# Marine Corps bans audible farting in Afghanistan



## Dame (Aug 26, 2011)

This has got to be a joke of some sort. Publicity only? They aren't really going to discipline someone for this are they?



> Washington
> 
> - The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.
> 
> ...




Read more: http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/310782#ixzz1W6pS09sL


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Aug 26, 2011)

LOL I bet some Infantry Officer ripped one in front of a bunch of fags that got offended...


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## Teufel (Aug 26, 2011)

First I've heard of it.  It must be one battalion doing it.  We're cleared hot to rip one where ever we please.  Also, if the Afghans hanged or burned every homosexual the surviving population would be under 11 or female.


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## mike_cos (Aug 26, 2011)

What about burps?...


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## Marauder06 (Aug 26, 2011)

I'd have to see something in writing that supported this before I believe it.  I think it's more likely that someone got told "Hey, quit busting ass in front of the locals, you're embarrassing me" by his squad leader and it's gotten blown completely out of proportion.


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## AWP (Aug 26, 2011)

I'm on a high fiber diet...tell me I can't fart and see what happens.

Marines: We might not be able to fart, but at least we aren't wearing those ---damn reflective belts.


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## JBS (Aug 26, 2011)

Not the only culture that gets radically offended at this kind of behavior.  I have a story,  but best told over beers, not permanently recorded on the internet.



Marauder06 said:


> I'd have to see something in writing that supported this before I believe it. I think it's more likely that someone got told "Hey, quit busting ass in front of the locals, you're embarrassing me" by his squad leader and it's gotten blown completely out of proportion.



"Blown out of proportion", lol, nice one sir.

OK, I've reached my weekly quota for fart humor.


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## Headshot (Aug 26, 2011)




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## Dame (Aug 26, 2011)

OK, just talked to the original reporter of the story, Gina Cavallaro. She says this was higher than platoon level but lower than general Marine Corps. Apparently the outlets that are picking it up are making it look official by attaching words like Pentagon, and Marine Corps, when it is only a particular unit (which she will not disclose other than, "it was not 2nd Recon.").

Story is, the Afghan soldiers on post duty with Marines, at some particular location, are offended (I want to puke just writing that) by our men making such noises. The original blog entry is here, http://militarytimes.com/blogs/batt...nes-in-afghanistan-be-careful-where-you-fart/ .  She is getting A LOT of calls on this.  Not sure if there will be an update or not but I think her final sentence is what makes it look like a general mandate.



> So, for all Marines getting ready to go downwind, I mean downrange, be forewarned — you may have to hold it in… at least until you get back to your hooch where you can loudly crop dust your friends.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 26, 2011)

JBS said:


> ...
> 
> "Blown out of proportion", lol, nice one sir.....


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## Giorge (Aug 26, 2011)

So... the ladies can't hear a little fart, but can decapitate some people?! wtf...



Marauder06 said:


> "Hey, quit busting ass in front of the locals, you're embarrassing me" by his squad leader and it's gotten blown completely out of proportion.


x2 (Nice one)


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## Headshot (Aug 26, 2011)

You fuck a goat, but you get caught cutting one fart.....


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## Dame (Aug 26, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> "Hey, quit busting ass in front of the locals, you're embarrassing me" by his squad leader and it's gotten blown completely out of proportion.



LOL, I quoted that line to her just to see what she's say. She insists it was more than that as far as directives go. She said the article itself was intended as nothing but a bit of humor, and seemed surprised it's getting so much publicity. But again, IMHO, I think if she didn't want to provoke a response then this was most likely not even worth a blog post. I'm kind of glad she did post it. Fuck these assholes and their pseudo "cultural sensibilities."


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## Boon (Aug 26, 2011)

"What did you get an article 15 for?" "Farting."


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## Marauder06 (Aug 26, 2011)

Dame said:


> LOL, I quoted that line to her just to see what she's say. She insists it was more than that as far as directives go. She said the article itself was intended as nothing but a bit of humor, and seemed surprised it's getting so much publicity. But again, IMHO, I think if she didn't want to provoke a response then this was most likely not even worth a blog post. I'm kind of glad she did post it. Fuck these assholes and their pseudo "cultural sensibilities."



OK, take out "squad leader" and put "company commander" or something in there.  Her holding back on the original source is making me suspicious.


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## Dame (Aug 26, 2011)

Boon said:


> "What did you get an article 15 for?" "Farting."


Hahahaha! That happened to my oldest once. He ripped one so loud and long in the Jr. High lunch room that he got detention.  I couldn't even be mad. It was too funny.

