Downtown “Funky Stuff” Malone🍆
Verified Military
C.U.N.T.= Can't Understand Normal Thinking...
Valentines Day
- Thread starter Gunz
- Start date
When it comes to women N. Fucking. O.
We made dinner, I bought a bottle on Ninth Island champagne, it’s from an island off Australia. FFS.
I bought her a beautiful orchid...naw...
Well it was $5.00 reduced from $75 ( I kid you not)! Yep, Ima cheap cunt.
Guess she saw me coming, buys me a faggoty pair of board shorts. No escape now, I have to wear ‘em. Farkin, V Day.
It's ok to be a cheap cunt, instead of a card joking about deportation and expensive ass flowers I'm going with boxed wine and a drive in movie. It's sad when 38 degrees feels like it's beautiful out, but I got blankets so it'll be nice.
At least you were somewhat entertained.
I went to a music recital from a local performance arts group in a church.
If it wasn't for the carpeting, the acoustics would have been perfect.
If it wasn't for the carpeting being imbued with the remnants of bake sales, potlucks and other shit communities are fond of, I wouldn't have felt as though I was in section 8 housing.
Churches are a pain in my ass. My wife has to open the doors for me, lest a lighting bolt arces through my hand and forearm as I reach for the knockers. Like on Christmas Eve 2002.
Speaking of, old church ladies with absurdly large mammaries playing the flute can be yet another trick of the devil.
I went to a music recital from a local performance arts group in a church.
If it wasn't for the carpeting, the acoustics would have been perfect.
If it wasn't for the carpeting being imbued with the remnants of bake sales, potlucks and other shit communities are fond of, I wouldn't have felt as though I was in section 8 housing.
Churches are a pain in my ass. My wife has to open the doors for me, lest a lighting bolt arces through my hand and forearm as I reach for the knockers. Like on Christmas Eve 2002.
Speaking of, old church ladies with absurdly large mammaries playing the flute can be yet another trick of the devil.
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2012
- Messages
- 12,828
That is a VERY different song if sung by a man....
I won't be afraid to touch myself
It's all right
I said it's all right
I don't think it's wrong to touch yourself
Ain't nothing wrong with making it feel good
Every night I get away
And I think about it baby
You are on my mind
I ain't afraid to touch myself
I don't need nobody else
Oh, the things you must have experienced with Bob Costas.
Halfpipe indeed.
Halfpipe indeed.
Hey honey, if you ever read this thread, I was just joking, ha ha ha.
Dame
Member
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2010
- Messages
- 3,367
You all are a bunch of whiny bastards akin to the poor deflated ball-less flower toting idjits Ocoka and I saw today.
Why did I see them? Because I went to the grocery store.
Why did I go to the store? To get my new prescriptions from my doctor's appointment.
Why a doctor's apt today? Because... even though she's a she, and even though I don't do gals, that grope was the best date I'll have all year.
So happy fucking Valentine's day to me.
Embrace the suck.
You whiny little buggers.
Why did I see them? Because I went to the grocery store.
Why did I go to the store? To get my new prescriptions from my doctor's appointment.
Why a doctor's apt today? Because... even though she's a she, and even though I don't do gals, that grope was the best date I'll have all year.
So happy fucking Valentine's day to me.
Embrace the suck.
You whiny little buggers.
Luv ya long time!
Right hand or left hand?
I wager left. Feels like a stranger's.
Devildoc
Verified Military
Honestly, it's fine. We are so busy with our son's birthday activities (party, etc), we are good. Now when he splits to go to college, the military, whatever he wants to do when he is 18, I suppose then maybe we'll do something to acknowledge Valentine's Day. But even before him, it never really was a big deal to us.
Serenity
Unverified
- Joined
- Aug 30, 2017
- Messages
- 89
Since having kids, it’s all about the kids. Valentines this year:
7 y.o daughter at school pick-up: Mummy, we didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day at school. I don’t know what we would do, but I thought we’d do something! I was disappointed.
Me: Aww, I suppose it would’ve been nice if you got to colour in a love heart!
Husband at station pick-up: I didn’t get you anything for Valentines!
Me: Whatever.
7 y.o daughter at school pick-up: Mummy, we didn’t do anything for Valentine’s Day at school. I don’t know what we would do, but I thought we’d do something! I was disappointed.
Me: Aww, I suppose it would’ve been nice if you got to colour in a love heart!
Husband at station pick-up: I didn’t get you anything for Valentines!
Me: Whatever.
