OK, we're doing this....here's mine (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD):
Hound goes after Mountain, kills Mountain but is mortally wounded at the same time. Arya cries.
Gendry is killed by Danaerys because he has a claim to the throne and is a threat.
Tormund and Jon have been reading Sun Tzu and Tormund didn't really leave, it's a feint and he's bringing back a Wildling hoard to help take Kings Landing. He gives Brienne the boning she really wants.
Greyworm is killed during the battle for Kings Landing but not before taking out all the harpoon weapons. I guess it's a warriors death.
Euron is fried by Danaerys during a trap that was set with the help of Yara and her ships.
For his betrayal, Jaime is killed by Cersei, who really bears his child again. But Arya, wearing a Jaime mask, kills Cersei.
As Bronn is getting ready to kill Jaime (really Arya in a mask), he is off'd by Tyrion via his favorite weapon, the crossbow.
When it's clear, the fight for Kings Landing is over, Davos offs Varys for planning to poison Danaerys.
Danaerys is killed by Samwell in revenge for frying his dad and brother.
Jon, being a man of honor, has to uphold the law and behead Samwell.
Not being able to live with himself and still regretting that he didn't say goodbye to Ghost, Jon heads to North, never to be heard from again.
Littlefinger comes back claiming chaos is a ladder, much to Sansas horror, because they're still married and claims the Iron Thone...only use to that little fuckstain, Bran, final has a point as it's revealed he is really the Night King. He comes back from the future and his visit to Starbucks to ultimately take the throne....
Winter has Arrived! The End.