US Naval Dolphin's Diary

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04-12-03 Gains on base. Sergeant Wolfinsky built us in the basin and said that we - shit. For to feel this, we repeated it twenty times. Surfacer’s sonar went out from function. During this Wolfinsky made us squeeze on the fins.
04-16-03 Cleaned pool with toothbrushes. I took a brush from Orcas from the marine police, but Wolfinsky selected it and gave to me piranha’s brush. Wolfinsky - crucial shameful.
04-20-03 Have march on 50 miles with full calculations. Grinstein sunk torpedo, so on the way back Wolfinsky order to us clicking during all the way "Cree, Cree, Captain Kidd." Fishfinders from ichthyologists and fishermen went out of function within a radius of 40 miles.
05-02-03 Brazza Dalli fought with Seals because they called him a Gulf Porpoise. Just a shame that is true. Seals beat Brazza Dalli. We beat Seals. Then swim Orcas from the marine police and beat everyone, including Wolfinsky. For this cost on to get in beak.
05-06-03 Have exam to rescue drowning with covert exit in R-point. Grinstein not appeared in the point, returned to base after lunch, but said that he fulfilled the task. On the evening television reported that Florida beaches are closed due to the attacks of crazy dolphin. Grinstein was sent for to clean aircraft carrier’s dock with a toothbrush.
05-10-03 Brazza Dalli brought a lot of kelp with the next exit and terrestrial it with napalm. We received promise to share the shoals. Captain Bottlenose sent Wolfinsky under arrest for loss napalm charges from his ammunition.
05-11-03 Smoked shoals from Brazza Dalli. Stick quite not.
05-12-03 Hunted on orange Ichthyosaurs in water area. Dislodged two anti-radars and break the fence. Captain Bottlenose built us in the pool and said that Ichthyosaurs extinct six million years ago. We’d must apologize to Brazza Dalli ...
05-13-03 Repaired the fence. Beakmuzzle found a few holes, in which even Grinstein will be held across. It seems Bottlenose is mistaken about ichthyosaurus…
06-17-03 Today 'll train with Seals. The task - to prevent them to penetrate the base of submarines like "Ohio". Ha, we've to meet these pinnipeds ...
06-18-03 Actually - not to meet. These bastards disguised as divers. But we didn't have instructions about divers. True, on the way back some sharks attacked them - because also thought that they are divers. Tonight Seals invite us on soup from shark fins.
07-20-03 Grinstein fulfilled cleaning the dock.
08-25-03 Swim to empty the sunken transport with mustard. All company sneezes, only Brazza Dalli satisfied – he said that grabs better than crack.
10-18-03 Red alert on a base - say something fell down in the Atlantic. Dismissals prohibited. All team went in unauthorized absence.
10-19-03 I and Brazza Dalli fought with MP patrol in "Pearl Harbor". Not terrible - the doctor said what beak will live just in time for the arrival on the scene.
10-22-03 USS "Tarawa" - to pollute iron box! To do nothing. Creaks "Cree, Cree, Captain Kidd" and "That Girl From The Great Barrier Reef."…
10-23-03 “Tarawa”’s captain complained to Bottlenose that the all crew rests with the hearing neurosis. We promise to no longer creak.
10-24-03 Bottlenose said that we will work with the Russians! All in shock. Grinstein remembered that his grandfather was born not far from Bobruysk. This is somewhere in Siberia or the Urals. Grinstein trained us two Russian phrases: "Yob tvoyu mat’", that means: "Hello, how are you?" and "Pizdets", that means "Thank you." Wolfinsky tells that he faced with Russians on the Far East. From his stories all becomes uncomfortable.
08-25-03 We are on the bottom! Depth - 400 m. We shall now begin to work.
08-26-03 Gains Russians. Grinstein went greet. Russian reaction was inadequate. However, spinal fin, beak and flukes will be normal after some days. Russian captain swim acquainted, and said that his name is Morzhov. Bottlenose asked again: "Who is? Morzhov?" and greet him: “Yob tvoyu mat’!”. Russians stopped their captain, at the same time explaining what means "Yob tvoju mat’". In general, Grinstein very easily trimmed.
08-27-03 Excitement five points. Russians says that it is garbage. Awkward to refuse, so we are also working on.
08-28-03 Excitement ten points. Bottlenose asked Russians - whether is it garbage. Morzhov responded that it is not garbage, it is full “thank you” and today we were not working.
