How likely is this?

[Hix]

I wondered if I could get some input with regards to someone I met, and on how likely this is to be true and would be very grateful for any thoughts...my apologies in advance for coming across as stupid.

When we met he said he was a dog trainer, when I asked what rank he was, he replied he didn't have a rank and that he didn't exist, no contract either. He then said he belonged to one of the European SOFs, and then their task force. He had to this point spent 2 years in Missouri previously.

Over 3 months, he went from being a dog trainer to having been SOF for 9 years, to TFxx to a desensitisation programme, to some sort of special agent for another intelligence agency, to SOF trainer signing a 10 year contract, to short combat deployment, to resigning and being a dog trainer for military and police.

Many thanks again

 

[TLDR20]

He is lying

 

[Teufel]

I wondered if I could get some input with regards to someone I met, and on how likely this is to be true and would be very grateful for any thoughts...my apologies in advance for coming across as stupid.

When we met he said he was a dog trainer, when I asked what rank he was, he replied he didn't have a rank and that he didn't exist, no contract either. He then said he belonged to one of the European SOFs, and then their task force. He had to this point spent 2 years in Missouri previously.

Over 3 months, he went from being a dog trainer to having been SOF for 9 years, to TFxx to a desensitisation programme, to some sort of special agent for another intelligence agency, to SOF trainer signing a 10 year contract, to short combat deployment, to resigning and being a dog trainer for military and police.

Many thanks again

Slightly less likely than Dennis Rodman convincing Kim Jung Un to voluntarily give up his nuclear weapons program.

 

[Hix]

Slightly less likely than Dennis Rodman convincing Kim Jung Un to voluntarily give up his nuclear weapons program.

Lol thank you very much to you both! ... pretty crazy ride, and that was the extremely light summary.

I had thought bs early on,..some crazy folk out there

 

[Marauder06]

EXTREMELY unlikely.

 

[AWP]

he replied he didn't have a rank and that he didn't exist, no contract either.

The second you hear this the answer is "poser." All other details are superfluous.

 

[Hix]

Yep, I did think that at the time...unfortunately, he upped the drama and risk exponentially to what became too far. Never wanting to turn my back but that's what some feed on.

It didn't make sense, I have known SOF friends in the past and who passed away. A lot of manipulation was used ..

It got to the point of my requiring a personal escort from my home to an airport with chartered flight scheduled in order to meet a clearance interview and that being postponed due to a casualty...it escalated a lot more from there.

I am so grateful to you all for responding, and for validating, sanity checking it...I was pretty cut off. Thank you

 

[TLDR20]

This guy sounds pretty emotionally abusive. Maybe you should talk to a therapist. M

 

[Hix]

Thank you. Yes, so it seemed to have become. Some of the things I really don't think I could speak to your average therapist about. I went through it like it was real, and I had to come to terms with it. Fraud or not, I went through it. The fraud part helps to put some perspective.

 

[Red Flag 1]

I don't know if your relationship with this fraud/poser is ongoing or not. You won't be able to fix him and he will bankrupt you emotionally, and financially. Put as much distance between you and him as you can.

Because you will always wonder about his reality base, the best advice I have is to make a clean, total break from this guy. There is a pretty good possibility that he may become a stalker. He may need you in his fantasy world so that he can feel important and complete. It is time for him to leave your world and go bother someone else. These guys are predators looking for naive, trusting souls to corrupt and totally engulf them. Each lie becomes bolder than the one before and after a few years, they become pretty good at their con. There are guys who have conned people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with their stories of bravado, and big plans for the future. When the truth comes out, they are nothing at all like they portrayed themselves, many have zero military experience.

I wish you luck and hope you can lose this guy with no further damage.

 

[Hix]

Thank you for your message. Just to check quickly, I don't think I can send private messages until I am at member status?

 

[Hix]

I don't know if your relationship with this fraud/poser is ongoing or not. You won't be able to fix him and he will bankrupt you emotionally, and financially. Put as much distance between you and him as you can.

Because you will always wonder about his reality base, the best advice I have is to make a clean, total break from this guy. There is a pretty good possibility that he may become a stalker. He may need you in his fantasy world so that he can feel important and complete. It is time for him to leave your world and go bother someone else. These guys are predators looking for naive, trusting souls to corrupt and totally engulf them. Each lie becomes bolder than the one before and after a few years, they become pretty good at their con. There are guys who have conned people out of hundreds of thousands of dollars with their stories of bravado, and big plans for the future. When the truth comes out, they are nothing at all like they portrayed themselves, many have zero military experience.

I wish you luck and hope you can lose this guy with no further damage.

Thank you for your message, and I agree whole heartedly.

I did end it a couple of months ago, and had tried to finish it on multiple occasions throughout. He never asked for money, however, with the backtracking of his career, I think it may have been heading that way.

I don't believe it was one of those Nigerian type scams, it was quite elaborate, complex and 'sophisticated' on an every day living normal basis, despite the extraordinary claims he could be very convincing. It could be hard to understand how someone could lie so consistently, real time and with random information. Without wanting to point out the obvious, he seemed unstable and potentially dangerous.

I am a fairly streetwise person and had challenged on each unlikely statement or event and frankly his very erratic and impulsive behaviour which I would have thought would not lend itself to that profession (those in SOF that I have met before were pretty solid, mature and intelligent men). However, without wanting to go into specifics in a public area and not wanting to give any other like minded individuals any ideas, I will leave it there.

Happy to provide more info, that may be useful via pm

 

[Marine0311]

I suggest you cut ties and move on. This person is a poser and a liar. Plain and simple.

 

[AWP]

I'm locking this simply because there's not much more to be said. He's a fraud, cut ties, move on with life. If this is an "it's complicated" situation, then frankly you wasted our time. I do wish @Hix the best of luck with this situation.