# Thought Exercise:  Would You Rather Fight One Horse-Sized Duck Or 100 Duck-Sized Horses?



## Marauder06 (Oct 20, 2018)

At a Leader Professional Development session yesterday, the moderator asked each table of ten individuals to discuss, and come to a consensus on, whether you'd rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses.  No further information was provided.  Given the utility and  amusement that arose from the discussion, I though it might be fun to do it here as well. (as it turns out this is a pretty common team-building thing but this was the first time I had ever seen it)

So, if you choose to participate, here's how it works:  just answer the question.  You have to pick one of the two, you can't choose both or neither (e.g. I'd run away).  Then you explain your reasoning, in however much detail you want to.  Example:

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"I'd fight the horses, because..."
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You can only respond to someone else's post after you've made your own pubic declaration.  If you critique someone else's response before posting your own (you can do it all in the same post if you want) I'll kill that post.  No critiquing unless you're willing to hold your own opinion up for criticism.  As always, keep it civil.

To spice it up, feel free to add a humorous stereotypical military-related response as well, such as:

AC130 pilot:  "Duck.  Fewer squirters."

SF: <trains insurgent horses to lead an uprising against evil repressive duck overlord>

Marine:  "Hold my beer." <gets drunk, strips naked, rides the duck into battle against the horses>

Ranger:  "I'll fight all of them.  I don't give a f#$k. RLTW!!"

SEAL #1:  "You pick; my book contract will be the same amount regardless."
SEAL #2:  "I wouldn't fight either, but I'd write a book about it to make everyone think I did, and then I'd start a company called SOFREP."

I'm going to write an article based on the responses and I'll post it here when it's done.


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## SpitfireV (Oct 20, 2018)

If we take into consideration the fact that I appear to have no weapons, I would take the 100 duck sized horses. You can punch and kick those little bastards, whereas trying to avoid a giant duck with that long neck and a huge bill, no thanks. I don't even have a pot big enough to confit the legs and thighs afterwards.

Edit: Also, those little arseholes should get scared of me after I've smashed a few of their mates. They'll run away and I'll use their mates' bodies on the BBQ. Or maybe in the slow cooker. I haven't decided.


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## Cookie_ (Oct 20, 2018)

Horses have no real method of attacking other than charging and biting. They can fly, so fighting them would be easier than that time I fought a goose. At that size, they should have super fragile legs, making dispatching them easy.

Also, have you ever seen a duck penis? A horse sized duck would have a fire hose which it would likely beat me with.


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## Isiah6:8 (Oct 20, 2018)

I’m going horse sized duck. If it is a fight and I have 100 smart, angry, ankle biting bastards, I don’t know I like that as much as one big duck. 

My thought is the horses were shrunk down making them super strong and the duck being blown up might not be able to support its weight on the legs allowing me to dispatch the duck and eat it easier


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## SpongeBob*24 (Oct 20, 2018)

Can you imagine the meat a horse sized duck can provide?  I picture the Duck I have to fight is the size of a Clydesdale......

Its a no brainer.....its science!


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## Gunz (Oct 20, 2018)

Cookie_101st said:


> Horses have no real method of attacking other than charging and biting. They can fly, so fighting them would be easier than that time I fought a goose. At that size, they should have super fragile legs, making dispatching them easy.
> 
> Also, have you ever seen a duck penis? A horse sized duck would have a fire hose which it would likely beat me with.




You've obviously never been kicked by a horse. Their hoofs are like sledgehammers that strike with the speed of a piston. And their bite is like a steel vice.

100 little horses is a swarm attack. Too many fast, biting, kicking targets to handle all at once.

I will also order the duck.


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## AWP (Oct 20, 2018)

Fuck a duck. Tasty, but that reach, yo...It would beat you like Khabib. The horses...you wouldn't fight 100. You take down enough and the rest will flee in fear.

The art of SEALing the book deal.

Navy/ Marine Hornet driver: still waiting on an operational jet

F-35: Can't bomb either, too busy participating in a photo op telling everyone how great it would be against the duck/ horses. Awaits full IOC in 2035.

UAV crew: Flies mission, takes photos, goes home after 12 hours, files PTSD claim with the VA. Bronze stars for everyone!

Navy Surface Warfare: collides with duck, relieved, retires with full pension.

Shadowspear member: talks shit on the internet, posts meme, tells the horses to use the search feature on how to beat the duck.


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## SaintKP (Oct 20, 2018)

Alright based on the responses saying they would rather fight a 100 duck sized horses, I'm assuming you've never been on a farm or encountered a horse in your life aside from the merry go round when Uncle Chuck took you out for snow cones that one time.

