Babies

Gunz

Combined Action
Verified Military
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Jun 29, 2014
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Now that our first grand baby was born in May, baby stuff is coming back to me.

Babies are like fat little tubes of poop toothpaste. You’re fussing all over them, aw, she’s so cute, maybe she’ll be an Olympic athlete someday, or maybe even president. Then the little baby’s face kind of starts scrunching up, like she’s straining a little and everybody says, oh, look, how cute, baby’s making a funny little face, ain’t that the cutest thing…and then all of a sudden you get hit with the stank. Baby’s thinking, there you go, motherfucker, there’s your big pile of cuteness right there. Welcome to the jungle.
 
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I'm not a parent, if God allows Maria and I, I'll be the best dad I can. That said...

I'm in awe as I get older. There's alot of difficulties in life but I believe, being a parent is one. The woman carries that baby, a part of her, your DNA, hers, 9 months, baby born.

Now, both parents need to raise that baby into a productive member of society. That's a fucking awesome feat.

All these years in EMS, I see the cunts that were not raised right or the cunts that were but strayed, the parents most likely stand by that cunt.

It's crazy to me. I'm terrified of kids. It's why I took all these pediatric courses and became an instructor. My wife, others I know, kids are easy to them. Me, WTF is wrong kid? Lol

I recall about 10 years ago, started shift, call for pediatric cardiac arrest comes in, my partner (EMT) and I take it, the off going medic jumps on with us.

6 month old female, probably SIDS, we work the code, I intubate the kid, partner drills IO, meds, CPR, kids gone, we tried. Blue limp baby.

The mothers wails, I swear I can still hear em.

Parents, one of the toughest jobs, IMHO
 
I think most parent are blessed with a special grace for specific seasons in their lives. My youngest sister-in-law has several very young children, as do a couple nieces and nephews. My tolerance for infants is very low now, especially as we had our 6 kids in 9 years.

But I will say this: in many ways infants and toddlers are worlds easier to deal with than some of the drama heavy bullshit my older teens bring to the mix.
 
Randomly, one of my little brothers (I have 3 little brothers in the Army) got orders to the same base for the exact same amount of time as I did. So, naturally, we lived together. I had the distinct pleasure of sharing a space with a 1 and 3 year old (now almost 3 and 5).

My kids are 17 and 15- I had forgotten about all things "kid" until this last season in my life.

Children are innocent (not good), completely uncivilized suicide machines, that puke (if they're not pooping) until they cry and are occasionally cute.

Imagine if humans grew like other animals- you'd have a 6 foot tall 200 lb human with the mentality of a 5 year old- and the world would be in absolute chaos.
 
I'm not gonna get into the details, but I have a baby about to come into my life in a couple weeks. No not from the ex and no not a grand child.

My youngest is about to turn twelve, and I'm like his brother is literally gonna be 18 when his brother turns six... FML🙄

I'm gonna be that dude at the football games... "hey your grandpa is really a dick" that not my grandpa thats my dad!🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️💀
 
I'm not gonna get into the details, but I have a baby about to come into my life in a couple weeks. No not from the ex and no not a grand child.

My youngest is about to turn twelve, and I'm like his brother is literally gonna be 18 when his brother turns six... FML🙄

I'm gonna be that dude at the football games... "hey your grandpa is really a dick" that not my grandpa thats my dad!🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️💀

How old are you??
 
I'm not gonna get into the details, but I have a baby about to come into my life in a couple weeks. No not from the ex and no not a grand child.

My youngest is about to turn twelve, and I'm like his brother is literally gonna be 18 when his brother turns six... FML🙄

I'm gonna be that dude at the football games... "hey your grandpa is really a dick" that not my grandpa thats my dad!🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️💀

I'm 44 with a 8 and 4 year old. I am that dude.
 
I was 34 with my first, 43 for my last. I'm closer to 54 than 53, my youngest is 11...so (doing mental math), I'll be 60 when she's 18?

Yeah, I get it.....
Yep pretty much in the same boat.

I'm embracing it as best I can, not that I'm really worried. But just think about how my dad died at 62, and gets me in my head...
 
Yep pretty much in the same boat.

I'm embracing it as best I can, not that I'm really worried. But just think about how my dad died at 62, and gets me in my head...

My dad died when he was 39 (I was 8). I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief when I hit 40, so I get it.

The biggest problem for me (if it is a problem) is that a lot of my peers are talking retirement, and I am like "I got an 11 year old, I ain't ever retiring."

@AWP , with six kids people feel like they can be lippy in their remarks to us: are all of those yours? (answer: only the good looking ones; no, the rest are at home; only the smart ones). You know what causes that? (answer: no, why don't you tell me? low street value, I got them cheap).
 
Randomly, one of my little brothers (I have 3 little brothers in the Army) got orders to the same base for the exact same amount of time as I did. So, naturally, we lived together. I had the distinct pleasure of sharing a space with a 1 and 3 year old (now almost 3 and 5).

My kids are 17 and 15- I had forgotten about all things "kid" until this last season in my life.

Children are innocent (not good), completely uncivilized suicide machines, that puke (if they're not pooping) until they cry and are occasionally cute.

Imagine if humans grew like other animals- you'd have a 6 foot tall 200 lb human with the mentality of a 5 year old- and the world would be in absolute chaos.
That describes my day to day pretty well
 
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