# Case Study:  The Soul Plane Incident



## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

This is a followup to an event I mentioned in a previous thread. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the way this works, I post a starting point for a plot, and you chime in with your thoughts, opinions, snide comments... whatever you like, and I develop the story based on the responses. At the end I'll separate fact from fiction and provide a completed story.

This thread will probably make more sense to you if you read "*Case Study #2: The Loving Wife*" first.

Once again, this is a work of fiction. Although it is very loosely based on an actual event, anything that sounds "cool" or even remotely interesting is most likely completely made up. Additionally, the dialogue and situations in this work of fiction are representative of how Soldiers think, talk, and sometimes act. Consequently, there are likely to be incidents of "adult language" and "adult situations." Viewer discretion is advised...

* The Soul Plane Incident*

2nd Group’s deployment to Iraq is coming to a close. You are Captain Faith, an MI officer in command of the Group MI Detachment. Your first sergeant and right-hand-man is 1SG Reynolds. Your MI detachment consists of 100 individuals, most of whom have been spread across the length and breadth of Iraq. Some of them you haven’t seen, spoken to, or otherwise communicated with for the duration of the deployment. It has been a tough deployment for the detachment; many of them have seen a lot of combat and several have been wounded. One Soldier, SGT Billy Bradley, was killed during a major operation in Najaf during the uprising directed by Moqtada al-Sadr. Overall, the deployment has been a resounding success, and the Group commander and command sergeant major are very pleased with your unit. Even more importantly, the ODAs that the majority of your Soldiers are there to support are very satisfied with your troops’ performance. During the packup to head home, uniform standards are unofficially relaxed, and you notice some of your Soldiers wearing “team” hats and t-shirts, a reflection of their status as “honorary” members of the ODAs they supported during the deployment.

As the time comes to do up the manifest for your flight home, there is an unexpected wrinkle in the plan. The CJSOTF J4 tells you that an ODA is now scheduled to fly out on the same flight your detachment is on. No problem, right? Wrong, seating is limited and the 12 members of the ODA are going to bump a corresponding number of members of your detachment to a later flight. The next flight leaving is not for another week. What do you do?


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## Ranger Psych (Jul 16, 2011)

take volunteers for the second flight.

screen for mature individuals capable of handling themselves given they'll be effectively unsupervised except by themselves for the course of a week while in-country
make sure they all have their stuff wired tight still so there's nothing they're shirking personally if they get home a week late
Single guys go to the top of the list as volunteers
make sure you either have a volunteer, or a good ranking individual that can act as "hmfic" for the group while still in country.. IE, make sure they get your shit packed if there's anything left to pack and lift behind the main body, make sure they DO get manifested to go home, and make sure all ducks are in a row and get on a bird.


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## moobob (Jul 16, 2011)

Bring up the issue to the Group Support Company Commander, to bring up to the J4 and Group Commander if needed, and ask if there is a pressing reason the ODA needs to go home before your guys. Are you part of the same unit or not?

ODA's are the reason for existence as far as support soldiers, but getting bumped from a flight home because someone has a tab is bullshit. Order of movement into theater would be according to needs and mission priorities. Going home isn't.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

No one is more pissed off about this turn of events than 1SG Reynolds.  When he hears about this, he storms straight over to the Group J4 sergeant major, who says he’s acting on the orders of the Group command sergeant major.  When the highly irate first sergeant speaks to the CSM, the CSM explains with uncharacteristic patience that this particular ODA has another operational assignment pending in less than 30 days, and that is the reason why they have priority to return home.  It was not, as was commonly believed within the MID, that this is a case of “because they’re SF and you’re not.”  As usual, it was hard to argue with the CSM’s decision, and in any case it was certainly understandable why this team had priority. 

The support company commander is flying out with his company on the flight that leaves in a week.  That flight is big enough to take all 100 of your Soldiers as one unit, but it puts everyone back a week later than originally anticipated.  The support company commander  tells you that he will be glad to swap flights with you so all your guys can fly home together, if that’s what you want.  First Sergeant Reynolds says, “we all came over together, we all need to go back together.  We should take the later flight.” Do you take the  support company commander up on the offer, or do you split your force on the flight home?


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## TLDR20 (Jul 16, 2011)

I am an SF guy, I want to get home, I see no problem with either anything that has been stated or the trouble the support guys are going to get into "because" of the team guys. I see where this is leading(I think).


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## moobob (Jul 16, 2011)

I'm all for unit cohesion, esprit de corps etc, but I don't believe in keeping soldiers away from their families any longer than necessary.

I would have the 1SG identify soldiers that have skills such as forklift driving, bus driver qualification etc that can act as a redeployment ADVON, and have them take the original bird. If there is room to send individual sections and teams within the MID, you can fill the remaining seats keeping team integrity (SOT-As, CI guys, SOT-B, Analysts) etc. I would present this as a course of action to the 1SG and get his input before we (quickly) made the final decision. If the 1SG hadn't thought of that (from being so irate,) then I'd strongly suggest my plan. However, I'd more than likely agree with what the 1SG wanted to do in the end. I just think that my idea might be a little better in this particular case...

While "coming home together" is an understandable reason for taking the later flight, I don't think it does much for married Private Joe Snuffy who, in Group, is probably only getting about 3 to 5 months downtime before PMT and deploying again, and THAT is assuming he doesn't go to any schools inbetween.


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## moobob (Jul 16, 2011)

cback0220 said:


> I am an SF guy, I want to get home, I see no problem with either anything that has been stated or the trouble the support guys are going to get into "because" of the team guys. I see where this is leading(I think).



I was kind of expecting the "they have a mission right after redeployment" twist, but I'm not entirely sure where this will lead. The title "Soul Plane" has me wondering.

Also, while things like what the MID guys perceived was happening, do happen, it's not all that common so long as you're in a good unit. I went to the SSG board as a support dude. The first guy in was a fresh out of the Q Course SGT (non X-ray, former 11B). He came out of the board drenched in sweat after being kicked out. I think someone told him "Dude you're 18 series, you're good bro" and he walked in without studying expecting to be maxed. I went in, a lot more nervous after what I just saw, and maxed the board.


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## Ranger Psych (Jul 16, 2011)

Having done Rearvon and actually having somewhat liked doing it, I stand by my original thought process. Everyone wants to get home, but some really don't have pressing needs... ie, the barracks rat that is going to end up taking leave and staying in his barracks room post deployment... cough..cough.. I don't know anyone like that, really.

But in all honesty, you have a slated opportunity to get the significant majority of your guys on the bird. You'd do everyone a disservice by pushing them back a week, where you inconvenience (because that's all it is, without the major COC there they won't be tasked for shit, no bitch details, literally they're effectively "unsigned-for property") 12 guys who volunteered to stay late.


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## moobob (Jul 16, 2011)

This thread better have some strippers or something. Yeah, strippers.


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## TLDR20 (Jul 16, 2011)

If it is a real instance, one of which may either be real or VERY close to real I know where this one is going! Strippers would only be the beginning. Mara I am pretty sure I know the origins of this story, so I will stay outta it.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

cback0220 said:


> If it is a real instance, one of which may either be real or VERY close to real I know where this one is going! Strippers would only be the beginning. Mara I am pretty sure I know the origins of this story, so I will stay outta it.



:) sent you a PM.  I think your story is a lot more interesting than mine...

/////

OK, I pretty much finished writing the rest of the story, like I said this is a short one.  I'll continue to make changes to what I have so far based on the responses made in the thread.

So how do you guys want me to do the posts, in quick succession or string it out over a longer period of time?  I like to run longer because it gives more people the opportunity to chime in as the story is being written, but I'm OK with getting the story over with in a prompt(er) fashion if that's what you guys want.



moobob said:


> This thread better have some strippers or something. Yeah, strippers.



The last case study had a stripper in it; remember what eventually happened to her?  Surely no one wants that to happen again.

Right?  ;)


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## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

You vaguely recall that the detachment didn’t all come over as one, there was an advance party that arrived several weeks in front of the main body.  In fact, 1SG Reynolds headed up that group.  When reminded of that, the first sergeant looks a bit sheepish but still insists that everyone come back together.  While unit integrity is important, it’s not essential in an operation like going home.  Moving everyone to a later flight means needlessly disappointing Soldiers and family members, many of whom had already made arrangements to get off of work or to travel back home to be there for the re-deployment.  No, you will split the detachment and try to get as many people home on time as possible.

1SG Reynolds doesn’t need a lot of convincing when you tell him of your decision.  “OK, 12 of us need to stay behind.  The commander travels with the main body, so it’ll be me, SSG Rico, and who else staying the extra week?"  

Who do you decide who goes on what flight?


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## CDG (Jul 16, 2011)

Ask for volunteers and see if you can fill the slots that way.  If a married guy or a guy with kids volunteers, make sure it's not going to cause a huge issue with his loved ones back home to stay the extra week.  If it's a single guy I think you still need to make sure his parents/siblings/ other loved ones haven't planned a trip to see his homecoming.  Barring any major issues with that, the volunteers stay and then you see how many slots you still need to fill.  At some point I'm guessing the 1SG will have to tell a couple guys they don't have a choice and are staying.  It sucks, but it is what it is in that situation.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

Ultimately, you decide that four single junior enlisted Soldiers will make the trip back with you. All four of them are young guys with no family, who said they had no plans that couldn’t wait a week longer. After speaking with them to make sure they’re not putting themselves out by volunteering, you thank them for taking one for the team. The fact that there are four Soldiers going back now frees up one more spot on what has now become known as the “Early Bird,” as compared to the “Late Bird” that you and the rest of the leadership will be on. You decide that the 2LT augmentee will go back on the Early Bird with 1SG Reyolds. It will be a good experience for the 2LT to be the OIC for the flight, and having a competent officer around will mean that Reynolds won’t have to do all the admin work himself. In fact, if he’s smart, he’ll let the LT do it all; they’re young and motivated at that age anyway, and this LT has proven himself over the course of the deployment.

The night before the Early Bird is scheduled to leave, the warrant officers of the detachment throw a party for everyone. There is music, food, movies, and “near beer.” From the smell and the way some of the troops are acting, you suspect there is someone a little stronger than “near beer” going around. But they’re smart enough to keep it away from you, and there are no incidents. Towards the end of the evening, a movie is shown. It is the new movie “Soul Plane,” and the DVD is pirated- badly.  Listening to your Soldiers making fun of the quality of the movie was actually far funnier than the movie itself. Someone says, “Hey First Sergeant, you think that’s the Early Bird?” Reynolds just laughs. “For your sake, it better not be, Smitty” he replies.

When it comes time for the Early Bird to depart, you all go down to the flight line. 2LT Hyatt is very pleased to have been trusted with a little bit of responsibility, and jumped right into his role as OIC. With 1SG Reynold’s coaching, he seems to be doing very well. It’s not that the OIC’s job is particularly difficult, there is just a lot to keep up with. You watch as the weapons, commo, crypto, and other sensitive items are inventoried one last time and stuffed into tuff boxes to be floor loaded on the board the aircraft. Hyatt and Reynolds come over to say goodbye as the troops form up. After shaking hands with you, Reynolds directs his attention to SPC DeSilva, who stands beside you holding the unit guidon. “Take care of that guidon or I’ll have your ass when you get back home,” he growls. DeSilva smiles. “Roger First Sergeant.”

Reynolds stands at the top of the boarding ramp and counts the troops as they board. LT Hyatt brings up the rear. As Hyatt boards, Reynolds looks over at you and the troops that are remaining behind. You direct the small ground standing with you to the position of attention and call for order arms. The detachment guidon snaps smartly in the wind. Reynolds stands at the top of the ramp and returns the salute. He holds it for a long time even after you’ve given your group order arms. Reynolds slowly lowers his salute and takes a deep breath. This is clearly an emotional moment for him. He looks around one last time, then ducks into the airplane’s cabin and disappears into the metal monster’s belly. The door closes and the plane takes off, taking a hundred happy Soldiers home after a year in Iraq.

So, what do you think might happen on a flight from Balad, Iraq to CONUS, with a stop in Rota, Spain, that’s carrying an ODA and a bunch of support types who have been deployed for a year, and oh yeah a Reserve 2LT is in charge of the flight?


