# Depression



## tova (Sep 27, 2007)

o.k. Ya'll know what I've been through recently - I am finding that I am going into spells of depression (not all times but when it hits, it hits hard) - 

I am angry at myself - at my heart for failing me and not being as strong as it should be - for me failing others because this makes me having to place unnecessary burdens on my family who already have their own medical issues - I hate that they are having to take over my responsibilities, especially the ones that I took on because of their conditions.

There are some other issues that I know it's just best to let go and to look at the positive in all this - and I am truly trying to focus on that but when something or someone sets me back a bit, damn, I do not have the resiliency like I used to - get irritable when things would normally roll off my back - stupid little things - 

If anyone has any feedback or ideas of how to cope I'd appreciate it -


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## Boondocksaint375 (Sep 27, 2007)

Staying busy has always helped me. That and a heavy bag lol


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## pardus (Sep 27, 2007)

Thats good advice, you need to have routine, keep busy and exercise.

Find something to engage your mind, new/old hobby/activity that you enjoy and engages you at least mentally hopefully physically as well.

Remember depression is a normal emotion dont feel bad for feeling it, keep telling yourself this is a temporary state of mind and will pass.

The way brain works is that it will re-wire itself depending on what is going on at the time, if you are depressed and wallow in it, the brian will re-wire itself to be depressed normally which is why its important to occupy yourself with other things.

A simple thing like forcing a smile will actually make you feel better whether the smile is genuine or not. There is something in the brain that will react to the smile and will actually make you feel happier.










Or you can do what I do and get drunk 
j/k that doesnt really help :)


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## Ravage (Sep 27, 2007)

I d'know if it was depression or not but when a firend (a girl I had feelings for) told me some pretty nasty things, well I couldn't quite get over it for some time (a couple of weeks). Off course the fact that I still had to attend classes helped a little bit (same what Boon wrote) but the fact it - it was hard, it was nasty and I think it was _some kind of_ depression.
For me it was always the same: suck it up, be a man and belive that there is always sun after the rane.

A heart failure is, I'll bet, a big big thing. But I belive that every man (and women :)) is capable of achieving more than they think they can.
Talk to friends, people who can give You support. I'll bet You will need that right now.
Always look for the sunshine when the rain clouds are comming.

Rememba "Don't doubt the strength...." ;)

You'll do just fine 
	

	
	
		
		

		
			





P.S: haha funny story. I helped a friend get out of depression (then I understood I had feeling for her), and...well You know the rest of this soap opera.


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## ROS (Sep 27, 2007)

Meditate. Seriously. 

Then think of how much bigger a burden a depressed self places on those you care about when they have to worry about lifting you up. Rather harsh, maybe, but true. 

I was in the same boat 6 years ago- blind, going through liver surgery #2, brokedick as hell, depending on everyone for everything because I couldn't even see, you name it. I'd always done yoga, but I'm a rather intense person so I started Bikram- hot yoga. You sweat everything out, your endorphins are drastically raised, you focus on the positive.  

On a side note: it's also very heart-safe. My bp was 260/180 and I was at stroke stage when I arrived at the hospital. I've never had a problem doing my yoga. None.

Also, you're an extremely strong person, stronger than any depression. You don't have to cave to it.


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## pardus (Sep 27, 2007)

There is nothing unmanly *at all* about being depressed.


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## LibraryLady (Sep 27, 2007)

Talk to your docs - let them know - feelings like you're having are not uncommon in people who suffered a major illness.  

pm out

LL


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## pardus (Sep 27, 2007)

My advice is to not jump into drugs immediatly, they have their place for sure, but try some of these other techniques first before you chemically alter your brain, give yourself a chance first. :2c:


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## ROS (Sep 27, 2007)

pardus762 said:


> My advice is to not jump into drugs immediatly, they have their place for sure, but try some of these other techniques first before you chemically alter your brain, give yourself a chance first. :2c:



Agreed 120%. The body's chemicals are so much more powerful than any substance man can create.


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## Gypsy (Sep 27, 2007)

pardus762 said:


> My advice is to not jump into drugs immediatly, they have their place for sure, but try some of these other techniques first before you chemically alter your brain, give yourself a chance first. :2c:



Agree.  And agree on the meditation.  If you've never done so before you should.  Lay down in a private darkened room and visualize yourself in peaceful place and let your mind quiet itself....

Sometimes the body has a way of making the mind wake up.  You've taken on a lot of responsibilites, one person cannot do it all.

Talk to your docs and also see if you can speak with someone who can provide some good guidance to you.


