Over the last three weeks (two of which have been holiday vacation time) I was sick for several days with a shitty upper respiratory infection - headache, bodyache, bellyache - tired as fuck yet, couldn't sleep for shit - so I tried an old home remedy that has given me pretty unreliable results over the years...
...I got up super early, skipped breakfast but replaced it with a thermos full of black coffee - I went out into the morning air and sat in the deer stand for about 3 hours and dared it to turn into newmoanya. Afterwards, I drank a bunch of Sanpellegrino Sparkling Water and threw back some Double Oaked Woodford Reserve - it didn't work and I started coughing up up green shit.
I tried another home remedy since I wasn't about to spend my holidays at the doctor's office - I ate a fuckload of advil, some mucinex, and whatever other pills that my wife gave me (because I take whatever she tells me to take) - then I got up super early and drank some herb tea with honey and lemon. After I finished the herb tea with honey and lemon - I made another thermos full of black coffee - dressed warmer than I did the first time - and went back out and sat in the deer blind again. This time I fell asleep in the stand for about 30 minutes - then realized that my coffee smelled funny - drank that shit anyway - then went home and made biscuits and gravy - which also smelled funny - spent the next few days overeating while simultnateously drinking more Sanpellegrino Sparkling Water and Double Oaked Woodford Reserve Bourbon.
I felt like absolute shit for a few days and the bourbon didn't seem to help.
It wasn't newmoanya because I never got a chest x-ray
It wasn't COVID because I never got a test
It seems to have gone away - mystery diagnosis
...but it totally wasn't COVID-19