A horse is literally made of muscle, all of it, in its entirety. You know those stories of baby chimps tearing the face off of Susan because she thought they were adorable then said chimp proceeded to do the obvious and get its Ed Gein on. Now imagine a 100, not 99, not 92, not 105. A God damned 100 of these balls of muscle and rage coming at you.

Have you ever been bitten by a horse? It doesn't tickle, it fucking hurts, and imagine your ankles and shins getting bit the fuck up? Yeah it's starting to not sound so hot does it? Oh wait, the horses hooves is considered a lethal weapon in all 50 states including the District of Columbia, and all major territories and minor islands. Seriously your ankles and shins will be broken and turned into a paste from the amount of hits you'd take.

Not to mention the fact that a duck itself isn't exactly small, it's not like a hamster, it's not something you could just drop kick and be done with it.


It's not even a contest, I'd take a duck sized horse any day of the week.


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## Cookie_ (Oct 20, 2018)

Ocoka said:


> You've obviously never been kicked by a horse. Their hoofs are like sledgehammers that strike with the speed of a piston. And their bite is like a steel vice.
> 
> 100 little horses is a swarm attack. Too many fast, biting, kicking targets to handle all at once.
> 
> I will also order the duck.



I've been both kicked and bit by horses.  I'm thinking that a decrease in size will lead to a decrease in power.  If I can get to a location in which they can't all attack me at once, I feel I have a better chance.


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## ThunderHorse (Oct 20, 2018)

The horses...once you kill two you can use them as weapons.


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## GOTWA (Oct 21, 2018)

The horses because, while they are in a herd at that point, they tend to spook easily and will likely not want to fight at all


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## digrar (Oct 21, 2018)

I know I can kill a duck sized horse, and I'm pretty confident I can bowl a few of them over in a pretty short duration. I have serious reservations about being able to take down a horse sized duck with my bare hands and a bit of enthusiasm.


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## Gunz (Oct 21, 2018)

Cookie_101st said:


> I've been both kicked and bit by horses.  I'm thinking that a decrease in size will lead to a decrease in power.  If I can get to a location in which they can't all attack me at once, I feel I have a better chance.



I assumed you'd never been kicked because you didn't mention the kick part. I got kicked in the chest by a yearling colt and thought I was gonna die. My wife took me to the ER and we waited and waited. After a couple of hours she asked me if I'd rather stay and wait or go get a steak. So we went and got a steak and a couple of Bloody Mary's.



GOTWA said:


> The horses because, while they are in a heard at that point, they tend to spook easily and will likely not want to fight at all



Good point and true. If you screamed like a banshee and waved your arms like a homicidal maniac they might stampede. Provided they had not been weaponized through bioengineering. If that were the case, the duck might be a better choice.


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## RackMaster (Oct 21, 2018)

This is easy, you take down both. 

 First, a herd of 100 duck size horses.  There'd be 1 big bastard stallion fucking all those mares.  So you find the stallion and fuck that little bastard like you're about to win the barrack pig hunting championship on a Friday night.  You're then in charge. 

So, you take your new haram of horses and surround that duck.  Then pluck a fucking duck.  Make a new duck down feather bed for your horse haram.  A roast that bitch up on a fire.


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## Isiah6:8 (Oct 21, 2018)

Cookie_101st said:


> I'm thinking that a decrease in size will lead to a decrease in power



Depending on how it was decreased. It is the interview q:  “If you were shrunk to the size of a nickel and put in a blender, how would you get out?” The answer is just jump out. As you are shrunk your power to mass index amplifies making you some sort literal terminator.


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## ThunderHorse (Oct 21, 2018)

RackMaster said:


> This is easy, you take down both.
> 
> First, a herd of 100 duck size horses.  There'd be 1 big bastard stallion fucking all those mares.  So you find the stallion and fuck that little bastard like you're about to win the barrack pig hunting championship on a Friday night.  You're then in charge.
> 
> So, you take your new haram of horses and surround that duck.  Then pluck a fucking duck.  Make a new duck down feather bed for your horse haram.  A roast that bitch up on a fire.


I didn't know you Canadians were into beastiality...or are your people from Cymru?


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## Ooh-Rah (Oct 21, 2018)

This thread maybe stranger than the “dot” thread.


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## Marauder06 (Oct 21, 2018)

Given only the information provided in the prompt, I'd fight the duck.  I'd rather deal with one large, predictable, slow-moving and slow-thinking (I hope!) problem than 100 constantly-changing,  unpredictable, little problems.   Especially if those little problems were all focused on destroying me.


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## GOTWA (Oct 21, 2018)

Marauder06 said:


> Given only the information provided in the prompt, I'd fight the duck.  I'd rather deal with one large, predictable, slow-moving and slow-thinking (I hope!) problem than 100 constantly-changing,  unpredictable, little problems.   Especially if those little problems were all focused on destroying me.



