# I will hope and persevere through what it will take to become a SEAL, or exhaust all avenues.



## overlordm2 (May 31, 2016)

This is not a place for me, or anyone else to whine: this is just my story, and feel free to comment, or have your own story here if you are like myself: A person who just wanted to make a difference and found a stacked deck played against them. This story is what I can remember. If anyone was involved with my situation, and sees an an error, please tell me. I don't want to be a peddler of falsehoods, and if I make a mistake, it was an honest error, and I would be happy to correct it.


Well, today has not been good for me. I just learned that my current USAF RE 2B / JKN is a current bar into the Navy in general, and well, I took a recruiters advice, and think I'm going to try to make a change to it. I originally joined the AF to become a SOWT and tried to reduce my pipeline time by going directly to WX for a few years before cross-training. Well, that obviously did not happen for me. Some of my shop leadership grew irritated at my tardiness (I know, I know, and that I will always, and have taken full responsibility for my failures), and I found that I was beginning to have a pattern of not being able to sleep properly. I did not want to take drugs for it due to what could happen over time, especially for someone that had to be in the Command Post (or CP, a 24 hr shop). I thought I had a solution to some of these problems, so that I would not be Amn. Dirtbag: I volunteered to take the night shifts for fellow controllers with families so that I could get better at my job with OJT and at the same time deal with my difficulty to sleep at night; at the same time, the other controllers who had families would at least be able to spend time at home at night. Well, that did not happen. So, I just sucked it up and went to our med group to find out what I can do. Well, there were pills, but I chose not to head that route and tried to change my sleeping habits. It worked for a while. This whole time, I still did my best at a job I was not the biggest fan of. I was ahead of other Airmen who came when I did, and I tried to make sure that my work products, and work ethic were unquestionable. The irony is that when my supervisor finally got around to being able to train me, my luck cut out: I was doing busy work while the others were training to be certified for the base's requirement of certification for our CP. And this was where I felt my troubles beginning.

Well, I'll add on more next time in the near future. I've had a bad day, a generally bittersweet week, and I'm just going to tell myself "You are okay, you must persevere." I have no mental issues, and no suicidal tendencies: I have no time, want or need to hurt anything or anyone, and just want to give a story, and listen to stories. That's all I have for now.  Take care of yourself and others, and I hope everyone who comes to this thread knows that  suicide is not the answer and that you will make it to the best possible ending by smiling, being friendly, and have a sense that someone out there depends on you, regardless of what happens or if anyone will notice.


----------



## AKkeith (May 31, 2016)

Oooookayyyy.


----------



## overlordm2 (May 31, 2016)

Meh, this is just my little story corner. I'm going to be honest: I'm possibly the strangest guy I know.


----------



## Ooh-Rah (May 31, 2016)

That is one long paragraph. In just a couple of sentences, would you be willing to translate what you were trying to communicate in your original post?


----------



## Kheenbish (May 31, 2016)

Wait so..you joined for SOWT, but instead decided to go weather, then ended up as a command post controller and made a post about how you can't sleep.. yet you will persevere to become a SEAL? I guess I'm just not picking up what your trying to drop.


----------



## Marine0311 (May 31, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> Meh, this is just my little story corner. I'm going to be honest: I'm possibly the strangest guy I know.



I am going to be honest I have no idea what you are trying to say.


----------



## Red Flag 1 (May 31, 2016)

You have blocked your info. in your information. Your choice, but it suggests you are hiding something. You are pretty scattered in your writing style. You mention tardiness on your job in the Command Post. If you can't make it to work on time for that inside job, I don't see a future as a SEAL for you. It sounds like you were on the path for certification in the Command Post in the USAF, and you said, "that's when you felt your troubles beginning". Would you care to elaborate on that, or do you want to just . You also said that the pack was stacked against you, and you want to talk with people who are in the same situation, but you have not given us a clue about your "situation".? Care to get down to specifics, or do you just want to swap stories? What are you going to do different if you get lucky enough to get back in the service?


----------



## policemedic (May 31, 2016)

Your storied history in the USAF aside, why bring up suicide?  You're using some pretty interesting phrasing in that last paragraph.


----------



## pardus (May 31, 2016)

@overlordm2 I think some clarification of your post, what your intent was etc... would be not only helpful, but wise.

What exactly are you getting at/trying to say?


----------



## Muppet (May 31, 2016)

Um, are you ok dude? 

M.


----------



## DocIllinois (Jun 1, 2016)

This is a lot of disquietude for 24 years old.  I would recommend seeing the physician with intimate knowledge of your health history, if you'd so choose. 

 Work with them to make a plan for tackling stuff you've got going on right now.


----------



## Teufel (Jun 1, 2016)




----------



## Diamondback 2/2 (Jun 1, 2016)

Hope you're okay tonight. We all have our moments in time.


