# Mental Fitness, Resilience, and Spiritual Health



## Marauder06 (Feb 23, 2020)

Post your related topics here.


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## Bambi (Feb 23, 2020)

Battling yourself is one of the hardest things someone can do. It does not make you weak to have these problems. You are strong for seeking help. You are taking an arduous step in an attempt to better yourself. Often, men especially are taught do not cry, do not feel emotions that others perceive as weak. It is okay to cry, it is okay to feel emotions. Call a buddy, tell them you are struggling. If you feel like you have no one, pm me and everything stays between me and you. I would rather listen to your problems than see your name in memoriam, even though we are mostly strangers, I know what it is like to have no one, and I know how beneficial it is to have atleast one person.


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## LibraryLady (Feb 23, 2020)

Threads like this are what make this boards reputation.

LL


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## Marauder06 (Feb 23, 2020)




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## Marauder06 (Feb 23, 2020)




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## LibraryLady (Feb 25, 2020)

Montana has some of the highest rates of suicide for pretty much any demographic. The state really puts an effort out to communicate and encourage people here to seek help, reach out to others who might be needing a hand, and make mental health a more talkable topic.

In addition, a national website is being advertised on TV, radio and I've also seen posters in various places. It focuses on the gender, but also has areas for military specific concerns.

See the new Man Therapy

LL

ETA cuz tense is important.


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## Grunt (Feb 25, 2020)

One of the hardest battles that one has to face is the one raging between their ears. Depression and its many forms cause you to believe that you are the only one suffering from whatever issue you may be dealing with at the time. It causes you to keep things to yourself because you "just know" that no one else can relate to your issues because no one else knows what it's like. 

Don't be afraid to talk to someone. There is nothing new under the sun and I can promise you that there are thousands out there that have dealt with "your" issue. There is a reason that we call each other "Brothers and Sisters" even though we come from different parents.


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## SaintKP (Feb 25, 2020)

A hard lesson that was passed onto me was that it takes more to be a man and ask for help, than to keep trudging on and bottling it all in or thinking everything's fine. I've been there feeling like you're in the middle of the ocean, no land in sight and you're just sinking ever deeper until you get to a point where you don't want to stop sinking.

All it requires is to take a good hard look at yourself, realize that there isn't anything wrong with talking to someone even if it's just to vent your frustration out, and asking for someone to listen.

I get that I joke around a lot on the board, but if anyone just needs someone to talk to I'm on almost all the time.


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## Brill (Feb 25, 2020)

Gunz said:


> ...telling bosses to fuck off...


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## Cookie_ (Feb 25, 2020)

Full disclosure; I'm shamelessly sharing this recent tedtalk because Johnny is actually an acquaintance of mine.

I think the most important thing with mental health and resiliency is something he mentions in his talk; there is no "Eureka!" moment for getting better. It takes small, successive, and intentional actions towards improvement to see change. Maybe it's calling a friend, talking to a therapist, getting meds, or (as Johnny did) leaving happy platitudes around your house.

It's always possible to improve your situation; the hard part is understanding it takes dedication and a willingness to ask for help.


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## Viper1 (Feb 26, 2020)

We do PMCS on our vehicles, and we exercise so our bodies are less prone to breaking. Do PMCS on your mind. It only helps.


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## Brill (Feb 26, 2020)

Viper1 said:


> ...we exercise so our bodies are less prone to breaking...It only helps.



1st BNs live fire exercises and integration of enablers was EXTREMELY helpful when things got loud: we all just reacted like we’d done before (often without thinking). I thought our rotation was normal (B Co was getting hammered) until our F mentioned that after 9 trips to AF, this was by far the most kinetic they’d seen.

Near the end, prob Feb or Mar, I was barely sleeping at all even after being exhausted and one late night I was sitting on a bench outside our “barracks” when WW stepped out, commenting he could sleep either “cuz, well, you know”. “Yep.”