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## CDG (Jul 16, 2011)

Ummmm... A stripper, or several strippers, are videoed getting "friendly" with the guidon. They forget to wash it so it grows some type of something that could only come from foreign stripper contact. Pictures are taken in order to be sent to friends for medical analysis (along with the video) and an e-mail accidentally gets sent to 1SG Reynolds.


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## Dame (Jul 16, 2011)

CDG said:


> Ummmm... A stripper, or several strippers, are videoed getting "friendly" with the guidon. They forget to wash it so it grows some type of something that could only come from foreign stripper contact. Pictures are taken in order to be sent to friends for medical analysis and one accidentally gets sent to 1SG Reynolds.


Oh, eeewwwwee.


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## CDG (Jul 16, 2011)

Dame said:


> Oh, eeewwwwee.



I figured I'd take a stab at it.....


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## Marauder06 (Jul 16, 2011)

CDG said:


> Ummmm... A stripper, or several strippers, are videoed getting "friendly" with the guidon. They forget to wash it so it grows some type of something that could only come from foreign stripper contact. Pictures are taken in order to be sent to friends for medical analysis (along with the video) and an e-mail accidentally gets sent to 1SG Reynolds.



:eek:

Uh, no.  The guidon stays with the commander.


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## moobob (Jul 17, 2011)

The plane breaks down in Rota and they get some Spanish girls pregnant and marry them?


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## SpitfireV (Jul 17, 2011)

Yeah it's the Bounty all over again.

If someone could help with one thing though- the Gideon. Is that the Standard?


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## x SF med (Jul 17, 2011)

Rota...  nuff said....  could be worse it could have been Moron... or Madrid...  or Stuttgart or Bittburg...

notice my fat yap has been good and shut till now....  one word, Sir...  Scotch  ...  well two ...  Scotch Whisky


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## Marauder06 (Jul 17, 2011)

So then what happened was-

Oh wait, sorry, I forgot there was a seven-day moratorium on this topic thanks to Chopstick. Never mind.


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## Chopstick (Jul 17, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> So then what happened was-
> 
> Oh wait, sorry, I forgot there was a seven-day moratorium on this topic thanks to Chopstick. Never mind.


Pay attention..I SAID CLIP ART.  You occifers are so overly sensitive. Gosh.


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## CDG (Jul 17, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> :eek:
> 
> Uh, no. The guidon stays with the commander.



In all fairness, sir, I never said it didn't.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 17, 2011)

CDG said:


> In all fairness, sir, I never said it didn't.



lol- noted.  There are no strippers in this story.

At least not yet.


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## RetPara (Jul 17, 2011)

If there aren't any issues with customs over WTF did you people get that weapon (Customs MP's are used to seeing people issued both an SVD and M4), No the wooden crate is only labeled Scotch, it was the only crate we could find.....?

There aren't strippers or female Air Force types involved......

The greatest danger is that one of the troops staying behind will decide fuck it... This sitting around shit is for the birds... I'm going to find a job wile I'm here without telling the Cdr. Then informally attaches his ass to some unit headed outside the wire for a couple of weeks.....

Beyound that.... it's all good.


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## DA SWO (Jul 17, 2011)

RetPara said:


> If there aren't any issues with customs over WTF did you people get that weapon (Customs MP's are used to seeing people issued both an SVD and M4), No the wooden crate is only labeled Scotch, it was the only crate we could find.....?
> 
> There aren't strippers or female Air Force types involved......
> 
> ...


Rota is a Naval Air Station, so getting AF scabbies is reduced.
I see a fight at the O or Chief's Club.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 17, 2011)

Good ideas everyone.

For everyone EXCEPT Chopstick ;) :

Absolutely nothing unusual happens on the Early Bird flight home.  

2LT Hyatt ensures all of the sensitive items are turned in, and that everyone gets signed out on leave.  First Sergeant Reynolds calls to give you the closeout report.  You ask him what his plans are, and he says he’s going to wait until you get home before he starts leave.  You assure him that isn’t necessary, there are only 12 detachment Soldiers on the Late Bird flight.  Eventually  you convince him that he can go ahead and start leave.  “It’s mostly officers on my flight anyway,” you say.  “That’s what I’m afraid of, sir” he jokes back.

The days go by quickly.  Most people spend their time between the chow hall, the gym, the MWR hut, and the sleep tent.  All twelve of you are put into the same large tent designated for transient living.  Since everyone else is already gone, you have quite a bit of room to spread out.  Chief Rollins, the counterintelligence warrant officer and the only female in the Late Bird crew, originally had a separate tent designated for females all to herself.  However, she woke up one night with some strange man in her tent.  She wasn’t harmed, but right then, the moved into the very center of the tent where the other members of the detachment were staying.  The next morning she put up a curtain of poncho liners and no one batted an eye to have her living in the same tent.


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## Chopstick (Jul 17, 2011)

Why was Frank S in Chief Rollin's tent?


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## SpitfireV (Jul 17, 2011)

Just some stranger? And no effort made to establish the identity?


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## moobob (Jul 17, 2011)

Is Chief Rollins hot?


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## TLDR20 (Jul 18, 2011)

moobob said:


> Is Chief Rollins hot?



X2


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## Marauder06 (Jul 18, 2011)

moobob said:


> Is Chief Rollins hot?



I haven't decided yet, she's a completely fictional character not based on any particular individual(s).  I guess I'll let that be your call.


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## LibraryLady (Jul 18, 2011)

Hmmm...

I been in Chief Rollins shoes - poncho liner curtains and living in the middle of people you trust is definitely the way to go.

LL


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## moobob (Jul 18, 2011)

OK, she's hot. There are some attractive women in CI, so it adds to realism.


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## x SF med (Jul 18, 2011)

ok...   the Reader's Digest Version of this story so far...
1. EOT exfil scheduled
2. SF Team bumps 12 from our hero's MIDet to a later plane (exfil x 12 pax bumped a week)
3. Initial exfil is smooth,
   a. 2LT Snuffy does well with getting the team back and 1SG is cutting pax loose for leave after outbrief
   b. staybehinds are lonely, bored, but safe
4. there is 1 ea hot Whiskey CWO CI type, originally bunked solo, changed RON acccomodations to a semi private 'hospital suite' in the middle of the remaining MID bunks... after an incident with Free stalking her in the middle of the night.
5. multiple confirmations that CWO must be hot from the young and delirious in the crowd:-"
6. To this point nothing wholly untoward nor detrimental to unit honor has occurred...  but there has to be a twist on its way...  it's a Mara Case Study.....:-|


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## Marauder06 (Jul 18, 2011)

x SF med said:


> ok... the Reader's Digest Version of this story so far...
> ....:-|



Yep; that's pretty much it.



x SF med said:


> To this point nothing wholly untoward nor detrimental to unit honor has occurred... but there has to be a twist on its way... it's a Mara Case Study.....:-|



So you're saying "the end" isn't appropriate at this time?  ;)



moobob said:


> OK, she's hot. There are some attractive women in CI, so it adds to realism.



OK then, I'll have to do some character development for Rollins, I mean past "she's hot."  No problem.

/////

While you’re forming up for final manifest call on the day of departure, Doc Chin, the Group surgeon, approaches you with a big smile on his face.  He asks if you want some Ambien for your trip; you say “sure, Doc” and he holds out a huge bottle of the drug.  “Wow, you got us a whole bottle?”  “Yes,” he replies, “one pill is ‘help me sleep  a couple of hours,’ two pills is ‘put me in a coma until we land CONUS.”  You thank the doc profusely and slip the bottle into your pocket.  Ambien is very hard to come by, and he managed to score you a whole bottle.

Manifest call goes fine, except for one Soldier who shows up late.  His name is SGT Douchet, he’s an admin clerk, newly promoted (and in your opinion, overpromoted) to E5.  He seems to have a bit of an attitude when some of the more senior NCOs give him a hard time about showing up late for final manifest.  You let it go; after all, you’re heading home today.  Sensitive items pallatization goes without incident, and one of the detachment’s E8s counts everyone onto the flight.  By tradition (and by pre-flight brief), the front left row of seats closest to the left-side emergency doors is reserved for the flight OIC and NCOIC.  This is for a couple of reasons- one, because it’s always easier to find the people in charge when they’re consistently seated in the same spot, and two, because those seats are considered more comfortable because of the extra leg room;  it’s kind of a reward for having to go through the pain-in-the-ass that comes with being the OIC and NCOIC of the flight.  As you’re getting onboard, you see that SGT Douchet is sitting on the front row, the one that’s usually reserved for the OIC and NCOIC.  He has also spread his gear out over the entire row; clearly, his intent is to have the whole row to himself.  Well, Douchet was late for manifest call, maybe he missed that part of the briefing?  No, he’s just being a dick.  You feel your temper start to flare.  What do you do?


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## DA SWO (Jul 18, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> Yep; that's pretty much it.
> 
> So you're saying "the end" isn't appropriate at this time? ;)
> 
> ...



Tell him to move his shit out of the TC area.  Or make him the TC and let him earn his E-5 pay;)


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## x SF med (Jul 18, 2011)

SOWT said:


> Tell him to move his shit out of the TC area. Or make him the TC and let him earn his E-5 pay;)



x100....  plus a little NCO Luuuuuuuurve thrown in from the NCOIC for the newly promoted asshat...  who it appears is looking to lose his newly acquired stripes with aCompany or Bn grade Art.15 for failure to muster and failure to follow load plan.   But hey, that's just me...  late and lost is no way to show you are an NCO.


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## CDG (Jul 18, 2011)

Remind him of what the plan was and tell him to GTFO of your seats. Although I'm guessing that since this detail would be somewhat benign without some follow up incident, the SGT throws attitude around and other actions are required....


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## x SF med (Jul 18, 2011)

I can only see this getting better...   and I do believe the newly minted 3 striper will be one of the lead roles in the next scene...


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## Crusader74 (Jul 18, 2011)

I would remind the E-5 that firstly he was late for parade and then had the cheek to sit on the OIC's seat!  Then tell him to get his kit and GTFO of the area and I don't want to see him for the rest of the flight.


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## x SF med (Jul 18, 2011)

This thread needs a little ambiance, and this is 100% appropriate....


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## 104TN (Jul 18, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> ...What do you do?



Put your dick in his ear and make him the landscaping NCO when you get back stateside.


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## Chopstick (Jul 19, 2011)

rick said:


> Put your dick in his ear and make him the landscaping NCO when you get back stateside.


Thanks once again Rickster for causing me to spew coffee everywhere first thing in the morning.


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## Ranger Psych (Jul 19, 2011)

make his ass sleep on a pallet, and/or patrol the cargo bay on the hour to ensure no avian encroachment of unit equipment


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Jul 20, 2011)

I think it is awesome Doc Doom hooked you up like that, Sir. :)

As for SGT Douchebag, face stomp the little turd! Or make him mow the carpet with his teeth the entire flight back.

What caused him to be late? What is he smuggling on board the plane? Since you are going to build the Chief's character, obviously he is the turd that snuck into her tent, stole some underwear, and had to retrieve it out of his bag (causing him to be late). He will then start some shenanigans with said underwear, leading the Chief to turn his 'P' into a 'V' with a single swift kick.

Meanwhile, you are so doped up on Ambien, you miss everything and wake up just before landing CONUS. As soon as you get the green light, you pull out your iPhone, check Facebook, and see Melton Knife and Design tagged a pic of you with the previously mentioned underwear on your head, linked to SGT Douchebag's profile.

Now it is game on.


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## Crusader74 (Jul 20, 2011)

rick said:


> Put your dick in his ear and make him the landscaping NCO when you get back stateside.



You have them too!!  LMAO!!


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## Marauder06 (Jul 20, 2011)

LimaOscarSierraTango said:


> I think it is awesome Doc Doom hooked you up like that, Sir. :)



Well, our real-life Group surgeon was Asian,  I think I'll develop the Doc character a little better, with Doc Doom in mind.  



LimaOscarSierraTango said:


> As for SGT Douchebag, face stomp the little turd! Or make him mow the carpet with his teeth the entire flight back.
> 
> What caused him to be late? What is he smuggling on board the plane? Since you are going to build the Chief's character, obviously he is the turd that snuck into her tent, stole some underwear, and had to retrieve it out of his bag (causing him to be late). He will then start some shenanigans with said underwear, leading the Chief to turn his 'P' into a 'V' with a single swift kick.
> 
> ...



