I have for the longest time been considering joining the military but the issue is my family . My father can deal with it but my sister and mother have however not been for lack of a better word supportive . I understand they are worried but my mother especially the one time I merely talked to a recruiter had a breakdown and I mean a bad one so advice ?
Advice on how to deal with family ?
- Thread starter Rodlfo99
- Start date
My father had a shit experience in the Navy, during Vietnam. Might have been partially due to his "Go to war or go to jail" type scenario he was in, or his own internal issues.
My mom was my mom, mom of an only son.
Neither were very supportive and outright weren't going to let me enlist up until the point that I had made plans upon graduation (and had saved money to execute) to purchase a greyhound ticket to get to friends in Tennessee, and live with them until I turned 18. Then enlist under my own power.
Surprisingly, they both decided to acquiesce and sign my papers to let me enlist at 17.
They can't stop you once you're 18, and the trip is yours to take. If they shun you for service, well.....I would have choice words to apply, but will remain polite.
My mom was my mom, mom of an only son.
Neither were very supportive and outright weren't going to let me enlist up until the point that I had made plans upon graduation (and had saved money to execute) to purchase a greyhound ticket to get to friends in Tennessee, and live with them until I turned 18. Then enlist under my own power.
Surprisingly, they both decided to acquiesce and sign my papers to let me enlist at 17.
They can't stop you once you're 18, and the trip is yours to take. If they shun you for service, well.....I would have choice words to apply, but will remain polite.
My sister is a pacifist, but we still talk.
Man up and make a decision on what's best for you.
You gonna let mom and sis pick your girlfriends too?
I made my own decision.
My parents did not know I was enlisted until I finished boot camp.
Be an adult.
My parents did not know I was enlisted until I finished boot camp.
Be an adult.
Your intro says you are starting college in the fall. Here is my two cents:
1) You can put a price on education, and it is more expensive in time, money, and energy, to postpone school rather than get it done now. If you've started college, get through it. Give it a couple years and if it isn't for you, then join up. If it is for you, then finish school and get your degree. You'll be better for it and you'll learn a lot about self-discipline (staying in shape when everyone else wants to party, for example), scheduling, organizational management, and stress management because of it. You may also get some study abroad or other opportunities which will enhance your understanding of the world, and be more fun in general. The military will always be here, waiting patiently for willing volunteers.
2) If you're 18, you're a legal adult. Joining the military is one of the first adult decisions you'll get to make on your own. Don't let anyone take that first choice away from you. It's not your Mom or Sister or Dad enlisting, it is YOU.
3) You're not responsible for other peoples' reactions. You are responsible for keeping your word, doing your job well, and being a good man. If you forgo the military for college, do your best and strive to be the best. Same if you decide to enlist. Titles, accolades, and jobs will come and go, but your dignity and integrity are yours alone to protect.
Do yourself and your family justice by doing your research and coming to your own conclusions. For example, "Mom, Sis, I've talked to a lot of service members, former and current, and I know this experience will help me develop into a better man. I want to serve my country, maybe for a few years, maybe a career. I found that I might be a good fit for these jobs, plus I'll get valuable leadership training, etc." If they still are upset, then okay, it happens. You'll learn this sooner than most but it is okay for people to feel angry, upset, or sad. Those are normal human emotions and sometimes they have to run their course. You do what you know is right and do it well.
1) You can put a price on education, and it is more expensive in time, money, and energy, to postpone school rather than get it done now. If you've started college, get through it. Give it a couple years and if it isn't for you, then join up. If it is for you, then finish school and get your degree. You'll be better for it and you'll learn a lot about self-discipline (staying in shape when everyone else wants to party, for example), scheduling, organizational management, and stress management because of it. You may also get some study abroad or other opportunities which will enhance your understanding of the world, and be more fun in general. The military will always be here, waiting patiently for willing volunteers.
2) If you're 18, you're a legal adult. Joining the military is one of the first adult decisions you'll get to make on your own. Don't let anyone take that first choice away from you. It's not your Mom or Sister or Dad enlisting, it is YOU.
3) You're not responsible for other peoples' reactions. You are responsible for keeping your word, doing your job well, and being a good man. If you forgo the military for college, do your best and strive to be the best. Same if you decide to enlist. Titles, accolades, and jobs will come and go, but your dignity and integrity are yours alone to protect.
Do yourself and your family justice by doing your research and coming to your own conclusions. For example, "Mom, Sis, I've talked to a lot of service members, former and current, and I know this experience will help me develop into a better man. I want to serve my country, maybe for a few years, maybe a career. I found that I might be a good fit for these jobs, plus I'll get valuable leadership training, etc." If they still are upset, then okay, it happens. You'll learn this sooner than most but it is okay for people to feel angry, upset, or sad. Those are normal human emotions and sometimes they have to run their course. You do what you know is right and do it well.
Red Flag 1
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My father was a WW II draft avoider. Got a job as a farmer to stay out of the concflict, and he was rather proud of that.
My younger 1/2 brother was a draft dodger For Viet Nam. He self eleminated USAF ROTC, quit college, and ran away to Canada, on his father's dime. I was on active duty in the Army
I was career military. I did not ask their opinion or blessing; my choice and my life. As @TLDR20 points out, I cut the cord pretty early in life.
My younger 1/2 brother was a draft dodger For Viet Nam. He self eleminated USAF ROTC, quit college, and ran away to Canada, on his father's dime. I was on active duty in the Army
I was career military. I did not ask their opinion or blessing; my choice and my life. As @TLDR20 points out, I cut the cord pretty early in life.
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I'm not currently in the military, but I've had similar experiences. There have been choices I've made that some or all of my family didn't support that I decided to do anyway (like transferring to an out of state college). I made the choice that I felt was right for me in each of the instances I didn't always have their support. Even though I was told some of my choices were wrong or mistake, I do not regret a single one. Not all of those decisions panned out like I had expected, but they didn't end badly for me either. They were the life lessons Agoge mentioned...Most importantly, I grew, matured, and started figuring out what I wanted to do with my life because of those choices. All things I felt I needed before I enlist...
Make your choice and stand by it. Don't be an ass about it, but you have to make your decision for you. It's you're life, so live it.
Make your choice and stand by it. Don't be an ass about it, but you have to make your decision for you. It's you're life, so live it.
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- Dec 15, 2013
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- 86
Neither of my parents really supported me joining before I left for boot camp.
All I knew was that I was 21 and tired of working construction and roofing.
They came around after I shipped to boot camp and became even more motivated about the
Marines than I was.
I'll go ahead and second everyone's response saying go for it even without their blessing.
It's your life and let it be one hell of a ride, or keep the cord attached.
All I knew was that I was 21 and tired of working construction and roofing.
They came around after I shipped to boot camp and became even more motivated about the
Marines than I was.
I'll go ahead and second everyone's response saying go for it even without their blessing.
It's your life and let it be one hell of a ride, or keep the cord attached.
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