# Col. Micheal Wilson, Green Beret, Ret, #yolo



## pardus (Aug 19, 2013)

I am Col. Michael Wilson, US Army Green Beret Retired, I am a master of all forms or Gorrilla Warfare and suburban operations. 13 Deployments in the GWAT


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## TLDR20 (Aug 19, 2013)

What the fuck?


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## pardus (Aug 19, 2013)

cback0220 said:


> What the fuck?



Don't question him, he's done 13 tours in the GWAT!
All before he's 21 apparently...


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## CDG (Aug 19, 2013)

What the fuck is the GWAT?


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## pardus (Aug 19, 2013)

CDG said:


> What the fuck is the GWAT?



If you were "a master of all forms or Gorrilla warfare" you'd know!


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## CDG (Aug 19, 2013)

Fuck.  I didn't go to Gorrilla warfare school yet.  Maybe I'll put in for a slot after I graduate Suburban Operations.


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## ShadowSpear (Aug 19, 2013)

At least he has given a shout out to forums other than this one on his FB wall. :-"


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## pardus (Aug 19, 2013)

He seems like a reasonable, smart guy...

COL at 22yrs too, so he muct be good!



> k, tyme to address afew questions hear, first off a lot of my fans arevcvivilians and do not kno what gwat is, it stnds fir global wasr against terrorizers. 2 im not yung, im 22 nd a prodigy.
> I wuz feeld promated to 06 after a 6 week fyre fite. 4 I am here fir u 2 anser all yur military questins as long as opsex not violated. 5 I am a bit of a batass, and I will fite u irl. 6, I hate pogs, all of u, 6 don't rock the juke box, I wanna heer some jones, mi hart aint ready 4 the rollin stoned. 7where all the wyte womens at. 8 pls dnt fcking swear, nd if you du blank it out wit little stars a lot of mi fins are chillun and they dnt ned 2 b exposed 2 that fcking sht. 10 I'm nt always retired, some tim I come oot 2 do a deployment ro 3. Pleses ask questions here.


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## CDG (Aug 19, 2013)

I have a headache after reading that.  Why can't we just shoot people like this?


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## Karoshi (Aug 19, 2013)

CDG said:


> What the fuck is the GWAT?



Apparently, It's what TWATs can only aspire to become!


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Aug 19, 2013)

Sounds like he was part of Supreme Commander Deng's staff...


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## TLDR20 (Aug 19, 2013)

After looking at it it is clearly some sort of troll thing.


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## Mac_NZ (Aug 19, 2013)

OK even that massive herpe cant believe the things he is posting, his photoshop jobs look like they were done with a ms paint.


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Aug 19, 2013)

At 1:29, two guys had a Ranger Scroll (1st Batt?) over another path.  I've never seen it before, is this kosher?


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## reed11b (Aug 19, 2013)

LimaOscarSierraTango said:


> At 1:29, two guys had a Ranger Scroll (1st Batt?) over another path.  I've never seen it before, is this kosher?


It also had a guy with an upside down SF patch with no airborne tab at 1:34. The fail in that video is strong.
Reed


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## LimaOscarSierraTango (Aug 19, 2013)

reed11b said:


> It also had a guy with an upside down SF patch with no airborne tab at 1:34. The fail in that video is strong.
> Reed



I thought something looked funny there.  I stared at it for like 30 seconds trying to figure it out.  I didn't think today was THAT long!  LOL!!!  Someone could have been fucking with him, but I don't know who would fuck with a CSM(?). 

Yeah, lots of fail there. :wall:


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## DasBoot (Aug 19, 2013)

I saw YOLO and immediately hated this thread. I'm in agreement with Cback- troll is trolling.


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## AWP (Aug 19, 2013)

The yolo hashtag makes this legit. Ya'll haters with that "You can't wear a scroll over another patch" herpyderp or the "But it was upside down" derpityderp will never get it.

YOLO, son, muthafuckingYOLO.


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## Salt USMC (Aug 20, 2013)

k so ther I was on the opposite side f Astan. I had jst fst roped in2 shidand, or as we called it the shin, pparently dere wuz gonna be afight just on the irianian barder. which the shen was not fart from. I laced upi my merrells and strapped on my crye preciosion cage plate acareier. I checked the bitteriees in my peq15 and mod sure and made sure my m14 wuz still zeroeied so I shot at this sign a thousand meters at the end of da rinway standing I took mi shot and grouped a quarter moa, not being satisfied I lt the barrel cool to close upi mi shit group. then I let her ring. the hole on my three round burst measured just 7.61mm across. I had put all three in the hole. neway I waleked up to genral petraus nnd my man prez obeezy and was all like sup, we ready to this. Obeezy briefed me on the ‪#‎yolocopter‬ ride over to the dfac about Mahmoud bin saddam o laddin. like on the day tht he briefed me before the bin ladin and the saddam Hussein raids. he said there are easily 12,oo talibans warriors in the border by the iranainas. then 20 companys of iranina armor and irregulars. I said beezy bby, u kno we got dis and me n Viking n prize and ghost took off in our custom matv dune buggy, we must have been doing close to a 100 cross country but the stripped down dorless matv ate up the ride.
bout dis timw ehad been taking conatca for well over 24 hours strght. I took over the mk19 mount ndripped off a 437 round belt desimating the Iranian likenes. at this ppoint most of the Taliban sureendederd but we were not taking priosoners. all 4 of our door gunners opened fire and so did our back turret and also so did our missle pods. there wasn't a box o grid squares left newhere on the bft screen.i jumpeded out the turret and did flipping awsom curb stopm on like 4 talinabn.. of course at this point the marines showed up like way late and after me an my mens got all the scalps and ears, but then like out of nowhere that bad guy who I talked about earlierer showed up and I was like by thor and broke his spine over my knee. its like I alwys say have a plan to kill evryone u met, and be polite and profissional when u du it


