# Myth Vs Reality



## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

Myth: Knockout punches "wow" the crowd, turn-on the hottest girl at the bar, and you look cool as fuck if your larger aggressor was at fault entirely.

Reality: My hand hurts really bad. The hottest girl at the bar did not give me her number. Wiping my ass left handed and creative workouts are my future.

I won the battle but this guy won the war.

Solution: Solar plexus shots are key - despite whatever ferocity and rage is in your system.
(I made every attempt to de-escalate)


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## Ooh-Rah (May 22, 2017)

Come on, man!

So many other techniques you could have used....time to go back and rewatch the great bar-fight documentary, Road House.


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## Grunt (May 22, 2017)

Brother, no one should be hitting with closed fists anymore! There are way too many other options for that.

Hope the hand gets better!


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## Diamondback 2/2 (May 22, 2017)

This is sad that I'm fixing to type this out.

From a dude who has spent over a decade of getting drunk, getting in fights and dealing with bullshit because of it... Stay the fuck out of the bars. It cool every now and again, but brother, you can find women in other places, and it will probably workout better for you. Hell most chicks I've seen over the past few years hardly look up from their phones, and normally only long enough to snap a new selfie.

Dance hall's but drink water, if you don't know how to dance take lessons (most dance halls do them cheap and or for free, and guess what you will be meeting and dancing with, chicks out looking for a dude).

If you are religious, church groups and outings. You would be surprised.

Join a pool or dart league, drink water.

Friends of friends, barbecue with the buddies and have whoever has a chick bring her friends.

That all said, and off my don't be like me soapbox. I don't know if you listen to country, but a similar situation happened where I was left explaining a broken hand to my NCOIC back in 2006. He went to lunch and came back with a CD handed it to me and said listen to this.






Like the badass I thought I was I listened, laughed and went to the bar that night. Never really gave it much thought. Took a few years for it to start to sink in, but it is now, 11 years later, a shitload of fights, cuts bruises and thousands of dollars in wasted money. :wall:

Anyway, hope your hand feels better!


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## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

Yeah well I'm no krav maga muey thai chineese noodle boxing expert.

I fight fire with more fire, or area target weapon systems...

H/A


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## Ooh-Rah (May 22, 2017)

Bar stories always remind me of something I witnessed about 20 years ago.  Deer hunting with my dad there was a 'bar' smack dab in the middle of the woods; dad and I would go there after hunting for beer and burgers.  On this particular evening there were 3 HUGE lumberjack looking dudes sitting at the bar.  They were facing outboard, watching the bar, minding their own business, just sipping beer.

This very drunk little guy (the top of his head probably was chest high on these dudes) comes up to one of them and says, "Hey!  You're a pretty big guy.  I bet I can kick your ass!".  

Lumberjack dude is so cool he does not even put his beer down, he simply reaches down with his free hand, wraps it over the top of little-guy's head and says, "Go sit down little man."  And then without letting go of his skull, lumberjack rotates littleman 180 degrees and in a surprisingly gentle motion, pushes littleman back towards his table.  (where he goes and stays).

That's the story.  No fight, but it could have ended very differently if Lumberjack had been in a worse mood.  My dad and I decided that Lumberjack must have gotten a nice deer that morning and didn't want to spoil his weekend by fighting.  One of the coolest "bar fights" I've ever seen.


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## DocIllinois (May 22, 2017)

One of my best friends used to be a bar scene hot head.  About ten years ago, he and a buddy tangled with two, equally hot head men over a pool cue jab in one of the other men's backs.

A solid first blow to the back of my friend's head knocked him out cold, after which one of the dudes kept pummeling his head with multiple, heavy punches.  It was a rural bar with no bouncers, and the bystander effect meant the head shots continued for about 30 seconds before a bar tender stepped in.

My friend now has a small plate in his head and brain damage, with labored speech and frequent loss of short term memory, among other lasting neuro signs and symptoms.


I'm glad to hear that you've clued in to the terrible risk/benefit ratio of this sort of activity.


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## Grunt (May 22, 2017)

I have gotten to the point today whereas I despise bars because of the "drunks" that go there. Some people simply can't drink and enjoy themselves without acting like apes.


