Barrackroom Antics


Verified Military
Sep 7, 2006
I enlisted when I was a 17 year old ignorant little asshole.
I was lucky to meet a guy who had been in the service previously, we got along well and he taught me his tricks for surviving Military life.

We conducted our Corps/MOS training very close to his home so he would arrainge for a covert pick up during periods when we had downtime, hiding in massage parlors and bars until it was time to start work again.

During one field exercise when we were quartered in huts, we were next to a hut full of North Islanders, us southern boys weren't too keen on this mob so my mate and I hatched a devious plan to ferment revolt among their hut.
Like all brilliant plans it follow K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple Stupid.

We took a small cardboard box and my mate took a big greasy shit in it!
Then with him on guard I sneaked into their hut and put the box in a far corner of the hut under a bed.
We then spent the next week listening to the rising tension about who stunk so bad in their hut, accusations and counter accusations ensued, people almost come to blows on several occasions.
It wasn't until our last day there that we had a big clean up before our departing inspection, when they finally found the box of doom!
My mate and I had to run and hide as we couldn't control ourselves we were laughing too much, people were screaming at each other, all hell was breaking loose with dire threats being made toward the unknown perpetrators of this heinous act!

To this day the identity of the phantom shitters remains unknown! }:-)
If they new who it was they would've killed us I'm sure! lol

That was in Tekapo, was stationed at Burnham at the time though.