----------



## Beagle (Jun 1, 2016)

It's okay, the military isn't for everyone.  I did my time and appreciate the opportunity to serve and it has opened many doors in the civilian world.

Currently I could never do it again but at 18 it's pretty easy.


----------



## Gunz (Jun 1, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> ...I'm just going to tell myself "You are okay, you must persevere." I have no mental issues, and no suicidal tendencies: I have no time, want or need to hurt anything or anyone, and just want to give a story, and listen to stories. That's all I have for now.  Take care of yourself and others, and I hope everyone who comes to this thread knows that  suicide is not the answer...




Troubling sentences. You sound like you need some help.


----------



## overlordm2 (Jun 1, 2016)

Alright, time for the long reply to all:

Ooh-Rah:
Yeah, I'm just rambling a bit. Had a rough day and for me, rough days equal rambling. I was just saying that I have felt that my discharge code was a bit much, considering the same leadership kept an Airman who has a DUI (I'll admit that he drastically improved though. Most people at my base could hardly believe he was not dropped off at the gate by the base commander who takes those DUIs personally). My training record for certifying for the base as a CP controller is classified, and that means even I won't be able to look at it (if at all) without some work if it has not been destroyed but some of the controllers may back my story, but no guarantee there as well. I have not totally written my story, so, maybe in a day or two, I'll post more and not try to ramble.

Kheenbish:
I was supposed to do WX but my eyesight without glasses was too poor and that disqualified me from WX. I initially pushed for WX because it interested me since I was young and also because the material would be no surprise when I was to eventually try out for SOWT. Now, for sleep issues, I don't know how it started. Maybe getting moved from shift to shift to shift had something to do with it, as well as being able to be recalled on a scheduled off-day to fill-in the controllers who had family issues take them away from a part, or remainder of their shift. I got sleep when I could. What I am also saying is that if I feel that I can feel that I deserve a shot to become a SEAL, I must be willing to weather whatever may come to me and fight to change my RE. Some people who were previously in (that I have spoken to in person) said that I might actually have a chance when they have seen other record change attempts with less merit fail. I either fight back this way, or I deserve nothing of what I am pursuing.

Marine0311:
Yeah, I'm just kind of saying that I just do things differently (usually to be more practical for me, but sometimes I just have no reason to do that other than to just be different) according to how I present things, or Organize, Process things that don't have strict guidelines, etc.

Red Flag 1:
"You have blocked your info. Your choice, but it suggests you are hiding something. You are pretty scattered in your writing style. You mention tardiness on your job in the Command Post. If you can't make it to work on time for that inside job, I don't see a future as a SEAL for you. It sounds like you were on the path for certification in the Command Post in the USAF, and you said, "that's when you felt your troubles beginning". Would you care to elaborate on that, or do you want to just . You also said that the pack was stacked against you, and you want to talk with people who are in the same situation, but you have not given us a clue about your "situation".? Care to get down to specifics, or do you just want to swap stories? What are you going to do different if you get lucky enough to get back in the service?"

Okay, Red Flag1, I will explain everything in order the best that I can.
1. Ok, this is my first thread outside of the intro. I am learning what I can about the site and I must admit that there are settings that I need to change. Thanks for the heads up on that and letting me know how I am perceived.
2. Please see My response to Ooh-Rah.
3. Tardiness. Boy, if that ain't the bane of a good EPR. I got better at my time management for a while when I was able to have a good sleep pattern. Then well, when the pattern broke, I don't know how I could recover from it without drugs, so I went to bed earlier, and tried out blackout and calm music with 2 wake-up alarms. Well, apparently that was not enough. I have supremely improved since I left, and learned my lesson in that.
4. My troubles that I sensed in the beginning were from lack of genuineness, apathy, and general sense that some NCOs had of "I hate my life" were something I sensed early on. Some people loved the job enough to make it a career, others were there because they for persuaded to leave their previous MX AFSC, or were a AFSOC wash-outs (2 to be exact. good guys in my book.). I knew something was wrong, and even the AF learned that it had an apparently unacceptable office culture that affected office and base operations, since the exam failures forced 2 of these Airman in my shop to always be there alternating for a month on (most likely) 12 hr shifts.
McConnell member named 2013 CP Airman of the year
5. I have not finished posting my entire story and situation. I want to give the most honest story that I can. I like being honest, and I want my errors called out so I can fix them or clarify them.
6. This is another place to swap stories. Feel free to put down what you feel. Stories, Criticism, Questions, etc. I know I set the tone on this thread, but yeah, it's a free country.
7. If I get back in, I'll have a journal of what I want to do, and how I must accomplish it. Like a food journal, but I guess in reverse. Keep myself more accountable.

policemedic:
Because there is someone back at my old shop who might actually know of this board and somewhat knew what went on. I was depressed about the situation, but who would not be? I was referred to the base psych and found nothing wrong with me. i did not go because of a fear of suicide, but because of my sleep issues and because of my shop looking to see if I had ADHD or whatnot. Outside of my leadership and friends, people back at the dorms were concerned about the number of times I went. It's all good. I just had to CMA if that friend of mine came across this.

pardus:
I hope some of the stuff above can be more helpful in understanding what I had written in the OP. If not, just PM me or post here.

