# Injury & Fear



## Unknown Player (Apr 29, 2018)

_Disclaimer: This is my first post aside from an introduction on ShadowSpear. Its a topic that is currently effecting my day-to-day life and I'd imagine, given the sort of membership ShadowSpear has, individuals on this board would have experienced similar and far worse issues and that through their experience perhaps they can post some insight, advice, or words of wisdom for me. Maybe share a similar story. I'm not writing this post for any other reason than what I've mentioned. Thanks._

A week ago I dislocated my right kneecap during my BJJ class doing a simple warm-up exercise (side-shuffling of all things ... after already haven taken an hour class prior) and following that I've been battling what's become somewhat of a fear. I've never had any real physical injury before so the process of recovery, while simple and likely insignificant in respect to what many others on this forum have experienced, is considerable for myself. I lay in the back of the car seat and always have to elevate my leg, wear a brace, and am gimpy due to a limp. Day-to-day its a relatively painful experience (this first week walking around from class to class again, by Friday, was very sucky).

But I've remained mindful and realized that in life these sort of things happen. There is no reason I should fear this "recovery process" and I just gotta take it day by day. I ice it, take some pain meds, move on. The issue I have is *what if it happens again?*

Logically speaking, I know that probably won't happen. Physical therapy will strength the knee and I'll have the guidance of a therapist and doctor to rejoin physical activity. But its not impossible and I'm told its more likely to slide back out of place again because its now done it once before. I had never encountered the sort of physical pain I did when I dislocated my knee, and I very much fear it reoccurring. I fear doing the movement I was doing ever again because I relate it mentally to injury.

So, to combat this fear, I setup a plan of action.

Remain mindful. No doubt the thought of "what am I going to do about this?" will enter my mind. Let it run its course and move on.
Talk to the doc when I see him this week. Hopefully start PT. Keep following current instructions: ice, pain meds, brace.
Re-watch "The Office" for proper dosage of laughs.
So to summarize,

I injured myself in a way that's new to me. Its been a difficult adjustment but I'm very fortunate and have access to a lot of resources.
I'm having trouble dealing with the fear of re-injury.

Otherwise, I'm very lucky in that I had no fractured bones or torn ligaments. I'm odd in the sense that this occurred in a very normal and common movement. I wasn't in a car crash or anything. While I cannot do anything in the way of physical activity I do have a Netflix subscription, so that balances out.

Thanks ShadowSpear.


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## SpitfireV (Apr 29, 2018)

Recover and do what you were doing before if your physical therapist signs it off. If it happens again, stop doing it. Assess if the warmups are safe or not.


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## Unknown Player (Apr 29, 2018)

SpitfireV said:


> If it happens again, stop doing it. Assess if the warmups are safe or not.



Right here is where my fear lies. While I wish it were that simple its not. I'll hopefully never have to stop doing BJJ, from someone who spent most of his childhood in front of a computer screen its been a treasure to become so passionate and joyful of it.

And technically my injury was a result of some freak misstep in a very basic and common exercise. I've done it a 100 times before. It is certainly safe.


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## Grunt (Apr 29, 2018)

Fear holds one back from achieving goals. If you know what you did to cause it to happen...don't do it again. If you don't know what caused it...drive on....

If you allow fear of a *possibility* to hold you back from achieving something, then you need to do some *mental* maturing in that area. Fear is in *your* mind. You control it or it will control you.

Make your decision to defeat it and drive on to achieving your goals....


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## SpitfireV (Apr 29, 2018)

Unknown Player said:


> Right here is where my fear lies. While I wish it were that simple its not. I'll hopefully never have to stop doing BJJ, from someone who spent most of his childhood in front of a computer screen its been a treasure to become so passionate and joyful of it.
> 
> And technically my injury was a result of some freak misstep in a very basic and common exercise. I've done it a 100 times before. It is certainly safe.



I meant safe in the context of your injury.


