I learn something everyday

[Gunz]

You think that is the way to go until they come home after they hit the fleet and go:

'DAD CHECK THIS OUT - OIL CHECK' then they try to jam a finger up someone's ass, and calmly say "You're a quart low"

Or even more juvenile - they knife hand straight up or down someone's ass crack, and when that person turns around, bewildered and violent, your sons will hold out their hand flat and say:

"Credit Card Approved, Can I have your signature here please?"

Then you'll wish they stuck to innocent things like Crop Dusting. Marines are gay.

Marines are demented.
L/Cpls are especially demented.

When I was a squadleader at 2/6 I had a PFC running through the squadbay screaming with his trousers on fire. He'd been sitting at a table with a couple of my L/Cpls who squirted his utility pants with lighter fluid underneath the table and lit him up...watched him run off in panic laughing their asses off. Of course the fluid burned itself out and the kid wasn't hurt, but those big ass L/Cpls were out raking pine needles for a week.

 

[JohnBender]

Marines are demented.
L/Cpls are especially demented.

When I was a squadleader at 2/6 I had a PFC running through the squadbay screaming with his trousers on fire. He'd been sitting at a table with a couple of my L/Cpls who squirted his utility pants with lighter fluid underneath the table and lit him up...watched him run off in panic laughing their asses off. Of course the fluid burned itself out and the kid wasn't hurt, but those big ass L/Cpls were out raking pine needles for a week.

I am actually laughing out loud at the image of it.

I bet between grumblings of "fuck [Rank] Ocoka One" they had no regrets about their decision.

I also appreciate that punishments like mopping rain, raking pine needs, sweeping rocks, and so on are time honored traditions that have yet to go out of style. Well, you know what they say about the Marine Corps: 241 years of tradition unhindered by progress.

Though I did not see it personally, my favorite one from my time in 1/6 was apparently when a PFC got duct-taped between two mattresses and thrown off the third deck. He faired much better than the drunk LCpl who tried to dive into a kiddie pool from the same location, shattering both femurs instantly. These happened with reliable witnesses...about 200 of them.

A third hand story that I cannot verify but is too demented to be made up was from my buddy who was stationed out in Oki - Said he got a fresh wave of intel or admin or whatever shitty job he did boots, and the next day a monsoon hit. Said they tied a few tarps together, duct taped some poor bastard to a lawn chair, attached the tarps and then carried him outside. To paraphrase what he said - They thought the kid would get scared, the wind would pick him up and drop him on his ass a few feet away. What ended up happening was the wind caught the tarps, and launched this poor fuck across the quad and smashed him directly into the DUTY NCO hut. The kid was mostly unharmed, but I guess some of their leadership was not too happy about trying to give E-2's their jumpwings.