Muppet:
I'm ok. I want to live a full and hopefully long life. My rambling was pretty bad I guess? Relationship stuff was definitely a factor, but mostly other things too.

DocIllinois:
Well, I've become more of a productive night-owl, instead of simply not being a "morning person". I have done what you have recommended already for some issues.

Diamondback 2/2:
Thanks for the asking.

Beagle:
I think it still is for me, I just kind of ended up in the exactly the base I did not want to go, in the exact type of command post that was described by previous controllers as "... possibly one of the toughest bases to be an experienced controller in. I don't know how you young people will do, but I hope it goes well for you all."

Ocoka One:
Well, look at my repsonse for policemedic. I also try to encourage people that you can make it. Maybe not today, but tomorrow is a chance not all of us get. No man is guaranteed tomorrow. In turn, with that last statement, I hope that people can talk to me and feel that they can trust me.

Well, I tried my best to respond to all of you. Thanks to all for at least reading this and have concern for the "new guy" here. Thank you.


----------



## Red Flag 1 (Jun 1, 2016)

Thank you for taking the time to get back with us, and to answer our questions, in a timely manner. I see that you have also opened up access to your personal information, thank you for that too.

I will say, that your chances to get through BUDS, are really pretty slim. I'm not trying to burst your bubble, but, but to become a SEAL, the challenge is tremendous. We do have a couple of SEALs onboard, and you might want to pm (Private Message) them to get a better picture of what if required to compete in BUDS, and on to SEAL. Something else to keep in mind is just who populate, and manage this site, most are SOF connected. All of the SOF jobs require it's membership to be extremely physically fit, they are problem solvers who chase down answers to their questions on their own.

As a site, we do take pride in being able to help new members prepare for, and reach their dreams. That having been said, hold off some on telling us about you for just a bit. There is a lot of information on this site. Read through threads on this site, on things that hold your interest. Read as much as you can about career possibilities. Visit our Mentor Groups. We are looking for problem solvers, so chase down the answers on your own. Many of the answers are on this site, others you may have to Google. If you still can't find answers to your question(s), then give us a shout. I can't say for sure that you are SOF material or not, but we will find out. You are 24 years old, and had a short stint in the USAF, it could be that a career in the military is just not in the cards for you. So...take advantage of what ShadowSpear offers. Find a career path that fits what you can do, the chase down answers to your questions. If you do that, we will help you as much as we can.


----------



## CDG (Jun 1, 2016)

Your training record is classified?  Do tell.


----------



## Salt USMC (Jun 1, 2016)

Have a story


----------



## Bypass (Jun 1, 2016)

Deathy McDeath said:


> Have a story


It was because you are a liberal.......


----------



## overlordm2 (Jun 1, 2016)

CDG:
Yeah, you think you are having a giggle? I did when I saw the folder when I first got to see it. I knew that very few people would believe me. That's why I would ask if there is another person you trust that can tell you whether or not that is true. My belief in why the training record (mind that this one for the base, a STRATCOM base for "emergencies") is the fact that STRATCOM is why that is even a thing and only holds weight for McConnell, not anywhere else. It was a head-scratcher too when I saw it. Now, the record that is on my DD-214 is obviously not classified. I went to AMC C2 School @ Scott, and STRATCOM C2 school @ Offut. I'm just waiting for the verification now. 

Deathy McDeath:
I don't think I'm putting any compromising info. I mean, if you see something, can you PM me? I always run the "Is it sensitive?" test every time I type and talk.


----------



## overlordm2 (Jun 1, 2016)

Red Flag 1:
Well, the odds are against me. Nothing new. I just have to do what I must as soon as I can. I've got maybe a chance with a lawyer on my side to appeal to the board. I have heard that the NG may take me and I may go that route for a period so that I can serve again. If I simply give up, I deserve nothing.


----------



## Polar Bear (Jun 1, 2016)

Anyone else having a Deja vu moment?


----------



## Marine0311 (Jun 1, 2016)

Why did you change your avatar?


----------



## Red Flag 1 (Jun 1, 2016)

Polar Bear said:


> Anyone else having a Deja vu moment?



Yup.


----------



## overlordm2 (Jun 1, 2016)

You don't like my avatar? I just like it as a history guy who gets a kick out of SOF and the alternative to Zimbabwe. I mean, anyone got a better avatar in mind? And I'm not getting the deja vu comment?


----------



## SpongeBob*24 (Jun 1, 2016)

Thanks for sticking around....and answering everyone's questions....is says alot!

