# Stupidest Rules



## Marauder06 (May 26, 2009)

The headline on the 01JUN edition of "Army Times" reads, "*Army's Stupidest Rules*."  So what do you think they are?  (Doesn't have to be Army or military-related; what are the dumbest laws/rules you can think of?)


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## TLDR20 (May 26, 2009)

I have heard you can only have sex in the missionary position.....That is prolly the stupidest rule there is if someone isn't pulling my leg.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (May 26, 2009)

WOW it would take me the next year to list the stupid rules and laws of the military (Army) and the USA... :eek:


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## AWP (May 26, 2009)

Reflective belts.


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## digrar (May 26, 2009)

The non issued kit ban in Australia at the moment due to a ball in blank situation.
 Kick the range safety supervisor and the digger in the arse for not checking their pouches properly, don't make everyone use shit gear.


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## American-n-NZ (May 26, 2009)

I have to pick up after my dog when hiking, even though she does her business in the woods, but a horse can take car of business in the middle of trail and nothing is said. Not fun when mountain biking...


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## QC (May 27, 2009)

digrar said:


> The non issued kit ban in Australia at the moment due to a ball in blank situation.
> Kick the range safety supervisor and the digger in the arse for not checking their pouches properly, don't make everyone use shit gear.



Does that go for all gear, even webbing etc?


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## AWP (May 27, 2009)

Queens Cadet said:


> Does that go for all gear, even webbing etc?



According to soldiersystems.net it does. I think they have a copy of the memo posted too.


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## digrar (May 27, 2009)

Apparently different units are interpreting it in different ways. The bit I have seen indicates that it issued pouches only, some units are taking it as complete webbing.
It doesn't effect the boys on ops, just in Australia.


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## car (May 27, 2009)

Having to wear head gear outdoors.

I enforce it ferociously, and hate it when I do it.

Why can't I walk from my car to the gas pump without my headgear?


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## 0699 (May 27, 2009)

car said:


> Having to wear head gear outdoors.
> 
> I enforce it ferociously, and hate it when I do it.
> 
> Why can't I walk from my car to the gas pump without my headgear?



That's my question!!!


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## DA SWO (May 27, 2009)

car said:


> Having to wear head gear outdoors.
> 
> I enforce it ferociously, and hate it when I do it.
> 
> Why can't I walk from my car to the gas pump without my headgear?



Hurlburt Fld used to have a sign at the pumps designating the area as a no hat no salute  area.  Made sense to me.


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## 104TN (May 27, 2009)

car said:


> Having to wear head gear outdoors.
> 
> I enforce it ferociously, and hate it when I do it.
> 
> Why can't I walk from my car to the gas pump without my headgear?



I always thought the no PC in garrison rule was BS too.

A couple others stemming from douche's being in charge:
1. Earplugs attached to uniforms.
2. Having to carry post regs around in a blouse pocket.


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## FNULNU (May 28, 2009)

Backpack on ONE shoulder only.  Gay.


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## Marauder06 (May 30, 2009)

FNULNU said:


> Backpack on ONE shoulder only.  Gay.



Definitely a dumb rule.  So... it presents a more professional appearance to wear a backpack using one strap than two?  WTF is that all about, anyway?

The umbrella rule.  So using an umbrella in uniform is less professional than the public seeing Joe getting soaking wet.  You know what they're all thinking when they see that?  "Damn that dude's dumb, he should have gotten an umbrella."  :doh:


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## Victor (May 30, 2009)

Air Force no longer being allowed to wear rightfully earned "sister-service" badges/Tabs etc etc.


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## ProPatria (May 30, 2009)

The one I hate is the no hands in the pockets. Ever. and to have all the buttons on your uniform done up at all time. Personally I find it uncomfortable to have my bottom button on my tunic done up at all times.


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## demo18c (May 31, 2009)

not being able to walk and talk on a cell phone...


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## 7point62 (Jun 1, 2009)

One of the stupid directives that came down to us ordered us to stop using the term "Kill Team" (Kilo Tangos) for our two and three-man excursions from principle ambush sites. Apparently the media got wind of it. Henceforth KTs had to be refered to as "Security Patrols." To my knowledge, nobody complied with this directive.


