# Rangers Vs. ...Banana Spiders???



## Marauder06 (Jul 14, 2015)

I was never a Ranger, but I do know about banana spiders.  <shudder> 
*story*




> While I was swinging the machete wildly (pronounced muh-chet-tay) I heard a loud pop and felt my machete vibrate. At that same instant the air in front of my face exploded into a cloud of brownish-yellowish-greenish stuff. Apparently when you hit a banana spider with a machete, its ass explodes about 3/4 of a gallon of silk. Good to know.  Those of you who don’t know what a banana spider is, Google that shit. It’s a cross between a crab, crayons, and nightmares.


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## Grunt (Jul 14, 2015)

One of the nastiest moments in my life was when I was in Japan and walked face-first into a Banana Spider at about 0200 in the morning.

We were moving through the canopy and couldn't see a thing when I felt myself walk into a web. As I was trying to get the web out of my face, I felt something land on my nose and something else touching both sides of my head near my ears...then IT moved. At that point, I began slapping my face to the point I nearly knocked myself out and one of the guys behind me turned on his light to see what was happening due to the noise. 

That's when we saw the demon spawn. It was huge...and needless to say...to this day...I can remember it like it just happened last night.

They are nasty...and BIG!


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## CDG (Jul 14, 2015)

Agoge said:


> One of the nastiest moments in my life was when I was in Japan and walked face-first into a Banana Spider at about 0200 in the morning.
> 
> We were moving through the canopy and couldn't see a thing when I felt myself walk into a web. As I was trying to get the web out of my face, I felt something land on my nose and something else touching both sides of my head near my ears...then IT moved. At that point, I began slapping my face to the point I nearly knocked myself out and one of the guys behind me turned on his light to see what was happening due to the noise.
> 
> ...



Dude...... Fuck. That.


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## Raksasa Kotor (Jul 14, 2015)

Those people that think they hear sasquatch calls in the middle of the night? Nope - that's the sound of some poor motherfucker that just walked into a banana spider's web. Fuck those things and centipedes - if there were ever proof of intelligent design, it's them, but they were made by the fucking devil himself.


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## Viper1 (Jul 14, 2015)

Between that and camel spiders I believe my nightmares are complete. :die::dead:


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## medicchick (Jul 14, 2015)

First night in Georgia after moving from Michigan I went out to smoke (I quit over 10 years ago) and hear an odd sound.  I walk around the side of the house and see a BIG ass spider CLICKING at me.  RP just said "Yup, they do that.  I think that's a brown recluse too".  I was used to moderate size wolf spiders but nothing the size of my head.  I was never so happy as the day we moved to Alaska where creepy crawlies die in winter and remain small (unless they are mosquitoes).  Now it's the damn black widows and a random camel spider at the PX on the Navy base.  Even Bibby often says "I don't like spiders".  Fuck spiders, I have a mosquito magnet for a reason.

Now I'm sitting here with the creepy things around shudders.


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## The Accountant (Jul 14, 2015)

People think I'm being sarcastic when I say I love the winter. No bugs flying everywhere and mosquitos is definitely a factor in loving the winter more than summer, especially living near the water. We have them damn invasive tiger mosquitos that are ruthless when the wind isn't blowing. When I go out on the salt marshes to clean up garbage I'm a damn buffet, spray doesn't do shit.


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## Grunt (Jul 14, 2015)

K9Quest said:


> ...invasive tiger mosquitos...



Those aren't mosquitoes, they are modern-day Pterodactyls.


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## The Accountant (Jul 14, 2015)

Agoge said:


> Those aren't mosquitoes, they are modern-day Pterodactyls.


Ain't that right!


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## AWP (Jul 14, 2015)

K9Quest said:


> damn invasive tiger mosquitos


'
That penetrate clothing. They are as bad as yellow flies.


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## The Accountant (Jul 14, 2015)

Freefalling said:


> '
> That penetrate clothing. They are as bad as yellow flies.



We have green flies.. Not sure if they're same, different or similar to yellows. I do know my nephew is rather good at slapping them to death when we are in the bay's around the Island. He had a streak into the 20's once in less than 5 minutes.


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## AWP (Jul 15, 2015)

K9Quest said:


> We have green flies.. Not sure if they're same, different or similar to yellows. I do know my nephew is rather good at slapping them to death when we are in the bay's around the Island. He had a streak into the 20's once in less than 5 minutes.



Yellow flies/ deer flies only come out in the early summer and stay around cover. They will swarm you if you're near trees, but in an open field you should be okay. Aggressive, nasty little creatures.


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## Brill (Jul 15, 2015)

medicchick said:


> First night in Georgia after moving...



WTF?  My sponsor conveniently forgot to mention anything about them shits.


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## digrar (Jul 15, 2015)




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