Excuse my casual style of speech. Typically when seeking advice, I try to avoid specifics as I don't like the idea of "if you were me". To this end I typically will deliberately leave out specific details that could lead to specific advice, or requests for specific advice, from my speech/posts. Its just a personal quirk of mine, and I apologize if that mislead you.
I am currently taking classes for a field which I enjoy greatly, and would be a great career choice for me for a variety of reasons including likelihood for my success, good compensation, and personal enjoyment/fulfillment (IT security), which I already have some connections in. I have some experience in IT security already, however mostly through individual projects, either of my own or as part of a team.
So I would say that yes, it is more along the lines of "I have a great shot at an awesome career in a field I enjoy". The reason I am torn is more to do with the fact that all things related to security and warfare interest me, in both the physical and digital realms. I am utterly certain that what I want to do will involve at least some of the digital aspects of warfare and security (as these are the aspects I have some personal experience with, and can actually qualify my interest in pursuing a career in). As such, for a while (and still somewhat now), it really does come down to, at least in my mind, the myriad differences between the military and civilian worlds, as I can do digital/IT security in both. What else I can do on top of/beyond IT security is where some of those differences between the military and civilian worlds matter to me - what kinds of opportunities are available and how readily in each, for example.
Also, I am not offended about how much you read into my indecision (no way you could have known, as I didn't post details), but that was still quite a bit to try and pull out about my life. I will say this - yeah, the concept of throwing myself out into the world is in a way "scary", in that there are many, many unknowns. However I am totally fine with that, as I know I am smart and skilled enough to not just make a living, but make a career for myself in some field or another that I enjoy. It isn't that I am cocky or arrogant, I just am confident, due to successes on a variety of projects, that I have employable skills in things like IT security.
I hope this clears things up a bit about exactly what the source of my indecision is.