Those guys made me realize I was normal. Even months later when we had a reunion in Fayetteville, my wife was able to meet the Team (finally put faces to the names) and as we drove away she commented “those guys really love you”.


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## Dvr55119 (Feb 26, 2020)

I think it is crazy the aversion many in “man jobs” including SOF have to therapy. What is the worst than can happen when talking to a completely objective outside observer? Wife sucks, bitch to someone who isn’t on a side... issues with dreams, sleeping, drinking? Talk to someone who only wants to help you. You are the client. Talk to a therapist. I know personally there are former SOF guys working as therapists, work with those guys. Whether that is talk therapy, animal therapy, MDMA guided therapy, or surf therapy, get out there and conquer your demons. I’m pretty sure we have a member here now, who founded BEneath THE SURFace, reach out to him. 

Everyone was taught your mind is your greatest weapon, clean it, train it, condition it. Make it resilient, strong, and calm. Sometimes the best way to do that is to just talk to someone who has TTP’s to make you resilient, strong and calm. Take care of your number one weapon system.


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## Marauder06 (Apr 1, 2020)

I thought this was an interesting perspective.  I'm not sure I agree with the thesis that there is some kind of underlying mental condition that makes people join the military... certain personality traits, perhaps, but not an "illness" per se.

*link to article*

---



> This was the line of thinking going through my head as I stared at the ceiling, trying to remember what sleep was like last night. What is it, really, that sets the soldier apart from the civilian?
> 
> Is it training? Indoctrination? Attitude? I’m thinking it’s a bit of all of the above, but with just a pinch of undiagnosed mental illness.
> 
> Drop the pitchforks for a second and just hear me out, dammit.


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## Devildoc (Apr 1, 2020)

Marauder06 said:


> I thought this was an interesting perspective.  I'm not sure I agree with the thesis that there is some kind of underlying mental condition that makes people join the military... certain personality traits, perhaps, but not an "illness" per se.
> 
> *link to article*
> 
> ...



I agree.  If the military is representative of the nation as a whole, how does that argument stand?  Not well.


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## Marauder06 (May 6, 2020)

"Here I am, 33 years old, and about to embark on my journey to basic training while in the midst of a full-blown career and raising an 8-year-old little girl by myself. Yes, I have received plenty of confused, negative, and questionable feedback from people in my life regarding my decision to do this “now.” All I can say is this:

My brother chose to leave this world, and I am choosing to finish his story for him. I am choosing to honor the person he was down to his core and live a life I hope he will be damn proud of when I see him on the other side someday. I am choosing to carry his torch, for my family, for my daughter, for myself, and for him.  Enlisting in the Army is not going to fill that void. Here is what I have realized: It was never about the void. The take-away here? Acknowledge the void. Acknowledge the hell out of it, get comfortable with it, learn to sit in the dark face to face with it and become content. The void isn’t going anywhere. It’s the legacy that matters, it’s all that ever mattered." 

*LINK*


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## NovemberWhiskey (May 9, 2020)

Peace to your brother @Marauder06, and to you as well. Been that spot and loss of family hurts like nothing.

Hope you are taking care of you.

/
To topic, VA therapy may suck balls, but vet centers may have useful non-VA linked contacts.

Outside of that, therapists working with first responders are usually good resource even for vets, leave out a lot of hassle that some formally working with vets fellas were trained with, add compassion grounded in real world skills.

Peer support is also excellent, just careful reaching out to at the time one is barely holding up, too depressed and just mad at / fed up with everything, in states one word wrong pushes a guy over the ledge? Yeah, better take it to the pros who hear the unsaid despair right, than talk to buddies who may not exactly know.

Unless they're the kind of trained deep in psych buddies, as it's the nature of the job or they just went that education path on their own... by all means, if shit's hitting the fan, chat those up.

And yeah. Nothing that went wrong in life, done or done to or not done or wished for and couldn't do, is worth one's life. Nothing.