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## Stretcher Jockey (Apr 29, 2018)

So I follow a professional strongman named Brian Alsruhe and his motto is "Die Empty". At the end of the day, you have to make your own conscious choice (with the help of your doctor and PT) to determine if your goals are worth the potential of a life long injury. Do you wanna look back in 10 years and be full of regret, or die empty of any doubt that you went balls to the wall for whatever you decide? Sorry to be super soap-boxey and cliche, but we cant make the decision for you. Good luck either way, and sounds like youre on the path to recovery.


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## Isiah6:8 (Apr 30, 2018)

You are fine, you dislocated your knee with no real structural damage.  Some crutches and 6 weeks from now you will be solid.  Do as much physical therapy as is required, it makes a difference.  Hopefully, that is on your insurance and not out of pocket. 

There are things you can do to workout and get a sweat in without your leg moving.  Talk to your doc, I was non weight bearing for months after my most recent injury and was able to work my upper body.

At the end of the day you are going to get back on the mat or you are not, but *you* are the reason for doing option A or B, not your leg.


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## Gunz (Apr 30, 2018)

Suck it up. Kill your physical therapy. Replace fear with determination. If it happens again, you man-up and work hard getting it right again.

There are Army Rangers who've jumped out of airplanes with prosthetic legs. There are people who ski and compete in marathons with prosthetic legs...

Perseverance, courage...pain is life and life is sweet.

Get back on the horse and ride.


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## Devildoc (Apr 30, 2018)

Actually, you *are *more prone to dislocate it again.  Rehab, PT, take it slow, build up, and drive on.


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## Border (Apr 30, 2018)

Ocoka said:


> but pain is life and life is sweet.



This x10


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## Kaldak (Apr 30, 2018)

On the possibility note, there are infinite possibilities out there. Mitigate risk when you can; be smart.


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## CQB (May 1, 2018)

It's better to burn out, than to rust out.


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## Unknown Player (May 1, 2018)

Spoiler: (Quotes)






SpitfireV said:


> Recover and do what you were doing before if your physical therapist signs it off. If it happens again, stop doing it. Assess if the warmups are safe or not.





Agoge said:


> Fear holds one back from achieving goals. If you know what you did to cause it to happen...don't do it again. If you don't know what caused it...drive on....
> 
> If you allow fear of a *possibility* to hold you back from achieving something, then you need to do some *mental* maturing in that area. Fear is in *your* mind. You control it or it will control you.
> 
> Make your decision to defeat it and drive on to achieving your goals....





Paramagician said:


> So I follow a professional strongman named Brian Alsruhe and his motto is "Die Empty". At the end of the day, you have to make your own conscious choice (with the help of your doctor and PT) to determine if your goals are worth the potential of a life long injury. Do you wanna look back in 10 years and be full of regret, or die empty of any doubt that you went balls to the wall for whatever you decide? Sorry to be super soap-boxey and cliche, but we cant make the decision for you. Good luck either way, and sounds like youre on the path to recovery.





Isiah6:8 said:


> You are fine, you dislocated your knee with no real structural damage.  Some crutches and 6 weeks from now you will be solid.  Do as much physical therapy as is required, it makes a difference.  Hopefully, that is on your insurance and not out of pocket.
> 
> There are things you can do to workout and get a sweat in without your leg moving.  Talk to your doc, I was non weight bearing for months after my most recent injury and was able to work my upper body.
> 
> At the end of the day you are going to get back on the mat or you are not, but *you* are the reason for doing option A or B, not your leg.





Ocoka said:


> Suck it up. Kill your physical therapy. Replace fear with determination. If it happens again, you man-up and work hard getting it right again.
> 
> There are Army Rangers who've jumped out of airplanes with prosthetic legs. There are people who ski and compete in marathons with prosthetic legs...
> 
> ...





Devildoc said:


> Actually, you *are *more prone to dislocate it again.  Rehab, PT, take it slow, build up, and drive on.





Border said:


> This x10





Kaldak said:


> On the possibility note, there are infinite possibilities out there. Mitigate risk when you can; be smart.





CQB said:


> It's better to burn out, than to rust out.






Thank you for your advice. After coming home from school and giving the replies a read I just nodded my head in agreement and smiled. Couldn't have asked for anything more. I'll perhaps update this thread if I encounter a new issue or develop progress but otherwise I think that's it.

Moving forward, again, thank you!


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