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## urdaddyjeep (Aug 7, 2009)

PT belts when in anytype of uniform.. in BALAD was nuts,,., had a CSM yell at me the same nite I got there.. was in my tan flight suit and he was like hey trooper come here.. as I got closer to him I could see his rank and he was like where is your PT belt.. Said CSM didnt know that the PT belt was part of the flight uniform.. he was like well son here everyone wears it no matter what uniform.. i asked why.. he said so you dont get ran over.. i replied if that is the case we would already have problems cause noone should be driving on the sidewalk.. he didnt like that at all..

the 25th had some great ones too.. the best one was the unwritten one.. no ground to ground combat in the 25th AOR.. I was like WTF... 

7point not sure when that came out cause I went to SKT (Small Kill Team) class over in Iraq back in 07..


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## RainMaker (Sep 6, 2009)

Freefalling said:


> Reflective belts.




Yea, what is the deal with reflective belts?? You know how they always make stupid rules cause some idiot f-ed up and ruined it for everyone, well I wonder who was responsible for making it manditory for everyone to wear the belts in the hours of darkness, or in y squadron's case all day long!


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## domo (Sep 6, 2009)

"Field Uniform" (helmet, LBV/IBA) that doesn't include carrying a weapon.  Apparently for some units the carrying of assigned weapons isn't necessary for realistic training, only wearing a few pieces of kit to look like a good "hooah" field soldier.


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 7, 2009)

you must wear your PC on post, and your beret off post.  never made sense to me - how about, lets wear ONE headgear, all the time.


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## Boondocksaint375 (Sep 7, 2009)

HeloMedic1171 said:


> you must wear your PC on post, and your beret off post.  never made sense to me - how about, lets wear ONE headgear, all the time.




Don't say that or everyone will be sporting berets in the field


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## digrar (Sep 7, 2009)

I know a young digger trying to bring back the #3 slouch hat as bush wear. Being a noob, he's getting some pretty effective resistance to the idea. Along the lines of, "Take that fucking thing off, you're not a fucking ANZAC and this isn't Gallipoli."


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 7, 2009)

Boondocksaint375 said:


> Don't say that or everyone will be sporting berets in the field




FUCK.  you're right.  what was I thinking - edit that to add "let's just where the PC everywhere..."  or some shit.


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## nobodythank you (Sep 7, 2009)

HeloMedic1171 said:


> FUCK.  you're right.  what was I thinking - edit that to add "let's just where the PC everywhere..."  or some shit.



It used to be that way but General Shithead ruined it for everyone. Guess he finally "earned" his black beret huh??? :doh:  Never forget the first time I saw a gaggle of french painters walking around post. 

Oh and Domo  A-freaking-men! That was the stupidest thing imaginable. "Support Company will never go to war... what do we need to practice soldier skills for?"   I digress....

Stupid rule?? How bout on a deployment with weapons and not being issued any ammo or having to keep the mag out of the weapon? Nice trust issues there Lou....


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 7, 2009)

FUCK YES.  that's irritating as hell. 

 "here - carry this 8Lb golf club with 7 Lbs. of junk stuck to it that you may or may not use, and oh yeah - here's a mag.  NO!!  don't put the bullets IN the gun!!! that's unsafe! it might go off and kill someone!!!"

  :uhh:  right.  not like we're in a combat zone or anything.  people wonder why everyone has a pogue-pouch on the buttstock - if you're not gonna let them carry it in the mag well where it belongs, they're gonna put it where they won't sit on it, drop it, or lose it.


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## Trip_Wire (Sep 7, 2009)

After reading this thread, it make me feel great to be retired!! ;)


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 7, 2009)

Trip - I honestly wonder if I can hold out that long, brother!  lol


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## EATIII (Sep 7, 2009)

HeloMedic1171 said:


> Trip - I honestly wonder if I can hold out that long, brother!  lol



x2 on that


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## AWP (Sep 7, 2009)

HeloMedic1171 said:


> FUCK YES.  that's irritating as hell.
> 
> "here - carry this 8Lb golf club with 7 Lbs. of junk stuck to it that you may or may not use, and oh yeah - here's a mag.  NO!!  don't put the bullets IN the gun!!! that's unsafe! it might go off and kill someone!!!"
> 
> :uhh:  right.  not like we're in a combat zone or anything.  people wonder why everyone has a pogue-pouch on the buttstock - if you're not gonna let them carry it in the mag well where it belongs, they're gonna put it where they won't sit on it, drop it, or lose it.