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## Ooh-Rah (May 22, 2017)

Agoge said:


> without acting like apes.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (May 22, 2017)

DocIllinois said:


> One of my best friends used to be a bar scene hot head.  About ten years ago, he and a buddy tangled with two, equally hot head men over a pool cue jab in one of the other men's backs.
> 
> A solid first blow to the back of my friend's head knocked him out cold, after which one of the dudes kept pummeling his head with multiple, heavy punches.  It was a rural bar with no bouncers, and the bystander effect meant the head shots continued for about 30 seconds before a bar tender stepped in.
> 
> ...



Not really a friend but a guy and would run into from time to time had something similar happen, except they monkey stomped his head in the parking lot.  He is full on derp now, sadly his buddies still drag him out to the bar every once in awhile.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (May 22, 2017)

Agoge said:


> I have gotten to the point today whereas I despise bars because of the "drunks" that go there. Some people simply can't drink and enjoy themselves without acting like apes.



Yeah the newer kids are beyond stupid. No fucking manners and almost go out of their way to be rude. Fucking up pool games, spilling over drinks, and the fucking tantrums these grown ass adults throw...I mean it's like a 6 year old in a grown persons body.


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## Grunt (May 22, 2017)

Ooh-Rah said:


> View attachment 18805



You caught that!  I thought about the pun after I typed it.


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## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

Very cute (on the apes)

This bar is my only bar in the area that I will attend; exactly right @Diamondback 2/2 on these young fucking shitheads that want to get their rocks off without understanding the consequences.

Spoiler Alert: Do Not Fuck With People.


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## CDG (May 22, 2017)

The Hate Ape said:


> Very cute (on the apes)
> 
> This bar is my only bar in the area that I will attend; exactly right @Diamondback 2/2 on these young fucking shitheads that want to get their rocks off without understanding the consequences.
> 
> Spoiler Alert: Do Not Fuck With People.



Well are you gonna tell us the fucking story, or what?


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## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

CDG said:


> Well are you gonna tell us the fucking story, or what?




Me:          *Pleasantly drinking & discussing nonsensical topics with a cute blonde among my cute wing-women
Guy:        "Hey, what cartel are you with?"
Me:          "WTF?... none?"
Guy:        "I'm with the Sinaloa Cartel.... *says something in Spanish that sounds angry"
Me:          "Sounds great... I'm gonna not talk to you now."
Guy:         *more angry Spanish

---- 2 or 3 minutes elapses ----

Friend of Guy:          "Hey sorry about my friend, he gets like this when he's drunk"
Me:                              "Cool, enjoy your night guys"
Guy:                            "Yeah.... yeah, I get this way (angrily)"
Guy:                            *More Spanish
Cute Girl:                   "What the fuck is this guy's problem?"
Friend of Guy:           "He's always doing this, just don't fight him man, he fights a lot"
Me:                               "No problem..."
Guy:                              (I don't even know wtf he's saying but now he's pointing at me)
Me:                               (to friend) "Get him TF away from us... we're not leaving just because he's being a douchebag"
Friend of Guy:             (starts to say something)
---------- GUY JUMPS OVER FRIEND PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE TWICE ---------------------------

---------- Realizing I'm being attacked, I'm now pissed beyond control and punch him square in the jaw while pushing
through his friend, and two other random guys ----------------------------------------------------------------

Bar makes "oooooh sound"

Bouncer wakes up Guy then grabs him by the throat to take him out of the club
Bouncer: "No cartels are allowed here" (I cracked up laughing)

Really fucking hot girl: "That was the hardest hit I've ever heard"

-- Me and Really hot girl spoke for a while, I didn't get her number... and the cute blonde I was talking to went off never to be found again after seeing me and really hot girl talk for a good while. My hand hurts like a bitch, the X-Ray was just completed though:

No fractures
No breaks
Just disruption in the cartilleage lining or whatnot and some swelling, estimate mostly good by the end of the week and full recovery by 4 or 5 weeks.

Fuck this guy, I hope someone keys his car or some shit today.

-Ape


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## Ooh-Rah (May 22, 2017)

The Hate Ape said:


> Guy: "I'm with the Sinaloa Cartel.... *says something in Spanish that sounds angry"



 I thought those cartel guys had some type of code of silence? Kind of like the Navy SEA...

