Post intro update. Soon to be CCT DEP'er

[jjgli]

I'll first give a quick recap of my intro post back at the beginning of December.
I am a 27 yo husband and father of two youngins. I have been attempting to enlist since October '14. Because of my extra 10 years extra of 'life experiences' than most enlistees, there have been a few bumps in the road. I am trying to secure a CCT contract...

I thought I'd post an update to my enlistment situation. A couple months after my initial intro, I seem to have cleared the qualifying complications. I was approved for a waiver for a local income tax charge which finally allowed me to go to MEPS. I am officially a lowly DEP'er.
The local recruiting sqdrn had a CCT job that went unbooked last month so if I can pass my first official PAST test this coming Tuesday, the slot is mine to ship May 3rd. The next couple days are mostly rest days before testing and I'm feeling good.
The last couple weeks have been interesting as reality is starting to set and I attempt to convince my wife that leaving her and my two kids behind for a year of training will long term be good for us. I don't like the idea of leaving but I have a serious drive for this opportunity and she knows that, and I think she understands the desire. I guess to be more accurate, I'm less convincing her that things will be fine, and more pleading with her to be okay with this decision.

Thanks for listening all. I'm taking all avenues available to vent my thoughts. Happy Sunday /\

 

[SkrewzLoose]

You're pleading with your wife to be OK with a life altering (your life, hers and your kids) decision you made? Did you not discuss it with her at all before hand? It seems like all of that should have been cleared up before you went to MEPS. :-/:wall:

 

[AWP]

The last couple weeks have been interesting as reality is starting to set and I attempt to convince my wife that leaving her and my two kids behind for a year of training will long term be good for us.

It isn't my place to say you will or won't fail or how your marriage will, if at all, survive this. I am gobsmacked that your wife wasn't already on board and you've less than 90 days to talk her into a life altering decisions AFTER you've enlisted?

I hope it works out for you, but your post above has literally given you a higher probability of failure personally and professionally. You've created a huge distraction and one which has killed many a marriage and/ or saw guys lose their focus.

Good luck.

 

[jjgli]

We've known since I started the process that I was going for CCT. I think she may have been hoping to convince me into another job. She is still pushing linguist solely for more time at home. She goes back and forth with her approval of the job. My wife is not one to simply stand by my side and go along with whatever I tell her we're doing. She will express her opinion/preference and will make sure her opinion is heard. Considering how many "cushy" jobs are available to me in the AF and how few are combat related, it's hard for a lot of my family to understand why I would choose a job that takes me away so frequently.

 

[jjgli]

As things are moving along and the leave date is approaching, reality is setting in for her- realizing this is actually happening after a year and a half trying to make it happen. She's understandably scared for me to leave. I definitely didn't spring this on her but I think maybe both of us were unsure that I would even be approved after multiple waiver processes (and selling our house.)

Thanks very much guys for your input. Choice may be one of our only true freedoms in life so I guess that explains why they can be so difficult. I want this so freaking bad.

 

[medicchick]

My wife is not one to simply stand by my side and go along with whatever I tell her we're doing. She will express her opinion/preference and will make sure her opinion is heard.

That's all fine and dandy but at the end of the day her job is to support you and make your job easier. It's your career and she's along for the ride. I used to joke that I was the mistress in the marriage, the Army was the wife when RP was in 3/75. She called and he always answered. I wasn't going to be the reason he gave up a dream and might become bitter and resentful. If that's what your wife does it's time for a long talk about the future. A spouse is a guest of the military, anything we do is reflected on the service member. MAke sure she is on board 100% or the suck will be much worse. She needs to be ready to be alone while you are training and be able to handle anything that comes up from kids to cars to house without you there. I'm sure others will disagree with what I wrote but from the wife side of SOF I saw the good and the bad.

 

[SkrewzLoose]

The fact that you (jjgli) continue to say "I" when you have a wife and 2 kids speaks volumes.

 

[Jael]

Speaking from personal experience in the military being married with kids before I joined. You better square away your family - you made a commitment to them before you thought about joining. It does not matter what job you do, you're going to sacrifice time and miss out on important things. Think about it before you sign the line, set you and your family up for success before you ship out.

 

[jjgli]

More great words of wisdom. Thanks medicchick.

Right off the bat, being away for a year before they can PCS to Hurlburt does not make this decision any more enticing for her. Talk about jumping right in to the deep end.