But you only have to worry about a handful at a time or else they get in the way of each other, rendering their attack useless.


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## Topkick (Oct 21, 2018)

100 little horses... because the thought of a giant duck is as scary as hell. I have been attacked by a pissed off regular-sized duck, it's not funny.


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## Marauder06 (Oct 21, 2018)

GOTWA said:


> But you only have to worry about a handful at a time or else they get in the way of each other, rendering their attack useless.




It's a lot like fighting the Taliban; they make little nips and are easily swattable, but since there's a near-unending-supply of them (thanks Pakistan) then they'll wear your down over time.


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## Ranger Psych (Oct 21, 2018)

Duck sized horse. No questions. You'll be able to outrun them, you'll be able to just exterminate them via stomping, golfing, doing the helicopter if you're from 3rd bat, etc.

Horse sized duck is the Avian equivalent of a Piper Cub that wants to kill you. Ducks already scoot along at a good speed, now you just increased their leg length, bill size, wingspan and as brought up, dick length. You gon get fuuuked.

This is all on the basis of "Fight" incorporating what you have at hand right now as a normal human being. Now if weapons are involved? It depends. Do I want to just finish the job or do I want massacre a hamlet?


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## GOTWA (Oct 21, 2018)

Marauder06 said:


> It's a lot like fighting the Taliban; they make little nips and are easily swattable, but since there's a near-unending-supply of them (thanks Pakistan) then they'll wear your down over time.


The horses aren't breeding the next generation of fighters. Done is done.


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## policemedic (Oct 21, 2018)

I’ll take the duck, every time.  Sure, it’s bigger but it’s only one enemy that can execute one strategy with one set of anatomical weapons.  They have smaller brains than horses, so the big feathery bastard should be stupider than the horses.  Since ducks can fly, their mass will be less which is helpful to me as well.

Horses are smart and they are herd animals.  They can work in concert, and are very muscular animals.  True, these horses are smaller but no one can watch a hundred attackers at once.  Gulliver’s Travels, anyone?  Who is to say they can’t organize into a consolidated force and act in concert to execute tactics?  Hell, they’ve got the equivalent of two reinforced platoons.  

Besides, at the end of the day I’d rather eat duck than horse.


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## Gunz (Oct 21, 2018)

Why do ducks have flat feet?
To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big feet?
To stamp out flaming ducks.

It's Ying and Yang. Look it up.


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## Gunz (Oct 21, 2018)

Ooh-Rah said:


> This thread maybe stranger than the “dot” thread.




This is a valuable exercise in tactical judgement given the threat posed to our society by midget horses and gigantic ducks.


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## SpitfireV (Oct 21, 2018)

Marauder06 said:


> Given only the information provided in the prompt, I'd fight the duck.  I'd rather deal with one large, predictable, slow-moving and slow-thinking (I hope!) problem than 100 constantly-changing,  unpredictable, little problems.   Especially if those little problems were all focused on destroying me.



The assumption is always that they are focused on attacking us but this is not in their nature nor is it mentioned in the brief, so I ask...who is the bad guy here? I propose it is us, man, for inciting these animals into fighting.


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## SaintKP (Oct 21, 2018)

SpitfireV said:


> The assumption is always that they are focused on attacking us but this is not in their nature nor is it mentioned in the brief, so I ask...who is the bad guy here? I propose it is us, man, for inciting these animals into fighting.




Is it not the Law of Nature that the strong survive? Who is to say that we shouldn't disrupt that process and forfeit our rightful place as the most dominant species? 

Death to all miniature horses and abnormally large ducks.


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## SpitfireV (Oct 21, 2018)

Are we not already top of the food chain!


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## Topkick (Oct 21, 2018)

SpitfireV said:


> Are we not already top of the food chain!



As long as you stay out of the water.


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## ThunderHorse (Oct 21, 2018)

You get bit by the duck you are fucked...bit by the little horses and it might sting.


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## digrar (Oct 21, 2018)

This, but weighing best part of a tonne and being 8 foot high. Anyone wanting to fight a horse sized duck is off their meds.


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## Marauder06 (Oct 21, 2018)

__ https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=475778296275801


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## Kraut783 (Oct 21, 2018)

I voted a horse sized duck....then thought...

The horse is basically a land based animal....

The duck can attack on the land, be amphibious and airborne...like a SEAL, but no book deal.


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## policemedic (Oct 21, 2018)

digrar said:


> This, but weighing best part of a tonne and being 8 foot high. Anyone wanting to fight a horse sized duck is off their meds.



Just because the duck is tall doesn’t mean he’ll weigh what a horse would. Hollow bones and all.

Besides, that Russian deserved it 🤣


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## SpongeBob*24 (Oct 21, 2018)

Prison rules apply... no one's gonna remember the guy who took out 100 small horses....but the guy who took out the big duck....he'll be talked about for generations.