Some of those suggestions are pretty good, I especially like the ones linked to developing Chief Rollins' character.  And I'm all about the shout-outs too, I'll work in a Melton knife and of course a couple of references to ShadowSpear.


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Jul 20, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> And I'm all about the shout-outs too, I'll work in a Melton knife and of course a couple of references to ShadowSpear.



Don't forget to pimp the Revision sunglasses that were donated to your Company. :cool:


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## Marauder06 (Jul 20, 2011)

LimaOscarSierraTango said:


> Don't forget to pimp the Revision sunglasses that were donated to your Company. :cool:



The main difference is, Revision actually gave me a sample of their product.  Just sayin'.  ;)


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Jul 20, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> The main difference is, Revision actually gave me a sample of their product. Just sayin'. ;)



If that doesn't get you a free blade, Sir, I believe some black ops moderating may be called for. :-"


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## x SF med (Jul 20, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> Well, our real-life Group surgeon was Asian, I think I'll develop the Doc character a little better, with Doc Doom in mind.
> 
> Some of those suggestions are pretty good, I especially like the ones linked to developing Chief Rollins' character. And I'm all about the shout-outs too, *I'll work in a Melton knife* and of course a couple of references to ShadowSpear.



sooo....  You actually own a Ninja Glock with the Time travelling interdimensional optics... MKD did not exist at the time of the Soul Plane Incident, in this dimension, or time line....   We need to send you back to Area 51 for 28 Days with 13 Monkeys and the Kradle ....  WB will be your purveyor of supplements and Dknob will be your Hollywood producer...

Would you get on with the next installment already?  Um, Please, Sir.


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Jul 20, 2011)

x SF med said:


> sooo.... You actually own a Ninja Glock with the Time travelling interdimensional optics... MKD did not exist at the time of the Soul Plane Incident, in this dimension, or time line.... We need to send you back to Area 51 for 28 Days with 13 Monkeys and the Kradle .... WB will be your purveyor of supplements and Dknob will be your Hollywood producer...
> 
> Would you get on with the next installment already? Um, Please, Sir.



Holy cross-thread points batman!  LOL


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## x SF med (Jul 20, 2011)

multiple necro cross thread, banned members, recurring theme and officer slam points...  with a Trollish twist or two...   degree of difficulty is "don't try this at home, kids, we're experts"


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## Marauder06 (Jul 20, 2011)

x SF med said:


> multiple necro cross thread, banned members, recurring theme and officer slam points... with a Trollish twist or two... degree of difficulty is "don't try this at home, kids, we're experts"



Oh yeah?  Well...

Nah, I've got nothin' ;)


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## Marauder06 (Jul 20, 2011)

x SF med said:


> sooo.... You actually own a Ninja Glock with the Time travelling interdimensional optics... MKD did not exist at the time of the Soul Plane Incident, in this dimension, or time line.......



That's the great thing about fiction...


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## Chopstick (Jul 20, 2011)

x SF med said:


> sooo.... You actually own a Ninja Glock with the Time travelling interdimensional optics... MKD did not exist at the time of the Soul Plane Incident, in this dimension, or time line.... We need to send you back to Area 51 for 28 Days with 13 Monkeys and the Kradle .... WB will be your purveyor of supplements and Dknob will be your Hollywood producer...
> 
> Would you get on with the next installment already? Um, Please, Sir.


That actually made my head hurt.


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## LibraryLady (Jul 20, 2011)

Chopstick said:


> That actually made my head hurt.



My personal prescription for just such an ailment is large quantities of chocolate. Or booze. And earplugs.

;)

LL


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## CDG (Jul 21, 2011)

x SF med said:


> Would you get on with the next installment already? Um, Please, Sir.



I love how Marauder specifically responded to two other sections of xSFmed's posts, but conveniently "forgot" to address this.


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## Chopstick (Jul 21, 2011)

CDG said:


> I love how Marauder specifically responded to two other sections of xSFmed's posts, but conveniently "forgot" to address this.


He is probably going to blame the delay on me somehow..when he is probably actually laying around the pool at the country club sipping Glenlivit.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 21, 2011)

CDG said:


> I love how Marauder specifically responded to two other sections of xSFmed's posts, but conveniently "forgot" to address this.



:)  I had to go back and do some editing to incorporate some of the things that you guys suggested- and then I didn't like what I wrote so I had to re-do it.

 


Chopstick said:


> He is probably going to blame the delay on me somehow..when he is probably actually laying around the pool at the country club sipping Glenlivit.




Then Chopstick threw off my chi and I have to get re-centered before I can write anymore.


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## Chopstick (Jul 21, 2011)

You fiction writers are so temperamental.


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## x SF med (Jul 21, 2011)

LibraryLady said:


> My personal prescription for just such an ailment is large quantities of chocolate. Or booze. And earplugs.
> 
> ;)
> 
> LL


and that's your problem....  putting earplugs in your eyes again...


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## LibraryLady (Jul 21, 2011)

x SF med said:


> and that's your problem.... putting earplugs in your eyes again...



But, but, but, but... isn't that where they go?  To keep me from hearing what you write?  :confused:

LL


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## Marauder06 (Jul 24, 2011)

The last four people on the plane are you, your NCOIC, your driver SPC DeSilva, and your good friend, CPT Jones, who is another intel officer in 2nd Group.  As you stand there with your face turning red, your friend Captain Jones leans over and says, “You want me to lay my junk on his shoulder until he moves his ass out of your seat?”  Too angry to respond, you say nothing.  Jones shrugs and begins undoing the buttons on his trousers.  Before anything… unfortunate can happen, SPC DeSilva walks up to SGT Douchet and says, “Douchet, move your ass to the back of the plane like you’re supposed to before CPT Jones puts his cock in your ear gain.”  The way he said it was in a disarming, “aw, shucks” manner that completely defused the situation.  Amid a scattering of chuckles, Douchet, scowling, gathers his things and retreats to the back of the aircraft and DeSilva sits beside him.   You, your NCOIC and CPT Jones settle into the front row of seats.  “I would have done it, too” Jones whispers to you.  “I know brother,” you smile back.  

A short time later, the Air Force crew chief appears and motions for your.  He tells you that there is a guy here who wants to get on the flight.  Standing behind him is a tall man with a scruffy beard, wearing cargo pants and a 511 shirt.  He introduces himself as “Paul” and says that his ODA needs a ride home. The crew chief says it’s up to you whether or not they fly with you.  You know that an ODA is 12 men, you look over your shoulder and there are some empty seats but you don’t think that there is enough room for a full 12-man ODA.  For 12 other people to get on the flight, someone else will have to get off.  What do you do?


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## Chopstick (Jul 24, 2011)

You tell the 12 guys that want to fly that first they have to let CPT Jones put his dick in their ear.  Those that decline..fly.


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## DA SWO (Jul 24, 2011)

Tell the ODA Cdr that you'll take as many as you can.
Ask for any volunteers to swap with the remaining ODA members.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Jul 24, 2011)

Yeah I would not handle this situation (the whole situation) well at all. If that ODA’s follow on mission is so important, maybe their leadership should have preplanned a bit in advance. Although it’s a losing battle and I understand the importance of priority, ect. Some local SFG command would have been putting my 12 soldier up in kick ass hotel, with some kick ass room service. The least they could do for putting me, my staff and unit in a situation like that…

As for “Paul” and his ODA, get in where you can fit in bro. My guy’s fly, if you can fit your ODA in here then you’re welcome to do so. If not, sucks for you. At the end of the day there is only so much flexibility room in accommodating “other units” at some point you have to put your unit first, otherwise every unit will be kicking your people off the bird, every time and you will never get them home. Don’t think for one second that the same ODA would not have told you to take a flying leap (team/unit integrity).

I am all for helping people out and doing the right thing, but I would be having some question (complaints) of what the hell is going on in SF that they can’t properly coordinate their travel plans so that they are not asking to bump soldiers/units off of other flights. Bad way to do business and not the image I would want to set if I was representing SF. :confused:

All that said, I couldn’t and wouldn’t be mad or blame the ODA. They are just doing what they can to get where they need to be. However, if their leadership is failing them, it doesn’t mean you have to fail your unit as a leader…


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## x SF med (Jul 24, 2011)

Is it a full team or a split team?  Offer the seats you can to "Paul" and his ODA, from the way the Crew Chief worded the introduction, and the nonchalant request it sounds like they are just birddogging flights as they can, they'll take what they can get, your guys (and gal, the hot Chief is still with you, you haven't sold her to an Arab Sheik, right) have already bounced aweek and should not be displaced again.

If it was an emergency evac for retasking the arrangements would have come as orders from on high, not a polite request from a Team Daddy/Team Leader at the door of the plane at the last minute.


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## Marauder06 (Jul 24, 2011)

“Paul” can take his scruffy little “I have it to blend in” beard and his Suunto watch and designer sunglasses, and he and his little friends can catch the next plane back. No way is some Gucci-clad prima donna team guy going to bump your troops- again. You’re about to tell him this when your flight NCOIC MSG Rush speaks up. “How many pax in your ODA?” he asks. “Eight” says Paul. Rush turns to the crew chief. “We have 115 pax on the flight right now. How many empty seats does that leave us?” “Ten,” says the crew chief. Rush gives you a little look that says, “Well?” Even with the team on board, you’ll still be two seats short of a full load. “I guess you guys can ride with us” you say, grudgingly. “Thanks sir,” says Paul. The flight is delayed for a short time while the ODA and their gear is loaded. The delay is annoying, but you’re going home so what the hell.

The eight members of the ODA straggle onto the flight. They are dressed in an assortment of high-end civilian outdoors clothes, and most are sporting long hair and beards. The last passenger aboard the flight is limping badly, and he is helped aboard by one of his team mates. CPT Jones, seated beside you at the bulkhead, gives up his seat and moves to the back of the plane so that the limping Soldier can have the extra legroom provided by the bulkhead seating. This guy looks younger than the others, and you think he’s an officer. Sure enough, he turns out to be the team leader. He is very friendly, but seems very tired. “Thanks for letting us catch a ride,” he says, shaking your hand. “ They call me “Marshmallow.” When you ask why, he says “oh, it’s probably because I’m soft and fat and white.” This is kind of funny even to you, because he’s black and if there is a trace of fat in his body, it’s not apparent. “So why only 8 pax, I thought there were 12 on an ODA” you ask, “Where are your other guys?” “Oh, they’re here on the plane too,” he says, and his voice cracks a bit. “They’re belly-loaded. We hit an IED on our convoy back to Balad two days and we lost four guys. Most of us got hit trying to get the bodies back. The group commander decided to send us all back so we could escort the bodies and help out the families. You flight was the only thing heading out of here today and…” He turns his head away and clears his throat. You give him a minute to regain his composure. Leaning over to your left, you whisper into MSG Rush’s ear, “Thanks for saving me from making a complete ass out of myself over letting these guys on the plane.” “That’s what I’m here for, sir,” he replies, grinning.

As the plane clears the runway, you remember the bottle of Ambien you have in your pocket. Should you give it out now, or wait until later?


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## x SF med (Jul 27, 2011)

MSG Rush deserves a Soldier's Medal for keeping the sharpened high velocity track shoes away from your crank. 

Ambien is a bad idea....  Benadryl causes less problems and reduces nausea.:-/


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Jul 27, 2011)

x SF med said:


> MSG Rush deserves a Soldier's Medal for keeping the sharpened high velocity track shoes away from your crank.



I agree, well maybe not the Soldiers Medal but a case of beer or two... Damn.:sick:


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## x SF med (Jul 30, 2011)

YooHoo...  Mara...  next installment please...  even a C-130, or fully laden African Swallow, could get to Rota faster than this...


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## Marauder06 (Aug 1, 2011)

x SF med said:


> YooHoo... Mara... next installment please... even a C-130, or fully laden African Swallow, could get to Rota faster than this...



:)

Sorry for the wait.