 

[jjgli]

The fact that you (jjgli) continue to say "I" when you have a wife and 2 kids speaks volumes.

Good observation skrewz. It does not feel at all like we are making this decision. I am making this decision and asking her to support me in it.

 

[jjgli]

Thanks @Jael. Did your partner have reservations about you joining?

 

[Jael]

Thanks @Jael. Did your partner have reservations about you joining?

Yes, My wife was Army Intel for 9 years so she understood the military - that did not take away her reservations though. There are upsides, you'll have housing, a bit more money, living on base isn't to bad because of all the amenities. With that said, I wish I would have gone to marriage counseling before I joined. My marriage nearly im/exploded at Tech, I did not set myself up correctly, I had no skills for doing long distance and I was nearly divorced because I didn't pay attention to my wife/kids and just wanted to do cool shit. A bad marriage can make you lose complete focus in a heartbeat, even if your marriage is great and doing wonderful now - I would still recommend seeing a professional to help build a skillset for when you are gone. You might be doing nice and awesome but she's going to be taking care of the kids by herself and you won't be able to be there to help. So if you are weak as shit on your emotional support game, you're gonna have a bad time.

Also, this hit me when I finished a year + in school. My kid looked different when I came back, and she looked at me differently because I was gone for so long. With all that said, it's completely possible to maintain a great marriage and enjoy the new challenges ahead, people have done it before so its not impossible but it is completely up to you both to make the commitment to each other to make it work.

 

[DA SWO]

We've known since I started the process that I was going for CCT. I think she may have been hoping to convince me into another job. She is still pushing linguist solely for more time at home. She goes back and forth with her approval of the job. My wife is not one to simply stand by my side and go along with whatever I tell her we're doing. She will express her opinion/preference and will make sure her opinion is heard. Considering how many "cushy" jobs are available to me in the AF and how few are combat related, it's hard for a lot of my family to understand why I would choose a job that takes me away so frequently.

Linquists are on the road a lot, maybe as much as CCT. Language determines how long tech school is, and the final DLAB routinely fails honor students.

As things are moving along and the leave date is approaching, reality is setting in for her- realizing this is actually happening after a year and a half trying to make it happen. She's understandably scared for me to leave. I definitely didn't spring this on her but I think maybe both of us were unsure that I would even be approved after multiple waiver processes (and selling our house.)

Thanks very much guys for your input. Choice may be one of our only true freedoms in life so I guess that explains why they can be so difficult. I want this so freaking bad.

A Military Wife needs to be independent when required, and you need to understand the house is her domain; you can't pop in every few months and demand she change shit.

Good luck.

 

[Towelthief]

Having been in your shoes a year ago feel free to ask me questions about the pipeline and what you are about to embark on.

Although my wife was pregnant with our second child when I signed up, my first child was a couple years old. She was 100% for my enlistment in the AF and my decision with CCT. She had help at home and lived around family the entire time of my pipeline experience but those crazy pregnancy emotions got her stressed out a few times a week and while I was at schools I got some 'loving' text messages and calls that didn't exactly help my situation on trying to focus on the tasks at hand. Although it is entirely possible for guys in our shoes to make it, your wife needs to be 100% in and ready. If you're "pleading" with her before you've left for basic it's not a good start.

Being gone for a year is a perfect, very perfect situation.....actually pretty unlikely. Most likely you won't see Hurlburt until 18 months and that's if you don't get a washback in Selection, ATC, or CCS. It happens a lot, even to the best fit or smartest guys. I got one at ATC. The guys I know at CCS, 2 out of the 3 of them (22 in basic), were washed back at different schools.

CCT is special in that it is the only 'Battlefield Airmen' AFSC that you will not be PCSing your family until you get to Hurlburt and you can expect a 5-6 month stay at Medina while you wait for your CCS date. With the other BA AFSCs you can PCS your family after a certain point in your pipeline (correct me if you think I'm wrong here). It's great if you don't have a family, but even then I knew and know guys that have been stuck there for years because of washbacks and waiting to get cleared to get to a school. Even waiting to get discharged after schools sometimes can take a long time.