Next thing you know they'll have a dedicated Stolen Vato website.


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## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

No I'm sure the Sinaloa Cartel maintains a very influential presence in Eastern North Carolina, in a Marine Town, as Active Duty Marines themselves....

I'm glad I didn't kill him, but I'm also glad I got to be the short meatball that chopped down the cherry tree.  Hopefully he learns.


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## Grunt (May 22, 2017)

From the remarks that his friend made to you about that being the way he acts when he is drunk, it sounds as though he isn't a quick learner and may not learn until the end results are far more severe than being knocked out. Unfortunately, many of those types never learn.


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## The Hate Ape (May 22, 2017)

"You gon learn today..."


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## Teufel (May 22, 2017)

I was a collegiate boxer. Everyone wants to punch guys in the face bare knuckles until they do it for real. Bar fights are stupid. Every idiot is surrounded by buddies who are waiting to pop you in the back of the head.


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## TLDR20 (May 24, 2017)

Teufel said:


> I was a collegiate boxer. Everyone wants to punch guys in the face bare knuckles until they do it for real. Bar fights are stupid. Every idiot is surrounded by buddies who are waiting to pop you in the back of the head.



This. We don't go to bars often, at least not the type filled with people who are out to fight. 

I play in a city softball league though, last week. A lot of young dudes fresh out of college, we(other guys) had a pretty good tussle after a dude pushed another dude on 1st base... I just stood in the back. I talked to some of the guys afterwards, I said:

"Dudes is this softball game worth going to jail over?"

Them: No

Me: are you willing to get your face broken by an overzealous idiot with a softball bat?

Them again: No

Me: then why the fuck are you fighting?

Crickets...

People don't think of the reality that a fight can entail... be a grown up. If you have to fight, for your safety, maximum violence...


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## amlove21 (May 28, 2017)

Teufel said:


> I was a collegiate boxer. Everyone wants to punch guys in the face bare knuckles until they do it for real. Bar fights are stupid. Every idiot is surrounded by buddies who are waiting to pop you in the back of the head.


YUUUPPPPP.

I have thankfully not been in a fight that wasn't part of actual training in a while, and I don't actually care if I ever get in one again. I bounced for 4 or 5 years and got into fights with bouncers and others for longer than that. No thanks.


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## CQB (May 28, 2017)

I did a little myself, it's better to have a chat & resolve it then to butt heads. The good thing was that the guys that drank there all the time had my back, which was reassuring as I'd shown them some respect to being with.


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## MIkeH92467 (Sep 3, 2022)

Short version: I'm 66 years old. If  I fight, I lose. Longer version: I've trained in some sort of martial art since I was a teen-ager. The fact is that even when I was younger, I was still an unathletic geek. If I fought I would lose. That leaves not fighting as the only real option. Either I de-escalate and GTFO or I figure some way to win the "fight" without really fighting. I'm still training in To Shin Do ninjutsu, which doesn't require any real athletic ability and depends on body weight, gravity and balance breaking to end a conflict...quickly. All that said, I still can't change the short version. My skills would give me a chance, but...short version...as Mr. Miyada said: "Fighting bad. Somebody always get hurt".


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## Topkick (Sep 3, 2022)

I'm too tired to fight and try to avoid the BS as much as possible. Bars are drama.The wife and I still like to stop in to a local watering hole (my buddy owns it) and kick a couple back, but we go in early and get out early.


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## AWP (Sep 3, 2022)

Best way to win a fight is to avoid the fight.


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## Gunz (Sep 3, 2022)

Drunk guys usually come at you with a big right hook. And they’re slow. Step inside, come up hard with a palm thrust under the chin and it’s lights out. I never looked for a bar fight…but I lived on Madeira Beach (Mad Beach) and was on a tear  in my late 30s and early 40’s, hitting low dives. Shit happened.


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## MIkeH92467 (Sep 3, 2022)

Gunz said:


> Drunk guys usually come at you with a big right hook. And they’re slow. Step inside, come up hard with a palm thrust under the chin and it’s lights out. I never looked for a bar fight…but I lived on Madeira Beach (Mad Beach) and was on a tear  in my late 30s and early 40’s, hitting low dives. Shit happened.


I hope that if anyone comes at me, that's how they do it.


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