The U.S.S. Illinois

racing_kitty

Sister Mary Hellfire
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Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like the Navy is going to toy around with the notion of an all-female unit as opposed to making all-male units co-ed. The recently commissioned U.S.S. Illinois will have an all-female crew. Link to story here.

WASHINGTON -- First Lady Michelle Obama has officially sponsored the USS Illinois, the first Navy submarine to be staffed by an all-female crew, the White House said Monday.

I've long held the belief that females in the infantry can be better managed with an all female unit (recent epiphanies WRT physiological consequences notwithstanding) in stead of co-ed. While this is by no means the same as 11B, it should prove to be one helluva learning point for all parties involved. I don't know if this will work out well, but I do wish them the best, and look forward to seeing the end result no matter how it pans out.

Thoughts?
 

CDG

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Lol. This will be a catastrophe. With no men to pick up the slack when the chicks don't feel like working, how is anything going to get done? You can't pull the cramps card now. Not too mention that the female berthings tended to be FAR dirtier and nastier than any of the male berthings. Think used hygiene products just thrown back into a rack, or on the floor. And add to all this the fact that women tended to have far more problems with each other than the men did with each other. Needless to say, my experiences with 99% of the women I served with were not positive. You try to not let it bias your thinking too much, but based on what I saw and experienced an all-female crew is a terrible idea.
 

AWP

Formerly Known as Freefalling
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At least the 160 sailors go out and 80 couples return jokes are still valid though we lose references to "seamen" thanks to this. In to each life a little rain must fall.
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How are they going to staff an entire boat with cooks?
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Can a woman apply eye liner and drive a sub at the same time?
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At least the ocean doesn't have a left lane for them to drive slow in.
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How will they accomplish anything without a man to nag?
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USS Illinois, the only sub to loop Sex and the City and the Twilight series for an entire patrol.
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Will the COB be referred to as the "Den Mother?"
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Maybe they can be the first to break the glass thermocline.
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"Flood the forward tubes!"
"How? Mine are tied."

Sigh, I can do this all day. <3's!
 

racing_kitty

Sister Mary Hellfire
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CDG, I'm willing to bet that some of the cat fights on that boat will be hellacious. The neat freaks will NOT tolerate the used tampons laying around, and the gung-ho females will NOT tolerate the girlie girls. It's been my experience that a male/co-ed chain of command will actively discourage the issue from coming to a head, while all the other males will make book on the side as to which bitch wins; that is, if they didn't just take up a collection for the gung-ho type to cover her NJP and lost pay if she just laid the other one flat out on her ass (please don't ask me how I know).

What I see happening is this first float will be a fucking nightmare. There will be an AAR that most likely won't matter, because the only way this mission would go down as a failure is if the Illinois sinks to the bottom of the sea. Hopefully, and this is looking through pinot noir-colored glasses, the other branches would take a look at the kind of female that it would take to pull off a unit like this, and make their judgments accordingly. That includes the judgment that "This shit simply will not work, and now we have empirical proof."

Personally, I believe that once the Navy has figured out what the "right kind" of female is, they won't be able to scrounge up 160 like-minded estrogen vessels to make it happen. Talking to a friend in PSYOPS, she says that the FET's are having trouble getting enough women as it is, and that's about as close to combat arms as women can get right now. So we'll see...
 

TLDR20

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Who would command this boat? Last I checked we do not have a competent group o well trained female sub commanders. I wonder what the average service in the sub corps a Captain would have. 20+ years at least.... This is absurd.
 

racing_kitty

Sister Mary Hellfire
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Who would command this boat? Last I checked we do not have a competent group o well trained female sub commanders. I wonder what the average service in the sub corps a Captain would have. 20+ years at least.... This is absurd.

Perhaps another incarnation of Horrible Holly Graf?
 

SkrewzLoose

Something Clever
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How did I miss this earlier...it's going to be a goddamn sub full of WRENS!
2015...they have 3 years to change their minds.
 

Etype

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They're going to play the The Notebook in the chow hall and the whole ship is going to be out of commission until they all recover.
 

Brill

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Who would command this boat? Last I checked we do not have a competent group o well trained female sub commanders. I wonder what the average service in the sub corps a Captain would have. 20+ years at least.... This is absurd.

Very valid point. All boat skippers have come up from young LtJg qualified on submarines as logistics (O-2) then engineers (O-3). At the O-4 level, they either become XOs (SSNs) or Div Offs (SSBNs) so I do wonder how much time under their belts they will have before taking command or even the lower ranking officer levels. Hell, how will they even staff it the boat with SNCOs?

Mixed crews on SSNs will never work: two people cannot pass by without rubbing bellies. 70 days underway and a chick rubs her lovely lady humps against a sailor? Game over. Heads (aka bathrooms) on a boat? Shit, I think on a 688 (LA class) there are two for non-CPOs and you can only shower every other day. Laundry? Weekly I think.

Granted, my experiences are from the early to mid-90's when Etype was in fricken grammar school. Damn it!
 

0699

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We need a "Fuck yeah I agree" option.

A minimum of three countries would get nuked that week. Not necessarily our enemies either...

The more I think about this, there'd probably be some individuals being targeted with missles.

Like the guy who invented the "size zero" jeans. Almost every woman hates him. And they have the entire IC available to hunt him down.
 

Chopstick

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With no men in the galley, what happens when it's time to open a new jar of mayo?
You know, this is so true. I cant. I have never in my life been the one to open the new mayo. Maybe they will have those squirty bottle kind of mayo.
 
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