Family SOF

[Ghygdefvh111]

Hello everybody, I have been trying to decide what career I want after AFROTC for a couple years. Here is why I am struggling with this decision:

I am willing to sacrifice from myself as much as is necessary. I can give and give as much as I need to get through things. However, I am not willing to make my family sacrifice as much. I am married and we plan to have kids after college. She is not fond of the idea of me getting killed. Thus I would like a job where I am home quite a bit or my family can go with me.

I crave the knowledge and experience special tactics airmen get. I love to have that knowledge and plan operation and understanding military tactics and operations.

I also crave the camaraderie that exists within special tactics. The immensely strong bond of steel sharpening steel is something I have always sought out.

Is there a position in the Air Force as an officer that I could pursue to combine all of these things?

 

[AWP]

Per the Site Rules, post an Introduction. This should be your next post.

 

[DA SWO]

Hello everybody, I have been trying to decide what career I want after AFROTC for a couple years. Here is why I am struggling with this decision:

I am willing to sacrifice from myself as much as is necessary. I can give and give as much as I need to get through things. However, I am not willing to make my family sacrifice as much. I am married and we plan to have kids after college. She is not fond of the idea of me getting killed. Thus I would like a job where I am home quite a bit or my family can go with me.

I crave the knowledge and experience special tactics airmen get. I love to have that knowledge and plan operation and understanding military tactics and operations.

I also crave the camaraderie that exists within special tactics. The immensely strong bond of steel sharpening steel is something I have always sought out.

Is there a position in the Air Force as an officer that I could pursue to combine all of these things?

No.

 

[Ooh-Rah]

I'm not SOF so I'll let them comment from that aspect, but is this a joke? I wanna be in the military, I wanna be part of SOF, I wanna feel the camararaderie of SOF, but...I don't wanna travel and I don't wanna risk getting killed.

Plus you want to be an officer to boot? Come on son, is that really what they teach you about leadership at ROTC?

Based on the wants and desires of your post - you should become a Drone "Operator"

 

[DA SWO]

I'm not SOF so I'll let them comment from that aspect, but is this a joke? I wanna be in the military, I wanna be part of SOF, I wanna feel the camararaderie of SOF, but...I don't wanna travel and I don't wanna risk getting killed.

Plus you want to be an officer to boot? Come on son, is that really what they teach you about leadership at ROTC?

Based on the wants and desires of your post - you should become a Drone "Operator"

Actually, he gives good advice.
RPV crewmember allows you to be operational, not deploy as much as a STO, and isn't too stressful on the family.
When I read your post I asked myself, where would this guy fit in today's Air Force. RPV would work, but so would ICBM Launch Officer.
There are not too many "cool guy" jobs that don't require a person to deploy.
Are you a contract cadet yet?

 

[AWP]

You don't want to sacrifice but you want to lead troops?

Please remain a civilian.

 

[Ghygdefvh111]

Yes SOWT I am contracted. I am a sophomore in college in a 5 year mechanical engineering major and I have considered RPV.

Ooh-Rah I understand the strangeness of what I'm asking that is why I'm asking. As stated in the post if I were not married I would happily die for my my country. However, having a wife that would appreciate me staying alive I would like a job that would put me in that situation less. I am even still considering STO but it is hard to find information on what deployments are like, how frequent they are, how frequently I would go into the field. Which would all be things I would discuss with my wife before I decided on what career I would like. I have also considered intelligence, I have heard of OSI but am having the same problem. Since so much is classified its hard to find out what it would be like.

I understand that when I agreed to join the military I signed a check for up to and including my life. Its not that I'm not willing to sacrifice for others its that I would prefer not to leave a family fatherless. I don't want to die but if that's what's asked of me in the line of duty then I will know what must be done.

 

[8654Maine]

Please re-evaluate why you want to serve.

I want my officers and leaders to lead, complete the mission and keep the troops alive. I really do not want them to "die for my country".

You know why?

Because that usually means some poor enlisted man will die or get injured.

 

[Ooh-Rah]

<snip>...Ooh-Rah I understand the strangeness of what I'm asking that is why I'm asking. As stated in the post if I were not married I would happily die for my my country...<snip>

"Well, let's hope that won't be necessary."
- Col. Meyers to Major Powell in Heartbreak Ridge

 

[Totentanz]

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die...

You don't want to sacrifice but you want to lead troops?

Please remain a civilian.

I can't agree with this enough...

 

[Ghygdefvh111]

Ooh-Rah: That is pretty much what I am attempting to say. I am sorry if I was unclear before. I am willing to die, I just hope it never comes to that because I would like my wife to have a husband and my kids to have a father.
Thank you for your time and responses. Your challenge's to my post are actually provoking me to think about this.