 You decide to save the bottle of Ambien until you take off from Rota.  The bottle that the doc gave you is huge, but there are a very large number of passengers, and you may not have enough of the drug for everyone on the longer, trans-Atlantic leg of the flight if you hand out the first round before the Iraq-to-Europe part of the flight.  Besides, C-5 aircraft like the one you’re riding in are notorious for having mechanical problems, and several departing Iraq have been forced to return to Balad or divert to other in-theater airfields for repairs.  The last thing you want is a hundred-plus groggy, sedated troops to deal with in a terminal.  You make small talk with Marshmallow for a while, and a cheer arises as the captain announces that the flight is clear of Iraqi airspace.  Then everyone seems to drift off to sleep for a while.

There are no issues on the flight from Iraq.  The plane touches down on time in Rota, Spain and taxis to a halt.  The crew chief approaches and tells you and MSG Rush that buses are en route to take you and the rest of the passengers to the terminal.  He adds that everyone will need to be back at the terminal in two hours for transportation back to the plane.  He says that as per the installation SOP, Air Force SF will provide guards for the plane and its pallet of weapons, commo gear, and other sensitive items including classified while the plane is on the ground.  He also tells you that there is a very popular all-ranks club on the base, walking distance from the terminal,  that serves good food and has excellent entertainment.  Alternately, you can keep everyone in the “holding area” inside the terminal and he can arrange for delivery of “Jimmy Dean” cold lunches.  He says it’s up to you and MSG Rush how the passengers spend the next two hours.  As the OIC and NCOIC for the flight, what kinds of things do you and MSG Rush need to keep in mind, and what do you decide to do?


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Aug 1, 2011)

Lock them down, 2 hours is not enough time to go fuck off...


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## SpitfireV (Aug 1, 2011)

Do a whip around, take a ute over to the club, pick up hot lunches and bring them back. Two hours only would encourage most people to drink as much as they can before they have to go back and you'd have vomit all through the aircraft.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 6, 2011)

As you ride across the airfield on the bus, you talk it over with MSG Rush. Apparently, the all-ranks club is directly across the street from the terminal. A hot lunch sounds really good after a long flight from Iraq, especially after 6 months of MREs and t-rations. You and Rush decide to allow the flight an hour at the club, that should be plenty of time for a nice lunch before everyone has to be back at the terminal. When you get off the bus, Rush instructs everyone to remain in the terminal for a few minutes while he speaks with the Air Force NCOIC at the terminal. When Rush returns, he confers briefly with you and then makes an announcement:

“OK, listen up, time now is 1100 hours. The bus back to the plane leaves at precisely 1215. When I dismiss you, you’re on your own until 1200 hours, at which time I want everyone back here for headcount and prep to board the buses. Hot chow is available at the all-ranks club across the street, but it doesn’t open until 1130 hours. That only give you have an hour for chow. The PX is two blocks away, to the right as you leave the terminal. They have a food court, and you can get snacks there. BE BACK HERE AT 1200!!! “Big Boy Rules” are in effect, and I will leave your ass here. We’re going home men, don’t let one “oh shit” here on the back end destroy six months of “attaboys.” See you at noon, dismissed!”

As most of the hundred-plus members of your flight flow happily out of the doors of the terminal and into their first taste of “freedom” for the last six months, you notice that a few people have remained behind. In addition to yourself and MSG Rush, a handful of people have remained behind to use the phone, read a book, or take a quick nap. You also see that the ODA has remained behind. Well, most of them at least. Glancing over the quick knot of men settling in against a far wall, you approach the group and notice that they are now down to seven.

“Are you guys missing a person?” you ask.

“Yeah, we left the junior Bravo out on the plane to guard the weapons and… cargo,” said Paul. By “cargo,” of course, he meant the four caskets containing the rest of his team.

“Oh, did you not know that the Air Force security forces were going to put guards on the plane?” you ask.

“Yes, we knew, but we don’t want our teammates to be alone until we get them back home,” replied Paul.

Again feeling awkward and looking to change the subject, you ask “So, are you guys not going to pick up some snacks or hot chow before we head back home?” “Yeah, we’ll probably head to the club when it opens up,” replies Marshmallow, “have a seat!” While you make small talk with “Marsh,” he introduces you to the rest of the team. As best you can tell, Marsh is team leader, and Paul is the team sergeant. Also present are Drew, Gary, “Shakey,” James, and Roy. Marsh explains that JB (for Junior Bravo) is staying with the plane for the duration of the time on the ground as penance for some unspecified transgression. You notice Gary is working a small sharpening stone along the blade of a very nice knife. “Nice knife,” you say. Gary looks at you for a second, then flips the knife over, catching it by the blade, and hands it to you. It’s heavy, about a foot long, with a beautifully shaped handle. “Chief Stein made a knife for everyone on the team,” Gary explains. “Making knives was kind of his thing. I think I might take it up.” From the way everyone looks, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Chief Stein is one of the four bodies on the plane. Roy says, “Chief should have designed JB’s knife with a handle on each end,” at which all of the ODA erupts in laughter at some kind of inside joke.

Time goes by quickly and soon it’s time to head across the street to the all-ranks club. As you cross the street you see SGT Douchet, the same young NCO who gave you attitude before the flight out of Iraq, sitting in the covered gondola outside the terminal with several empty beer cans on the table in front of him. “Classy,” you mutter as you cross the street to the club. Although Douchet is not technically violating any rule you can think of at the moment, for some reason it irks you to see that he is drinking in public during what would otherwise be a work day.

The club is dark and quiet, with an odd combination of odors on the air. It was a combination of heat, sweat, stale beer and cooking meat, that was simultaneously intriguing and slightly repulsive. As you sit down at a table with Marsh and MSG Rush, you notice that most of the people in the club are from your flight. You order a Diet Coke, and when you go to pay, you remember a letter in your pocket that you had completely forgotten about until now. On your last day in Iraq, Gary Williams, a civilian augmentee who remained behind in Iraq after you left, gave you an envelope with instructions to open it once you got to Rota. MSG Rush, seeing you look at the envelope, asks what you have. “It’s a letter from Gary Williams, I wonder what it is.” “An expression of his undying love for you?” replies SPC DeSilva, and laughter erupts from the members of your company who are seated near you. Mr. Williams was a bit… eccentric and the general consensus within the company was that he was gay. You didn’t share that sentiment, and it wouldn’t have mattered to you if he was, he was great at his job and never caused any problems. You open the envelope and to find a letter. Opening the letter, two $100 bills fall onto the table. The letter, addressed to you, says “CPT Faith, I want to thank you and Soldiers of the 2nd Group MID for their service to their country and the sacrifices they have made in support of the Global War on Terror. When you get to Spain, raise a toast to Billy Bradley. Drinks are on me.” You show the letter to MSG Rush, who says, “I can drink to that.”


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## x SF med (Aug 7, 2011)

I see issues with Douchet, several empty beer cans in the space of less than a 1/2 hour and drinking alone for that matter spells larger problems looming.


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## LogCinco (Aug 7, 2011)

I thought I chaptered Douchet out of the Army before we even deployed!?  WTH!!


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## Marauder06 (Aug 7, 2011)

lol- no fair telling what actually happened since you already know this story.


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## Robal2pl (Aug 7, 2011)

Would be legal to order SGT Douchet to stay in some certain place or order someone to look after him, because he seems to be drunk or going to be?


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## x SF med (Aug 7, 2011)

How are you going to gather the scattered to the winds MID back together to honor the request to toast Billy Bradley?  Douchet is well beyond a toast already and I see him getting belligerent and becoming a HUGE stain on the decorous behavior of the rest of your unit....

Unless, the toast takes place at the pre board formation/headcount/roll....  douchet may be passed out or in jail by that time, he will have had an hour to wholly screw the unit at that point.


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## Gypsy (Aug 9, 2011)

And....? Next installment please! :)  This is another good one.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 9, 2011)

Sorry, sorting through boxes.  Next installment after I unpack the china.


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## Chopstick (Aug 9, 2011)

Why are YOU unpacking the china?  That is just wrong.  You are only going to break it.  Just let the kids do it(no markers please) and get on with the next installment.


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## x SF med (Aug 9, 2011)

I'm surprised Mrs. Mara is letting  Mara (aka SGT Douchet) anywhere near the china at all:-|


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## Chopstick (Aug 10, 2011)

x SF med said:


> I'm surprised Mrs. Mara is letting Mara (aka SGT Douchet) anywhere near the china at all:-|


I know..that is why Im calling BS about the china unpacking.  He probably is busy laying out all his little treasures on the tarp in the garage.....:-"


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## Gypsy (Aug 10, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> Sorry, sorting through boxes. Next installment after I unpack the china.



Ah yes...the unpacking.  Have fun!


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## CDG (Aug 16, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> Sorry, sorting through boxes. Next installment after I unpack the china.



You must have a lot of china.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 16, 2011)

CDG said:


> You must have a lot of china.



lol

Just for you:

“So, what do you think we should get,” you ask MSG Rose. “I think Bradley was partial to a good Scotch,” he replies. It takes her best smile, one of the two $100 bills Gary Williams gave you, and about fifteen minutes of cajoling in Spanish but Chief Rollins, your female counterintelligence warrant officer, eventually persuades the bartender agrees to give up an unopened bottle his best Scotch. The bartender brings over a tray full of shot glasses and a bottle of 18-year-old Glenlivet. You’ve never heard of Glenlivet before, and you figure for what you just shelled out for that one bottle you could have probably gotten a gallon of your favorite Southern Comfort, but whatever, the Glenlivet seemed to make everyone else happy.

The bar still only holds the members of your company and the bar staff. You figure that the bottle will probably give all of your guys one shot apiece with maybe a little left over. MSG Rush hands out the shotglasses as you uncork the bottle. While you pour the drinks , Marsh and his teammates walk in. “Gentlemen,” you say about the noise, “I hope you’ll join us for a drink!” Marsh and Paul take a seat at your table.

“Thanks for the offer,” Marsh says, “but I’m not drinking until after the funerals.”

“Fair enough,” you respond, “we’re mourning the loss of one of our own too. SGT Billy Bradley.”

Marsh looks at you for a moment. “SGT Bradley, one of the fallen heroes of Najaf?”

“Yes,” you reply, “did you know him?”

“Yeah, he was a gunner in the element that was attached to my team when we went in after al Sadr!” Marsh said excitedly. “Hey,” he leans over to Paul, who was engrossed in conversation with Chief Rollins and clearly did not want to be disturbed, “These guys are from SGT Bradley’s unit!”

Paul looked down at the table. “That was a bad day for both of our units,” he says.

“I’d like to hear about it. The story we got up at Group level was conflicting and kind of all over the place,” MSG Rush adds softly.

Marsh considers this for a second. “Sure,” he looks at Paul, “I think we should break them out.” Paul calls the team together and they pull out identical shot glasses, emblazoned with the Special Forces crest and engraved with “223,” their team number. Seeing the shot glasses, someone says “Wow, you SF guys take that “be prepared” business seriously.” “That’s the Boy Scouts, you idiot,” someone else chimes in, and everyone laughs.

As the shots were handed out, the atmosphere was a strange mix of sadness at the loss of comrades, and joy at the thought of going home. When everyone who wanted one had a shot in hand, you stand up and say, “Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to celebrate the lives of five brave men. I ask you to raise your glasses to the memory of those we lost from the Group MI Company and ODA 223. Our Soldiers fought and died together in Najaf, brave men good too soon. Before we down our shots, I’d like to ask ODA 223 if they’d like to say a few words.”

Paul looks at Marsh and says, “All yours, sir.” Marsh raises his glass, and in a loud clear voice says, “Here’s to us and those like us.” “DAMN FEW LEFT” comes the thunderous response.

The liquor burns down your throat and immediately you feel a warming sensation in your face. That was pretty good, actually. Not worth $100 a bottle, but pretty damn good liquor. As you’re settling down from the toast, an Air Force NCO bursts into the club, a concerned look on his face. MSG Rush jumps up and walks over to him. They talk briefly, the Air Force NCO waving his hands animatedly. This can’t be good. You get up and walk over, but before you can ask him what happened, MSG Rush bellows out, “LISTEN UP! The flight has been delayed. Meet back in the terminal in ONE HOUR. ONE HOUR!” and he starts to head out the door. “Wait a minute, where are you going?” you ask. “NCO business, sir,” he replies and heads out the door. NCO business… hopefully it’s not the kind of NCO business that doesn’t suddenly jump up to be “Officer business” too…

<<author’s note:  yes, I’m tying this storyline into “The Loyal Wife” one, yes I know that the plot and characters don’t match up completely, yes I’ll fix it a bit later ;)>>


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## Dame (Aug 16, 2011)

Gotta say, I like the team number.


