# What is Mental Toughness?



## EqualReaction (Jun 3, 2019)

I just want to put a disclaimer here. I am not SOF nor have I ever even been close to being in SOF. My very limited experience has been training with these guys before going to the Navy, then boot camp, and then most of Pre BUDs. 

What truly is mental toughness? A lot of the times I see it defined as “the extent one can be resilient and confident in physically and emotionally stressful events.” Having seen and trained with some of the guys that went on to be SEALs or SWCCs it made me really wonder. Some were badasses, but some were the complete opposite of what you think would be in these units. A  former SOF guy washed out in that BUD/s class. It made me think that BUD/s is truly the hardest but then come to find out there have been SEALs who quit in Ranger school, or former SEALs who wash out of SFAS. So guys who have went through very rigorous training pass in one but fail/quit in the other. Is the idea that you are either got it or you don’t wrong? Does anyone truly have have that unbeatable mind or is it only people who are committed to certain things and ideas. I’m curious to see what you guys think SOF or non SOF.


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## Devildoc (Jun 3, 2019)

Mental toughness, resiliency, people have PhDs in that stuff.  I think they are essentially the ability to persevere through anything, regardless of what's being thrown at you.  Everyone gets knocked down.  Do you get up?  Over, and over?  Can you do it when you are tired?  Sick?  Broke?  Your wife left you and your dog died?


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## Box (Jun 3, 2019)

Mental Toughness (only my opinion) can go well beyond an innate ability to absorb insane amounts of bullshit. 
If you are in an assessment and selection course - immunity to bullshit will get you a long way. 
Rudyard Kipling did a pretty good job of writing about the practical side of mental toughness in his poem "IF"....

Once you learn the secret handshake and become part of the machine - mental toughness takes on new meaning.

Mental toughness also includes knowing the limits of your bullshit immunity and when to "call bullshit" on the bullshit going on around you.
Mental toughness is what fuels courage. 
Mental toughness is what makes your body break cover to maneuver on the battlefield even though your survival instinct is telling you to stay put.
Mental toughness is having the courage to say "this is bullshit" even when you KNOW it is going to cause you personal adversity

Mental toughness cannot be taught - you either have it - or you don't.


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## Bambi (Jun 3, 2019)

Not Military - Not Wise, speaking from my limited personal experience to what I believe is mental toughness. September 21, 2017 was the day I had my first real kiss. (I was 17, late bloomer okay?) It was also the day I came home and saw all of my family gathered in my living room - all crying. The day my Mother found out she had advanced cancers in her spine and lung. She was in the ICU for  a month before passing October 26, 2017. 
This event has made me who I am today, during that time I had a part time job, in my senior year of highschool, was enlisting in the Marines, was involved in JROTC. I could of easily just quit, went introvert, allow myself to slip into a depressed state. But I didn't. I kept trucking forward. I did everything to 110%. 
That is what I believe is Mental Toughness. The ability to turn a shitty situation into a good one. Recognizing you have tasks to accomplish and to smash them and set new tasks, goals for yourself, no matter if it's a rainy day.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Jun 3, 2019)

When you have broken bones in your ankle,  with 10 more miles to go and a 70 lbs ruck on your back, plus all your battle rattle, and you don't quit because you just ain't gonna be that guy,  you will understand mental toughness.

When you been on mission for the past week,  and have to medevac your buddy,  pick your shit up and go back out on patrol,  you will understand. 

When you are riding around a shit hole where everyone wants to kill you, the road and cars blow up around you, your buddies are being wounded and killed and a dickhead back in the rear is chewing your ass over uniform infractions. And you keep your shit together,  you will understand.

It's something that you build, it's something that you learn through pain.


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## shoe_lacy (Jun 3, 2019)

Personally, my biggest characteristic of mental toughness is resiliency. 

I came in the Army and was ridiculed for having goals for SOF. The things I did in my spare time were not the sort of things that aligned with what my other buddies did; being 18 and having goals for SOF is a “that guy wants to be cool” sort of deal. Through building myself from a barely passing PT score and having several humbling moments and reality checks - I define mental toughness as ones own individual will to succeed despite their shortcomings or hardships. 

Albeit - physical fitness, mental resiliency, and emotional stability are all fundamental building blocks for any successful soldier - I feel that these are especially necessary for any person who works in a field that is held to a level of higher responsibility.


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## Grunt (Jun 3, 2019)

Pushing through...whatever it is at the time...mentally or physically....


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## amlove21 (Jun 3, 2019)

Box said:


> Mental toughness cannot be taught - you either have it - or you don't.


Agree with most- disagree with this part. 

Mental toughness 100% can be taught. And it should continuously be taught and relearned. 

There is no skill you have that isn’t perishable. Mental toughness isnt a trait, inherently given. It’s an ability like anything else. 

