Trigger
Unverified
Hello community of ShadowSpear,
First off I would like to say that it truly is a great pleasure to have found a community such as this one. Organized, authentic and reputable. Sources of information and new friends, such as this community, are invaluable to folks like myself. Currently, I am a 25 year old bachelor with delusions of grandeur. I would like to turn those delusions into well educated goals towards grandeur. This community absolutely screams education and support!
So, about myself:
I was born in Fayetteville, NC and semi-raised in a small town called Amherstburg in Ontario, Canada. I was also born into a religion that strongly dissuaded its followers against any position of armed service(especially military); in fact being grounds for expulsion. Still, the desire to serve in a capacity that involved protecting and aiding those who do not currently have the capability of doing so for themselves consumed me in my single digit age range. There truly is nothing else in this world that I have held in higher regard, throughout all my life, than that of sacrificing oneself for another, to whatever extent that one has to go to.
My life has been a series of never-ending loops around the blue-collar block. First job was in a corn field at the age of 14. After that, an elderly man in my congregation needed help in the labor portion of his holistic business. I delivered, cleaned and installed 5 gallon water systems in elderly folks homes. My work with him lasted 2 years until my Uncle, in Tucson, began undergoing amputation in his right leg below the knee due to cancer. I was going through a rough bout in my religion, thanks to a crank call me and my best friend made to his uncle(an Elder), so my family sent me down to care for my Uncle and his house while his wife worked full-time(with ridiculous amounts of over-time). I was 17 and it was October 27th the day I arrived in Tucson. Still here, with much rejoicing.
An Elder in my Uncle's congregation offered me a job in his Arbor business(specialized tree care). I took it, and worked for him for the next 5 years, with a 1 year break in between. During that 1 year break I lived in Mexico. My parents wanted a change of scenery, so they moved to the Baja and offered for me to go with them. The decision was primarily religion based(preaching work), so I came along with them. It was my experience in Mexico that shined a light on who I really was and am as a Human.
I fell in love with the wrong woman(according to the Elder body of my congregation) in Mexico. She was older than I and had children. We were both expelled for having sex before marriage(for myself this was not the first sexual related sin I committed). So at the ripe age of 20, on July 7th, I was ejected into the world I lived in but never knew. I moved back to Tucson and began working for the Arbor company again(he had since left the religion!). Unfortunately that man became a raving lunatic, overly indulging in conspiracies ranging from religion-based to "there's lizard-men walking among us in invisible suits controlling everything". While that is really freaking hilarious, it also really is the truth. He believes it. To this day.
Removal from that religion is very much the equivalent of being the last person alive in the world. No friends, no family, nothing you feel you can call home and everything you ever knew and loved is absolutely gone. Sadly, saying "everything" is not an exaggeration.
So I rebuilt myself. From scratch. From 21 to now is the time period in which I became who I am and was always meant to be.
As if being born anew into the world, not knowing left from right, I rebuilt and completely redefined myself as a Human and a man. Internally the process was, more often than not, extremely violent and volatile. I had chosen to rely on no one and nothing and simply beat my head against the wall until the wall or my bone cracked and gave in. Though the wall lost(
), I have since matured approximately 1000%. Some stubbornness is, quite simply, ridiculous.
Externally, people never guessed the unimaginable pain I was in. Loneliness, fear, pathetic feelings of inadequacy and lack of motivation for anything and everything. Even sex lost its appeal. The only thing I could think and feel was the raw determination to move forward. I refused to be beaten down by something I knew I could control; myself.
Years pass by, jobs are taken and forgotten(with lessons learned) and friends are made. Most importantly, I was able to find people throughout these last 4 1/2 years to proudly call my family. Who I am, internally and externally, is a complete 180 from the broken, almost-lifeless scrap of a human I was after being removed.
So here I am. 25 year old Daniel. And after all this time, what do I want to do? The same thing I've always wanted to do! Become a Human who sacrifices anything and everything for his fellow man.
The faculty in which I wholeheartedly choose to express that desire is, without question, Pararescueman.
Thank you for enduring the wall of text that is my story.
