Not Work Safe Gut Busters, Knee Slappers, and Otherwise Tasteless Jokes

[HAMMER11]

When is @#%& acceptable?

The “F” Word
When is @#$% acceptable?
There are only ten times in history where the"F" word has been considered acceptable for use.
They are as follows:

10. "What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking?"
-- Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912

9. "What the @#$% was that?"
-- Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945

8. "Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from?"
-- Custer, 1876

7. "Any @#$%ing idiot could understand that."
-- Einstein, 1938

6. "It does so @#$%ing look like her!"
-- Picasso, 1926

5. "How the @#$% did you work that out?"
- Pythagoras, 126 BC

4. "You want WHAT on the @#$%ing ceiling?”
-- Michelangelo, 1566

3. "Where the @#$% are we?"
-- Amelia Earhart, 1937

2. "Scattered @#$%ing showers, my ass!"
-- Noah, 4314 BC

1. "Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out?"
-- Bill Clinton, 1998

Life is tough-- It's even tougher if you're stupid! John Wayne,
" I 'm too old to go soldiering any more , too stiff in the joints to
ride point and too damn fat to wrestle drunks".
Any day they don't pat you
on the face with a shovel is a good one.

 

[pardus]

 

[Gunz]

What the @#$% was that? Mayor of Hiroshima

BWWWAaaaaaaahahahhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 

[Ooh-Rah]

You missed a couple:

How can I fuck over America next?
-Obama

What the fuck do I do?
- Biden

Who the fuck cares anymore?
- Hillary Clinton

 

[Red Flag 1]

Now ^^^^^^^ is pretty @$!#ing funny; an instant @$!#ing classic!

 

[digrar]

When is @#%& acceptable?

The “F” Word
When is @#$% acceptable?

One or more in every sentence draws comment, but if you can limit it to every 3rd or 4th sentence, you'll get away with that in my world.

 

[x SF med]

What the fuck was this fucking thread about anyfuckingway?

 

[Dame]

What the fuck was this fucking thread about anyfuckingway?

• <--

 

[RackMaster]

Fuck this shit.

 

[HAMMER11]

Boys should not play with cow shit in pastures, but alas they walk among us.
http://www.bu2z.com/v/petard-dans-bouse-de-vache

 

[x SF med]

• <--

No, I believe that was a different thread.

 

[Dame]

No, I believe that was a different thread.

You're thinking of .

 

[Red Flag 1]

Boys should not play with cow shit in pastures, but alas they walk among us.
http://www.bu2z.com/v/petard-dans-bouse-de-vache

Yup, and they vote too; we have proof. What did the numb skull think would happen, I mean really? Is there any other possible outcome?

 

[Gunz]

Hoisted on his own petard. Or is it retard?

 

[HAMMER11]

Ranger Magic Trick.

A Marine and a Ranger go into a pastry shop.

The Marine whisks three cookies into his pocket with lightning speed. The baker doesn't even notice.

The Marine says to the Ranger, "You see how clever we are? You Rangers could never beat that!"

The Ranger says to the Marine, "Watch this, any Ranger is smarter than you, and I'll prove it ."

He says to the baker, "Gimme a cookie, I'll show you a magic trick!" The baker gives him the cookie, which he promptly eats.

Then he says to the baker, "Gimme another cookie for my magic trick." The baker is getting suspicious, but he gives it to him. He eats this one too.

Then he says again, "It'll take one more cookie..." The baker is getting angry now, but gives him one anyway. He eats this one too.

Now the baker is really mad, and he yells, "OK ... so where is your famous magic trick?"

The Ranger says ...

" Now look in the Marine's pocket!"

 

[JWoody]

Classic

 

[racing_kitty]

That's good stuff!!

 

[Red Flag 1]

I think I just blew a cookie out through my nose, or was that part of the trick too?

 

[Ooh-Rah]

Funny - I heard the joke slightly different.

 

[8654Maine]

Buddy's only half the word.

Just like a Ranger.

That was a good one.