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## CDG (Aug 16, 2011)

Mmmmmm... 18-year Glenlivet. Excellent choice sir.  I'm wondering if Paul and Chief Rollins is going to develop, or if that was just a detail included for the hell of it.....


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## Marauder06 (Aug 16, 2011)

I haven't decided if Paul is married yet or not... plus, I'm not sure there's any time to develop anything between now and when this story mercifully ends.  Then again, you never know ;)


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## moobob (Aug 17, 2011)

Chief Rollins likes to party. Score!


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## Marauder06 (Aug 17, 2011)

moobob said:


> Chief Rollins likes to party. Score!



Does she now?  Hmmm.....


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## x SF med (Aug 17, 2011)

Only one comment about the Boy Scout line....



> Marsh considers this for a second. “Sure,” he looks at Paul, “I think we should break them out.” Paul calls the team together and they pull out identical shot glasses, emblazoned with the Special Forces crest and engraved with “223,” their team number. Seeing the shot glasses, someone says “Wow, you SF guys take that “be prepared” business seriously.” “That’s the Boy Scouts, you idiot,” someone else chimes in, and everyone laughs.



One of the 2 SF guys should have noted, possibly sotto voce, "And we wear Girl Scout hats."


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## Marauder06 (Aug 18, 2011)

There is a pitcher of beer and several empty glasses on your table when you return.  Paul picks up the pitcher and pours a glass for you, Marsh, Chief Rollins, your good friend Captain Jones, and finally for himself.  You leave an empty glass to mark MSG Rush’s place so he has a place to sit when he gets back from whatever “NCO business” he dashed off to handle.  Something looks… different about Paul.  About all of the team, for that matter.  “You shaved!”  you blurt out.  Not only are they all shaved, they are back in uniform.  “Yep!” says Paul, “Relaxed grooming standards only apply in-theater, and if we were still in-theater, we couldn’t do this,” he adds, raising his beer glass and draining it.

The first pitcher is soon gone, and another is ordered.  You notice that the club is starting to fill up with Airmen and civilians from the local base.  The bartenders and waitstaff begin setting up a buffet of local food.  “Must be a damn good lunch menu,” Captain Jones says, surveying the crowd.  “More like a floor show of some type,” says Chief Rollins, noting the way the patrons tended to cluster at the tables closest to the stage.  Halfway through your second pitcher of beer, MSG Rush returns.  His face is a bit red and he seems to be breathing heavily.   “Everything OK?”  you ask.  “I took care of it,” he replies, clearly not wanting to discuss what “it” was.  You decide to let it go.  “Well, your timing is good,” you say as Paul pours MSG Rush a glass of beer, “looks like chow is served.”  “Great,” he growls, “I’m starving.”

The food is an extensive and delicious compilation of local Spanish cuisine.  As you load your plate with meat, cheese, and bread, you notice the stage being prepared for a show.  Lights are readied, the stage floor is tested… and is that a dry ice machine?  Maybe KISS is going to perform here today…

With the warmth of the beer and food warming your belly, you feel it’s an appropriate time to ask about something that’s been on your mind.  “Marsh, you lost your guys in the in Najaf the same time we lost Billy Bradley.  But that battle was three weeks ago… we sent Bradley back immediately after it happened.  Why is the Group just now getting around to sending your guys home?”

Marsh sips his beer and nods.  “During the battle for Najaf, our ODA was called out as the QRF to help out a conventional unit that had been cut off and was on the verge of being overrun.  We were running 6 vehicles, containing our full ODA and a contingent of SWAT from al-Hilla that we had been training for a while.  We made a turn down by the cemetery and ran into an ambush.  An RPG hit our lead vehicle, it got two of our guys and two Iraqis.  The second vehicle got hit too, same thing.  The gunners in both vehicles were wounded, but still in the fight.  Bradley was on the minigun in the turret of the lead vehicle.  By the time we fought our way out of the ambush and up to where the two vehicles were, everyone was dead and the Mahdi Army had run off with their corpses.”

“Why didn’t they take Bradley’s body too?”  you ask.

“Well, he was kind of… stuck in the turret when we found him,” answered Paul, taking over the storytelling.  “We had to use tools to cut him loose.  We recovered his body, but all of our guys and the SWAT indig were all missing.  We all swore that we would not come home until we got our guys back.  It took a lot of head-bashing and a little bit of cash but eventually we got them all.  Our last mission was personnel recovery for our own guys.  It looked like Bradley put up a hell of a fight before they got him.  Spent brass and blood trails everywhere.  Marsh put him in for the Silver Star.”

Recounting the story of Najaf was a bit of a buzzkill, but it was good to finally understand what happened in the battle.  An awkward silence falls over the table, broken when loud Spanish music kicks up and vapor begins pouring from the dry ice machines.  It looks like a show is about to start…


----------



## x SF med (Aug 18, 2011)

OK... what did MSG Rush have to do to Douchet?

And why did you bring Chief Rollins to a Strip Club?


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 18, 2011)

x SF med said:


> OK... what did MSG Rush have to do to Douchet?
> 
> And why did you bring Chief Rollins to a Strip Club?



My plot lines are becoming too predictable...


----------



## alibi (Aug 18, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> My plot lines are becoming too predictable...


You gotta throw something in to shake it up, like Godzilla crashing through the roof.  I don't know what that would do with "Leadership or Professional Development"....

Actually, just forget it.


----------



## Chopstick (Aug 18, 2011)

If you have Godzilla you have to have Mothra at some point as well.


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## Dame (Aug 18, 2011)

Not Godzilla. Grendel! What we need is some Beowulf action.


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## policemedic (Aug 18, 2011)

Chopstick said:


> If you have Godzilla you have to have Mothra at some point as well.



And hot Japanese chicks.


----------



## SpitfireV (Aug 18, 2011)

Guys, I can see what Mara is doing here. What she's doing is using classic misdirection. You see, we all think it's a strip club. Then she comes out and says "oh woe is me, my plots are predictable" and then BAM. Cheech Marin comes in and it turns into The Titty Twister.


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## x SF med (Aug 18, 2011)

Rodin is more in the theme of this one...

and Rodin needs to crush Douchet after we find out what stupidity he has gotten into....  Or Gort, Gort could crush Douchet, or burn him up with his lasers....


----------



## SpitfireV (Aug 18, 2011)

I disagree. I think being eaten by a vampire stripper is much more in line with the nature of the story.


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 18, 2011)

“I hope it’s not a stripper,” you mutter.  “I hope it is!” Captain Jones enthusiastically responds.  As the bartender approaches the microphone, you lean over to MSG Rush.  “What happened?”  you ask.  “NCO business, sir,” he answers.  You’re getting tired of that answer.  “What KIND of NCO business?” you ask, a bit more firmly.

“That Air Force NCO that was in here a little bit ago told me Douchet was drunk and acting stupid out on that little gondola we saw him in on the way over here.  He said something to one of the females walking by and she called the MPs.  The NCO was giving me a heads up that I might want to do something with him before he got picked up and put in the slammer.”

“So what happened?”

“I went over to him and told him to quit acting like an ass clown and come with me.  He said “make me.”  So I did,” he continues.  Dammit, you never should have left a clown like Douchet unsupervised.  “Well what the hell did you do with him?” you ask, getting up from the table.  Rush puts a hand on your arm.  “It’s all good sir, the customs office at the terminal has a little holding area, I put him in there to cool off.  The cops said they’d keep an eye on him until we came back.”  You figure you better get over there any way, but with a clash of symbols and a cloud of “smoke,” the floor show begins.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” says the bartender, microphone in hand, “I present to you, the jewel of the Spanish crown, the lovely Esmerelda!”  Esmerelda takes the stage in a billowing red dress, with a halter top cut to reveal a sleek and well-toned midriff, bare arms, and a generous helping of bosom.   Clutching a black and red scarf in both hands, she launches into belly-dancing routine that draws strongly from both Arabic and Spanish cultures.  Her routine is quite impressive, and between her gyrations and the beer, you completely forget about Douchet for a minute.  






Esmerelda’s dance ends to thunderous applause.  Remembering Douchet, you pat MSG Rush on the arm and point towards the door.  He glances at his watch at jumps up- it’s almost time for manifest!  Rush whistles loudly and circles his hand over his head.  The members of your flight tumble out of the club, in a hurry to make it back to the terminal in time for the manifest call.  Fortunately the terminal was directly across the street from the club.  As roll is called, everyone is present- except Douchet, and MSG Rush doesn’t seem to concerned about it.  After the last name is called, you notice Rush clutching his stomach.  “What’s the matter, Douchet didn’t kick your ass, did he?”  you joke.  Rush doesn’t look like he’s in a joking mood.  “I think it’s the food.  I feel really sick,” he says.  “Maybe you shouldn’t have eaten four plates worth of the local food and drunk half a pitcher of beer,” you tease back.  While the Air Force brings the buses around, you and Rush go to get Douchet.  He’s in the terminal security’s office, sleeping on a bench under the watchful eye of one of the Security Forces.  “No problem,” the guard says when you thank him and leave with a drowsy but otherwise pretty cooperative Douchet.  

Waiting for the bus outside in the sun, you notice how hot it is.  A lot of other people are looking a but uncomfortable too.  Fortunately, you don’t have to wait for long.  The Air Force buses pull up and your flight begins to load, for what will hopefully be the last leg of a very long trip.  As your Soldiers board, you give each of them two of the Ambien from the bottle Doc Cho gave you before you left Iraq.  Most Soldiers pop the pills as they get on the bus.  You see MSG Rush putting his into a pocket.  “Not going to take your pills?” you ask him.  “I want to make sure we’re good before I pop these.  They put me out like a light,” he responds.  “Look, it’s a five-minute flight to the aircraft and the medicine won’t kick in until at least a half-hour after we’re in the air,” you counter.  MSG Rush looks pale and sweaty.  “You’re not looking so good brother,” you continue, “ a little sleep might be just what the doctor ordered.”  Convinced, MSG Rush downs his Ambien as the buses approach the plane that will FINALLY take you home.


----------



## 0699 (Aug 19, 2011)

Never take the Ambien until you are SURE the C-5 flight is GTG...


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 19, 2011)

Oh sure, NOW you tell me ;)


----------



## x SF med (Aug 19, 2011)

Somebody has food poisoning or apendicitis...  hope you have good medical support on your flight.

Leave Douchet in jail.


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## Dame (Aug 19, 2011)

x SF med said:


> Somebody has food poisoning or apendicitis... hope you have good medical support on your flight.
> Leave Douchet in jail.


Somebody or everybody.


----------



## Swashbuckler (Aug 19, 2011)

Dame said:


> Somebody or _everybody_.


Dun dun dun...


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## Marauder06 (Aug 19, 2011)

x SF med said:


> Somebody has food poisoning or apendicitis... hope you have good medical support on your flight.
> ...



Yeah, I hope so too.  Maybe the ODA has a competent 18D onboard.



Dame said:


> Somebody or everybody.



That sure would suck, wouldn't it?



Swashbuckler said:


> Dun dun dun...


:)


----------



## LibraryLady (Aug 19, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> :)



Tease

LL


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 19, 2011)

LibraryLady said:


> Tease
> 
> LL



I prefer to think of it as "creating suspense."  :)

The good news is, this story is almost over.


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## LibraryLady (Aug 19, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> I prefer to think of it as "creating suspense." :)...



Tomato Tomahto

LL


----------



## x SF med (Aug 19, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> I prefer to think of it as "creating suspense." :)
> 
> The good news is, this story is almost over.



