Intel-Type Terms (humor)


Intel Enabler
Verified SOF
Sep 9, 2006
I didn't create this list, but I think it's funny (if a bit vulgar) and makes it easier to understand some key doctrinal terms.

Any others you can think of along the same model?

Intel Terms Fart Model.jpg
If you want to fart, but your intel officer tells you it's a really, really bad idea to fart, and you do it anyway, and things go spectacularly wrong for you, but you can point the finger at intel anyway... INTEL FAILURE.
If you call Intel and want some information but Intel won't give it to you even though you're cleared...INTEL ARSEHOLES.
When you're talking to an Intel analyst and they start giving you information you have no need, want or desire to know...INTEL CONUNDRUM.
Hm, neither "INTEL ARSEHOLES" or "INTEL CONUNDRUM" are even close to being doctrinally correct... even if they're true.

Plus you didn't stick with the analogy convention.
Chick you met at bar (one night stand) = One Time Source
Chick you met at bar turns into a regular (friends with benefits) = Continous Contact
Chick you bring back home to mom = Vetted Source
Lesbian = Counter-intelligence Agent
Bi-sexual - Double Agent
Wife = Recruited
Divorce = Termination (sometimes with prejudice)
Your FWB = source Is available for recontact
Hooker = source's motivation is Love of Money
Pregame ritual = CONOPS briefing
Explaining to your wife what you did last night = INTSUM
Facebook photos of what you did last night = GRINTSUM