To answer the first question: I am going in to my senior year after this summer.
You and Warchief are completely correct: I am the only one who can answer that question. I do not need anyone to answer that question for me. The doubt is not in my conviction, the doubt is in it being the right choice for my life. The reason there is any doubt is this: I have grown up in a pretty privileged habitat, and there are many people who would say that my decision to go into the military period, Special Forces even the more is foolish. There are those who would convince me to "rise to my full potential", which they believe is becoming some sort of millionaire- having a nice house, being happily married, having a good job, etc.
But I would say no. There is no greater rise to potential than becoming part of the brotherhood of Special Forces, bearing the burdens, and living a life of sacrifice. That, to me is making more difference in the world than could ever be made elsewhere. The accolades associated with the "other" life do not attract me. I am willing endure the suffering, the suck, the time, and the effort to gain the satisfaction that few will ever experience. In the recent weeks I have come to terms with all of this and genuinely made the decision within my mind. I don't care what those around me say, I believe that SF is the highest calling, and it is what I was made to do. Don't tell me I shouldn't or I can't, because I should, and I most definitely can.
I know that was a long post, but now I have explained myself.