I'm waiting for the snakes to crawl out of the pallets - medical emergencies and venomous snakes, armed So-Jahs!, Douchet in restraints....  this could get kewl...  maybe somebody could spontaneously immolate or explode...:eek::-"


----------



## Swashbuckler (Aug 19, 2011)

x SF med said:


> I'm waiting for the snakes to crawl out of the pallets - medical emergencies and venomous snakes, armed So-Jahs!, Douchet in restraints.... this could get kewl... maybe somebody could spontaneously immolate or explode...:eek::-"


 Carry on


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 19, 2011)

The confined quarters of the bus, combined with the heat and the overpowering smell of jet fuel, are enough to make you a bit nauseous. You come to a halt a short distance away from the C5, and an Airman wearing a yellow reflective belt over his shoulder and carrying a handheld radio gets onboard. He makes an announcement that the plane is finishing fueling and you’ll board shortly. As he departs, you notice a Soldier walk down the lowered ramp of the plane and wave in the general direction of the buses. This must be “JB,” the ODA team member who was left behind to watch the “cargo” in the plane. An arm extends from a lowered window in one of the other buses, and a middle finger goes up. JB sees it, smiles, then, turns and disappears back into the plane.

It sure is taking a long time to fuel up this airplane… if this goes on much longer, the pleasant buzz you have from the Scotch and beer is going to wear off, and you’re going to need to take that Ambien after all. The heat is becoming oppressive. Even with the engine running and the air conditioning on full-blast, the bus is like an oven. Despite repeated requests from the passengers, the drivers will neither return to the terminal nor let anyone off the bus. Apparently there is a fuel spill; the reasoning is that it’s too dangerous to allow people off because there might be a fire, but you can’t go back to the terminal because they might get it cleaned up shortly and you’ll need to be on your way so another aircraft can land.

The minutes tick by slowly, and you begin to feel more and more queasy. The only person who seems unconcerned about the heat is MSG Rush, who has somehow managed to fall fast asleep. You decide to give it five more minutes before you “strongly urge” the drivers to take you back to the terminal. That’s when it starts...


----------



## Swashbuckler (Aug 19, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> That’s when it starts...


 
Ellipsis? ELLIPSIS?!?!


----------



## LibraryLady (Aug 19, 2011)

Swashbuckler said:


> Ellipsis? ELLIPSIS?!?!



He's an ossifer... what do you expect?  

LL


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

From the back of your bus, you here someone say, “I think I’m going to be sick.”  As you turn to see what’s happening, a Soldier in the back of the bus lunges across  a seat and hurls a stream of vomit out the window and onto the tarmac.  Most of it, at least.  Some of it ricochets off of the window and onto a person in the seat next to him.  This causes that unfortunate individual to throw up as well, and the sight and sound of the vomiting from the back of the bus, combined with the heat and smell already present, causes a chain reaction of vomiting up and down the bus.  This causes an unstoppable stampede of people off the bus and onto the tarmac, where the vomiting continues a bit before tapering off.  You feel your mouth watering uncontrollably, which you know is a precursor to you losing your lunch, but you manage to keep everything down.  Thinking it was time to board the plane, the other buses began disgorging their riders when they saw you getting off.  As everyone stands around looking at you expectantly, you tell the driver that unless he wants to clean up three inches of projectile vomit from inside his bus, he’ll either let you guys on the plane, or take you back to the terminal.  After a brief discussion with his supervisor over the radio, the decision is made to return all of you to the terminal.  As you board the bus, Paul waves to get your attention.  He indicates himself and his team,  and then point towards the aircraft.  If he wants his guys to stay out here and bake on the tarmac, fine.  That's eight fewer people you have to worry about before the plane takes off.

Several people stood in the  center aisle on the drive back to the terminal in order to avoid the splattered vomit.  When the bus pulls in to let you out, you realize that someone is going to need to clean this mess up.  That’s when you notice that MSG Rush has slept through the whole thing.  That’s fine, you’ll grab the nearest NCO and ask him to organize a detail to get all the puke cleaned up.  Looks like the nearest NCO is… you look around… SGT Douchet.  Oh HELL no.  That’s cool, just think what would an NCO do in this kind of situation?

“Listen up!”you shout over the noise of the bus engine.  “If you puked on this bus, go get some paper towels and some water out of the restroom, and clean this shit up!  You know who you are.  Oh, and someone find some air freshener or something.”  That ought to do it.  

SPC DeSilva helps MSG Rush off the bus and into a chair at the terminal.  A young troop dressed in an Air Force uniform approaches and informs you that the fuel spill is a bit more serious that first thought, and it will be at least an hour before you can board the plane.  You ask for and are led to an office with an international phone so you can call back to Iraq and to your home station to let them know you’ve been delayed- again.  When you get back, you notice something… odd.  There are not nearly as many people in the terminal as there should be. Wait a minute, where the hell is Douchet?  For that matter, where is hell is… everyone???


----------



## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

You relax a bit when you realize that everyone not in the terminal is probably out helping clean the buses.  It’s good to see some initative and teamwork, hell even Douchet is probably pitching in.  Maybe you were wrong about him.  You look for your friend CPT Jones, but he’s nowhere to be found.  Nor are any of your warrant officers around.  In fact, other than a couple of very junior NCOs, there are no leaders to be found anywhere.  Even MSG Rush is gone.  Not seeing your warrant officers makes you feel a little suspicious.  They’re great at their jobs, but you don’t think any of them would willingly get their hands dirty doing something like cleaning puke off of a bus floor, especially if they didn’t contribute to the mess in the first place.   

Just about the time you start getting worried, you see a group of people returning from the buses.  SPC DeSilva approaches, clutching an armful of cleaning supplies.   You look for but do not see MSG Rush, your warrant officers, or anyone over the rank of E5.  “All done sir, everything cleaned up and smelling nice.  Well, ‘nice-er,’ at least,” he says, smiling.  That’s a good troop, DeSilva.  Deserves to be wearing sergeant’s chevrons far more than a lot of people who currently have them, including Douchet.  Hm, maybe you can talk the Group CSM into swapping their ranks when you all get back, you muse.

“Great job DeSilva, where is everyone else?” you ask.  DeSilva looks away, you’re clearly not going to like what he has to say.  “Come on, out with it.”

“I don’t know sir, but I heard CPT Jones and Chief Rollins say something about going back over to the club.  “That figures,” you sigh loudly.  

 “What about MSG Rush?” you enquire.  “ Surely he didn’t go back over to the club too?”

“Sir, last I saw him was when we were getting up to clean the buses , he woke up and said he needed to pee.  I got him pointed in the right direction, and last I saw him he was kind of staggering off in that direction,” DeSilva points towards the restrooms.  That was… 20 minutes or so ago you figure, glancing at your watch.  Poor guy probably fell asleep on the crapper.

Just as you’re about to walk down to the rest room and rescue MSG Rush,  a page over the terminal intercom asks you to report to the information desk.  “Look,” you say to DeSilva, “Please go over to the club and tell all of those clowns to get back over here RIGHT f-ing NOW!  The last thing I need is a bunch of drunk Soldiers staggering around and passing out once the Ambien kicks in.  When you get back, make sure MSG Rush made it out of the bathroom.  I’m going to go find out what’s going on, and I’ll meet all of you back here.”  

DeSilva moves out smartly and you find your way to the phone.  A decidedly unfriendly voice at the other end summons you to airfield commander’s office.  This can’t be good.  Hopefully it’s just the commander telling you that you and your Soldiers are going to be stuck here overnight.  You check in with the commander’s secretary and wait in the anteroom outside the commander’s office. Judging by all the yelling going on behind the closed door, whatever is going on in there, someone is NOT happy.  

The door abruptly opens, and a vaguely familiar Air Force NCO emerges, shutting the door quickly behind him.  It takes you a second, but you recognize him as the guy who came to the club to tell MSG Rush about Douchet.  “Hey staff sergeant,” you say, “what happened?”  it would be a lot better for you to go in there to face the colonel if you know what you’re about to get your ass chewed over.

“Oh sir,” he says, looking almost pale, “One of your NCOs got really drunk and went into one of the office cubicles, pulled out his junk, and peed all over someone’s keyboard.”  Dumbfounded, all you can say is, “What?”  “Yes sir,” he continues, “and the colonel is PISSED.  You better go in there right now.”  Steaming mad, you know that there is only one person in your unit DUMB enough to get drunk and pee all over someone else’s office.  So that explains what happened to Douchet.  But where was MSG Rush?  Taking a deep breath, you open the door and prepare to take the music…


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## Swashbuckler (Aug 20, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> “One of your NCOs got really drunk and went into one of the office cubicles, pulled out his junk, and peed all over someone’s keyboard.”


:eek::eek:







Thank you for giving up Saturday morning cartoons to continue the story.


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## Dame (Aug 20, 2011)

Oh no. It was Rush.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

Dame said:


> Oh no. It was Rush.



Dame off the top rope with the spoiler! ;) well done.

/////

When you open the door, you’re relieved to see MSG Rush seated with his back to you in a chair in front of the colonel’s desk. Since Douchet is absent, you assume he’s probably back in the cooling tank that they put him in the first time he got in trouble. The colonel, whose name tape reads “Stack,” is standing. And he is, as advertised, PISSED. You extend your hand, which he ignores, choosing instead to immediately launch into a tirade that is a bit hard to follow but includes a lot of “yes, sir” and “no, sir” from you at the appropriate places. When he’s done, you apologize profusely. “Sir, what happened is inexcusable. I assure you that I will take appropriate action, including UCMJ, to address this issue. If you want to point me to where you’re keeping the guy who did this, my NCOIC and I will get this all straightened out.”

The colonel looks at you, his face an odd combination of rage incredulity. “What are you talking about?” he asks.

“The guy who did this, sir,” you respond, “Douchet.”

“Captain, the ‘guy who did this’ is sitting right there!” he bellows, pointing at MSG Rush. That can’t be right. MSG Rush had quite a bit to drink in the club, but no more than any of the rest of you. Then you understand. It is likely that MSG Rush has had a bad reaction to the Ambien. It’s likely that he’s in a kind of sleepwalking state right now, and has no idea what he’s doing. He looks stoned out of his mind. Was it one pill or two that Doc Cho told you to hand out? One? How many did MSG Rush take, two? Twice the dose… no wonder things went bad. Then something really disconcerning crosses your mind. If this happened to a squared-away NCO like MSG Rush, what is going to happen to the rest of your guys, the ones who are partying it up at the club? You hope DeSilva managed to get everyone back here before someone else did something stupid.

“Both of you, come with me,” Stack snaps. You help MSG Rush to his feet and follow the colonel down a hallway to the “scene of the crime,” an office directly across the hall from the restroom. While groggy, MSG Rush is still able to move under his own power at a decent pace, which is fortunate because he’s kind of big. “What were you thinking?” you hiss at Rush, as you make your way down the hallway. “I had to pee,” he mutters back, incoherently.

COL Stack bursts into an office, and the door closely automatically behind him before you and MSG Rush can follow him in. A sign on the door reads, “Back after lunch.” When you open the door and enter, you see a small office lined with cubicles on the right and left. Well, the way the cubicles are configured, they do kind of look like urinals. And the office’s proximity to the restroom… COL Stack looks confused. Apparently he wanted to confront you with the evidence of what had transpired, but if anyone had pissed all over a desk in this office, there is no evidence of it. All of the desktops are pristine, and even the air smells nice. The carpet is a very dark indoor/outdoor type, and even if their were stains, you can’t see them. Stack stares at you, and you look back. It now appears that some of his anger is replaced by a bit of embarrassment. Whatever he wanted to do in this office, he feels like he can’t do it now. “Your buses will be back in 20 minutes, you and your people are going to wait on the tarmac until your plane takes off. If there are any more incidents of any type between now and the time your flight leaves, I’m going to ground the plane and you’re all going to be staying here until the next flight leaves, which isn’t until Monday. Now get out of my sight!” Relieved, you get MSG Rush turned around and moving towards the terminal. You need to get everyone out of this terminal NOW. “Oh, and captain,” COL Stack says menacingly as you walk away, “I want to see you in my office before you depart my terminal.”


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## CDG (Aug 20, 2011)

Nicely played by the other enlisted soldiers.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

Yep; good looking out. ;)

You get MSG Rush seated in a chair and see DeSilva standing nearby, a big smile on his face.  “Where the hell is everyone?” you growl, grumpily.  “Didn’t I send you over to the club 15 minutes ago?”  DeSilva’s smile evaporates.  “Sorry sir, something came up and I had to take care of it right away,” he mutters.  You notice Douchet standing beside him.  “Where the fuck have you been??” before Douchet can answer, DeSliva chimes in, “He was with me sir.  I needed him to help me with something.”