Good luck Buddy.....


----------



## AWP (Jun 1, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> My training record for certifying for the base as a CP controller is classified, and that means even I won't be able to look at it (if at all) without some work if it has not been destroyed but some of the controllers may back my story, but no guarantee there as well. I have not totally written my story, so, maybe in a day or two, I'll post more and not try to ramble.



Wait, you are still in uniform but your training records aren't accessible to you and may not even exist?


----------



## Etype (Jun 1, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> Yeah, you think you are having a giggle? I did when I saw the folder when I first got to see it. I knew that very few people would believe me. That's why I would ask if there is another person you trust that can tell you whether or not that is true. My belief in why the training record (mind that this one for the base, a STRATCOM base for "emergencies") is the fact that STRATCOM is why that is even a thing and only holds weight for McConnell, not anywhere else. It was a head-scratcher too when I saw it. Now, the record that is on my DD-214 is obviously not classified. I went to AMC C2 School @ Scott, and STRATCOM C2 school @ Offut. I'm just waiting for the verification now.


Bro, a lot of people on here do a lot of different things in the secret and TS realm. The thing about that stuff, is you're not even supposed to talk about how you, "can't talk about it." You just leave it alone, you don't hint, you don't tap dance.

No one here is impressed with your, "my job is so secret, it may not even exist," gig.

Read some threads elsewhere and get some forum atmospherics and SA.


----------



## DocIllinois (Jun 1, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> I mean, anyone got a better avatar in mind?



I would advise not inviting the membership's coarse creativity in such a way.


----------



## overlordm2 (Jun 2, 2016)

Freefalling:
What I mean is that when I was not involved with part of day to day operations, I effectively don't even have access to due to my situation. And like I said, it's not something I won't talk about anymore.

Etype:
http://static.e-publishing.af.mil/production/1/af_a3_5/publication/cfetp1c3x1/cfetp1c3x1.pdf
That is a slice of my pencil pushing time in the AF. Whooo. I was a part of the TS world. I'm only acknowledging what the base puts on it's own website and in what is said over unsecured line that can be released. I know what I can say. I thank you for what you do. I only stick with what I know.  I'm not here to impress you or anyone. The job is only "secret squirrel" at all because of what we do. That's all. If you want to make yourself a big guy, go ahead. I'm not going stop you. 

DocIllinois:
People-watching and watching skilled artists are forms of entertainment that cost very little, and curious to see.


----------



## Diamondback 2/2 (Jun 2, 2016)

No shit there I was...


----------



## AKkeith (Jun 2, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> Etype:
> If you want to make yourself a big guy, go ahead. I'm not going stop you.



This is so funny.
Especially because of how massive this man is. Now I've never met him in real life but, I don't think any of us could stop him. Even if we wanted to.


----------



## Etype (Jun 2, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> Freefalling:
> What I mean is that when I was not involved with part of day to day operations, I effectively don't even have access to due to my situation. And like I said, it's not something I won't talk about anymore.
> 
> Etype:
> ...


You're right, I withdraw.


----------



## Bypass (Jun 2, 2016)

Diamondback 2/2 said:


> No shit there I was...


LOL, I am only here for the laughs. I need them. Thanks again DB.


----------



## Gunz (Jun 2, 2016)

1. -- @overlordm2 are you in the Rhodesian Army or the USAF? Not trying to bust your balls but I think something else might be more appropriate. I actually have a close friend who served with the RLI and I came pretty close myself to taking the AEP flight to Salisbury in '76.

2. -- I appreciate your clarification of your OP and wish you the best of luck.


----------



## DocIllinois (Jun 2, 2016)

Etype said:


> You're right, I withdraw.



The only sensible choice in the face of such stark reasoning.


----------



## Salt USMC (Jun 2, 2016)

If you're taking avatar suggestions, might I suggest the classic Blue Waffle?


----------



## Ooh-Rah (Jun 2, 2016)

.


----------



## AWP (Jun 2, 2016)

Okay, I think we're done. I'm leaving this open for constructive posts. Let's not force a lock.


----------



## pardus (Jun 3, 2016)

overlordm2 said:


> You don't like my avatar? I just like it as a history guy who gets a kick out of SOF and the alternative to Zimbabwe. I mean, anyone got a better avatar in mind? And I'm not getting the deja vu comment?



http://www.shadowspear.com/vb/pages/info/

"COMMUNITY RULES

1. Do not choose a military-related user name unless you are current or former military. The same logic applies with site avatars. For example: Do not choose "ArmyGuy7" if you have never been in the Army. If you are an Army wannabe, do not choose a screen name with the word "Army" in it (ie "ArmyWannabe1") if you have never served in the army."

@overlordm2 change your avatar immediately. You were not Rhodesian Army. This is not a suggestion.


----------

