MONDAY CHRIST!!!!!! WHO SACRIFICES FOR YOU? MONDAY!!!!!! WHO WASHES AWAY THE WEEKEND'S SINS?!!!!!?!!!! MONDAY!!!!!! BAPTIZE YOURSELF IN THE SWEET, SWEET WATER OF A NEW WEEK!!!!!!! COURTESY OF OUR LORD MONDAY!!!!!!111!!!!! MONDAY IS IMMORTAL, EVEN A CLINTON CAN'T KILL MONDAY!!!!!!! MONDAY IS RECESSION-PROOF!!!111!!!!! FOOTBALL IS PLAYED ON MONDAY!!!!!!! MONDAY IS LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S VAGINA: THE BIRTH OF SOMETHING NEW, A PLACE EVERYONE GOES, CHEAP, AVAILABLE, AND THERE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE A CHOICE TODAY, YOU CAN DETERMINE YOUR FATE!!!!!! YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HARD LIKE WOODPECKER LIPS OR YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE BONELESS LIKE JEFFREY EPSTEIN'S NECK!!!!!! YOU CAN SERVE THE WEEK A BAG OF DICKS OR GET SERVED!!!!!! AND IF MONDAY CHRIST IS GOING TO DIE FOR YOUR SINS, THEN YOU SHOULD MAKE SUNDAYDAMN CERTAIN THAT YOU GAVE MONDAY SOMETHING TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T, BECAUSE YOU'RE A BITCH AND WHINING ABOUT MONDAY!!!!!! MONDAY DOESN'T DESERVE YOU!!!!! I HOPE YOU BURN IN TUESDAY, SNIFFING JOE BIDEN'S FARTS!!!!!!!!!!!

AMEN!!!

 

[Marauder06]

Now THAT is a motivational Monday rant.

 

[Brill]

I’d like to see a motivational rant before and then immediately after your weekly meeting.

 

[RackMaster]

 

[Gunz]

MONDAY IS LIKE YOUR MOTHER'S VAGINA: THE BIRTH OF SOMETHING NEW, A PLACE EVERYONE GOES, CHEAP, AVAILABLE, AND THERE WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!!!!!!!

This alone made my day. And my Mom's, too.

 

[Devildoc]

The black swan thrives in the chaos of the unpredictable. The shark doesn't care that it's Monday. It only cares about being a bad ass shark.

Be the black swan. Be the shark.

 

[Box]

"MONDAY IS IMMORTAL, EVEN A CLINTON CAN'T KILL MONDAY!!!!!!!"

That might just be one of the most spiritually transformative statements EVER posted to a bulletin board like this.

Submitted for review:
MONDAY IS IMMORTAL
Something immortal is never ending - living forever; never dying or decaying
Monday is never ending - its always RIGHT there
Monday is the Alpha and the Omega - it begins the week - it lies at the end of the weekend.
Simply put, Monday "IS"
...even bill clint0n was once forced to ask, "“It depends on what the meaning of the word ‘is’ is."
So powerful is Monday that poor old Bill had to explain himself...
"Is" Monday immortal? If the—if he—if ‘is’ means is and never has been, that is not—that is one thing. If it means there is none, that was a completely true statement. … Now, if someone had asked me on that day, are you having any kind of relation with Monday, that is, asked me a question in the present tense, I would have said no. And it would have been completely true.”
Again, Monday, "IS"

EVEN A CLINTON CAN'T KILL MONDAY
clint0ns have been known to kill hope
clint0ns can kill progress
clint0ns can kill careers
clint0ns can kill progress (written twice because clint0ns forced me to start over)
the mere image of hillary clint0n in wife beater t-shirt and yoga pants could even kill Jeffery Epstein's boner
an oil painting of bill clint0n in a blue dress and red heels may well have killed art itself
Monday has been warned by the clint0ns, monday has been given an explanation. Nevertheless, Monday persisted.
Monday does NOT exist within the clint0ns - clint0ns however MUST exist within the confines of Monday
the clint0ns cannot exist without Monday; Monday need not even acknowledge the existence of clint0ns


Transformative shit there my brother - preach on and I shall follow - I submit to your teachings - Monday is our master

 

[R.Caerbannog]

 

[AWP]

If I can't have a beer with @Box before I die, then life isn't worth living.

I mean...

IF I CAN'T HAVE A BEER WITH @Box BEFORE I DIE, THEN LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING.

 

[Box]

IF I CAN'T HAVE A BEER WITH @Box BEFORE I DIE, THEN LIFE ISN'T WORTH LIVING.

You better get on that shit then because the end is near

The 'Colossal God of Chaos' may not be able to kill Monday, but it might kill the rest of us if a few nerdy star watching geeks are even a teeny bit off on their calculations.
I know they are saying it is nothing to worry about YET, but there still is a 1-in-2.3-million chance that it collides with our planet
...for those of you jokers that want to guffaw at those odds, log onto your Twitter account and remind yourself what everyone said about Trump becoming President.

Even if it goes exactly as planned, it may very well fuck up a few cable TV satellites since it will pass us inside of the orbiting satellite belt.
let me tell you fuckers something - If liberals cannot watch Rachael Madcow and the rest of the gang on MSDNC - we will all be plunged into darkness...
...while Monday lives on.

Monday may be immortal - but it only takes one smack from a giant assteroid to kill Monday Night Football.

Fuck Me
Fuck Me
Fuck Me

I am going RIGHT NOW to the mall so I can buy a string of pearls - if ever there was a time -NOW IS THE TIME TO START CLUTCHING MY PEARLS !!!



No more credit card payments and damn this global warming hysteria - I am about to start living it up bitches.

 

[Ooh-Rah]

Monday may be immortal

Monday....is dead.

Long live Tuesday.


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