Not Work Safe .

Since I know that this place has arfcomers among us, I was reading a friend's post today on Facebook talking about gecko45 from Glocktalk. People were sayiong that he's the most famous. I begged to disagree. The legendary McUzi rant at Garandman was something spectacular and quite honestly has yet to be equally matched or surpassed by.

For those not in the know or needing a refresher, here ya go:

McUzi rant. I am saving this here in case I need it.

The McUzi Rant > General Discussion > AR15.COM​

 
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Give me 13 minutes, 7 seconds, three slices of cold, day-old pepperoni pizza from Domino's and a double Jack & Coke and I'll turn out a rant to make that McUzi girl's post sound as appetizing as a McDLT in a room full of environmentally hyperconscious gluten-free vegans.

You see, the thing is, McUZI's tirade is little more than misplaced vitriol; a symphony of insults so over-the-top that it borders on self-parody. I'd almost commend the dedication to such mindless hyperbole, but I have a seven-layer burrito from Taco Bell burning a hole in my colon - give me a few minutes to get this handled and I'll be right back...




OK where was I?
...it’s not every day one encounters a rant that reads like the fever dream of a middle schooler who just discovered a thesaurus. McUzi's silly
attempt to assassinate Garandman’s character explains why the Secret Service doesn't really see a gunman on a sloped roof as a relevant threat.
For all the effort poured into that diatribe, it’s it seems like the only injury to Garandman was a metaphoric graze wound to his right earlobe.

On the other hand, McUzi's credibility looks like it may have gotten the Tommy Crooks treatment. A towering monument of insults, but like a house of cards on a sloped roof at close range, some folks just don't have the verbal marksmanship skills needed to really shine when the chips are down.

Let’s address the heart of the matter: frustration.

It’s evident that Garandman’s posts have struck a nerve, but rather than engaging with his ideas or offering a coherent counterpoint, that McUzi person (trying hard not to assume gender) opted for a tantrum disguised as wit. It reads less like a debate on the issues and more like a cry for attention. I'm sure that all of the "McSycophants" probably believe that this rant is cutting and topical, but this kind of rant reveals more about the posters insecurities than it does of Garandman’s character.

True savagery doesn’t require a thousand words. It doesn’t need to wish pancreatic cancer or stubbed toes upon someone. True savagery is concise, intelligent, and, most importantly, rooted in truth. The rant at the link above is none of these things. It’s the literary equivalent of a toddler flinging spaghetti at the wall, hoping something sticks. Maybe even a howler monkey throwing its own shit at tourists.

It reminds me of something I heard in my earliest days of lurking bulletin boards on CompuServe towards the end of the last millennium...
...arguing with someone or the internet is a lot like finishing first in the Special Olympics. Even though you got a Gold Medal, you're still fucking retarded.


That is all.
 
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Box said:
Give me 13 minutes, 7 seconds, three slices of cold, day-old pepperoni pizza from Domino's and a double Jack & Coke and I'll turn out a rant to make that McUzi girl's post sound as appetizing as a McDLT in a room full of environmentally hyperconscious gluten-free vegans.
Click to expand...

Broheim, you're fucking lit today! Plus, you're channeling our sister, RK (miss you) with the eloquent speech.

I'm emotional and mildly aroused.
 
Box said:
Give me 13 minutes, 7 seconds, three slices of cold, day-old pepperoni pizza from Domino's and a double Jack & Coke and I'll turn out a rant to make that McUzi girl's post sound as appetizing as a McDLT in a room full of environmentally hyperconscious gluten-free vegans.
Click to expand...

Muppet said:
Broheim, you're fucking lit today! Plus, you're channeling our sister, RK (miss you) with the eloquent speech.

I'm emotional and mildly aroused.
Click to expand...
cat-typing.gif
 
547395638_122151262364779922_1383963507213569231_n.jpg
 

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