What defines a Great Attitude? In the pipelines (grinding through the grinder), and on the teams?

KOh1

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I've heard different opinions about this question; but I'd love to hear from this community. How can one strive to attain a good/great attitude? How can one prove to be a good asset to the community/teams (that is, if one makes it)?

So far, I have heard..
  • Don't take anything personally
  • Be other's focused
  • Don't strive to be the best, assess the climate of any environment before being ambitious (focus on the team, not JUST yourself, I'm guilty of not adhering to this one, but this is a personal habit I am trying to currently work on)
  • Be an observer, when new in any environment (don't try to prove yourself to soon, also guilty. of this one).
  • Kindness goes a long way
I'd love to hear advice from you guys, I'd love to know how to be a good fit for a high-speed team environment, and hopefully be an asset, in the future!
 

KOh1

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Joined
Nov 7, 2019
Messages
17
I've heard different opinions about this question; but I'd love to hear from this community. How can one strive to attain a good/great attitude? How can one prove to be a good asset to the community/teams (that is, if one makes it)?

So far, I have heard..
  • Don't take anything personally
  • Be other's focused
  • Don't strive to be the best, assess the climate of any environment before being ambitious (focus on the team, not JUST yourself, I'm guilty of not adhering to this one, but this is a personal habit I am trying to currently work on)
  • Be an observer, when new in any environment (don't try to prove yourself to soon, also guilty. of this one).
  • Kindness goes a long way
I'd love to hear advice from you guys, I'd love to know how to be a good fit for a high-speed team environment, and hopefully be an asset, in the future!
Additionally, what have you guys noticed about the guys that were a great fit?
I think some of your answers are buried in here if memory serves.

Appreciate the resource!
 

Arf

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Extremely selfless individuals are the ones that stand out the most. To take on more however you have to be strong enough. Be a top performer without stepping on anyone else, and always look for ways to make everyone else’s lives easier. If you can take more weight, find a way. If I you are a faster swimmer or runner, and you can find a way to push or pull the other guys who are struggling, find a way.

Be able to laugh and shrug everything off.

Stay positive. NEVER be the guy who complains. Repeat, “I love cold water. I love running. I feel great.” Out loud. Speaking words has an amazing effect on your will to go on.

Stay in the moment. When people start doubting if they can go on, remind others that their only goal is to make it to the next water break, or the next meal. What happens after that isn’t important.


In the SWCC pipeline, “being the gray man” wasn’t an option. We had one instructor for every 2 guys. They studied everyone of us intensely. In the SEAL pipeline, there are a lot of guys. There is an idea that if you stay out of the spot light you will do better. I disagree. I have seen guys who were gray men get pulled out for making one mistake when the instructors are head hunting for bodies to drop. If you are someone who stands out in a good way, the instructors will give you leeway when you find something you struggle with. If you get injured they will let you keep going, versus guys who don’t matter go away.
Once again, don’t be a gray man. Make a good impression. The era of being a gray man is over. The SEAL community is full, and they will pull you without hesitation because they don’t need to fulfill numbers.


Officers tend to be more successful because they spend so much more time worrying about the others than themselves. Be an inspiration to your boys. Keep them happy and motivated. I agree with “be other’s focused.”
 

Arf

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On the other hand, the fastest way out is to be the guy who is always last, to be the guy who is always ducking boat, or obviously not holding his weight on the log. It’s obvious who is looking to spare themselves pain. Be the guy who is willing to sacrifice his own comfort for others. People will notice. However like I said before, you have to be strong enough to be able to take on more without getting hurt.
 
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Arf

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Know a lot of jokes and be able to tell them very well. Make sure they are funny 😂. Practice telling them a lot.


Volunteer for everything no one else wants to do. People will remember. If you can be someone that takes a job that connects you some way to the instructors, even better. That being said, if you are the guy in charge of giving out watch schedules or giving out punishments/extra military instruction (EMI), you may make more enemies.
 
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KOh1

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Extremely selfless individuals are the ones that stand out the most. To take on more however you have to be strong enough. Be a top performer without stepping on anyone else, and always look for ways to make everyone else’s lives easier. If you can take more weight, find a way. If I you are a faster swimmer or runner, and you can find a way to push or pull the other guys who are struggling, find a way.

Be able to laugh and shrug everything off.

Stay positive. NEVER be the guy who complains. Repeat, “I love cold water. I love running. I feel great.” Out loud. Speaking words has an amazing effect on your will to go on.

Stay in the moment. When people start doubting if they can go on, remind others that their only goal is to make it to the next water break, or the next meal. What happens after that isn’t important.