 


Marauder06 said:


> OK, take out "squad leader" and put "company commander" or something in there. Her holding back on the original source is making me suspicious.


Yep. She was very defensive about it.


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## x SF med (Aug 26, 2011)

Yeah, good luck enforcing that when the guys/gals are eating MRE's and/or goat....

Oh... Charlie may not surf, but you will never convince me that haji don't fart...


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## AWP (Aug 26, 2011)

I want to make sure I understand this: An element of the Marine Corps larger than a platoon (think about that for a second, we're talking company or higher) may or may not have issued an order for Marines not to fart in the presence of Afghans because it offends the Afghans. The *REPORTER* (don't forget our general disdain for the media) when confronted was more or less evasive and tried to downplay the significance of her own story.

This passes for news and we're supposed to have our blood up over this.....Affliction-based, dubious, ass-smelling nonsense?


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## x SF med (Aug 26, 2011)

Guess what, I just farted thinking about the Afghans...  so sorry.... NOT....

I agree with Free...  although I think his BP actually went up over this....  Bro eat you Colon Blow, you can fart, you live with the AF...


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## AWP (Aug 26, 2011)

x SF med said:


> I agree with Free... although I think his BP actually went up over this.... Bro eat you Colon Blow, you can fart, you live with the AF...



I crop dusted this hot, Bosnian, Fluor chick the other day at the DFAC. She didn't flinch; we may have a future together.


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## x SF med (Aug 26, 2011)

Freefalling said:


> I crop dusted this hot, Bosnian, Fluor chick the other day at the DFAC. She didn't flinch; we may have a future together.



If I tell Mrs Free, you will have no future at all, except as Purina Worm Chow...  start the blackmail bidding now...


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## AWP (Aug 26, 2011)

x SF med said:


> If I tell Mrs Free, you will have no future at all, except as Purina Worm Chow... start the blackmail bidding now...



I'll tell her myself, her embarrassment over me ended years ago.

Mostly.


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## x SF med (Aug 26, 2011)

she's a good woman....  crazy for putting up with you...  but the patience of a Saint and the forgiveness of Buddha.


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## Dame (Aug 26, 2011)

Freefalling said:


> I'll tell her myself, her embarrassment over me ended years ago.
> 
> Mostly.



LOL. Mostly.


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## ÉIREGOBRÁCH1922 (Aug 27, 2011)

One movie...Blazing Saddles! The camp fire sceen!


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## Marauder06 (Aug 27, 2011)

Well, the author has some attention now.  The story has changed to being a directive from the "White House."    Notwithstanding the fact that the "Marines" pictured are not U.S.


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## Totentanz (Aug 27, 2011)

Audible, whatever.... I can clear the TOC without making a sound, especially if I'm assisted by MREs.


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## x SF med (Aug 27, 2011)

Totentanz said:


> Audible, whatever.... I can clear the TOC without making a sound, especially if I'm assisted by MREs.


 
I want to see you work up the Boyle's law equations (show your work) for the effective force of a fart assisted by an MRE....  you have 2 hours, scratch paper is provided...:-|


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## Chopstick (Aug 27, 2011)

So much for truth in journalism.


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## Totentanz (Aug 27, 2011)

x SF med said:


> I want to see you work up the Boyle's law equations (show your work) for the effective force of a fart assisted by an MRE.... you have 2 hours, scratch paper is provided...:-|



Alright, I'll play...  (sorry the formatting got kinda fucked... copy/paste from a text doc I worked this up in_

It would be more effective to attack it from the Ideal Gas Law from which Boyle is derived (ideal states that PV= nRT... hence for situation 1, P1V1 = nR1T1.... keep n1 and T1 the same as n2 and T2, which is an assumption under Boyle... ergo n1RT1 = n2RT2 ergo P1V1 = P2V2...)

P = systemic pressure
V = container volume
n = number of atoms of gas expressed in moles
R is a constant used to balance the equation
T is temperature expressed in Kelvin scale

You asked for effective force... fluid dynamics and the laminar/turbulent flow associate with the force aren't my forte, but I would imagine that they would be linearly proportional with the system pressure (eg double the pressure, double the force)

if we assume that, we need to start by rearranging the equation for P (or at least I would). PV = nRT implies that P = nRTV^-1
Systemic biology remains constant... (the normal colonic expansion/contraction would varies based on the controlling muscles, which go unaffected by MRE consumption)... thus regard V as a constant.

