Flame Retardent Kevlar Boxer Shorts

I had a pair of Massif nomex boxers I would wear on vehicle patrols. They didn't stop any bullets or anything but they didn't feel any different than a pair of hanes and they protected the boys from fuel accelerated IEDs.
 
I've worn the ice breaker sports jocks for years. Nothing like a bit of merino to keep things from scorching.

Pardus wears them also as the wool on his privates reminds him of his first sexual experience.
 
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