 

[Ooh-Rah]

Ooh-Rah: That is pretty much what I am attempting to say. I am sorry if I was unclear before. I am willing to die, I just hope it never comes to that because I would like my wife to have a husband and my kids to have a father.
Thank you for your time and responses. Your challenge's to my post are actually provoking me to think about this.

Glad I could be there for ya.

 

[Blizzard]

Ooh-Rah: That is pretty much what I am attempting to say. I am sorry if I was unclear before. I am willing to die, I just hope it never comes to that because I would like my wife to have a husband and my kids to have a father.
Thank you for your time and responses. Your challenge's to my post are actually provoking me to think about this.

Air Force Core Values:
* Integrity First
* Excellence In All We Do
and ???

Answer that last one, mwalker, and you have the answer to your original question.

Freefalling offered sage advice.

 

[Ghygdefvh111]

Thank you gentleman. I am willing to sacrifice. I am trying to understand why everyone thinks I am not genuinely could someone point this out to me?

Blizzard
Integrity first
Service before self and
Excellence in all we do.

 

[Marine0311]

Thank you gentleman. I am willing to sacrifice. I am trying to understand why everyone thinks I am not genuinely could someone point this out to me?

Blizzard
Integrity first
Service before self and
Excellence in all we do.

Because you are not looking at what you are saying with critical or objective thinking.

 

[medicchick]

From the family side, I found being a Ranger wife better and had more support than being a Big Army wife. If you enlist your wife will have to deal with the fact that ANY job you take could get you killed, that can happen driving to the store. The FRG is there for a reason, and in SOF it is a much tighter group of women who understand what she would be going through.

Either she will handle being a military wife or she won't, don't let you decisions be based on her and what you think is best for her. Train to be the best in whatever you do or don't bother, the military and especially SOF is no place for half assing it. There are several threads on here that cover the family issue, here is one.

http://www.shadowspear.com/vb/threads/i-want-to-try-out-for-marsoc-am-i-crazy.14027/


Sorry if I am out of line gentleman, I thought I'd add my 2 cents from the other side of the table.

 

[AWP]

I'm stewing on this and to be frank, I'm pretty pissed off. I'm not going to play "Internet Tough Guy" but I will be blunt and very critical. I say this as a former NCO who earned a commission. I also have almost 9 YEARS in Afghanistan as a contractor and while I don't consider myself an expert I do consider myself educated.

You need to either change your focus and prepare your family for the change or forget wearing a uniform.

The sad reality? You will do well in the Army or AF with that attitude because we have far too many of "those people" in uniform. The whiners, the complainers, the "me, me, me" crowd, the guys who use their family as an excuse for EVERYTHING...I haven't seen it all but I've seen a lot. All I can read in your posts are how you don't want to put out your family or yourself emotionally. Guess what? That mentality will pose a significant penalty on your men. It smacks of weak to no leadership and sets the wrong example. The men and women who exhibit the "values" you espouse in your posts are hands down some of the worst so-called "leaders" I've worked for and with in almost 20 years of service to our country.

We have guys on this board with a family and 5, 6, 7 deployments under their belt. Is there a toll on those relationships? Without a doubt. They balance the obligations as best as they can, but ultimately the family will lose some arguments and place second at times. That's a cold reality.

So either change your focus and make sure your family is acutely, painfully aware of this change OR stand up and admit that your time in uniform is about you OR cut slingload and remain a civilian. Don't try to fake the funk and hide behind some higher goal and then demonstrate your selfishness. We have too many of these worthless oxygen thieves in uniform now and they are one of many reasons why Iraq and Afghanistan are an "L" on the scoreboard.

Own your choice, but your men deserve the best.

 

[Grunt]

There isn't one of us here that desires to suddenly leave their spouse behind due to being shot or blown up in a foreign land because we were sent there to do our duty. Nor is there any one of us that would want to orphan our children for any of the same reasons as mentioned above.

I have been married 27 years. I have never added up the years that I have spent away from them that I will never get back, but I know that it was several. That is a fact of life -- the life that I and my wife chose. Did she want me leaving her alone to go off to some rathole for God knows how long? Nope...but it was my job and she knew it and dealt with it. Did she ever learn to like it...nope. But, she learned to deal with it and accept it as a fact of life. Those were choices we made and choices we accepted.

I was in a position where it was my job to pull triggers, set up ambushes, and take real estate from people that didn't want to give it up. There is an inherent risk in that line of work. However, much like the plumber goes to work and changes pipes every day of their life, combat arms does the same. They go do what they do -- day in and day out. That's just the way it is. If your wife doesn't get that...then you probably don't need to go into anything that will take you away from them. Find another way to serve. There is no dishonor in that, but if you go in half-heartedly and give your men a half-hearted style of leadership...the consequences could be devastating.

It's a hard decision, but not an impossible one. Marriage requires commitment, but it also requires compromise on both sides. Your deployments affect her and your children as much as you. Sometimes doing your best to not get shot up or hurt isn't any more difficult than it is for her to be mom and dad alone.