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## Salt USMC (Aug 20, 2013)

I'm pretty sure this is a joke


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## skeeter (Aug 20, 2013)

"and made sure my m14 wuz still zeroeied so I shot at this sign a thousand meters at the end of da rinway standing I took mi shot and grouped a quarter moa, not being satisfied I lt the barrel cool to close upi mi shit group. then I let her ring. the hole on my three round burst measured just 7.61mm across"

I wish I was this cool:-":wall:


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## Hillclimb (Aug 20, 2013)

Proof that reality TV and mainstream music rots your brain.


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## Ooh-Rah (Aug 20, 2013)

CDG said:


> What the fuck is the GWAT?


 
Holy shit am I bored this morning...too much time on the Colonel's webpage:  GWAT = Global War Against Terror!


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## 8654Maine (Aug 20, 2013)

Y'all be haters and doubters.
field promoted to 0-6 at age 22...c'mon, at least be believable.


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Deathy McDeath said:


> k so ther I was on the opposite side f Astan. ...  rest of post...


 
That made my friggin brain hurt....  but you failed miserably anyway... there was a paragraph break and some intermittent punctuation, and an occasionally correctly spelled word.

That being said, you are a go at teh txtspk statn nd cn now advnc to the WoW statn ....:wall::wall::wall::wall::wall::blkeye::dead:


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

I saw that on facebook and I hated it there and I will continue to hate it. B.T.W. What is yolo? Sounds gay.

F.M.


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

Hillclimb said:


> Proof that reality TV and mainstream music rots your brain.


 
I blame Mtv...

F.M.


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## Karoshi (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> What is yolo?
> 
> F.M.



You Only Live Once, probably cause he has GOD mode cheats enabled so he can get field promoted to O-6 so fast. CoD:Ghosts and BF4 is serious business and all.


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## Poccington (Aug 20, 2013)

I saw #yolo in the title of this thread and just knew it was going to deliver.

Quality stuff!


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Karoshi said:


> You Only Live Once, probably cause he has GOD mode cheats enabled so he can get field promoted to O-6 so fast. CoD:Ghosts and BF4 is serious business and all.


 
WTF di you just say?


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## AWP (Aug 20, 2013)

x SF med said:


> WTF di you just say?


 
He said that he recognizes the age disparity and is deeply apologetic for intruding upon your yard; he will vacate it immediately.


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## medicchick (Aug 20, 2013)

Sorry, I lost it at "opsex" and "batass".   The FB page is down so I can't see all the glorious photos but the Stolen Valor guys seem to be on it already.



Freefalling said:


> The yolo hashtag makes this legit. Ya'll haters with that "You can't wear a scroll over another patch" herpyderp or the "But it was upside down" derpityderp will never get it.
> 
> YOLO, son, muthafuckingYOLO.



When we first got to Alaska and RP was having his new unit patch sewn on his Class A's they put his Scroll over his unit patch, both sides.  This was even on post where we thought they would know better.   She wouldn't fix it until he came down and explained it (apparently as a wife I knew nothing).


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## Rapid (Aug 20, 2013)

He was identified by recruiters and pulled straight out of education as soon as he entered grade school... to join Echo Force (you probably haven't even heard of them if your ops aren't black enough). Plus, ain't nobody got time to learn how to spell when you're fighting the GWAT.


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Freefalling said:


> He said that he recognizes the age disparity and is deeply apologetic for intruding upon your yard; he will vacate it immediately.


 
You are a Bastige...  and player of MMPFPSs.... and beyond such an AWP of great renown...  Bah, scullion, take that and be hoist by your own petard....  begone, rapscallion, go hither and do not forget your armor, for the Saracen await!


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## pardus (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> What is yolo? Sounds gay.
> 
> F.M.



It's very gay.


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

x SF med said:


> You are a Bastige...  and player of MMPFPSs.... and beyond such an AWP of great renown...  Bah, scullion, take that and be hoist by your own petard....  begone, rapscallion, go hither and do not forget your armor, for the Saracen await!


 
What the fuck did you just say there brother?:-"

F.M.


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

pardus said:


> It's very gay.


 
I feel like biting a cunts face off....You like that brother? I explained to my dad the other day on how the word "cunt" is used like bitch in the states. He was like "that's old news / I have been using that since I was a medic in the 101st. in 73".:wall: I was like, ok. What ev. YOLO.

