Warning: Wall of Text incoming. I sat down and thought a lot about this before I typed it out. Sorry if it's a bit much, I had some diarrhea of the brain/keyboard.
The first time I heard about MARSOC was from my friend Diego, a fellow Sergeant. After he brought it up, I kept researching and digging. Back then, it was about the thrill of being a “HSLD Door Kicker,” the “coolness,” if you will, of being a (Critical Skills) Operator. Now, I’d done PT on a regular basis, enough to keep myself around 155#. I’d run a MCMAP course, in August in Arizona, and thought I was in good shape. I did a few light-ruck hikes in Yuma, nothing too crazy, but I thought it would be plenty. I didn’t adhere to the “10 Week Plan” to the letter; I thought I was fine. I figured, “Hell, I’m from Arizona, I’ve been in a pool almost year round my whole life,” and I had just finished my 2nd Class swim qual. I waited until the following year, after I’d had a chance to finish Sgt’s Course. I left for A&S (this was prior to the implementation of ASPOC) in May of 2010, thinking I would do just fine.
Was I ever wrong.
Without going into too many details, I arrived and got started. After hearing the CO and SgtMaj speak about MARSOC and what it stood for, I decided “this is for me; this is what I was meant for.” That was my introduction to the people, the lifestyle, and the mindset of MARSOC. I knew that I hadn’t even scratched the surface, though, and was overwhelmed with the possibilities I thought were right ahead of me with this fine organization.
All of this was floating around in my head, right up until the time came to get in the pool. At the time, I was still thinking to myself that it would be a cakewalk. I love jumping off towers and boards into the pool, no big. Then came the 300m swim. Still thinking I was off to a great start, I jumped in and started my normal side stroke. Very quickly I became aware of just how out of shape I really was and the trouble I was in. I hit the bottom halfway through my 3rd lap, got warned, and I stopped. I finally realized I was so far out of my league, that these people swimming around me were willing and able to push themselves so much further, and I would fail them when it mattered. I’m not making excuses, I plain screwed up, and I was going to pay the price. So it was out of the pool with this candidate. I was told that I could try again at a later date, and checked out. Shortly thereafter I found myself on a plane home.
After I got back, I got orders across the street to a new squadron. I knew I wanted to go back and try again, at some point. But at the same time, I was comfortable in my new shop and decided to put my MARSOC quest on hold for a while. My first month at my new squadron, I was awarded the opportunity to travel to the Mountain Warfare Training Center (or MWTC) in Bridgeport, CA and role-play aggressors for the grunts. I had a blast there, and learned a lot from the short time I was amongst the ground-side. I also realized how screwed I would’ve been if I’d somehow made it past the swim portion of A&S. After a month of walking around at 10,000+ feet in real, no-shit mountains - even with a light pack - I knew that it was a serious thing, it wasn’t just “oh, a few miles in boots and a pack, no big deal.” Fortunately for me, my feet withstood the experience and I was at least glad for that. I think my time in Bridgeport was the most enjoyable I’ve had in the Corps thus far. It opened my eyes to a whole new world of “things Marines do.”
While at my new shop, I started to think about other career options if I decided to get out at the end of this enlistment. My wife had just started a new job and was making her way up the ranks, and we were happy in Yuma. I started looking at other jobs in the local area that I could try for, like the Sheriff’s Office, or Border Patrol, or something in a completely different field altogether. (I’m a bit of a tech-nut, I love building and benchmarking and pushing computers, and thought about opening my own shop). So my desire for MARSOC slowly got pushed further to the back of my mind, until it basically wasn’t a consideration anymore.
A few months later, I saw an article about this new “ASPOC” thing being implemented, and thought that it sounded absolutely brilliant. I remember talking with a couple of the cadre during my check-out procedure, about the attrition rates at my class and prior classes, and I was shocked. Shortly after that, I got word that I’d be deploying on the 11th MEU. After a false-start date of June and a few workups, we finally got underway in November of 2011. The first couple months out were pretty dull, and I had a lot of free time. After talking to a couple of guys in my shop who had been reading about MARSOC, I decided to do some researching. After a couple hours of reading, my desire to try for MARSOC again was stronger than ever. I decided to stop kidding myself that I could be happy just EAS’ing and getting a regular job, without having pushed myself to do A&S until I was selected or told I was no longer welcome to return. MARSOC was and is everything that I want/wanted to do, and now I had a far better reason than the “cool factor” that got me interested in the first place. Personally, I feel I’ve done a lot of growing up in the past 2 years, since my first attempt. I understand a lot more thoroughly what is required of the individuals that are a part of MARSOC, the kind of drive and determination that makes them elite. So my reasons have changed, from simply “that sounds like a fun job, flashbangs and HALOs and sniping, oh my” to knowing that this is going to take every last bit of effort on my part, and then some. I want to find out how far I can go, and push past that. I want to be a part of that group of people, the elites, that know how to push themselves. I want to earn that opportunity, that privilege, to work with these people, to be a part of that fraternity. I don’t want to just “settle” for something I know I can do without too much effort on my part. I’d be bored out of my mind, and I’d never stop kicking myself and wondering if I could have made it.
So, I’m quoting Etype here:
“What I'm saying is, it's 80% boring, 20% badassery- live your life for the 20%.” I want to live for that 20%.
That’s where I’m at now. I cut the junk out of my diet, and I’m not on my ass watching movies and playing Xbox with the rest of the shop anymore. I found out there’s a SEAL Fit instructor doing classes on board, so I’m jumping in there. I’m doing Spin classes on the off days. (Hell, I’ve even started learning Arabic. Thank you, Rosetta Stone.) I’m learning how to prepare myself like I didn’t do last time. I can’t do any hiking or swimming out here, but dammit, I can push myself as hard as I can to get ready so that when I get home, that “10 week plan” isn’t so daunting. I plan on being as prepared as I possibly can for the next ASPOC I can slot into. And I’m looking for like-minded people, especially those who have been where I’m at and made it. (Shout out to HolyBear, your story is an inspiration to me; yours and isfriday’s thread is what got me to this site, and I’ve been soaking up information like a sponge ever since.)
I’ll end this with another of Etype’s quotes:
“Nobody does, but that means someone has to stand up and TAKE those spots. Most guys know they don't deserve a spot, but damn well know there is one waiting for them- so they get out there and take it.”
Etype, I’d like to thank you for your proverbial “kick in the ass” here.
