I totally understand where you are coming from. Israel does a bunch of stuff to us that I don't like. But... it's the same stuff we do to pretty much everyone else in the world. I don't like it, but it's kind of an inherent part of the system.
With regard to the ultra-Orthodox: yep, that's a really interesting situation. I think I mentioned here on the site that one one of my early trips to Israel about 10 years ago we spoke with a radical ultra-Orthodox Israeli Jewish settler who lived in the West Bank, and later an uber-conservative radical Muslim who is from East Jerusalem. I was stunned by how much they had in common with each other: facial hair, what they ate, how they dressed, how they lived, their views on women, what should happen to the other side (complete eradication, or at least removal). There are major difference of course, but I was struck by the fact that they had far more in common with each other than they wanted to admit, and far more in common with each other than they do with people in the center, even the center on their own side. I thought I stumbled across some kind of brilliant International Relations insights until I researched it and found out it was called the Horseshoe Theory of Politics. There are places in Jerusalem that they tell us not to go... not because of Muslim violence but because of potential Jewish violence. The ultra-Orthodox are kind of their own thing.
I think the main difference is the difference in practice. As a nation, the way Israel practices Judaism, and its impact on our national interests, is far more in line with, and tolerable to, ours. It's not that way yet with the Palestinians, especially under Hamas.
With regard to the strong support of leftist policies... yes, as a group American Jews tend to be on the left. A sizeable portion are on the far left. more than one of my White Jewish grad school classmates told me they are not "White," they're Jewish, because they wanted to distance themselves from "Whiteness," and also you can't compete in the Woke Olympics if you're a White man. I didn't like that at all. But I think a lot of American Jews--even ones who aren't White--are realizing that a lot of people ostensibly on their side politically sure see them that way. And that makes it OK to go after them.
At the end of the day, I'm not pro-Israel. I've said it before. I'm pro-America. And right now, I think it's in our interests to be supportive of Israel, especially when the choice is between Israel and Hamas. If things change down the road and it's no longer in our interests to be so tight with Israel, I'll re-evaluate accordingly.