“You needed him to help you with something that was more important than doing what I told you to do?  Got to do every f-ing thing around myself,” you snap.  “Tell you what, stay here and make sure no one else wanders off.  And if anyone has to pee, tell them it’s down that hallway, first door on the LEFT, not the RIGHT,” and you stomp off towards the club.

By the time you get to the club, you are in a completely foul mood.  Everything is going wrong, and people you have counted on for months are letting you down, on the last day before you return home.  Loud music and cheering emanate from the closed doors of the all-ranks club, and just before you fling the doors open, you think there is nothing that can put you in a worse mood than the one you’re in right now.


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## CDG (Aug 20, 2011)

The last sentence leads me to believe that there is indeed something that can put the CPT in a worse mood..... Perhaps the combination of booze and Ambien has turned Chief Rollins into the aforementioned stripper?


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## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

CDG said:


> The last sentence leads me to believe that there is indeed something that can put the CPT in a worse mood..... Perhaps the combination of booze and Ambien has turned Chief Rollins into the aforementioned stripper?



Maybe... ;)

/////

That’s before you throw open the door to the club and see Chief Rollins up on stage with Esmerelda.  Rollins has taken her uniform top off and turned her brown t-shirt into a halter top by running the hem of the front of her shirt down through the neck and pulling it between her breasts.  If the condition of her torso is any indication, Chief Rollins has been working out since she was in Iraq- working out a lot.  She is holding the arms of her uniform top out in front of her, doing a pretty fair imitation of Esmerelda as the latter does her scarf-dancing routine.  First Esmerelda would do a step, and wait for Chief Rollins to imitate.  Both women seem to be enjoying themselves enormously, and, judging from the cheering, the crowd is enjoying the show as well.


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## Dame (Aug 20, 2011)

Oh now, c'mon. You just can't bust Rollins for making sure everyone is entertained and out of trouble. She's even dressed. That's just innocent fun, that is.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

Dame said:


> Oh now, c'mon. You just can't bust Rollins for making sure everyone is entertained and out of trouble. She's even dressed. That's just innocent fun, that is.



Tell that to the Sergeant Major when we get home on Monday ;)

/////

It takes a minute for your brain to absorb that yes, this is actually happening; you CI warrant officer is actually on stage doing a routine with a Spanish stripper. Dancer. Whatever. With the one dancing and then the other imitating, it reminds you of “Dueling Banjos” only… with breasts. This would probably be comical if it wasn’t for the fact that she was an officer, and one of your officers on top of that. “This can’t be happening,” you think as you storm over to the stage. You reach the stage floor as the routine ends and the crowd erupts in raucous applause. Chief Rollins has a huge smile on her face, right up to the point where you grab her by the arm and say in a voice loud enough to be heard above the din, “Have you lost. Your. God. Damned. MIND????”

“What?” she protests, “I was only having a good time!”

“Yes, you were having a good time on stage with Esmerelda, the Spanish stripper! What the hell are you thinking!”

“Hey,” a new voice chimes in, “Let me tell you something,” a small but firm hand grabs your arm and spins you around. You are now face to face with Esmerelda, who is surprisingly tall for a dancer. She heard you call her a stripper, you’re definitely in for it now. “I am NOT,” she exclaims emphatically, “Spanish. I’m Portuguese. And my real name is Teresa, Esmerelda is only my stage name.” Whether a lack of denial about being a stripper was deliberate or an oversight, you don’t know. All you can think of to say is, “Noted.” You pull Chief Rollins’ shirt back down and toss her uniform top at her before nudging her towards the door. The crowd begins to boo loudly, and it seems like they’re blocking the exit.

By now the booing is getting louder, and no one seems to be in a hurry to let you and Chief Rollins too. You notice that some of the booing is coming from your own troops. This is really the last straw. Grabbing a microphone from the stage, you shout as loud as you can, “EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY. IF YOU WORK FOR ME, OUR PLANE LEAVES IN 15 MINUTES, AND IF YOU’RE NOT AT MANIFEST CALL BEFORE THEN, I WILL FUCKING LEAVE YOUR ASS HERE!!!” As it turns out, the microphone wasn’t even on, but you were loud enough and assertive enough to get to the point across. The crowd parts a bit and you and your Soldiers are able to elbow your way through to the door. “Dick” someone calls out to you as you make your way through, and some other wag jostles you with a shoulder. You resist the urge to punch him straight in the throat.


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## Chopstick (Aug 20, 2011)

I didnt know your name was Richard.


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## moobob (Aug 20, 2011)

I knew Chief Rollins liked to party.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 20, 2011)

Chopstick said:


> I didnt know your name was Richard.



I'm sure he meant it as a term of endearment.  At least he didn't call me a pogue. ;)



moobob said:


> I knew Chief Rollins liked to party.



She didn't, until you guys suggested it.

/////

Once you’re sure you have everyone, you start loading them on the buses to take them to your plane- again.  This time, you wisely decide not to hand out any Ambien, although several of your troops are showing the effects of the drug.  While you’re waiting for the buses to load, you have a chance to talk to DeSilva.  You’re still pretty pissed off at him for not going and getting everyone when you told him too.  Maybe if he had, Chief Rollins wouldn’t have become part of the floor show.  “So what was so important that you and Douchet had to run off together?” you ask.

“Well sir, there was an accident that needed to be taken care of, and there weren’t really any other NCOs around, so Douchet and I went and did it,” he replies evasively.

“What kind of accident?” you press.

“You see, what had happened was, someone got a little confused about what side of the hallway the bathrooms were on, and you know those little cubicle thingies, if you look at them just right, they kind of look like pissers.  So someone got a little confused and had an accident on someone’s desk.  The Air Force guys didn’t take that very well, and I wanted to make sure no one made a big deal of it, because sir, it really wasn’t a big deal.”

“You cleaned up after MSG Rush, didn’t you?” you ask.

“Well sir, I’m not saying who did or didn’t do anything-“

“Relax DeSilva, I’m not asking you to snitch, I already know what happened, in fact I already got my ass chewed by the colonel for it,” you say, calmingly.  DeSilva looks enormously relieved.

“Sir, you should have seen that place, pee everywhere!  I think MSG Rush must have been holding it all day, to build that much up.  You should have seen the faces of those Air Force guys.  Fortunately, MSG Rush picked a desk where no one was currently working in,” he gushes.

“But how did you get everything cleaned up so well?” you enquire.

“Well, I was on my way to put away the cleaning supplies we used on the buses when I heard some screaming coming from the office across from the restroom.  I opened the door, and there was MSG Rush, giving a golden shower to a keyboard.  There were a couple of people working in the office at the time, they kind of figured it was a good time to go to lunch, so I got some guys together and we got it cleaned up as best we could.”

“But how did you get the keyboard so clean?” you ask incredulously.

“Clean it?  Are you kidding me?” he responds.  That thing was BEYOND disgusting. I replaced it with a keyboard from another office and pitched the old one into the dumpster once we were done cleaning up.”

“How did you dry the floor?”

“Oh, the floor’s not really that dry, it’s just so dark you can’t tell where it’s wet unless you really look at it,” he answers.  “We got up what we could, but it’s going to smell VERY bad in there on Monday morning.

“You know, you really helped us all out on this one,” you tell him.  “DeSilva, I’m putting you in for a medal when we get back home,” you joke.

He looks at you slyly, “I’d settle for a four-day pass,” he says.  You are notoriously stingy about giving out passes, since most of your Soldiers are carrying use-or-lose leave.

“Done.”

As the buses prepare to pull away from the terminal, you feel your mood improving.  As bad as things got there for a while, no one got hurt, nothing got broken (well, nothing important anyway) and you’ll all soon be on your way home.  Yet you can’t shake that nagging feeling that you’re forgetting something.


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## Dame (Aug 20, 2011)

Well, you forgot to go see the Colonel.

AND... You simply cannot do anything to Rollins. YOU drugged her.


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## moobob (Aug 20, 2011)

Our hero finally takes his Ambien and Douchet enters his dream, performs an inception, and Captain Faith forgets what happened.

Chief Rollins poses for Hustler and gets kicked out of the service.


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## Servimus (Aug 21, 2011)

Where are the SF dudes during all of this?

BTW- This:


Marauder06 said:


> With the one dancing and then the other imitating, it reminds you of “Dueling Banjos” only… with breasts.


Sounds absolutely amazing.


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## Dame (Aug 21, 2011)

Servimus said:


> Where are the SF dudes during all of this?


Didn't they already load back up before the buses went back to the terminal?


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## Servimus (Aug 21, 2011)

Dame said:


> Didn't they already load back up before the buses went back to the terminal?


Ehhh.... You're probably right about that. Apologies.

I was so overwhelmed that Marauder posted so many updates that I might have skipped something. :)


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## Dame (Aug 21, 2011)

Servimus said:


> Ehhh.... You're probably right about that. Apologies.
> 
> I was so overwhelmed that Marauder posted so many updates that I might have skipped something. :)


Hey, I could be wrong. That could be what he _wants_ us to think. Not sure anyone _saw_ them getting on the plane.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 21, 2011)

Servimus said:


> I was so overwhelmed that Marauder posted so many updates that I might have skipped something. :)



:) School starts tomorrow and I want to get this wrapped up before it goes on for months like #2 did. I should be completely finished before I go to bed tonight.



Dame said:


> Hey, I could be wrong. That could be what he _wants_ us to think. Not sure anyone _saw_ them getting on the plane.



No tricks this time, ;) they got off the bus the first time you went out to the plane, and they're still there. Well, as far as anyone knows they're still there.  That team sergeant of theirs is pretty sketchy, maybe they got tired of waiting and hijacked the plane!

/////

The “thing” that you’re forgetting bursts from the terminal doors just before the buses depart to take you to the plane. Oh crap, you think as COL Stack board the first bus. He’s obviously looking for you. You get up to go meet him, but pause when you see Stack emerge from the first bus with CPT Jones following close behind. Through the windshield, Jones sees you and raises one hand in a subtle “I’ve got this” gesture. Stack yells for at least a full minute at Jones, who is standing at stark attention in front of him. When he’s done, Jones makes a short reply, and then pulls out a small notebook and writes something down and hands it to the colonel. Stack looks at it, says something else, and Jones salutes smartly. The colonel turns without returning the salute and disappears back into the terminal. Jones lowers his arm and gives you a wink before he steps up in to the bus. Whatever just happened, can’t be good. Jones is a good friend and has many redeeming qualities, but dealing with authority isn’t one of them. You wonder what he did that made COL Stack come after him directly. Oh well, whatever it was, it made Stack completely forget about you.

You go straight from the buses to the plane. MSG Rush seems to have recovered a bit, but isn’t quite his usual self.  You manage to account for everyone- even Douchet- and all eight members of the ODA are present.  Paul approaches as you look over the manifest paperwork one more time.  “Everything good sir?” he asks.  “Well, we can take off, but we’re definitely not  ‘good.’”  Paul, not having the slightest idea what you’re talking about, gives you a perplexed look.  

“We had a bad day today, starting with some guys puking in the bus, and kind of went downhill from there,” you explain.

Paul laughs, “Your guys too?  That’s why I got my guys off the buses and back into the plane, two of them said they were about to blow chow and I didn’t want them doing it in front of all the support guys.  I thought that had too much to drink, but I started feeling a little queasy too.  I think it was the food.  We got everyone hooked up to some IVs and I think we’re going to be ok.”

“Yeah, the food, the beer, the heat, and the Ambien-” you start

“You gave a bunch of drunk Soldiers Ambien?” Paul asks, “Before the plane took off?  Sir, that’s a rookie mistake.”

“Yeah, maybe I should have just given them one instead of the two-“

“You gave them TWO pills?  Sir, two pills of that size are enough to put some of these guys into a coma for the duration of the flight!  Plus, there’s no telling what kind of reaction they’re going to have with the combination of alcohol and Ambien.  Didn’t you read the bottle before handing it out?”

Sure enough, the bottle specifies one pill, and states in bold letters, “DO NOT TAKE WITH ALCOHOL.”  Oh well, live and learn.

Paul smiles, “Well, it’s all good now I guess, everyone is on board with all their stuff, and now we all get to go home.

“I suppose,” you say, not looking forward to explaining  to the Group commander what happened on your watch as mission commander for this flight.


