Hangover cure?

Pretty hard to beat a pint of water before going to bed. Once you have a hangover, you have a hangover.
 
I don't believe in so-called "science" (what a crock of shit) but I do believe in a large raw onion and as much water as I can handle before bed*.

I find for myself it depends on what I've been drinking.


*Swap onion with paracetamol.
 
A good spicey bloody mary and bacon and eggs the next morning. If you actually have to function--like go to work--submerge your head repeatedly in a sink full of icewater.
 
Sublingual vitamin B drops. Some people are more averse to the taste than others, but it helps with all but the most brutal, 5- and 6-star hangovers. One of my friends once had a hangover that facilitated the wearing of sunglasses just to look inside the refrigerator. Upon being dosed by yours truly, I was promptly informed that "This is what Lazarus must have felt like after Jesus stopped in for a visit." That said, dihydrogen monoxide is still the number one way to stave off that damned cat parking a truck on your head so he can get out and shit in your mouth; the B drops just assist in the recovery.

As an aside, here's a good scale to rate one's hangover with:
  • One Star Hangover:
    No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap, which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.
  • Two Star Hangover:
    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
  • Three Star Hangover:
    Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of diet coke, yet you haven't peed once.
  • Four Star Hangover:
    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Grover Cleveland HS, class of '84.
  • Five Star Hangover:

    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in a vain attempt to wash out the night's sins. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. Death seems pretty good right now. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house.

  • Six Star Hangover:
    You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about 2 seconds you look at the ceiling, wondering if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from 5 hours ago. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you. You try to lift your head. Not an option. Then you inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell the funk of 13 packs of cigarettes in your hair. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights... some jackass handed you Marlboro reds, and you smoked them like it was your second full time job. You look in the mirror only to see remnants of the stamp "Ready to Rock" faintly atop your forehead... the stamp on the back of your hand that has magically appeared on your forehead by alcoholic osmosis. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes and 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and your slippers.
Click to expand...
 
SpitfireV said:
I don't believe in so-called "science" (what a crock of shit) but I do believe in a large raw onion and as much water as I can handle before bed*.

I find for myself it depends on what I've been drinking.


*Swap onion with paracetamol.
Click to expand...

Yeah, "science," who needs it?:rolleyes:

Except the scientist who invented Paracetomol. And people who like evidence.
And New Zealand Customs, which uses the largest team of scientists and epidemiologists in the country.

Anyway, the best way to address a hangover probably involves keeping the total drinks range between zero and two.

I know, stick in the mud. :D
 
Last edited:
DocIllinois said:
Yeah, "science," who needs it?:rolleyes:

Except the scientist who invented Paracetomol. And people who like evidence.
And New Zealand Customs, which uses the largest team of scientists and epidemiologists in the country.

Anyway, the best way to address a hangover probably involves keeping the total drinks range between zero and two.

I know, stick in the mud. :D
Click to expand...

science.jpg
 
DocIllinois said:
Yeah, "science," who needs it?:rolleyes:

Except the scientist who invented Paracetomol. And people who like evidence.
And New Zealand Customs, which uses the largest team of scientists and epidemiologists in the country.

Anyway, the best way to address a hangover probably involves keeping the total drinks range between zero and two.

I know, stick in the mud. :D
Click to expand...

Ah you've got the wrong department! That's MPI. We throw oxen bones out and sacrifice chickens to predict the future.
 
Did someone say something about drinking and hangovers? Marines love to drink! Is there beer or liquor here?:-/



8-)
 
Marine0311 said:
Did someone say something about drinking and hangovers? Marines love to drink! Is there beer or liquor here?:-/
Click to expand...

We may want to leave Marines drinking out of the plan of action:

Embedded media from this media site is no longer available

We did this in Germany, too, but with Turks and skinheads...

...then with the Polizei or MPs... who added acute contusion to the consequent signs and symptoms... :blkeye:
 
DocIllinois said:
We may want to leave Marines drinking out of the plan of action:



We did this in Germany, too, but with Turks and skinheads...

...then with the Polizei or MPs... who added acute contusion to the consequent signs and symptoms... :blkeye:
Click to expand...

Yeah. That's a plan of fail. Um. Drinking and then fighting amongst each other?. Sigh.

Plus you're getting hit in the face and not hitting back?

So dumb
 
Last edited:
Hangover cures: None.
What will help? Really, not very much that is at hand. Hair of the dog can help blunt things some. IV fluids will help with the dehydration, and the headache.
Best advice: You're really not going to abstain or drink in moderation, so my best advice has already blown out the window. Enjoy yourself, and be ready to pay the price later;-).
 
Red Flag 1 said:
Hangover cures: None.
What will help? Really, not very much that is at hand. Hair of the dog can help blunt things some. IV fluids will help with the dehydration, and the headache.
Best advice: You're really not going to abstain or drink in moderation, so my best advice has already blown out the window. Enjoy yourself, and be ready to pay the price later;-).
Click to expand...

Avatar yours correct is. :thumbsup:
 

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