# What "non-standard" Items Do You Bring With You When You Deploy?



## Marauder06 (Nov 27, 2010)

This thread is for fun- DO NOT admit to any crimes or to doing anything that will discredit your respective service.

I found this pic on another site and it brought a smile to my face:


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## Teufel (Nov 27, 2010)

Double locked!  Good accountability of sensitive items.


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## Marauder06 (Nov 27, 2010)

Must be a long deployment coming up...

Dude's standing there to make sure it gets in the connex too, lol


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## 0699 (Nov 28, 2010)

This is going to reveal my pogueness and it's really stupid, but I used to have a red sweatshirt I'd take to the field with me and wear when I was sleeping or sitting around.  It had a very _Mr Rogers_ appeal; when I put on my red sweatshirt I was off-duty.


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## fox1371 (Nov 28, 2010)

I used to wear my Bears hat on Sundays even thought I couldn't watch the games.  I still supported my team haha.


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## buffalo61 (Nov 28, 2010)

fox1371 said:


> I used to wear my Bears hat on Sundays even thought I couldn't watch the games. I still supported my team haha.



I have a 49ers beanie that has made every deployment with me.  Even through the rough times, gotta support my team.


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## buffalo61 (Nov 28, 2010)

fox1371 said:


> I used to wear my Bears hat on Sundays even thought I couldn't watch the games. I still supported my team haha.



I have a 49ers beanie that has made every deployment with me.  Even through the rough times, gotta support my team.


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## AWP (Nov 28, 2010)

I carry Rufus, Ron's naked molerat from the Kimpossible cartoon, and now a Jr. troll from The Troll.

I've also started carrying a Three Wolf Shirt, but shouldn't everyone?


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## Viper1 (Nov 28, 2010)

My Dad's P-38 can opener has made it through the Mekong Delta and the sands of Iraq twice.

Next deployment I'm taking my Colorado Rockies jersey


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## racing_kitty (Nov 28, 2010)

I picked up a pretty nice mink blanket towards the end of my first hitch in OIF 1, and have brought it with me for every trip since.  Not only does it keep me warm, but it adds a splash of color to the cot/tent/hooch.

Someone I know of in the EOD community brought a "pump" with him on a Bosnia rotation (he was in Bosnia when 9-11 happened).  Said EOD tech was not about to surrender it at the amnesty point, or the trash can, or anything else for that matter.  Nor did he try to hide it.  It was sitting right on top of his clothes when the customs inspector came through.

Inspector ---> "Whose belongings are these?"
EOD tech ---> "Those are mine."
Inspector ---> "What the hell is that sitting on top of your PT's?"
EOD tech ---> "What does it look like?"
Inspector ---> "That's not a.... oh, God, it is....."
EOD tech ---> "Yup, that's EXACTLY what it is." 

The inspection had just begun when this little interchange happened, and only lasted another 5 minutes afterwards.


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## Marauder06 (Nov 28, 2010)

I always liked to take a football and throw it around a little after it cooled off in the evening.


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## surgicalcric (Nov 28, 2010)

Marauder06 said:


> I always liked to take a football and throw it around a little after it cooled off in the evening.



Yep...

Football and my catchers mitt. A little "catch" in the evening does wonders to make one miss home less.

Crip


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## Ranger Psych (Nov 28, 2010)

racing_kitty said:


> I picked up a pretty nice mink blanket towards the end of my first hitch in OIF 1, and have brought it with me for every trip since.  Not only does it keep me warm, but it adds a splash of color to the cot/tent/hooch.
> 
> Someone I know of in the EOD community brought a "pump" with him on a Bosnia rotation (he was in Bosnia when 9-11 happened).  Said EOD tech was not about to surrender it at the amnesty point, or the trash can, or anything else for that matter.  Nor did he try to hide it.  It was sitting right on top of his clothes when the customs inspector came through.
> 
> ...



That's about on the same lines as having porn playing on the computer and/or multiple magazines fanned out on the bed when the 1SG/CO are doing room inspections.    Attention is diverted, and they could honestly give a shit about your room after that.

Diversions ftw.