We're left with two random variables on the right side... n and T. I would estimate that T would increase by 5-15K dependent on MRE consumed (ie... pork rib would be lower, closer to 5... chili mac with crushed red pepper would push a 25k increase - a nice solid couch-burner)
While one could argue that other foods (a good Indian curry) can give a good burn on exit... a solid temp increase due to MRE is (although not scientifically measured and verified, I'm basing this on WAG... if anyone has hard data, please speak up)

Normal body temp is 37 deg C, also known as 310k. Hence T[MRE]/T[norm] is 1.05, or a 5% increase.

Next is moles of gas... this is much harder to verify and will vary based on physiology. Personally, I would estimate a triplicate increase in gas production. But given the wide sigma on this variable, we'll conservatively estimate a 50% increase. Thus we move forward with the assumption that n{MRE] = 1.5*n{norm].

Thus the final expression of the ideal gas laws is as follows...

P[norm] = n[norm]*R*T[norm]*V^-1

P{MRE} = n{MRE]*R*T{MRE}^-1... substitution gives us P[MRE} = 1.05*n[norm]*R*1.5*T{norm]*V^-1 = 1.57*n{norm]*R*T[norm]*V^-1

Force through a fluid is defined as the gradient function of pressure divided by volume... given that I do not have hard data proving what P[norm] (ie unassisted fart pressure) is... I cannot put a hard number on this variable outside of modeling equations.

[Note that both of these effects may be achieved by foods other than MRE, but are usually not co-located.... if your diet is high inIndian food AND beans... your mileage may vary)]


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## Dame (Aug 27, 2011)

Mmmmmm, math.  I feel a 5.5 on the Richter scale coming on.


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## Headshot (Aug 27, 2011)

I'm just wondering if sharts are acceptable as long as they are SBD.


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## medicchick (Aug 28, 2011)

x SF med said:


> Yeah, good luck enforcing that when the guys/gals are eating MRE's and/or goat...



What were you and RP eating that last day then? I though you blamed the Ranger cookie. Those were some right nasty ones when we were there...

He just told me "I told you, we had _*BEANS*_" followed by "you need to get that recipe".:-|NO!!!


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## Manolito (Aug 28, 2011)

Totentanz could we apply Daltons law to that equation. If the internal system of a human can only hold about 7 lbs. pressure could we then get the total time required for the gasses to reach a second containment such as the room or in the case of last night the confines of a vehicle?
Great opportunity to teach partial pressures in a open water dive class:cool:


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## x SF med (Aug 28, 2011)

My job here is done...  I have effectively derailed a fart thread to a physics thread...  would that be reverse hijacking?:-"

Totentanz...  stellar job aiding this derailment, you should have been an NCO, you are wasted as an officer...

Bill, with the 7psi threshhold, that means humans will never be used for high pressure welding...


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## Headshot (Aug 28, 2011)

Manolito said:


> Totentanz could we apply Daltons law to that equation. If the internal system of a human can only hold about 7 lbs. pressure could we then get the total time required for the gasses to reach a second containment such as the room or in the case of last night the confines of a vehicle?
> *Great opportunity to teach partial pressures in a open water dive class*:cool:



Waterborne farts i.e. in the tub, are water filtered of particulates thereby changing the density ratio and allowing for quicker disbursement in the proposed containment area.  The proof of particulate filtering is in the odor of the filtered methane versus that of not particulate filtered i.e the dutch oven effect.


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## SpitfireV (Aug 29, 2011)

We had a huge farting culture at one point. I remember one of my mates would do radio checks as:

"Comms, radio check please. *fart*

"5x5."

Or walking into comms, farting and walking out and holding the door shut. Ahhh good times.


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## Manolito (Aug 29, 2011)

Spit that game can only be played by young people as you get older you learn to not trust a fart. A lot like San Miguel and Lumpia in the PI.


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## AWP (Aug 29, 2011)

I've had more than one fart lie to me.


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## HoosierAnnie (Aug 29, 2011)

Has this thread not died yet?  Even after da Troll injected some Physics or was that a physic????


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## Manolito (Aug 29, 2011)

And this suprises you about men?


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## medicchick (Aug 30, 2011)

P


HoosierAnnie said:


> Has this thread not died yet? Even after da Troll injected some Physics or was that a physic????



Pff, who pays attention to him anyway?:-"


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## SpitfireV (Aug 31, 2011)

Manolito said:


> Spit that game can only be played by young people as you get older you learn to not trust a fart. A lot like San Miguel and Lumpia in the PI.



This guy was 41. That's old, right?


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## Manolito (Aug 31, 2011)

May a thousand and one camel ants fester in your ass hole.
That is all


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