In the SWCC pipeline, “being the gray man” wasn’t an option. We had one instructor for every 2 guys. They studied everyone of us intensely. In the SEAL pipeline, there are a lot of guys. There is an idea that if you stay out of the spot light you will do better. I disagree. I have seen guys who were gray men get pulled out for making one mistake when the instructors are head hunting for bodies to drop. If you are someone who stands out in a good way, the instructors will give you leeway when you find something you struggle with. If you get injured they will let you keep going, versus guys who don’t matter go away.
Once again, don’t be a gray man. Make a good impression. The era of being a gray man is over. The SEAL community is full, and they will pull you without hesitation because they don’t need to fulfill numbers.


Officers tend to be more successful because they spend so much more time worrying about the others than themselves. Be an inspiration to your boys. Keep them happy and motivated. I agree with “be other’s focused.”
Awesome advice, "I love cold water", is going to be my mantra when I'm in BUD/S.

I've heard a lot of people tell me being the "gray man", is the best way to go, glad there is another side to the same coin. I am definitely not the type to gray man. Hopefully, I'll be able to make a great impression.

Considering going the officer route, I love helping others and would like to make sure they're doing well, in and out of the pipeline.
Extremely selfless individuals are the ones that stand out the most. To take on more however you have to be strong enough. Be a top performer without stepping on anyone else, and always look for ways to make everyone else’s lives easier. If you can take more weight, find a way. If I you are a faster swimmer or runner, and you can find a way to push or pull the other guys who are struggling, find a way.

Be able to laugh and shrug everything off.

Stay positive. NEVER be the guy who complains. Repeat, “I love cold water. I love running. I feel great.” Out loud. Speaking words has an amazing effect on your will to go on.

Stay in the moment. When people start doubting if they can go on, remind others that their only goal is to make it to the next water break, or the next meal. What happens after that isn’t important.


In the SWCC pipeline, “being the gray man” wasn’t an option. We had one instructor for every 2 guys. They studied everyone of us intensely. In the SEAL pipeline, there are a lot of guys. There is an idea that if you stay out of the spot light you will do better. I disagree. I have seen guys who were gray men get pulled out for making one mistake when the instructors are head hunting for bodies to drop. If you are someone who stands out in a good way, the instructors will give you leeway when you find something you struggle with. If you get injured they will let you keep going, versus guys who don’t matter go away.
Once again, don’t be a gray man. Make a good impression. The era of being a gray man is over. The SEAL community is full, and they will pull you without hesitation because they don’t need to fulfill numbers.


Officers tend to be more successful because they spend so much more time worrying about the others than themselves. Be an inspiration to your boys. Keep them happy and motivated. I agree with “be other’s focused.”
Thanks for the great advice, I will take it to heart.
 

digrar

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No longer in the desert, breaking rocks.
That's all you can do.
People go in with plans to be selfless, have a sense of humour, and be positive etc. That all turns to shit when your feet are in ribbons, you haven't eaten for 36 hours and you're on day 11 of being cold and wet. Then the real selfish, sly, conniving, miserable, humourless, argumentative, ignorant, belligerent bastard you really are deep in your heart comes out.
 

KOh1

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That's all you can do.
People go in with plans to be selfless, have a sense of humour, and be positive etc. That all turns to shit when your feet are in ribbons, you haven't eaten for 36 hours and you're on day 11 of being cold and wet. Then the real selfish, sly, conniving, miserable, humourless, argumentative, ignorant, belligerent bastard you really are deep in your heart comes out.
Sounds like I’ve got a lot to prove, then, 😂, I’m definitely some of those things, sometimes, guess I’m gonna have to work on my behavior, 😂.
 

AWP

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Speaking in general as an old guy with a few life experiences, not a SEAL or anything remotely close...

The military sees a lot of enlistees who are "lost" in the sense that they aren't mature enough for the world, don't know who they are, etc. They have bad habits, maybe bad personalities, maybe had a bad childhood. I knew I wanted to go to college, didn't know what I wanted to do, had some horrible habits, and quite a bit of immaturity. After about a year of wearing a uniform a lot of that went away. Some bad traits like procrastination have crept back into my life, but some are gone forever.

The military forces some of this out through schedules, peer pressure, self pressure to perform, teamwork, etc. Some of the behavior modification is self-driven because you need to "survive" or even better you learn that you want to excel. You realize that "it pays to be a winner" and you'll be damned if you'll fail because you didn't put out.

Of course, this doesn't work for everyone.

The flip side of this is if you're forcing yourself to change, especially drastic changes, you're burning some brain power to keep yourself in line. That could take your mind off of your situation OR it could make you doubt yourself; emotional baggage has a performance price.

This is why tests happen. This is why you're assessed and selected. I don't care if you're talking about SAT's, LSAT's, certifications, BUD/S, or whatever. You have an end state and you have a rough road to that end state, so what is that end state worth? Is it worth it to push through or do you throw in the towel? A test is a test and while they may vary, the basics do not. How bad do you want to succeed at something that not everyone can do?

Pay your money and take your chances or miss 100% of the opportunities you never attempted. This goes for life, not just for some tab, beret, or badge.
 
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