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## Manolito (Nov 28, 2010)

Viper1 said:


> My Dad's P-38 can opener has made it through the Mekong Delta and the sands of Iraq twice.
> 
> Next deployment I'm taking my Colorado Rockies jersey



Viper this made me smile I still have mine. Stay safe
Bill


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## Manolito (Nov 29, 2010)

On a inspection of spaces the XO and master chief found one of my guys with a Picture out of Playboy. The shtf and end result no one will post pictures other than family members in these spaces. I came through the next day and at the bottom of the same picture was an inscription LOVE MOM. I put four ounces of coffee through my nose and hung a calendar over the picture.
In country I had a short timers calendar a drawing only a sailor could love. I was down to 7 days and it came up missing. I hunted and threatened but never found the picture. I came home and then you carried your file in an envelope sealed. I got married and checked into compac petschool took my new wife to get her ID card and when the young female yoeman opened the orders right on top was my short timers calendar.  The person responsible was a Yoeman Duran in Can Tho Vietnam in 1968. I still google search for him once in a while. Best prank ever played on me.
Bill


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## Etype (Nov 29, 2010)

Some friends of mine in my last unit brought a thing called a 'Fleshlight.' Google it.


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## Marauder06 (Nov 29, 2010)

Scared to...


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## AWP (Nov 29, 2010)

Etype said:


> Some friends of mine in my last unit brought a thing called a 'Fleshlight.' Google it.



Oh, hell no....I know where this is going and that will not be in my cached files this evening.


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## x SF med (Nov 29, 2010)

Nothing Free brings would be considered "Standard"...  I mean, c'mon, it's Free we're talking about here.


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## Dame (Nov 30, 2010)

Etype said:


> Some friends of mine in my last unit brought a thing called a 'Fleshlight.' Google it.


Friend of mine has one.  He says the fuckers are hard to clean.


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## Teufel (Dec 1, 2010)

I was doing an inventory of a UA (unauthorized absence) Marine's gear and one of my Marines found a fleshlight that the UA kid had stolen from him.  I assumed that he would naturally write it off but he told me with a straight face, "Sir I'll just throw it in the dishwasher and it will be fine."


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## Dame (Dec 1, 2010)

Ah, well, good to know.


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## Mac_NZ (Dec 1, 2010)

Teufel said:


> I was doing an inventory of a UA (unauthorized absence) Marine's gear and one of my Marines found a fleshlight that the UA kid had stolen from him.  I assumed that he would naturally write it off but he told me with a straight face, "Sir I'll just throw it in the dishwasher and it will be fine."



We did the same in a similar circumstance, found an 8" rubber cock...
Everyone was at a bit of a loss about what to do with it.  We ended up including it on the inventory form as "Dildo, rubber 8", cost unknown".


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Dec 1, 2010)

I really don't take much of anything other than a labtop, iPod and camera. 1st deployment I had a PRCA rodeo ball cap and last one I took my Mr Hanky ball cap, but thats about it.


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## TheSiatonist (Dec 1, 2010)

Marauder06 said:


> This thread is for fun- DO NOT admit to any crimes or to doing anything that will discredit your respective service.
> 
> I found this pic on another site and it brought a smile to my face:



LOL!  That chick by the truck is kinda hot.




Mac_NZ said:


> We did the same in a similar circumstance, found an 8" rubber cock...
> Everyone was at a bit of a loss about what to do with it.  We ended  up including it on the inventory form as "Dildo, rubber 8", cost  unknown".



hahahahahahahahahaahahahaha!!!!


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## Etype (Dec 1, 2010)

Dame said:


> Friend of mine has one. He says the fuckers are hard to clean.



I guess the artifical ones don't have a natural, monthly cleansing process.


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## Dame (Dec 1, 2010)

OMG, they are gonna revoke my girl card cuz I'm LMAO!


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## pardus (Dec 1, 2010)

Marauder06 said:


> Scared to...



Go on, you'll love it...


















Literally.


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## Etype (Dec 3, 2010)

Dame said:


> OMG, they are gonna revoke my girl card cuz I'm LMAO!