I look forward to the journey that is life with you all.
First off I would like to say that it truly is a great pleasure to have found a community such as this one. Organized, authentic and reputable. Sources of information and new friends, such as this community, are invaluable to folks like myself. Currently, I am a 25 year old bachelor with delusions of grandeur. I would like to turn those delusions into well educated goals towards grandeur. This community absolutely screams education and support!
So, about myself:
I was born in Fayetteville, NC and semi-raised in a small town called Amherstburg in Ontario, Canada. I was also born into a religion that strongly dissuaded its followers against any position of armed service(especially military); in fact being grounds for expulsion. Still, the desire to serve in a capacity that involved protecting and aiding those who do not currently have the capability of doing so for themselves consumed me in my single digit age range. There truly is nothing else in this world that I have held in higher regard, throughout all my life, than that of sacrificing oneself for another, to whatever extent that one has to go to.
My life has been a series of never-ending loops around the blue-collar block. First job was in a corn field at the age of 14. After that, an elderly man in my congregation needed help in the labor portion of his holistic business. I delivered, cleaned and installed 5 gallon water systems in elderly folks homes. My work with him lasted 2 years until my Uncle, in Tucson, began undergoing amputation in his right leg below the knee due to cancer. I was going through a rough bout in my religion, thanks to a crank call me and my best friend made to his uncle(an Elder), so my family sent me down to care for my Uncle and his house while his wife worked full-time(with ridiculous amounts of over-time). I was 17 and it was October 27th the day I arrived in Tucson. Still here, with much rejoicing.
An Elder in my Uncle's congregation offered me a job in his Arbor business(specialized tree care). I took it, and worked for him for the next 5 years, with a 1 year break in between. During that 1 year break I lived in Mexico. My parents wanted a change of scenery, so they moved to the Baja and offered for me to go with them. The decision was primarily religion based(preaching work), so I came along with them. It was my experience in Mexico that shined a light on who I really was and am as a Human.
I fell in love with the wrong woman(according to the Elder body of my congregation) in Mexico. She was older than I and had children. We were both expelled for having sex before marriage(for myself this was not the first sexual related sin I committed). So at the ripe age of 20, on July 7th, I was ejected into the world I lived in but never knew. I moved back to Tucson and began working for the Arbor company again(he had since left the religion!). Unfortunately that man became a raving lunatic, overly indulging in conspiracies ranging from religion-based to "there's lizard-men walking among us in invisible suits controlling everything". While that is really freaking hilarious, it also really is the truth. He believes it. To this day.
Removal from that religion is very much the equivalent of being the last person alive in the world. No friends, no family, nothing you feel you can call home and everything you ever knew and loved is absolutely gone. Sadly, saying "everything" is not an exaggeration.
So I rebuilt myself. From scratch. From 21 to now is the time period in which I became who I am and was always meant to be.
As if being born anew into the world, not knowing left from right, I rebuilt and completely redefined myself as a Human and a man. Internally the process was, more often than not, extremely violent and volatile. I had chosen to rely on no one and nothing and simply beat my head against the wall until the wall or my bone cracked and gave in. Though the wall lost(
), I have since matured approximately 1000%. Some stubbornness is, quite simply, ridiculous.Externally, people never guessed the unimaginable pain I was in. Loneliness, fear, pathetic feelings of inadequacy and lack of motivation for anything and everything. Even sex lost its appeal. The only thing I could think and feel was the raw determination to move forward. I refused to be beaten down by something I knew I could control; myself.
Years pass by, jobs are taken and forgotten(with lessons learned) and friends are made. Most importantly, I was able to find people throughout these last 4 1/2 years to proudly call my family. Who I am, internally and externally, is a complete 180 from the broken, almost-lifeless scrap of a human I was after being removed.
So here I am. 25 year old Daniel. And after all this time, what do I want to do? The same thing I've always wanted to do! Become a Human who sacrifices anything and everything for his fellow man.
The faculty in which I wholeheartedly choose to express that desire is, without question, Pararescueman.
Thank you for enduring the wall of text that is my story.
I look forward to the journey that is life with you all.