Because idiots are shooting each other and themselves. Some years ago roughly 10% of the weapons on the Air Force camp at Bagram had rounds in the chamber and/ or the weapon off safe. While mostly AF, some soldieres were guilty of this too. We used to be informed of the number of injury-causing NDs on base, that quietly went away; the safety grams don't cover them anymore but we know they are happening.

This is one case of Joe being stupid and management getting medieval as a result.


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## Headshot (Sep 7, 2009)

Not being able to sing cadence while running past the on post housing in the mornings so we didn't wake anyone up. :doh::doh::doh:


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 7, 2009)

Freefalling said:


> Because idiots are shooting each other and themselves. Some years ago roughly 10% of the weapons on the Air Force camp at Bagram had rounds in the chamber and/ or the weapon off safe. While mostly AF, some soldieres were guilty of this too. We used to be informed of the number of injury-causing NDs on base, that quietly went away; the safety grams don't cover them anymore but we know they are happening.
> 
> This is one case of Joe being stupid and management getting medieval as a result.



it sounds like a problem with training also, though.  weapons get left in the armory during field problems and rubber duckies take the place on ruck marches.  give Joe a mag or two of blanks and make him carry that "loaded" weapon on his various training exercises.  he'll be stupid, he'll discharge it negligently... but it'll be with blanks and he might actually learn something.

though, there I go again - making sense.  I'll go counsel myself so no one else has to.  In all seriousness, I do forget the rule we've come to live by:  "lowest common denominator, now matter how low it is."  I just hate paying the price for other people's stupidity.

I still hold that it's a stupid rule;  but I definitely acknowledge the stupidity that caused the need for said stupid rule.  thanks again for the insight, Free.


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## Diamondback 2/2 (Sep 7, 2009)

HeloMedic1171 said:


> it sounds like a problem with training also, though.  weapons get left in the armory during field problems and rubber duckies take the place on ruck marches.  *give Joe a mag or two of blanks and make him carry that "loaded" weapon on his various training exercises.*  he'll be stupid, he'll discharge it negligently... but it'll be with blanks and he might actually learn something.



Fuck that give them live M855 (steel core) and if Joe fucks up he gets UCMJ after his buddie kick the fucking shit out of him.:2c:


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## nobodythank you (Sep 8, 2009)

J.A.B. said:


> Fuck that give them live M855 (steel core) and if Joe fucks up he gets UCMJ after his buddie kick the fucking shit out of him.:2c:



Exactly. Given enough incidents and harsh enough penalties this may start to sink in. Harsh penalties for ND's and even worse for injuries... Nothing inspires respect in deadly machinery than the fear that it will bite them....:2c:


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## Teufel (Sep 8, 2009)

If people walked around everywhere in training with condition 1 weapons, they wouldn't develop the bad habits that lead to negligent discharges.  We baby Marines/Soldiers in training and are astonished when there are problems when they are sent into combat and we cut away the tangled web of regulations and procedures that are designed to keep them "safe".  Normally this is accomplished by mitigating away any potential risks in training, usually by taking away individual decision making.  By the way, I think this is one of the highest factors in liberty incidents as well; Marines/Soldiers will not act like men unless they are treated like men.


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 8, 2009)

I got to go to a range recently, and was amazed... we didn't wear eye pro, armor, helmets, nothing.... there were just weapons, ammo, targets, and soldiers.  and you know what happened?  not a fucking thing - except that we all zero'd and sighted our weapons/optics.  and got about 300ish rounds of trigger time on our Uncle's dime....  amazing.  use some common sense, and dumb shit doesn't happen.


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## car (Sep 8, 2009)

Headshot said:


> Not being able to sing cadence while running past the on post housing in the mornings so we didn't wake anyone up. :doh::doh::doh:



The postulate of that - not being able to sing cadence/have bugle calls/fire a cannon at retreat on the Presidio of Monterey because it disturbed the civilians who had built homes too near the fenceline :doh: (Oh, and it woke up the Air Force component commander's wife).

We violated those stupid rules every time we could. It was worth the ass chewing - especially when I was sitting as the Bn CSM


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## HeloMedic1171 (Sep 8, 2009)

yes... similarly.... there's nothing like waking up the residents of Ft Sam with "uh-HEY Laaaawdi DAAAAAAWdi....  hey hey..." or some equally bouncy run rhythm.  :)


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