Not Work Safe .

Today in "unhelpful staff products:"

What is this slide telling me? What do the letters mean? Does E mean "Everyone can go there?" or maybe "Eek! Stay away?" Something else? Is O indicative of "OMG no don't go there!?" Does C mean "come on in?" Or maybe it's "can't go there." And some countries are both C and E. "Can't escape?" IDK. Those letters only appear on that slide in the deck and aren't explained anywhere else.

What do the colors on the countries mean? there are two shades on the countries--red, and orange with white stripes. But there are 6+ colors in the map legend.

There are two shades in do not travel /restricted. OK. But there are three different shades in the legend for that header. What does yellow for Israel and Pakistan mean?

And what is a gray country? If Saudi Arabia is "do not travel," why isn't it red in the map? Or is that country suddenly not part of CENTCOM anymore so we DGAF?

If I'm looking at this and trying to plan for a trip, can I go to say Israel? I don't know. It's yellow, which means it's not "do not travel" or "restricted" (I guess?) but what does "restricted" even mean? What does "reconsider travel" mean? OK I've reconsidered. can I go now?

Folks, if you're making staff products, don't make them like this. Don't have marks (letters, in this case) that are not explained if they are not commonly understood, and make sure your products are least internally consistent (e.g. Saudi Arabia).

This is the worst type of product: not only is it not useful to decision makers, it also takes more time to try to interpret and have to follow up with the producers with questions. This kind of thing makes everyone's life harder and leaves a lot of room for people to get into trouble for misinterpretation.

...and this map appears to indicate that it's OK to go to Pakistan but not Egypt (which is black, which means restricted) LOL OK...

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That is worse than the Afghan graphic from 10-15 years ago or the DoD "How to operate a secure network" chart.
I know people like to make fun of that Afghanistan graphic but it made sense to me as a guy who did intel link diagrams regularly and was close to that problem set. I was fine with it and found it useful. Not familiar with the network chart, I'm sure it would confuse the hell out of me.
 

Well I'm just going to say it - as a staff guy that works in an ASCC Headquarters - that slide does not intimidate me one bit.
If we are being honest, I admire the craftsmanship.
I admire the confidence that it took to put such a slide up in the conference room.
I love that the letters do not correlate with the numbered levels.
I love that the colors/country in the legend do not match the color/country on the actual map.
I love that there are two Level-1's
...two Level 2's
...two Level 3's
...a single Level 4

In fact, I "Egg Plant Emoji'd" the post because the glorious inconsistency of that entire slide gave me a raging staff boner...
...the only thing that I can imagine being any better would be if the action officer handed out paper copies of the slide
...but all of the paper copies had been printed in black and white
...on a dot matrix printer

It's times like this that I wish we had a 'Two-Eggplant' emoji to respond with.
 
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That is worse than the Afghan graphic from 10-15 years ago or the DoD "How to operate a secure network" chart.
Ahhhh... Flashback! You should have seen me trying to navigate to get approvals for my real time network monitoring... It took 6 months to get approval to run a piece of software on the approved software list...
 
Well I'm just going to say it - as a staff guy that works in an ASCC Headquarters - that slide does not intimidate me one bit.
If we are being honest, I admire the craftsmanship.
I admire the confidence that it took to put such a slide up in the conference room.
I love that the letters do not correlate with the numbered levels.
I love that the colors/country in the legend do not match the color/country on the actual map.
I love that there are two Level-1's
...two Level 2's
...two Level 3's
...a single Level 4

In fact, I "Egg Plant Emoji'd" the post because the glorious inconsistency of that entire slide gave me a raging staff boner...
...the only thing that I can imagine being any better would be if the action officer handed out paper copies of the slide
...but all of the paper copies had been printed in black and white
...on a dot matrix printer

It's times like this that I wish we had a 'Two-Eggplant' emoji to respond with.
One of the reasons I'm annoyed about this specific product is the office it came from normally does really good staff work. I've worked with them for years and they've always been cooperative and responsive. If they were always screwups, I'd know not to rely on them. "Oh, that office sent all of us who are planning OCONUS trips some planning guidance? Finally, I'll get some answers and can begin planning!"

the staff office:

Seth Meyers No GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers


If I was a good colleague I'd approach them offline instead of going anonymously passive-aggressive about it on the Internet. Maybe I need to work on being a good person.
 
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