Stop meeting chicks at Scruffy Murphy's!
Psh bruh scruffy Murphy’s is fucking poverty... you have to be stuck in Columbus as one of those low functioning nerds, barely passed the standard types who were not the caliber of Ranger to have the honor of destroying both Afghanistan and downtown Savannah with First Imperial Ranger Battalion.
We have a level of crazy, weird women that puts Anger Battalion to shame. Do they have to take chicks out of the Tap in their Little Rascal scooters and then figure out how to get that whale into the <3> barracks? Yes. That’s kinda savage. Do they wake up next to a “chick” with an Adam’s apple bigger than theirs? No that’s Fat Batts cross to bear.
What we have is a city with one of the most well known, expensive “art” schools (aka fake college) in SCAD... lots of “expressive” types with daddy issues and money. Couple that with the open container laws and the tourist trap that is this place and you can find yourself in some pretty dire but legendary situations.
Think “Ia Drang” but with Bachelorette parties. Or Thermopylae with thots instead of Persians. Or D-Day but instead of MG42s it’s hot married MILFS trying to ruin your security clearance and get you chaptered, or
worse- send you the 82nd.
I could go on but I think I can sum this up by saying NEVER ASSUME I AM THIRD BATT. YOU PUT SOME RESPECK ON MY NAME BRUH.
(FYI I had a late night involving a parachute jump, an airfield, a 240 and CS gas. I’m only alive by the grace of Monster Energy. For legal purposes this over done, overlong past is a joke. I apologize on behalf of 1/75, the Regiment, USASOC, and the Army. William Darby cries tears of shame for me).