# (Humor) Instructions for Paratroopers



## EverSoLost (Jun 14, 2010)

So easy a caveman can do it.....;)


----------



## pardus (Jun 14, 2010)

LMAO! Nice one!


----------



## car (Jun 14, 2010)

That had to have been a "note to self" from an MI officer.


----------



## Centermass (Jun 14, 2010)

car said:


> That had to have been a "note to self" from an MI officer.



or some overworked, pissed off loadmaster........lol.


----------



## Rapid (Jun 15, 2010)

It's just a shame most people these days aren't capable of doing something so 'simple'.


----------



## QC (Jun 15, 2010)

5. Forget awareness count

6. Do not concentratre on warm sensation in pants


----------



## jakobisrex (Jun 29, 2010)

Queens Cadet said:


> 5. Forget awareness count
> 
> 6. Do not concentratre on warm sensation in pants


 
I just laughed out loud!!!


----------



## Walker613 (Jul 5, 2010)

Queens Cadet said:


> 5. Forget awareness count
> 
> 6. Do not concentratre on warm sensation in pants


 
Lol. That's a good point. A friend of mine tried skydiving, and he pissed himself.


----------



## pardus (Jul 5, 2010)

Walker613 said:


> Lol. That's a good point. A friend of mine tried skydiving, and he pissed himself.


 
So why haven't you done it?


----------



## Walker613 (Jul 5, 2010)

I don't know a place around where I live that does it. My friend did it when he visited his dad's house.


----------



## pardus (Jul 5, 2010)

Walker613 said:


> I don't know a place around where I live that does it. My friend did it when he visited his dad's house.


 
Bullshit.

Find a place, do it and then you can talk shit about it, until then STFU!

An asshole that talks down to a fail is  lower that scum of one who tried and failed!


----------



## Walker613 (Jul 5, 2010)

I'm trying to find a place. I want to do it.


----------



## pardus (Jul 5, 2010)

Walker613 said:


> I'm trying to find a place. I want to do it.


 
Don't try, do it.

That is your Mantra now, got it?


----------



## Walker613 (Jul 5, 2010)

Got it.


----------



## AWP (Jul 6, 2010)

Walker, most places won't take you until you are 18.

Can't find a place to do it? Did you Google anything like "places to skydive?"

Try this: www.uspa.org


----------



## AWP (Jul 6, 2010)

P.S. The irony of legs commenting on a thread about paratroopers isn't lost on me.

Repeat after me kids: being a paratrooper isn't the same as being a skydiver and making one tandem makes you a skydiver like one home movie makes you a porn star.


----------



## HOLLiS (Jul 6, 2010)

Freefalling said:


> P.S. The irony of legs commenting on a thread about paratroopers isn't lost on me.
> 
> Repeat after me kids: being a paratrooper isn't the same as being a skydiver and making one tandem makes you a skydiver like one home movie makes you a porn star.


 
Best post, IMHO...   but then  I am a terra ferma believer.  :)


----------



## Ravage (Jul 6, 2010)

I saw a photo of a Swick RHIB where it said: "get in, sit down, shut up, hold on" - golden.


----------



## AWP (Jul 6, 2010)

There was a DC-3 used for skydiving back in the 70's that had something similar. Variations of it have been around for decades.


----------



## pardus (Jul 6, 2010)

I was at a bar with my mate the other day, these two guys came in, boasting about how they'd just done their first tandem skydive, talking it up to the skanky barmaid with the big tits.

My mate asked them something like how high did you jump etc... "They said X feet, why? have YOU ever done anything like that?"

My mate responded "Only about 1200 times..."

I nearly spat my beer on the floor lol


----------



## Muppet (Jul 6, 2010)

Some of my fondest memories are that of being a Paratrooper. I got more trim than a porn star when I would wear my beret on leave. My parents used to force me to wear my class-A's and beret to dinner. Thats before I knew better and they became retarded. I was one cock deisel stud medic back then. I wasn't a Ranger but I was a stud nonetheless. 

F.M.


----------

