Mental Fitness, Resilience, and Spiritual Health

Years ago, while on the DMZ in Korea, I suddenly got hit with a nervous breakdown. I was sent to the BN Command Sgt Major and his first words were: "You are taking leave to go home to unwind". My response was that I couldn't afford it. The best words that he responded with, and I still remember it was: "If your car or refrigerator breaks down you make away to get it fixed. Well your body is breaking down and you can not afford to not get it fixed." 30 days later I was fine. Your body and mind are an integrate machine and needs rest. That is one of the reasons the military says to take 30 days vacation a year. Reach out to others. I am here, as well as others, to help.
 
1st Special Forces Command shared one of our articles on Twitter. It's always gratifying when something we do helps the SOF community. I think a lot of people here might relate:
The Masks We Wear: An SF Soldier Speaks Out • The Havok Journal


It was only after I had left the team having completed my team sergeant time, that I began to see the number of changes I had endured over 15 years and 8 combat deployments. I started to realize that my family saw me in one way, depicting an emotion with a particular mask. This mask has the characteristics that, I act cordial, I eat, sleep, and attempt to be a good dad and husband, and I help where I can.




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The number of times while enlisted sitting next my squad mates having a good time. I would be smiling and joking about everything, going along with the banter. When behind the smile, the only true thought in my head was how badly I wanted it all to end. The nightmares, self doubt, depression, anxiety of letting other down and not being up to the task. I don't know how I made it another decade after this, it baffles me that I just kept going. Now that I am older, more experienced and actually happy. I can only remember thinking, "tomorrow will change, and if not, the next day might be the day." I hung on to this until, and didn't even realize the day I let go of it.

for everyone who is struggling with mental health issues, struggle a little harder, and go get the help. Find someone who is willing to listen, call an old buddy, call you friend, call a family member. Fuck, go to the police station and talk to a police officer. Ask for a Crisis Intervention Officer (CIT) officer, if they have one. I am a Police Officer, I am here for you everyday of the week, twenty-four hours of the day. I'd rather watch you cry and blow snot all over my shirt, then stare at your dead body for 4 to 8 hours.

Suicide scenes are not fun, its unpleasant, it hurts, it is so fucking hard to tell a family their loved one took their own life. Especially when they show up with the entire troupe in tow. I don't get a choice in my response to calls, but if I can prevent a call from ever happening. I will do my fucking best to do so. I love you, this community loves you, and we want you to be here with us, Not in memory, but in reality.
 
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