F.M.


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## Karoshi (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> What the fuck did you just say there brother?:-"
> 
> F.M.



I believe it was something similar to "They've taken the Hobbits to Isengard"


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> What the fuck did you just say there brother?:-"
> 
> F.M.


 
If you could read, you'd know....  I there fore scoff at you in an inappropriate locale.   You too may begone.


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

Karoshi said:


> I believe it was something similar to "They've taken the Hobbits to Isengard"


 
Sounded like fucking Japanese to me. Then again, I never graduated from college. So, the word "the" is sort of Japanese...

F.M.


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## Muppet (Aug 20, 2013)

Anyhow, off to work I go. Maybe I will needle a chest tonight. Most likely, I will give a taxi ride to a tool with toe pain. YOLO!

F.M.


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Karoshi said:


> I believe it was something similar to "They've taken the Hobbits to Isengard"


 

Not in reference to Free....   I had to quote Ivanhoe, not Lord of the Rings, for him to get the gist of the barb.


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> Anyhow, off to work I go. Maybe I will needle a chest tonight. Most likely, I will give a taxi ride to a tool with toe pain. YOLO!
> 
> F.M.


 
wow...  on the fence....  like, hate, or send a letter bomb?   hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....


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## Karoshi (Aug 20, 2013)

x SF med said:


> wow...  on the fence....  like, hate, or send a letter bomb?   hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....


Why commit yourself to only one option?


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## x SF med (Aug 20, 2013)

Firemedic said:


> Sounded like fucking Japanese to me. Then again, I never graduated from college. So, the word "the" is sort of Japanese...
> 
> F.M.


 
Just for you, one of the worst covers ever.....


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## SpongeBob*24 (Aug 20, 2013)

Day 2433 started off like any other day.....:wall:



			
				COL said:
			
		

> we were in the middle of the hindi kush mtns. I had jus finished my last canteen of jd and lit upi the evening blunt when I haerd a rustle up on the ridge about 300 netrs away. ii pulled my trsuty m14 ebr out ad took a gander through my leupold optic, placing the legs of the harrirs bipod firmly in the soft soils. I see before my eyes about 278 Taliban creeping thrut the scrb grass and bushess. I hit upi my team thoruhg my peltor easd set and tell them we got muti tangos on all sides, they has a few victors as well. most just old hi luxes wif dshkas in the backs. I said ghost, prize and Viking r u guys ready for this, they didn't need to say a things, we were so trained on each othes body languages that we all knew, in unsin we released r battle cries and began chargin up hill. I popped at least 67 men in the hed with my m14 as we charged, and my men did the same witht heir respective weapons syse=tems. AS we closed in I slung back the foteen and pulled out my handi dandi mp5 silenced and my bechmades tomahacwk. I put down at least another 133 guys in cqb, while the rounds kicke dirts up all around mme, but I kno scared. I screamed by thor and swung my tohwanhk thru the faces of 12s of talibans. the technical opended fire and id id a tactical roll into a nearby wadi, and so did all my tewam. I got on the hed set and called highr requesting an air strike. thy said yes but I had t maker the target, and I ws well withn dangers close. So I sttod up and threw the smoke grnade a 100 meters to the techs, in 5 seconds ol puff the majik dragin belched his mgty 105 in2 there formations and the 25 mm chain gun cleared upi all the straggles... Over all we killed almost 1200 enmy cobatanats that day and saved all the coalition farces in the AO (ariel observations for you cicvis) I agev all of my men thir silver strs with v device dat nght, and like we always did we threw them in the poo pond at kaf. You see 4 men like us it aint bout wards, Whn I go hom peeple'll ask me, "Hy Col, why do you duit man? What, you sume kinda war junkee?" You know what ill say? I won't say a godam wrd. Why? They wnt understnd. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's abut th mens next 2 u, and that's it. That all it is.



FYI:
I saved some of his stories last night!!!!!


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## AWP (Aug 20, 2013)

That guy is trolling hard. Using the poo pond at KAF? Hoot's lines from Blackhawk Down? A Benchmade tomahawk?

Someone's put some thought and research into this masterpiece.


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## reed11b (Aug 20, 2013)

Freefalling said:


> That guy is trolling hard. Using the poo pond at KAF? Hoot's lines from Blackhawk Down? A Benchmade tomahawk?
> 
> Someone's put some thought and research into this masterpiece.


I disagree that this is a troll masterpiece. A troll for sure, but a masterpiece leaves a little room for doubt. The mall ninja saga was a masterpiece, this is full tilt retard from the get-go. No one ever wondered if maybe he was legit to any degree. Making gullible people angry on the internet is like shooting a bear in a small kennel and calling it extreme hunting. A master troll gets those that should know better.
Reed


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## Rapid (Aug 21, 2013)

I think this is more parody than troll. Either way, sometimes it's more funny when you don't have to question if someone is trying to troll you... you can just sit back and watch other people get trolled. Which makes it even funnier when people fall for something so bad.


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