The Fleshlight's external dimensions may still be beneficial for a woman...


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## Motosapian12 (Dec 6, 2010)

I heard a funny from a Corpsman about fleshlights. He was on ship and a Marine told him that he had gotten the herps, later a few more marines kept coming in and telling him that they had the same. So he checked with every female on the ship and found out that none of them had it. He got to the bottom of it and found out that they had been sharing a fleshlight and none of the nasty assholes cleaned it. Talk about sloppy seconds...


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Dec 6, 2010)

Motosapian12 said:


> I heard a funny from a Corpsman about fleshlights. He was on ship and a Marine told him that he had gotten the herps, later a few more marines kept coming in and telling him that they had the same. So he checked with every female on the ship and found out that none of them had it. He got to the bottom of it and found out that they had been sharing a fleshlight and none of the nasty assholes cleaned it. Talk about sloppy seconds...



I could have gone the rest of my life without reading this.


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## x SF med (Dec 6, 2010)

JAB said:


> I could have gone the rest of my life without reading this.



Agree...  eye bleach, mental floss and a lobotomy are on order for later this evening....


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## SpitfireV (Dec 6, 2010)

LOL!


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## Manolito (Dec 6, 2010)

Frank do you have a brother in Spain?


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## Etype (Dec 6, 2010)

I wonder, would using a fleshlight violate noise discipline?


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## shortbrownguy (Dec 7, 2010)

Etype said:


> I wonder, would using a fleshlight violate noise discipline?


Only if you moan like a porn star


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## Chopstick (Dec 7, 2010)

shortbrownguy said:


> Only if you moan like a porn star



You say that like you have some knowledge of this......


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## LibraryLady (Dec 7, 2010)

K.  They say confession is good for the soul.

When I deployed I had a complete works of Shakespeare that traveled with me.

LL


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## Teufel (Dec 7, 2010)

Motosapian12 said:


> I heard a funny from a Corpsman about fleshlights. He was on ship and a Marine told him that he had gotten the herps, later a few more marines kept coming in and telling him that they had the same. So he checked with every female on the ship and found out that none of them had it. He got to the bottom of it and found out that they had been sharing a fleshlight and none of the nasty assholes cleaned it. Talk about sloppy seconds...



We had something like that happen on my last deployment.  The grunts had 35 cases of gonorrhea in the Afghan battalion they were training so I had my chief do a medical CSI to find out what was going on.  He tells me that it's pretty simple, they were all having sex with the same girl.  Except in this case, the girl was a female chicken.  Man that floozy really got around.


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## Manolito (Dec 7, 2010)

A Marine buddy of mine told me if you hold the chickens feet and let the wings flap it is a great ride. Or was it a Sailor?


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## Marauder06 (Dec 7, 2010)

Wow, this thread didn't take long to disintegrate into self-eroticism and beastiality...


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## Ranger Psych (Dec 7, 2010)

As you're in the corner fapping away to an enticing combination of both.

I loaned out porno with collateral. Spooge on it, and you don't get your fucking PSP or game boy back for the rest of the deployment.


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## Muppet (Dec 8, 2010)

So, When I was is Saudi Arabia as part of a security force after the Khobar Towers bombing, we were stationed on a Saudi airbase. Part of our job was to man the E.C.P.'s and guard towers. Part of my job as a medic was to ensure the guys on the line were hydrating (typical grunt medic work). So one day, I decide to go up into one of these guard towers and what did I find. 2 grunts were there / one on the M-60 and the other in the corner with a fleshlight. BUT, this was not an ordinary one. Back in the day as I am sure they have now, we had combat lifesavers and part of their job was to carry extra I.V. fluid for the platoon medic. Joe decided to take to 500cc. saline I.V. bags , tape them together @ both ends / leaving the middle open, rubbed sun tan lotion on it and leave it in the sun for a day. After the day was through, he used it like a porn star. His reaction to me was: "Hey doc, whats up"?

F.M.


