Anyway, it's fucking April. Time for all these tourist assholes to GTFO and go home...And let us resume the voodoo that we do...
Oh Florida.....
- Thread starter Chopstick
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Suspect uses vacuum to decapitate man in Kissimmee, police say
Vacuum cleaner decapitation is the name of my new band.
Vacuum cleaner decapitation is the name of my new band.
His Kirby can beat anything.
After a cup of coffee and a reread I realize now that he beat the dude with the vacuum, not that the vacuums suction power managed to pull the dudes head off. Still, does the vacuum work? I can see it as a major selling point in terms of durability.
Also you're fine on the band name the closest, as far as I could find, is Cattle Decapitation, a reformed vegetarian goregrind band.
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All hail return of the Florida Man!
Cops: Drunk Driver Wore Novelty Undies
APRIL 17--A Florida Man arrested early Thursday on a drunk driving charge was in his underwear behind the wheel, according to cops who noted that the suspect’s drawers were imprinted with the word “breathalyzer” and the phrase “blow here,” which was “near his genitals.”
Cops: Drunk Driver Wore Novelty Undies
APRIL 17--A Florida Man arrested early Thursday on a drunk driving charge was in his underwear behind the wheel, according to cops who noted that the suspect’s drawers were imprinted with the word “breathalyzer” and the phrase “blow here,” which was “near his genitals.”
D
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The title alone is worth an entry in this thread.
He pimped a minor at Santa's Enchanted Forest. He got slapped with federal prison
He pimped a minor at Santa's Enchanted Forest. He got slapped with federal prison
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I don't know man, cops are gonna cop, but at the funeral home?
Cops Try Unlocking Phone With Dead Man's Finger
Florida police have raised eyebrows by showing up at a funeral home and trying to use a dead man's finger to access his phone, the Tampa Bay Times reports. Victoria Armstrong was at Sylvan Abbey Funeral Home in Clearwater when two detectives showed up and held the hands of her fiance, Linus Phillip, to the fingerprint sensor on his phone. "I just felt so disrespected and violated," Armstrong says. The unlocking attempt failed, but police—who shot and killed Phillip in a gas-station clash last month, per WFLA—say the phone's data could have helped in probing the man's death and resolving a drug inquiry that includes Phillip. The move also triggered debate about using a corpse to unlock a phone.
Cops Try Unlocking Phone With Dead Man's Finger
Florida police have raised eyebrows by showing up at a funeral home and trying to use a dead man's finger to access his phone, the Tampa Bay Times reports. Victoria Armstrong was at Sylvan Abbey Funeral Home in Clearwater when two detectives showed up and held the hands of her fiance, Linus Phillip, to the fingerprint sensor on his phone. "I just felt so disrespected and violated," Armstrong says. The unlocking attempt failed, but police—who shot and killed Phillip in a gas-station clash last month, per WFLA—say the phone's data could have helped in probing the man's death and resolving a drug inquiry that includes Phillip. The move also triggered debate about using a corpse to unlock a phone.
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Now if those two officers had snuck in, absconded with the dead mans fingerprints, unlocked the phone AND used the data to solve a crime then I would feel comfortable elevating their status to “cop-erators”.
Instead they just seem like a couple of assholes that crashed a funeral
Instead they just seem like a couple of assholes that crashed a funeral
Promposal contains joke about blacks 'picking cotton.' People aren't laughing
Florida never disappoints.
Florida never disappoints.
J.
Verified Military
Police: Man kicked swans in the head at Orlando park
“Multiple people told officers they saw Rocco Joseph Mantella kicking swans "as hard as possible" as he appeared to practice karate.”
“Multiple people told officers they saw Rocco Joseph Mantella kicking swans "as hard as possible" as he appeared to practice karate.”
You steal my socks, I find a samurai sword. That's the Florida way.
Man angry over socks attacks 2 with sword in Hudson, deputies say
HUDSON, Fla. (WFLA) - A Hudson man is behind bars after deputies say he attacked two people with a sword because he was angry over socks.
Man angry over socks attacks 2 with sword in Hudson, deputies say
HUDSON, Fla. (WFLA) - A Hudson man is behind bars after deputies say he attacked two people with a sword because he was angry over socks.
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Florida Man back in business!
Man: I'll confess to 8 killings for better food
In a letter to Orange County Circuit Judge Keith White, Scott Edward Nelson says in exchange for better jail food, Nelson will agree to confess to eight murders and several armed bank robberies, for which he says he has not been caught.
In the five-page letter, Nelson wrote he has been in some of the worst prisons in America, but by far, the Orange County Jail has been the worst for him.
“I am starving to death,” Nelson wrote in his letter to the judge.
Nelson, 54, wrote that he will offer a full confession and cooperation if he can get a high-calorie diet, saying he has lost 40 pounds of body weight since Oct. 1 of last year while awaiting trial on charges that he killed Fulford.
Man: I'll confess to 8 killings for better food
In a letter to Orange County Circuit Judge Keith White, Scott Edward Nelson says in exchange for better jail food, Nelson will agree to confess to eight murders and several armed bank robberies, for which he says he has not been caught.
In the five-page letter, Nelson wrote he has been in some of the worst prisons in America, but by far, the Orange County Jail has been the worst for him.
“I am starving to death,” Nelson wrote in his letter to the judge.
Nelson, 54, wrote that he will offer a full confession and cooperation if he can get a high-calorie diet, saying he has lost 40 pounds of body weight since Oct. 1 of last year while awaiting trial on charges that he killed Fulford.