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## DA SWO (Oct 21, 2018)

I'd teach the duck to crap on command, and then turn it loose on those I hate.


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## runninrunninrunnin (Oct 22, 2018)

Anyone else think about trapping the duck sized horses. Then breed them and overtake the small pet market. 

But then again... Horse sized duck is basically a dragon.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Oct 22, 2018)

A lariat, roll of 100mph tape, bic lighter and that stupid sized duck is fucking dinner.


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## Gunz (Oct 22, 2018)

I would call Dana White and see if he could promote a fight between Conor MacGregor and the gigantic duck and the tiny horse herd in Las Vegas. There would be lots of smack talk and excitement and bookmaking. Then the fight would happen and the horses and the duck would beat the living crap out of Conor in the first round.

The End


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## Kakashi66223 (Oct 22, 2018)

Horse sized duck. But if I could take it and tame it, would make a great way to get around. I'd imagine riding a duck like a dragon. Just needs flamethrowers. And bayonets.

But...If it has to die-
As Army: Bare handed or with a hammer, I'll make it work.

When I was a Marine: Greased up KA-Bar, can't be beat.


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## racing_kitty (Oct 23, 2018)

It really doesn’t matter which one when the proper amount of HE is applied. However, there’s less likelihood of kickouts if I’m only having to blow up the duck. The last thing I need getting between me and my beer is a fucking pissed off microhorse that’s just had his bell rung.


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## Box (Oct 23, 2018)

I'd throw a bunch of old motor oil on that duck - set that fucker on fire - BAM
...then I'd go looking for a horse sized chicken and a horse sized turkey so I could have the biggest most giantist horse sized TurDucken Thanksgiving feast EVER

Horse sized Turducken bitches - bring it




...not to say that buffalo style horse legs dont sound tasty - you COULD have a pretty good tailgate party with 400 buffalo style horse legs - but that just seems like a lot of work just for some buffalo style horse legs


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## Gunpowder (Oct 23, 2018)

Gonna fight the ponies...had a pet duck as a kid that terrorized the neighborhood kids...mean damn thing.  The ponies...hell they were tamed..you know..the ones they walked up the alley for a nickel to ride...fear the duck...besides...horse meat ain't all that bad...


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## Andoni (Oct 27, 2018)

I would take the horse-size duck and start by putting a sword through through one of it's eyes. Since ducks can close one eye and makes half their brain go to sleep, stabbing it in the eye seems like it would take at least 50% of their brain out of the equation.

Then I'd go for it's lungs, preferably by way of the throat because I don't want it to fly.
After that I don't know what I'd do.

One big duck is one big target. 100 little targets are 100 targets.


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## Blizzard (Nov 21, 2018)

Close decision but I choose horse sized duck.   I don't have all day to duck around with 100 duck sized horses.  

Ducks aren't mean like geese and.they taste better.  I could eat a big.old duck.  I don't know what I'd do with 100 little horse except make some glue.  

My only concern is that ducks fly, which means catching it could be a pain. Also need to watch out for the break.  Now assuming a standard 12 gauge will kill the horse sized duck every bit as much as it will a regular sized one, the point may be moot.

Fire up the grill!


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## Topkick (Nov 21, 2018)

Andoni said:


> don't want it to fly.


Then you would have to worry about an attack with large shit bombs.


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## Gordus (Nov 21, 2018)

I chose horse sized duck.

My reasons:
Why would an oversized duck or a 100 dwarfed horses exist and be out to kill / eat you in the first place ? 
It can only mean someone is using witchcraft / blood magic to get rid of you, and assuming worst, those animals are most likely very well capable of doing the above. 
Imagine a 100 little angry horses gnawing at your ankles. Their existence is unnatural. Meaning they are probably not weaker than if they were original size, ergo they are demonic and possibly even more aggressive and bitey, also you wouldn't be able to outrun them. Maybe climb on top of a roof / tree and just pick them one by one if you can find a weapon. I assume they can't fly .... That's still a 100 unnatural problems you prob wouldn't survive to begin with simply because they'd overrun you.

The duck be just one problem. Yes it could probably snap your head off with a single lunge/bite, but it's big, thicc and would struggle to get through a door frame. While stuck there you could just take a sharp / solid object and keep bashing its head in or working on it's neck till it's decapitated. 

Does that make any sense ? ^^


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## Kakashi66223 (Nov 22, 2018)

Why not a hundred horse size ducks? Anyone?

I think I could do it.


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## runninrunninrunnin (Nov 22, 2018)




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## Poccington (Nov 22, 2018)

Gimme the duck yo'

100 little bastard horses would be a nightmare.


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## Jaknight (Nov 22, 2018)

100 duck sized horses would be easier to deal with


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