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## Ranger Psych (Dec 8, 2010)

You didn't know the IV bag trick? What kind of a medic were you? lol


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## Chopstick (Dec 8, 2010)

Ive decided never to read this thread again.  :eek:


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## Muppet (Dec 8, 2010)

Ranger Psych said:


> You didn't know the IV bag trick? What kind of a medic were you? lol



Yea, well I was young then. This was the mid 90's.

F.M.


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## AMRUSMCR (Dec 16, 2010)

Freefalling said:


> I've also started carrying a Three Wolf Shirt, but shouldn't everyone?



Just for you .....

http://www.pajamacity.com/3-Wolf-Mo...d-Pajamas-with-Drop-Seat/productinfo/J635-WO/


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## AWP (Dec 16, 2010)

AMRUSMCR said:


> Just for you .....
> 
> http://www.pajamacity.com/3-Wolf-Mo...d-Pajamas-with-Drop-Seat/productinfo/J635-WO/



This brings a tear to my eye.

Call me.


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## RetPara (Dec 16, 2010)

Shit....  I was controversial for carrying a MSR Whisperlite and fieldshower......


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## Nasty (Dec 16, 2010)

This thread ALMOST inspired me to change my avatar to this...


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## shortbrownguy (Dec 16, 2010)

Firemedic said:


> So, When I was is Saudi Arabia as part of a security force after the Khobar Towers bombing, we were stationed on a Saudi airbase. Part of our job was to man the E.C.P.'s and guard towers. Part of my job as a medic was to ensure the guys on the line were hydrating (typical grunt medic work). So one day, I decide to go up into one of these guard towers and what did I find. 2 grunts were there / one on the M-60 and the other in the corner with a fleshlight. BUT, this was not an ordinary one. Back in the day as I am sure they have now, we had combat lifesavers and part of their job was to carry extra I.V. fluid for the platoon medic. Joe decided to take to 500cc. saline I.V. bags , tape them together @ both ends / leaving the middle open, rubbed sun tan lotion on it and leave it in the sun for a day. After the day was through, he used it like a porn star. His reaction to me was: "Hey doc, whats up"?
> 
> F.M.


Now the question I have was his newly created vixen named "Salina"?


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## x SF med (Dec 16, 2010)

shortbrownguy said:


> Now the question I have was his newly created vixen named "Salina"?



It's Shecky SBG...  he'll be here all week, remember to tip your waitresses... blow up or flesh...


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## AWP (Dec 27, 2010)

AMRUSMCR said:


> Just for you .....
> 
> http://www.pajamacity.com/3-Wolf-Mo...d-Pajamas-with-Drop-Seat/productinfo/J635-WO/



Guess what arrived in the mail today.....


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## AMRUSMCR (Dec 27, 2010)

Freefalling said:


> Guess what arrived in the mail today.....



Pictures, or it never happened.


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## AWP (Dec 27, 2010)

AMRUSMCR said:


> Pictures, or it never happened.



I see how it is....my word means nothing.....

I can't be held responsible for the power of the TWFP. Side effects may include spontaneous pregnancy, weak bladder or weak bowel syndrome, shortness of breath, dry mouth, hives, obsessive compulsive behavor, uncontrolled awesomeness, hang nails, bad hair days, lazy eye, the empire striking back, whooping cough, fever, anal blisters, Marcellus Wallace looking like a bitch, and dry skin.


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## x SF med (Dec 27, 2010)

Um, free....  you forgot nausea and vomiting and high fever and diarrhea, followed by death....  sorry that's when your pic gets posted...  :):cool::eek:


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## pardus (Dec 27, 2010)

Free, you HAVE to go to work one day wearing those!


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## x SF med (Dec 27, 2010)

pardus said:


> Free, you HAVE to go to work one day wearing those!



Yeah, the size x6 ones.


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## pardus (Dec 27, 2010)

Free, do you have a kindle?

http://www.amazon.com/Design-Protec...FA/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1293463039&sr=8-14


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## pardus (Dec 27, 2010)




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## AWP (Dec 27, 2010)

pardus said:


> Free, do you have a kindle?
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/Design-Protec...FA/ref=sr_1_14?ie=UTF8&qid=1293463039&sr=8-14



Yes I do.


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