PTSD

[The Hate Ape]

That topic I know, I've always kind of blew it off until I came to reality 15 minutes ago with my wife. Not the cliche news headline material but my personality, harsh memory loss and odd shifts in my mentality are examples that I never realized were actual PTSD examples. I thought it was just me getting dumber for unknown reasons. I mean that in no offense to others but I literally forget things constantly to where I make lists in my bathroom the night prior for when I get ready and leave sticky notes on my stearing wheel for followup. I'm physically out of my norm and get internal emotional spikes that can literally throw an entire day's productivity out the window.

Reading this alone ironically has me wondering how I denied it - my mother-in-law and my wife have known since June/July but decided not to force it onto me.

Now I believe many of us downplay our personal experiences that lead to this and thus never allow ourselves to be categorized as at or beyond the imaginative threshold of what we would consider a PTSD rendering experience.

Worse; I feel stuck - as if this is just the way I'll be forever, mentally affected while in a constant state of awareness.

I can't see it in any of my team members - they seem to be having a great day every day while I just feel awkward and now mentally disabled. Once again no offense to anyone its just my personal experience.

H/A

 

[AKkeith]

PM inbound.

 

[Ranger Psych]

Welcome to the club. Respect to the 'Namvets, but you can go to any group counseling session and get a lifetime's worth of experience on what the fuck not to do to get yourself on some semblance of the right track again. Actively pursuing understanding of what it takes for you personally to regain what's been lost is key, imho.

First group counseling session ran by my counselor up in AK, I was the "young buck" literally. Only "current era" vet there. Everyone introduced themselves and a short list of everything that not addressing PTSD helped them fuck up severely. Everything from marriages to ankle monitors being worn in the group.

Do yourself a service and attack the shit back with requisite intensity and you'll be able to get back on track for the most part. Meds suck, but do help in my experience for the short term at a minimum till you start learning coping mechanisims.

 

[medicchick]

If you do go the counseling route (which I recommend since eduction on the subject is important) try and find one that will include your wife in some sessions. As RPs in Alaska said "I can treat and educate the veteran/service member all day long but it's a family issue and they need to understand as well".

 

[pardus]

@The Hate Ape, so many vets have some form of PTSD. It's not something to run from and think you are weak/soft etc... That is NOT even part of the equation. It's a normal reaction to abnormal/traumatic events. You MUST realize this. It's OK to be affected by this, a huge percentage of us are.
Now, that said, You should reach out to places that understand this and can talk to you about it. Don't try to "deal with it alone" That's the wrong answer.
This is no different to being shot or breaking a bone during a deployment, it's a recognized deployment injury, one not defined by a specific event. That means, you do not have to have your best friend die in your arms to "justify" PTSD. Civilians get it all the time from car accidents, rapes, attacks etc...
Your issues are legit. DO NOT BLOW THEM OFF.

I'm a medic, if you want to chat I'm here for you Brother. Please do, I would really appreciate it.

 

[x SF med]

A member of this board had to come to my AO for some inpatient PTSD counseling... I 'broke him out' a few times to do absolutely irrelevant relaxation shit in the woods/lake/grabbing chow/talk and know you have somebody to cover your six stuff... I've been told that this helped as much maybe more than the actual 'incarceration'... we may have had a beer or three also.

Having people you can trust to not be judgmental, but listen, offer advice and be honest with you is going to help the most. Those people are usually a mixture of professionals and true friends who care enough to be 100% truthful with you.

 

[Marauder06]

Have you been diagnosed or are you just assuming you have it? See a doctor bro.

 

[The Hate Ape]

No diagnosis just came to the conclusion before bed - I'll talk to our SARC today about getting a Wizard appointment and see what he says.

 

[Gunz]

Do that. I agree with Ranger Psych, stay away from group counseling at VA, sad to say too many old non-hacks trying to work claims. However, a small group session with a few combat vets in your age bracket who share similar experiences can be very beneficial. I've BTDT bro but I would never presume to give you advice...but x SF med, Pardus and others here I'm sure can give you some valuable guidance. Good luck.

 

[Marauder06]

Good call brother. A lot of what you're experiencing MIGHT be PTSD, but it could also be indicative of something that is easier to treat (or more serious). Some of what you're describing could be sleep apnea... or it could be PTSD or cancer or any number of other things. Glad to hear you're going to get a professional diagnosis.

 

[RackMaster]

Good call on getting a professional assessment. No matter what the cause, know we're all here for you; some of us have personal and professional experience with mental health. Just like any injury, early intervention increases recovery potential and it's possible to regain a semblance of "normal".

Keep us updated.

 

[Marine0311]

Get any and all help you need bro.

 

[reed11b]

Vet Center. PM me your location and I'll find the closest one too you.
Reed

 

[Red Flag 1]

There is an absolute truth about man: Self, can not see self. That said, we need to listen to others when it comes how we are really doing. You H/A, are fortunate to have people close to you that care for you, and that you trust their observations. Those are all pluses for you, and I am very encouraged, not only about the tremendous support system, but your decision to look this down professionally. I do not know if you have PTSD, or something else at the core, but these things do not travel alone. It is often accompanied by the use of substances, to numb, and help one to simply get through the difficult days. The single most important thing to bring with you to the, "Wizard", is brutal, frank honesty. I have a pretty good feeling about the outcome for you, and this can be dealt with successfully.

I am further encouraged in the fact that you have reached out to friends here at SS. We will do all we van to help you. You will be getting private mailings from us. Ome will be from me. If you eed anything, please call; you are not alone. My thoughts and payres are with you.

 

[Gunz]

Vet Center. PM me your location and I'll find the closest one too you.
Reed

Vet Centers are good. Smaller, more one-on-one contact, most are OIF/OEF oriented, as they should be. And many of the councelors are combat vets.