Not Work Safe WIDE LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AWP]

WHAT A GREAT DAY TO BE ALIVE UNLESS YOU’RE THAT SHITBIRD FROM MINNESOTA IN WHICH CASE HERE’S YOUR PIZZA CUTTER!!!!!!!!! NOT EVEN A MONDAY CAN REDEEM THAT GUY, BUT THE REST OF YOU?!?!?!?! TIME TO ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK (OR HOLDER OF COCKS) OUT!!!!!!!!! THE CASTLE BRAVO OF THE WEEK IS HERE AND YOUR ARGUMENT IS IN-FUCKING-VALID!!!!!!!!! NO ONE HIT THE POWERBALL BECAUSE IT ISN’T HELD ON A MONDAY AND EVEN IF YOU DID, HOW CAN YOU TOP A MONDAY?!?!?!?!? WHAT, HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS CAN BEAT THIS DAY??!!!!!!!??!?!? ARE YOU MAD?!?!?!?!?!

MAIL CALL!

Monday Guy,

I borrowed a saw from my neighbor but forgot about it. 6 months later I have the saw but haven’t returned it. Should I act like nothing happened and keep it or admit my mistake and return it?

The Troubled Tool Guy

BRUH!!!!! 6 MONTHS?!?!?!?! 6 MONTHS LATER AND YOU STILL HAVE THE SAW?!?!?!?! 1. IS YOUR NEIGHBOR DEAD OR SOME KIND OF PUSSY TO LET THAT SLIDE??!?!!? 2. YOU AREN’T BORROWING TOOLS IN THE FUTURE UNLESS YOUR NEIGHBOR IS DEAD OR A PUSSY, BUT YOU STILL NEED TO RETURN IT!!!!!!! GEEZ, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!? TAKING A MAN’S SAW AND KEEPING IT?!?!?!!? YOU MIGHT AS WELL FUCK HIS WIFE IN FRONT OF HIM, STEAL HIS DOG, AND DRINK ALL OF HIS BEER!!!!!! BETTER IDEA: ASK YOUR WIFE TO RETURN IT AND THEN KILL YOURSELF YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!! YOU AREN’T A MAN!!!!!!

MONDAY’S RAIN IN THE DESERT!!!!! MONDAY’S 10 SQUARE FEET OF BUBBLE WRAP!!!!!!!!! MONDAY’S A STEAK AND THE REST OF THE WEEK IS A BUNCH OF VEGETABLES!!!!!! 3, 2, 1, BOOM!!!!!!!…… WHERE’S YOUR ATOLL NOW?!?!?!?!!?

OOOOOOO YEAH!!!!!! SNAP INTO A MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!

 

[x SF med]

My MONDAY is COMPLETE, I can do anything today and for the rest of the weak weekdays...

 

[Gunz]

I love the smell of MONDAY in the morning. Smells like......MONDAY.

 

[Muppet]

This post gives me more wood than my senior year prom date.....

M.

 

[Diamondback 2/2]

Woke up in a fog, turn the shower on (to allow the water to warm up) while I brushed the fangs. Without checking the water I get in and immediately have an epileptic seizure, trying to get the hell out of the freezing god damn water. Fucked up and turned that stupid "one knob does all" to its hell froze the fuck over setting. So after slipping on the stupid tile in the bathroom (because some one didn't get the rug out of the dryer) and busting my ass, laid there for a moment to continue my frozen water induced epileptic shake session. Laying there, naked, cold, hurt and alone, I hear a voice calling out to me. Is that god? Is that my fairy fucking god mother? Nope! That's my oldest daughter who just woke up and is about to open the door to my bathroom to see if I'm okay because she heard a loud bang (oh shit). You never saw a dude move so fast to his feet and snap a towel around his waist.

Anyway after assuring the daughter daddy's okay, I fixed the shower setting back to the gates of hell, jumped in and turned myself into a freshly boiled lobster.

I come down stairs make breakfast for the kids, and I am sharply and in the affirmative reminded by my oldest that the "bright idea fairy" has hit our house once again and that daddy is on a healthy diet, with special portions all sorted out and shit.




YAY FUCKIN MONDAY!

 

[Totentanz]

You never saw a dude move so fast to his feet and snap a towel around his waste.

I'm just thoroughly amused that you refer to your manhood as a "waste"...

 

[Diamondback 2/2]

lol, yeah I meant waist. As in my waist not my junk...but it may as well be a waste, three kids born and a wife bitchin about her hip's all the time, and little Johnny ain't doing much these days.

 

[BuckysBadger24]

MONDAY MONDAY MONDAY!!!!!!! I THINK I'LL RIP MY SHIRT OFF AND SLOW WALK AROUND OUTSIDE LIKE A BOSS BECAUSE BUD GRANT JUST REMINDED 3/4ths OF THIS COUNTRY HOW PUSSIFIED WE ARE!!!! SHIRTLESS MONDAYS IN SINGLE DIGITS ARE HAPPY MONDAYS FOR HIM AND IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU TOO!!!

 

[racing_kitty]

 

[Raptor]

I'm just thoroughly amused that you refer to your manhood as a "waste"...

Sometimes, I wish there wasn't an edit button for anyone. Thanks for quoting it so that the rest of us could see it, though.

 

[AWP]

I JUST RETURNED FROM THE DOCTOR AND MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS 150/92!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S THE POWER OF A MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DocIllinois]

This is INDEED a great Monday; I will be holding my annual Minnesota Vikings Won't Attend the Superbowl party.

WE GOT A PIG IN THE GROUND AND BEER ON ICE!!!! What a wonderful day.

 

[Grunt]

This is the first sunny day we have had in weeks. It's not by accident that it's a MONDAY!!!!!

Shine bright like a diamond.....MONDAYS!!!!!!

 

[Red Flag 1]

I JUST RETURNED FROM THE DOCTOR AND MY BLOOD PRESSURE IS 150/92!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S THE POWER OF A MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just wondering. Did he say things like: Diuretics, Beta Blockers, Other blood pressuer meds? I'm hoping white coat hypertension was the cause; it is for me.

 

[Muppet]

These posts give me arterial-venos malformations and the cure is fucking more mondays!

M.

 

[Red Flag 1]

These posts give me arterial-venos malformations and the cure is fucking more mondays!

M.

Renal! All those tiny vessels, about the size of cob webs and moon beams just pay one hell of a price.

 

[DA SWO]

Got released from the hospital, Monday rocked the house!

 

[Red Flag 1]

Got released from the hospital, Monday rocked the house!

Not much fun on the inpatient side of things. I had a similar experience fairly recently. I hope you are on the mend and stay that way.

 

[x SF med]

Alas.....

It is no longer MONDAY.

Therefore,

to my dismay,

We bid adieu,

to this week's installment of Free goes manic,

while his caps lock gets stuck.

Wallow in that shit, bitches, until MONDAY rolls around again.

Thread closed.