In otherworldly news:
Alien.gov mystery grows after White House says 'Stay tuned'
In before they clarify on April 1st that the sites are focused on terrestrial illegal aliens inside the border!
Lets be honest about this...
Is there a single person on this board that wants to live in any other timeline across the entire multiverse besides the one we are living in RIGHT FUCKING NOW ?
Let's just set aside that silly thing called physics and pretend that intergalactic space travel really is a thing.
It doesn't matter that the closer we get to light speed the more fuel we need to accelerate which makes the ship heavier which means we need exponentially more fuel to push the ship closer to light speed which means exponentially MORE fuel to accelerate the added weight of the added fuel needed to accelerate the added weight of their additional fuel that we need to move the added fuel...
...then lets pretend that regardless of what that funny guy with the fucked up haircut from the History Channel says about space travel, the Fermi Paradox really is a thing
Then lets pretend that there is the slightest teeniest most remotest possibility that the government talking about Unexplained Aerial Phenomenon and extraterrestrial space aliens is just another way of saying:
..."the pilots that leaked this information have no idea how advanced our technology really is, so we're just saying it's UAPs to misdirect attention
...besides, UAPs are crazy right?
...and they totally ain't ours
...aliens exist I just haven't seen them and they aren't at Area 51
...Iran isn't a threat
...I did NOT have sex with that woman
...Fool me once, shame on, we wont get fooled again
...I've been to 57 states and only have 7 more to visit
...I keep hot sauce in my pocketbook
...my ego is YUGE, probably YUGEST ever
...Epstein didn't kill himself
Are ALL just a fucking ingeniously planned set of distractions unleashed to keep us guessing so that we aren't thinking about how hard we are getting FUCKED by the very small percentage of rich and powerful cocksuckers that rape and pillage our livelihood right under our noses?
Now - I'm not saying that UAPs and UFO's and Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and Extraterrestrial Space Aliens with Light Sabers and telekinetic powers are real...
...only that they might NOT be real
...or maybe they are
...who can tell
One thing is for sure: the very BESTEST and the most craziest, the most unbelievable, and the most entertaining shit that comes out of the government courtesy of "The Media" alllllllways seems to pop up at a time when we reaaalllllly do need a new story to distract us from the current ridiculous story that is starting to crumble.
Maybe, the timeline that we are living on is about the funniest god dammned place to be in the entire multiverse - because if you went to the movies and paid for a ticket to watch this story play on the big screen, the plot would fall the fuck apart before you finished your first box of Good and Plenty.
But here we are, standing in line week after week buying tickets to watch the same show over and over again.
There are no UFOs !!!
Epstein didn't kill himself !!!
Santa Clause is real !!!
The Easter Bunny does NOT lay colored eggs !!!
Iran is a threat to global stability and security !!!
The Earth is round !!!
The moon isn't hollow (or maybe it is, the jury is still out on this one).
...and I'm just happy to be here.