Depression lies, tragic lives turn about at some point, just don't fade to black when it's dark.

... and I swear I done with the long noodle on things I'm passionate as fuck about and will distribute brownies around from now on, instead. ;) And other yummies, for those y'all diabetic.


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## Andoni (May 9, 2020)

NovemberWhiskey said:


> Useful non-VA linked contacts



Non-VA Counseling: 

Giveanhour.com is a free non-military program that coordinates free therapy with private therapists all over the United States. 

There is also an organization called HeadStrong that is followed by some reputable organizations in the veteran communities on IG and who's mission is to get Warriors into therapy, for free, with a individual plan. 

No direct experience with the services.


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## Marauder06 (May 9, 2020)

NovemberWhiskey said:


> Peace to your brother @Marauder06, and to you as well. Been that spot and loss of family hurts like nothing.
> 
> Hope you are taking care of you.




Thank you for the sentiment.   But I want to make it clear that what I posted is a quote from the article.  I don't know the person pictured, or even the author of this article.  I posted the excerpt and link here because I thought someone here might find it useful.


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## NovemberWhiskey (May 9, 2020)

See, I don't have even the corona to blame for my inability to read. *facepalm* My mistake.

All the better then, that it was a news quote instead of hitting close reality is just good news. And thanks for the message on legacies, as living for dears lost and honoring by how one lives is imo an important one.


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## LimaPanther (May 10, 2020)

Years ago, while on the DMZ in Korea, I suddenly got hit with a nervous breakdown. I was sent to the BN Command Sgt Major and his first words were: "You are taking leave to go home to unwind". My response was that I couldn't afford it. The best words that he responded with, and I still remember it was: "If your car or refrigerator breaks down you make away to get it fixed. Well your body is breaking down and you can not afford to not get it fixed." 30 days later I was fine. Your body and mind are an integrate machine and needs rest. That is one of the reasons the military says to take 30 days vacation a year. Reach out to others. I am here, as well as others, to help.


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## Marauder06 (Jan 19, 2021)

1st Special Forces Command shared one of our articles on Twitter. It's always gratifying when something we do helps the SOF community. I think a lot of people here might relate:
The Masks We Wear: An SF Soldier Speaks Out • The Havok Journal




> It was only after I had left the team having completed my team sergeant time, that I began to see the number of changes I had endured over 15 years and 8 combat deployments. I started to realize that my family saw me in one way, depicting an emotion with a particular mask. This mask has the characteristics that, I act cordial, I eat, sleep, and attempt to be a good dad and husband, and I help where I can.


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## BigGian (Jun 7, 2022)

The number of times while enlisted sitting next my squad mates having a good time. I would be smiling and joking about everything, going along with the banter. When behind the smile, the only true thought in my head was how badly I wanted it all to end. The nightmares, self doubt, depression, anxiety of letting other down and not being up to the task. I don't know how I made it another decade after this, it baffles me that I just kept going. Now that I am older, more experienced and actually happy. I can only remember thinking, "tomorrow will change, and if not, the next day might be the day." I hung on to this until, and didn't even realize the day I let go of it. 

for everyone who is struggling with mental health issues, struggle a little harder, and go get the help. Find someone who is willing to listen, call an old buddy, call you friend, call a family member. Fuck, go to the police station and talk to a police officer. Ask for a Crisis Intervention Officer (CIT) officer, if they have one. I am a Police Officer, I am here for you everyday of the week, twenty-four hours of the day. I'd rather watch you cry and blow snot all over my shirt, then stare at your dead body for 4 to 8 hours. 

Suicide scenes are not fun, its unpleasant, it hurts, it is so fucking hard to tell a family their loved one took their own life. Especially when they show up with the entire troupe in tow. I don't get a choice in my response to calls, but if I can prevent a call from ever happening. I will do my fucking best to do so. I love you, this community loves you, and we want you to be here with us, Not in memory, but in reality.


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