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## Swashbuckler (Aug 21, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> “I suppose,” you say, not looking forward to explaining to the Group commander what happened on your watch as mission commander for this flight.


Ruh roh... :eek:


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## Marauder06 (Aug 21, 2011)

Shuffling through the aisle to his seat, CPT Jones catches Paul’s attention. “Hey Paul, you left at the wrong time, you should have seen the second show at the club!” he exclaims, giving an enthusiastic thumbs up. Chief Rollins, directly behind him, says nothing and looks a bit embarrassed. Jones has absolutely no tact, it’s amazing that he has made it this far in the Army. Jones plops down into the seat beside you with a huge grin on his face. Clearly, he wants you to ask what happened back at the terminal with Stack.

“OK, spill it, what happened back at the terminal with COL Stack,” you urge.

“Oh, that little thing?” replies Jones, very clearly pleased with himself, “That was nothing. I was sitting on the bus, flirting with the bus driver and minding my own business like a good captain, when this pissed off colonel suddenly jumps on the bus demanding ‘Where is that damned captain?’ Well, usually when someone is looking for a ‘damned captain’ they’re looking for me, and since I’m the only captain on the bus, he must be talking to me, right? So we get off the bus and he starts going off about something that happened in the terminal. It takes me a minute, but eventually I figure out he’s thinks I’m you! Did you really pee all over the keyboard in his office?” Jones seems impressed.

“It wasn’t his office, and it wasn’t me,” you declare emphatically. “Give me the reader’s digest version, what happened next?”

“Well, since he thought I was you, I did what I thought you would do. I stood at attention, said ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’ a lot, and then when he asked for it, I gave him a totally fictitious name and contact information for our Group commander.”

“You did WHAT?” you ask, stunned, “And what do you mean, ‘what I would have done,’ I never would have given a colonel a fake name.”

“Yeah, you’re right, that was me being me again. Besides, I was already wearing pseudo nametapes and to give him your- I mean my real name would have looked… irregular.” You’re almost afraid to look and see what name CPT Jones is wearing. In Iraq, he worked with detainees so he was one of the only support guys authorized Velcro-backed nametapes on his DCUs. He took full advantage of it, coming up with a variety of… ‘colorful’ names for himself. As if that weren’t enough, he would amuse himself and the other members of the detachment by swapping out fake names on the unattended uniform blouses of other members of the Group. You, for example, were captain “Obvious” for half a day before you noticed the snickers and funny looks, and the Group S2 was major “Confusion” until his next laundry day. CPT Jones’ name-swapping came to an abrupt halt after he found the Group sergeant major’s blouse unattended in the JOC and replaced his name- Bear- with the name ‘Care.’ The sergeant major, unamused by being “Care Bear,” ensured that such incidents would not be repeated by the young captain in the future.

With CPT Jones’ past antics in mind, you look down at his uniform. The tape over his right breast pocket, which should read JONES, instead reads, RICK JAMES. The one over his left breast pocket, which should read U.S. ARMY, reads BITCH. “Please tell me you weren’t wearing those when COL Stack thought you were me.”

“Yep, afraid so,” he confirms. I don’t think he looked past my last name though.

“He didn’t think it was odd that you had two last names?” you say in disbelief.

“I think the good colonel thinks pretty much everything about us is odd,” he responds. “I’m just glad he didn’t notice this one,” he points to the tape over his left breast pocket.

“But why did you do it? I thought you hung up the name-swapping months ago,” you say, despairingly.

“Because I’m Rick James, bitch!” CPT Jones exclaims loudly, doing his best Dave Chappelle imitation. Soldiers in the seats around you laugh out loud. 

<<for those of you unfamiliar with Dave Chappelle's "Rick James" skit:>>





“Relax,” Jones continues, “I gave him my office number as the number for the Group commander and told him no one would be in until Monday. So when Colonel Stack calls for Colonel Enema on Monday to complain about Captain Rick James, I’ll be the one to take the call.”

“Do you think that will make things better, or worse?” you ask incredulously.

Jones shrugs, becoming bored with the conversation, then turns around in his seat to get a better look at the row behind him. “So Paul, let me tell you about your girl Chief Rollins at the club a little while ago…”


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## Dame (Aug 21, 2011)

Is it wrong that I think Cpt Jones is cool? :cool:


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## Marauder06 (Aug 21, 2011)

Dame said:


> Is it wrong that I think Cpt Jones is cool? :cool:



Chicks dig him.  ;)

It is an enormous relief to you when the plane finally takes off.  There isn’t much conversation, most of the people who are awake are listening to music or watching DVDs on their laptops.  CPT Jones, Chief Rollins, Paul from the ODA, and another of your Soldiers are engaged in a game of Hearts.  They are making a lot of noise but don’t seem to be bothering anyone around them.  You feel terribly fatigued, but can’t fall asleep; too much is running through your mind.  You take out the bottle of Ambien, look at it for a minute, and put it away.  It has caused enough trouble already.

Eventually you doze off and are aroused from a deep slumber by a loud commotion and… the smell of smoke?  You’re instantly awake and standing.  An alarm is going off inside the aircraft, and all of the air masks have deployed, dangling like spiders at the end of  their plastic threads.  The cabin is not filled with smoke, but you can definitely smell it.  And whatever caused the problem, it was significant enough to set of the plane’s smoke detector.

You fight your way through a small knot of struggling bodies to find CPT Jones and SGT Douchet grappling on the floor.  From what you can understand, when Douchet wanted to play cards and Jones declined, Douchet decided to retaliate by setting fire to Jones’ uniform cap.  The result was a big, smoldering, stinking mess.  You separate Jones and Douchet, who smells like he has been drinking again; he must have brought something with him in-flight.  Jones smells pretty much the same.  Paul says, “I’ll take care of this, sir,” and disappears towards the back of the airplane with Douchet.

The alarm and the deployed air masks bring a lot of unwanted attention.  One of the C5 crew chiefs and an officer of the flight crew confront you about what happened.  Despite your assurances that you have the situation in order, they are making a big deal out of the situation.  The crew chief notices something on the ground and retrieves CPT Jones’ charred patrol cap and a nearly-empty pint bottle of Southern Comfort.  This isn’t going to go over well with the Group chain of command, either.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 21, 2011)

<<author’s note: if this bit sounds familiar, it’s because I lifted it pretty much directly from Case Study #2>>

After spending every waking moment of the flight from Europe to home station contemplating how many bars you are going to lose from your collar once the Group commander finds out about what happened, you and the company arrive at home station. After a mercifully brief customs inspection, the company was released to the flock of families and well-wishers that congregated at the flight line. At a predesignated time, all of the Soldiers returned to the buses that were waiting to take them to the Group garrison area. After a sensitive items inventory and a final manifest check, everyone was released on a two-day pass. A few days of post-redeployment activities after that, and the unit will be released for block leave. 

 The day after you get back though, there’s a very conspicuous email in your inbox from the Group Deputy Commanding Officer (DCO). In the “subject” line of the email, it says only, “See me. Now.” There are no words in the body of the email. You know immediately what this is about- the series of incidents that your First Sergeant has taken to calling “Soul Plane,” and CPT Jones refers to as “Terminalgate.” 

 Stories about the DCO’s combat valor and leadership abilities are as famous within the Group as his ass-chewing ability. For an officer, having to go see the DCO when you know you’ve screwed something up is just as bad as having to go see the Group CSM for enlisted and NCOs. Sitting at your office, you try to mentally prepare yourself for what you know is coming. The worst part is the uncertainty. You’ve had several dealings with the DCO in the past, which have up to this point been very cordial. You wonder what’s going to happen when you walk into the DCO’s office on your own.

 Although you don’t tell anyone about the DCO’s email and your pending ass chewing, First Sergeant finds out somehow and insists on coming with you, even though he had nothing to do with what happened in Europe, and wasn’t even on the flight, having come back on the advance party to make the arrangements for Bradley’s memorial ceremony, which is scheduled to occur the day after the Group returns from block leave..

 On the way over to the DCO’s office, your mind races. The things that happened in Europe were pretty bad. Some of them were downright comical- at least they are in hindsight. 

 So what’s it going to be? A counseling statement, a letter of reprimand… surely not a relief for cause? Although you personally had no involvement in any of the incidents that happened, as the senior officer present and the trip lead, you were responsible. Your name is on the blame line.

 You are very grateful that First Sergeant is coming with you and you don’t have to face the wrath of the DCO on your own. First Sergeant doesn’t seem nearly as concerned about this as you are. Whereas you are taking your time walking through the Group Headquarters building and getting to the DCO’s office, First Sergeant seems almost… enthusiastic. 

“Come on sir, it’s not gonna be that bad. Worst that can happen is that he’ll shitcan you on the spot and send you back to Mother Green.” (the conventional Army). Somehow, that doesn’t seem very reassuring to you but it brings a smile to your face to hear it nonetheless.

 Arriving outside the DCO’s office, you take a deep breath and pound twice on the door. He instructs you to enter. He returns your salutes but does not instruct you to relax from the position of attention. He also does not move to close the door, which means everyone in the building is about to hear you get your ass chewed.

 The DCO cocks his head to the side and looks at First Sergeant. He asks rhetorically why you brought your first sergeant with you when the email specified for you to come alone. He tells First Sergeant to leave. First Sergeant refuses. To your enormous relief the DCO decides to let both of you get your asses chewed together.

 The DCO likes to punctuate the highlights of his little talk with you by gesturing with his right index finger. The only problem is, he lost most of that finger in Afghanistan, and can only point with the nub. In fact, his nickname within the Group is “Frodo,” because he’s short, hairy, and only has nine fingers. You remember hearing that the DCO is extremely sensitive about the finger, which is why it’s curious to you that he keeps sticking it in your face while he’s talking. When he sticks that finger in your face to make a point, it’s all you can do not to stare at it. 

 Although it’s over relatively soon, you know that this is the worst ass chewing you ever received in your life. When he’s done with you, the DCO launches into the First Sergeant. The DCO wonders loudly how any First Sergeant could allow his CO to be so fucked up. He inquires what kind of First Sergeant has the type of company where discipline could break down so easily. He does everything he can, but First Sergeant refuses to be rattled, answering only with “yes sir,” “no sir,” or “I don’t know, sir.” 

 Eventually, the ass chewing is over and you are both kicked out of the office. You’re not certain, but you’re pretty sure that you get to keep your job, so long as there are no more repeats of Soul Plane.

 As you walk out of the DCO’s office, First Sergeant whispers, “Sir, I think the DCO was pissed about something... but I couldn’t quite _put my finger on it_.” You almost choke thinking about what the DCO would do to the two of you if he overhead you making fun of his missing finger. Passing the staff duty desk, the NCO of the day (having heard every word of the ass-chewing through the DCO’s paper-thin walls and the wide-open door) looks up at you and gives you a wink of support. 

 On the ride back over to the company area, you feel enormous relief that the Soul Plane incident is over and you can move on with post-deployment recovery. Later that afternoon, you administer some ass chewings of your own to the Soul Plane offenders in the company, then First Sergeant declares “NCO business” and takes over. You and the rest of the company take some well-deserved block leave.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 THE END


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## 104TN (Aug 21, 2011)

Pics of the Chief please.


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## alibi (Aug 21, 2011)

Marauder06 said:


> Paul says, “I’ll take care of this, sir,” and disappears towards the back of the airplane with Douchet.


Does Douchet get a crash course in HANO?


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## Warchief (Aug 23, 2011)

I still trying to figure out why Mara ever thought that Chief Rollins didn't like to party.  Every Chief I know like to party.


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## Crusader74 (Aug 23, 2011)

Warchief said:


> I still trying to figure out why Mara ever thought that Chief Rollins didn't like to party. *Every Chief I know like to party*.



Are they as good looking as Chief Rollins?


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## Warchief (Aug 23, 2011)

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.   Speaking only for myself, I get better looking the more drinks the lady be holding.


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## Marauder06 (Aug 23, 2011)

rick said:


> Pics of the Chief please.



Find one you like in "hot women in uniform" or whatever and post it here, that will be her.


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## x SF med (Aug 23, 2011)

Warchief said:


> Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Speaking only for myself, I get better looking the more drinks the lady be holding.



It didn't ever work for your teammates...  why do you think we drank so much when you were around?


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