Whichever you choose, I wish you and your family the best of luck.

 

[Ghygdefvh111]

Thank you for your response. You are right I should be preparing my family more for this and I will start to do just that. I will continue to improve my leadership skills and knowledge. I will also prepare myself for the sacrifices I will have to make. Thank you for opening my eyes to this.

I'm stewing on this and to be frank, I'm pretty pissed off. I'm not going to play "Internet Tough Guy" but I will be blunt and very critical. I say this as a former NCO who earned a commission. I also have almost 9 YEARS in Afghanistan as a contractor and while I don't consider myself an expert I do consider myself educated.

You need to either change your focus and prepare your family for the change or forget wearing a uniform.

The sad reality? You will do well in the Army or AF with that attitude because we have far too many of "those people" in uniform. The whiners, the complainers, the "me, me, me" crowd, the guys who use their family as an excuse for EVERYTHING...I haven't seen it all but I've seen a lot. All I can read in your posts are how you don't want to put out your family or yourself emotionally. Guess what? That mentality will pose a significant penalty on your men. It smacks of weak to no leadership and sets the wrong example. The men and women who exhibit the "values" you espouse in your posts are hands down some of the worst so-called "leaders" I've worked for and with in almost 20 years of service to our country.

We have guys on this board with a family and 5, 6, 7 deployments under their belt. Is there a toll on those relationships? Without a doubt. They balance the obligations as best as they can, but ultimately the family will lose some arguments and place second at times. That's a cold reality.

So either change your focus and make sure your family is acutely, painfully aware of this change OR stand up and admit that your time in uniform is about you OR cut slingload and remain a civilian. Don't try to fake the funk and hide behind some higher goal and then demonstrate your selfishness. We have too many of these worthless oxygen thieves in uniform now and they are one of many reasons why Iraq and Afghanistan are an "L" on the scoreboard.

Own your choice, but your men deserve the best.

I would like to start out by saying that I greatly respect your time in the service. To be honest all of you are right. Whether I enter Special Tactics or not my family will more then likely have to sacrifice and so will I. Much more than I realized at first. I am glad I posted this because it really helped to put it in perspective. I still am unsure of what career I plan on pursuing but I will definitely take what you have all said and prepare myself and my family for the sacrifices rather than trying to find some ideal where "no one loses." Whether I enter special tactics or not I will promise you that I will not use my marriage as an excuse for things. You helped me to realize that sometimes, if not the majority of the time my team needs to come first. I have a lot of thinking to do obviously so I will not be posting on these boards. However, I hope that you can rest a little easier knowing that you have helped me to realize these things. I thank you again for your time and experience.

There isn't one of us here that desires to suddenly leave their spouse behind due to being shot or blown up in a foreign land because we were sent there to do our duty. Nor is there any one of us that would want to orphan our children for any of the same reasons as mentioned above.

I have been married 27 years. I have never added up the years that I have spent away from them that I will never get back, but I know that it was several. That is a fact of life -- the life that I and wife chose. Did she want me leaving her alone to go off to some rathole for God knows how long? Nope...but it was my job and she knew it and dealt with it. Did she ever learn to like it...nope. But, she learned to deal with it and accept it as a fact of life. Those were choices we made and choices we accepted.

I was in a position where it was my job to pull triggers, set up ambushes, and take real estate from people that didn't want to give it up. There is an inherent risk in that line of work. However, much like the plumber goes to work and changes pipes every day of their life, combat arms does the same. They go do what they do -- day in and day out. That's just the way it is. If your wife doesn't get that...then you probably don't need to go into anything that will take you away from them. Find another way to serve. There is no dishonor in that, but if you go in half-heartedly and give your men a half-hearted style of leadership...the consequences could be devastating.

It's a hard decision, but not an impossible one. Marriage requires commitment, but it also requires compromise on both sides. Your deployments affect her and your children as much as you. Sometimes doing your best to not get shot up or hurt isn't any more difficult than it is for her to be mom and dad alone.

Whichever you choose, I wish you and your family the best of luck.

I would also like to thank you for your service and experience. Obviously I have some thinking to do. Your insights into marriage were very helpful and I honestly feel that I understand the sacrifices more now. I guess for some reason I pictured some couples not being bothered by it but that is clearly not true. Again I apologize for my ignorance and I thank the people in this thread who shared their experience with me. I understand that My team needs to come first because their lives are on the lines. I hope to become a good leader one day and I believe that you gentlemen have helped to put me more on the right path to understanding the part of leadership that is sacrifice. Thank you guys very much once again.

 

[0699]

This thread is AWESOME!!

if I were not married I would happily die for my my country.

Fuck that, I'll let the other poor SOB die for HIS country...

RPV crewmember allows you to be operational

Only if we choose a very broad definition of "operational"...