One of the things you can do, is find a place that allows you to try out firearms. It can save you money when you buy something that does not work out. The other thing, is to take her to a good gun shop and have her look at models. If you know other women shooters, they could help in selection. My daughter is not very big, under 100 pounds and about 5 ft tall, she can handle any firearm that I own. She has shot 1911, 44 mags etc. What I think is important is understanding the specific shooters needs and their idiosyncrasies about firearms. I am developing a little theory on recoil, I think it is more a brain thing, than physical force. What a person thinks or perceives is more important than actual physical recoil. I am trying to say, specifically stereo types break down when we deal with a specific person. Why there are firearms that specifically target the women market and generally deals with stereo type casting of women and firearms, specifically that may not mean anything.
Defining what she is going to use it for, what is acceptable in terms of felt recoil, ergonomics, and "secret sauce" (unknown externalities) helps in limiting a very wide field of great firearms to a firearm that will fulfill the needs. It seems to me, that many people decide on the best firearm to buy based on their own personal nuances. What works for me, may be a failure for you. The more experiences a person has with firearms, the easier to make this decisions and they can get pass their own personal nuances and make the firearm work for them.
Another little trick, is to buy what you like, that way if she does not like it, you get another firearm. :)