08-29-03 Turns at underwater location. Filling sandbags and building perimeter. Russians digging trenches at the bottom. We set aluminum hangars. Russians digging holes in the bottom and cover their by pieces of coral. For our question why they do not compromise hangars, Morzhov proudly replied that the hangars - is for weaker, and they are from Northern Fleet. The truth sometimes they go to us warm.
09-10-03 Russians boil water in ballast tank of submarine with napalm. They say that it is a bath like “BAN’YA”. They argue that it can wash and try to invite all. Hiperudo Big Fin said that in his tribe in the Great Lakes is doing to get patronage of Manitou. He - our only volunteer.
09-11-03 Russians brought Hiperudo back to our camp and said that nothing, he is strong guy, just have to train. Hiperudo came to assume through 5 hours and said that Manitou - chicken.
10-14-03 Because of the mixing of warm and cold layers of water our laser transmitter went out of action. Radio does not work because of severe natural disturbances. We sit without regard. Beakmuzzle, our signaler, in the gloom.
10-16-03 Come ask for the assistance of Russians. Captain Morzhov tied Bottlenose's note to a rubber ball and released him. The ball up to swim away. After half an hour brick fell from top tied with a response. Morzhov gave us a few balls, and requested that does not emit bricks, they - naval assets. Since Beakmuzzle occurred hysterics.
11-05-03 Captains staged a competition between both companies. Russians swim very fast, but treated worse with the technique. The final number was hand-to-hand fight – our Wolfinsky v/s their Belov-Medvedev. Russian sergeant suggested starting with demonstration show. Wolfinsky not wasted served in Korea - he has a black belt in MCMAP kickflukesing. He showed some beautiful katas. He is really cool, although a bastard. In response, Belov- Medvedev asked to bring some bricks, which dropped from above. And shows TAMESHIVARI. He made a house of bricks and broke it his fin. Then made another house, more than first and broke it his fluke. The third house more than both firsts, he broke his nose. Wolfinsky found themselves defeated. We asked the Russian sergeant, not more than whether he had head. He leniently replied that the head is bone and can’t to sick. Only eat it after a while inconvenient.
12-18-03 Russians as a gesture of goodwill conveyed to us a unique device. The device is really cool; ours are worse, but very difficult in using. Magnetic tapes still very difficult to handle in it and LCD is very small. The device is to spend three days and broke down. Beakmuzzle telephoned Russians and said that he has malfunction. Russians replied that for malfunction of device is a hammer in a special nest. Beakmuzzle said that does not know what to do with it. Russians screamed that he didn’t f*ck their brains and told them sailed to good coaching. Beakmuzzle returned back from coaching with unhealthy shine in the eyes. Then strike hammer on the device. The device earned. Beakmuzzle cried.
02-23-04 Russians have a men's traditional holiday. Invite to celebrate. Reject inconvenient. The remark was until morning. We taught them creak "Captain Kidd" and "That Girls ...", and they us:" Varyag "and" Black Crow ". The last song is a pessimistic. Not confident that one day we will be its script.
02-24-04 Don’t work, because yesterday celebrated with the Russians.
02-25-04 Still don’t work, because the day before yesterday celebrated with the Russians.
02-26-04 Brazza Dalli finally came to assume and said that in comparison with vodka crack is bullshit. Scripts chorus "Black Crow"…
03-30-04 Grinstein found falling object finally. It is a strange and a bit like a very large bowl. Tomorrow will investigate. Morzhov said that the dish does not like him. He doesn’t know what exactly was unable to explain, but said that his fluke fillings it. We are all in a certain tension.
03-31-04 Not times to start to investigate. From the dish exited some beasties similar to surfacers, but with very large heads. Beakmuzzle said he not more plays in UFO fainted and fell. Bottlenose went to contact, but beasties sent to him some sticks and burned his fins. We hide behind sacks and Russians in the trenches.
04-02-04 Still sitting for bags. All this is a little frightening, almost like when we outfit with the seals sharks of Hollywood beaches. Russians very evil - they can’t warm their bath third day.
04-05-04 Wolfinsky and Belov-Medvedev talk about something. It’s not like to me.
04-06-04 Wolfinsky and Belov-Medvedev went where something. On the side of dish convey any remuneration.
04-07-04 Sergeants returned and told us to go in to tidy in plate, as well as pick up tadpoles. Belov-Medvedev looks very happy. Wolfinsky look at him with apprehension. Send up the plate and tadpoles. We received order to emerge. To give pity. Share souvenirs - Russian give us “tel’nyashkas”, and we give them red cells.
06-22-04 Something fell down in the Pacific Ocean. Bottlenose satisfied as Sperm Whale, reported to us on a secret that we GOING TO WORK WITH RUSSIANS AGAIN!!!