Some have more, some have less, but it’s not an all or nothing. It can certainly be taught.


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## Lefty375 (Jun 3, 2019)

amlove21 said:


> Agree with most- disagree with this part.
> 
> Mental toughness 100% can be taught. And it should continuously be taught and relearned.
> 
> ...



In addition, it can be built. I was once a quitter and crafted myself into the person I wanted to be.


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## EqualReaction (Jun 3, 2019)

amlove21 said:


> Agree with most- disagree with this part.
> 
> Mental toughness 100% can be taught. And it should continuously be taught and relearned.
> 
> ...


I think I agree with this. I do not consider myself a tough guy. But it was through life kicking my balls repeatedly that it made me tougher. My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer a couple of weeks I got med dropped from Prep school/ Pre BUDs in 2017. I became a quitter after that. I didn’t quit the program but it was my mentality after I got dropped and when my mom got diagnosed. I quit working out. I quit eating healthy. I quit trying to be the best version of me. I came home to a house to my only real parent who was slowly dying to a horrible illness. I gained 60lbs in 6 months. I failed at getting a job as a campus safety at a small college. I have been working at amazon to pay the bills. I had no confidence and I was scared. Scared of getting hurt, scared of failure. Honestly it wasn’t until my mom passed away in March of this year that I woke the fuck up. That pain woke me up. I started going to the gym, running, and swimming every day. I am hardening my mind and my heart. I’m not tough yet, but I’ll get there.


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## Devildoc (Jun 3, 2019)

Mental toughness and resiliency are not specific to special operations.  it's not a binary choice. You see it with all sorts of people, all sorts of professions, all sorts of issues.  All people with mental toughness and resiliency share common traits.


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## shoe_lacy (Jun 3, 2019)

EqualReaction said:


> I think I agree with this. I do not consider myself a tough guy. But it was through life kicking my balls repeatedly that it made me tougher. My mom got diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer a couple of weeks I got med dropped from Prep school/ Pre BUDs in 2017. I became a quitter after that. I didn’t quit the program but it was my mentality after I got dropped and when my mom got diagnosed. I quit working out. I quit eating healthy. I quit trying to be the best version of me. I came home to a house to my only real parent who was slowly dying to a horrible illness. I gained 60lbs in 6 months. I failed at getting a job as a campus safety at a small college. I have been working at amazon to pay the bills. I had no confidence and I was scared. Scared of getting hurt, scared of failure. Honestly it wasn’t until my mom passed away in March of this year that I woke the fuck up. That pain woke me up. I started going to the gym, running, and swimming every day. I am hardening my mind and my heart. I’m not tough yet, but I’ll get there.



You’re not alone!

It wasn’t until I encountered a situation in which I needed to provide medical aid that I realized I had failed as a Soldier and wasn’t as educated on trauma care as I should’ve been.

It actually made me think about alternative situations too: what if I needed to carry this guy a mile? Or up a hill? What if it was one of my teammates in full kit? Humbling and a true reality check. 

Death, emergencies, and situations of similarity all have drastic effects and ripples to your mind and really make you question your current lifestyle sometimes. Good on you for taking control!


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## EqualReaction (Jun 3, 2019)

shoe_lacy said:


> You’re not alone!
> 
> It wasn’t until I encountered a situation in which I needed to provide medical aid that I realized I had failed as a Soldier and wasn’t as educated on trauma care as I should’ve been.
> 
> ...


Thanks. It definitely does change your outlook on things.


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## SaintKP (Jun 4, 2019)

Not to pile on and while I don't have any MIL experience so take what I'm saying with as much salt as you want. However it's important to pick yourself up when shit hits the fan and it almost becomes easier if you have to do it enough times.

You watch your mom and dad die? Girlfriend cheat on you and kick you out? Live in your car for a few months because the bills caught up with you? Bestfriend gets killed? Feel like you're failing at your job and whether you've made the right choices in life?

It sucks in the moment, nothing changes that, but it matters what your follow on action is and whether you decide to just sit by and atrophy because of it.

There's a phrase that sometimes gets mentioned around here, and while it's a little tongue in cheek it still rings true.

"Watcha gonna do PL"


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## x SF med (Jun 4, 2019)

SaintKP said:


> "Watcha gonna do PL"



The other phrase/acronym that doesn't come up often but hides here is "FIDO"  Fuck It Drive On.


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## AWP (Jun 4, 2019)

Mental toughness isn't just a military thing, it is an adult thing. Hardships and trauma occur in all walks of life: rich, poor, male, female, straight, gay, etc. Life has no limits. Life is binary. You either dig deep and pass or fail.

Sometimes it is as simple as repeating some motivational phrase (Henley's poem Invictus comes to mind), other times it is thinking of your family or  as simple as not letting the bastards beat you. Find your motivation, press on through adversity and fear, learn from your mistakes. These are things everyone can do...or should.


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