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## gryfen (Sep 27, 2007)

> Remember depression is a normal emotion dont feel bad for feeling it, keep telling yourself this is a temporary state of mind and will pass.


+2

That Albatross is not your friend.  He is a motherfucker and must be dropped.

Easier said than done, I know.  But you deserve to be rid of the little buggar!


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## Kurt V (Sep 27, 2007)

You've experienced a major life change and have faced your mortality. At 25 you could have had the same thing happen and bounced right back. As we get older we start seeing that life is finite. I'm not surprised you are having a bout of depression. Talk to your doctor. The medication you are on may be exacerbating it. Talking about it will help considerably, even if it is just an anonymous bunch of know it alls on a web site. If yoga helps, by all means yoga your ass off.


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## tova (Sep 27, 2007)

Thank you everyone for the advice - I know that even when I was at my worst in ICU, I still found things to laugh at or make the staff laugh so all is not a lost cause - I've heard of how when someone undergoes a major illness that it can be a common occurrence - it's just a bit unnerving how when it does hit, it comes completely out of the blue with little warning signs - and I am usually more in tune with my emotions - but still - 

I will be talking with my doctors about the effects of the medications I am on (all 12 including shots in the stomach twice a day) - plus on a good note, I heard back from the cardio rehab people today so hopefully next week, I can begin "working out" so to speak to get back on my feet


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## pardus (Sep 27, 2007)

Fuck'n A!  ;)


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## gryfen (Sep 27, 2007)

> I will be talking with my doctors about the effects of the medications


Do'oh....that's something I didn't think of right away.  Definately something to be considered!


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## Ex3 (Sep 27, 2007)

You've been given great advice here.  I know you'll get through this tough time, Tova!  :)


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## 0699 (Sep 28, 2007)

I think I'm seconding the advice of several people here...

Talk to a professional about your feelings.  If you try to deal wth them yourself, it'll never get better.  There is NO shame in asking for help.

Good luck sister.  Heal quickly.


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## ROS (Sep 28, 2007)

An addendum to the drug advice, seek out an internalist- not just the cardiologists, etc. I was taking 9 meds at once before I found mine- who's an absolute GOD. I've been down to 3 for the past 4 years and started seeing and feeling a marked difference the first week he started paring them down.


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## LibraryLady (Sep 28, 2007)

tova said:


> - plus on a good note, I heard back from the cardio rehab people today so hopefully next week, I can begin "working out" so to speak to get back on my feet


 
Guess you'll be able to add to the Elite Fitness after 30 thread?  

LL


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## Typhoon (Sep 28, 2007)

You will be in my thoughts and prayers, Tova. I hope that you will work through all of your difficulties...


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## DoctorDoom (Sep 30, 2007)

Talk to a professional.  Brain chemistry is powerful and not to be discounted.  It's not something one can just suck up and drive through.

Stay strong. This too shall pass. :)


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## tova (Sep 30, 2007)

DoctorDoom said:


> Talk to a professional.  Brain chemistry is powerful and not to be discounted.  It's not something one can just suck up and drive through.
> 
> Stay strong. This too shall pass. :)



You're not kidding - am finding myself hyper-sensitive right now and not doing well overall at all - it's not so much physically as I feel stronger bit by bit each day but damn - it's like if I look at myself wrong in the mirror, I freak. :eek::uhh:Gonna be offline awhile till I get straightened out better but that staying strong part? Trying but feel like I'm at the bottom of Everest with no gear etc. yet I know I have to get to the other side. :bleh:


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## DoctorDoom (Sep 30, 2007)

tova said:


> ...but that staying strong part? Trying but feel like I'm at the bottom of Everest with no gear etc. yet I know I have to get to the other side. :bleh:



That's why you can't do it alone.  No one scales Everest by themselves wearing bermuda shorts and flip-flops.  Get a team, get the right gear, and work together.

You can do it, but like any difficult undertaking, it's only possible with external support, and other people watching your six, kicking down the door, making the Powerpoint slides, etc. :)


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## rangerpsych (Sep 30, 2007)

BTDT talk to a pro it's worth it. The meds will help you in the beginning while you figure yourself out...


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## pardus (Sep 30, 2007)

Golden Advice.....


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## Alvitr (Oct 2, 2007)

Hope things will work out in the best way for you Tova. And as already said the advice stated above are great. I went through a hard time some time ago and, did more or less everything just wrong. Made a cpl of bad choises too and it all ended up with an injury that can never be fixed. Though, the very same forced me to get my shit together and keep going on. :)


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