Not Work Safe .
- Thread starter Ooh-Rah
- Start date
Box
Verified SOF
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2018
- Messages
- 2,674
Let me see if I've got this straight...
In what can only be described as a plot twist straight out of a Coen Brothers movie, a quadruple amputee has been accused of shooting someone during an argument, driving away with the body, and then ditching it in a yard.
A man with no arms or legs is not only the centerpiece of a murder investigation, on his not so murderous downtime, he is a championship "CORNHOLE PLAYER"
...and had probably been on ESPN
...it would only be so much more out of this world if he played on "The Ocho" with a Pirate named Steve !!!
...and if I'm still reading at a 3rd grade level, police are saying HE ACTED ALONE
This fucking guy is the MacGyver of murderous cornhole players gone rogue.
Tragic by every measurable account and simultaneously absurd to a degree that is almost impossible for me to wrap my head around it. In spite of all this, I can't help but wonder - what in the name of peace and midnight basketball does one have to do to light the fire needed to drive a quadruple amputee into shooting someone to death and then dumping the body...
...without any help?
How?
What?
WHAT ??
It is no wonder that there is such a near Hollywood level trope of Detectives descending into alcoholism after too long on the job...
...well no fucking shit.
A quadruple amputee that plays the fuck out of cornhole, drives his own car, shoots people, and then has the fucking audacity to ask his passengers, "hey, help me get this dead guy out of my car" - sounds like a pretty good reason for me to look for answers in the bottom of a bottle full of Jack Daniels.
This HAS to be an Onion article - or something from the Babylon Bee - or proof that there is a rip in the fabric of space and time.
...I've said it before - THIS IS ONE HELL OF A CRAZY TIMEINE WE ARE LIVING IN !!!
In what can only be described as a plot twist straight out of a Coen Brothers movie, a quadruple amputee has been accused of shooting someone during an argument, driving away with the body, and then ditching it in a yard.
A man with no arms or legs is not only the centerpiece of a murder investigation, on his not so murderous downtime, he is a championship "CORNHOLE PLAYER"
...and had probably been on ESPN
...it would only be so much more out of this world if he played on "The Ocho" with a Pirate named Steve !!!
...and if I'm still reading at a 3rd grade level, police are saying HE ACTED ALONE
This fucking guy is the MacGyver of murderous cornhole players gone rogue.
Tragic by every measurable account and simultaneously absurd to a degree that is almost impossible for me to wrap my head around it. In spite of all this, I can't help but wonder - what in the name of peace and midnight basketball does one have to do to light the fire needed to drive a quadruple amputee into shooting someone to death and then dumping the body...
...without any help?
How?
What?
WHAT ??
It is no wonder that there is such a near Hollywood level trope of Detectives descending into alcoholism after too long on the job...
...well no fucking shit.
A quadruple amputee that plays the fuck out of cornhole, drives his own car, shoots people, and then has the fucking audacity to ask his passengers, "hey, help me get this dead guy out of my car" - sounds like a pretty good reason for me to look for answers in the bottom of a bottle full of Jack Daniels.
This HAS to be an Onion article - or something from the Babylon Bee - or proof that there is a rip in the fabric of space and time.
...I've said it before - THIS IS ONE HELL OF A CRAZY TIMEINE WE ARE LIVING IN !!!
The Quartermaster
Verified Military
That "CIB" is what I first locked on to as lol, wut.
That CIB is rad as fuck though. Lol
Blizzard
Member
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2012
- Messages
- 4,439
If you're gonna do this, at least push the ribbon all the way on to the rack.
His MFOM rates above his Silver Star, Bronze Star, and his Purple Hearts.
Folks, I too have the MFOM. So I'm going to need you to start showing me a little more respect around here.
Folks, I too have the MFOM. So I'm going to need you to start showing me a little more respect around here.
Box
Verified SOF
- Joined
- Mar 19, 2018
- Messages
- 2,674
So let me break this down into a few smaller pieces to make it easier to swallow...
This cat is a Master Sergeant with a single Good Conduct Medal.
No Knots.
None.
...so even if he made MSG as fast as the Army allows, he is missing a few knots.
...but we all know that isn't the case
...because he has a Kuwait Liberation Medal
So, a relatively long period of service and he only earned one good conduct medal.
The irony that he telegraphed his "poser status" by wearing a medal validating his turdliness should not be lost on those who love the funny little details.
Next up:
2 Distinguished Service Cross Medals
1 Silver Star
2 Bronze Stars, for service, because there is no V/C/R present
2 JSCOMs
1 JSAM
16 Purple Hearts
...so he has an inordinately lopsided award of Purple Hearts to Valor awards
...which might suggest that he just keeps walking into bad situations without actually doing a bunch of heroic shit
This cat is a Master Sergeant with a single Good Conduct Medal.
No Knots.
None.
...so even if he made MSG as fast as the Army allows, he is missing a few knots.
...but we all know that isn't the case
...because he has a Kuwait Liberation Medal
So, a relatively long period of service and he only earned one good conduct medal.
The irony that he telegraphed his "poser status" by wearing a medal validating his turdliness should not be lost on those who love the funny little details.
Next up:
2 Distinguished Service Cross Medals
1 Silver Star
2 Bronze Stars, for service, because there is no V/C/R present
2 JSCOMs
1 JSAM
16 Purple Hearts
...so he has an inordinately lopsided award of Purple Hearts to Valor awards
...which might suggest that he just keeps walking into bad situations without actually doing a bunch of heroic shit