I self initiated my elimination because I had lost my motivation and saw a better opportunity (or what I thought) to go through that wasn't as hard on my current family situation. I was given to the needs of the AF and was away from my wife for 11 months total. I got to go home for a week once, and 2 long weekend trips in that time. My daughter changed a lot but with today's technology still recognized me and I saw my second childs birth in my dorm room. I plan on retraining but this time since I'm prior service I will just go to the school and then back to my duty station and wait for the next school instead of waiting at Medina. My wife is still 100% for my retraining and is now even more confident in her abilities to take care of things at home while I'm away. It was good practice if anything, we both now know what to expect out of it.

If you are committed to doing this, start saving for the plane tickets Home, and to Texas and Mississippi, or gas money if they're closer. That $250 separation pay will help a little.

 

[Kheenbish]

Second what towelthief said. Although SOWT stopped with the PCS to weather school, due to difficultly with getting the families housed and it being to distracting.
Coming from basic you will have last priority for schools, slots go out to retrainees and guard/reserve candidates first. You'll be gone longer than a year before a pcs to hurby.
Finally don't expect every long weekend to be able to go see your family, yes most times you most likely could, but your team messes up cadre will take that away. Your wife will have to realize that the team will come first.

 

[Devildoc]

My dad was already in the Marines when he met my mother. He retired from the Marines, and we joked the only reason they did NOT divorce was because of the separation. No man in his right mind would live with that woman on a full-time basis.

I was in the Navy after I met my wife. She never fully embraced the commitment, even in the reserves, especially after 9/11 when every swinging dick was leaving. Although she wasn't THE reason I left the Navy, she and my children were part of the reason. If you don't have 100% commitment, it is an uphill road to travel.

 

[DA SWO]

Having been in your shoes a year ago feel free to ask me questions about the pipeline and what you are about to embark on.

Although my wife was pregnant with our second child when I signed up, my first child was a couple years old. She was 100% for my enlistment in the AF and my decision with CCT. She had help at home and lived around family the entire time of my pipeline experience but those crazy pregnancy emotions got her stressed out a few times a week and while I was at schools I got some 'loving' text messages and calls that didn't exactly help my situation on trying to focus on the tasks at hand. Although it is entirely possible for guys in our shoes to make it, your wife needs to be 100% in and ready. If you're "pleading" with her before you've left for basic it's not a good start.

Being gone for a year is a perfect, very perfect situation.....actually pretty unlikely. Most likely you won't see Hurlburt until 18 months and that's if you don't get a washback in Selection, ATC, or CCS. It happens a lot, even to the best fit or smartest guys. I got one at ATC. The guys I went through with in basic Nov 14' are just now at CCS. I know 2 out of the 3 of them (22 in basic) who were washed back at different schools.

CCT is special in that it is the only 'Battlefield Airmen' AFSC that you will not be PCSing your family until you get to Hurlburt and you can expect a 5-6 month stay at Medina while you wait for your CCS date. With the other BA AFSCs you can PCS your family after a certain point in your pipeline (correct me if you think I'm wrong here). It's great if you don't have a family, but even then I knew and know guys that have been stuck there for years because of washbacks and waiting to get cleared to get to a school. Even waiting to get discharged after schools sometimes can take a long time.

I self initiated my elimination because I had lost my motivation and saw a better opportunity (or what I thought) to go through that wasn't as hard on my current family situation. I was given to the needs of the AF and was away from my wife for 11 months total. I got to go home for a week once, and 2 long weekend trips in that time. My daughter changed a lot but with today's technology still recognized me and I saw my second childs birth in my dorm room. I plan on retraining back into CCT or TACP but this time since I'm prior service I will just go to the school and then back to my duty station and wait for the next school instead of waiting at Medina. My wife is still 100% for my retraining and is now even more confident in her abilities to take care of things at home while I'm away. It was good practice if anything, we both now know what to expect out of it.

If you are committed to doing this, start saving for the plane tickets Home, and to Texas and Mississippi, or gas money if they're closer. That $250 separation pay will help a little.

Good luck on the retraining, I would have a hard time re-selecting you for CCT as you already SIE'd.

For the OP:

It's not an easy journey, quitting means someone who has the drive and desire will not get the chance because you took their slot.
Don't quit.

 

[Towelthief]

Good luck on the retraining, I would have a hard time re-selecting you for CCT as you already SIE'd.

That's one of the reasons they have the prior service phase 1&2 assessments. Luckily some cadre understood where I was coming from.