The 2018 Moderator Election Smack Talking Thread

[Marauder06]

Here's the problem, people like @Marauder06 are still actice duty. You've seen how soft the military has gotten. Especially at the USMA. They have gotten so soft, they won't even let cadets pillow fight anymore.

Google search Ranger Arrested and the front page of Google is filled with a Ranger being arrested for sex with minors. Google Marine Arrested and the front page is all about Marines being arrested for making the grass grow. Who do you want leading you? @DasBoot or a Marine Grunt who is willing to do anything and everyone? Marines are known to be banging their own Squad Leader even. Think Rangers are willing to go to that extreme?

And then you have the Canadians. Justin motherfucking Trudeau. Every knows winter will finally come in 2019. Is that who we really want as King of the North? Fuck no.

Nice try brother, but Fat Leonard called and he wants his jokes back.

Listen, I'm not buying anything the Navy is selling (see what I did there?). Look, if you want our site to crash and end up at the bottom of the ocean just like... well, just like all of the Navy's ships recently... then you vote for a Seaperson (or whatever they're calling themselves these days) or someone in their little stepsister service, the Marines.

I'm going to go ahead and save you the trouble of getting relieved of command by putting you out of your misery in this thread. But not to worry, I'm sure you've got something to keep you warm on those cold, lonely nights.

"Run, sodomy, and the lash" indeed. Don't quit your day job, bro:

Navy encourages sailor to dress as woman to "raise morale" on ship

 

[Gunz]

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

 

[Marauder06]

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
Don't get fooled again
No, no!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Nice one brother, but take a seat and buckle up because I'm going to fast forward about four decades into the here and now.
/////

Look, if you aim at the king, you better not miss.

Otherwise, you get treated like Eminem and get owned with a diss.

This is for all of my competitors:

ModDevil: (AKA “normal guy”)

If you're sick of them short tabs and them green hats, let's talk about it
If you're sick of them drag queens* and them marines** let's talk about it
What's up with that hair spray*** and that ballet,**** we can talk about it
Or you can get mad, I'll size up your body
And call a black Chinook around it

*obviously I'm talking about the Navy here
** yes, a little "m"
***what's up, Air Force?
****I don't think we have any Coasties here, but in case we do...

 

[Deleted member 2517]

Nice one brother, but take a seat and buckle up because I'm going to fast forward about four decades into the here and now.
/////

Look, if you aim at the king, you better not miss.

Otherwise, you get treated like Eminem and get owned with a diss.

This is for all of my competitors:

ModDevil:

If you're sick of them short tabs and them green hats, let's talk about it
If you're sick of them drag queens* and them marines** let's talk about it
What's up with that hair spray*** and that ballet,**** we can talk about it
Or you can get mad, I'll size up your body
And call a black Chinook around it

*obviously I'm talking about the Navy here
** yes, a little "m"
***what's up, Air Force?
****I don't think we have any Coasties here, but in case we do...

You really just quoted the dude who has been getting Boo’d off stage at HIS OWN SHOWS after that White trash Walmart “rap”- sir, you’re better than this... granted I think I work for a couple of your former students and judging by their taste in music I can say with full confidence you had a major impact on them... so at least you have that going for ya, which is nice.

 

[Gunz]

Who da Boss Playa...?

 

[Cookie_]

So @RackMaster is offering bacon, and @NavyBuyer is offering sluts.

Where's the candidate who will offer me some slutty bacon?

 

[Deleted member 2517]

Kinda how this is looking
View attachment 24173

Thank you for your support. You can have the DHS or Sec of Education or some other useless shit when I become Chairman Of the People’s Republic of SHADOWSPEAR.

 

[AWP]

Better, better....we're on the right track finally. Just stretching our necks and waking up before the real shit begins.

We've done the extend to the right bullshit, the warm up laps are over. Let's get it on.

(And if you've already brought your A game? Quit. You fucking suck.)

 

[Kaldak]

We don't has a wheelchair candidate yet, and we all know everyone looks better in a power chair. Trust me, it's a known fact. And, my power chair looks the best.

Or, if we discriminate, I'll vote for @NavyBuyer due to his sharing of slut pics the mods have previously deemed too risqué. Thanks for the PMs brother.

 

[Box]

I stand ready to unleash feigned social outrage at a moments notice but so far I have not seen a single post on here of one Moderator candidate assailing another in a way that calls for the application of selective outrage...
...the low-energy candidates need to step it up.



I will attempt to get things started by saying that I am both offended and outraged at the bikini picture - the objectification of bacon is not welcome at all.

 

[Devildoc]

So @RackMaster is offering bacon, and @NavyBuyer is offering sluts.

Where's the candidate who will offer me some slutty bacon? View attachment 24182

That's Gay AF. Let me help:

 

[Gunz]

Let's see. I have a green crayon and a black crayon and a red and a gray and a brown and a Burnt Sienna. Green is for @DasBoot ; Red is for @Marauder06 ; Brown is for @RackMaster; Burnt Sienna is for @Kraut783 ; Gray is for @x SF med ...

I'm going to blindfold myself, mix the crayons up, smoke some of this crack, and eat a crayon. After I eat the crayon I'll try to figure out what color it was even if I have to wait until after coffee tomorrow...and then vote for the corresponding candidate.

I think in the present company, it's the only sensible way to vote.

 

[Marauder06]

Let's see. I have a green crayon and a black crayon and a red and a gray and a brown and a Burnt Sienna. Green is for @DasBoot ; Red is for @Marauder06 ; Brown is for @RackMaster; Burnt Sienna is for @Kraut783 ; Gray is for @x SF med ...

I'm going to blindfold myself, mix the crayons up, smoke some of this crack, and eat a crayon. After I eat the crayon I'll try to figure out what color it was even if I have to wait until after coffee tomorrow...and then vote for the corresponding candidate.

I think in the present company, it's the only sensible way to vote.

No matter what you do, this shit all going to come out the same. Just like this election.

 

[x SF med]

I'm glad I held back on my original comment here... I am not sure if it's worth my effort to compose some biting prose to counter the poorly thought out and childish diatribe submitted by my opponents. All the comments look like the ERB for a Cub Scout...

I may deign to make further conversation here, should my not-so-worthy opponents give me worthy material to work with... rehashing outdated personal and branch insults is getting lamer by the minute - that includes you Mara, ma'am...

in other words.... step up your game and bring it, beyotches… Make it worth my time to respond, you cretinous herpes ridden window lickers.

 

[Deleted member 2517]

I'm glad I held back on my original comment here... I am not sure if it's worth my effort to compose some biting prose to counter the poorly thought out and childish diatribe submitted by my opponents. All the comments look like the ERB for a Cub Scout...

I may deign to make further conversation here, should my not-so-worthy opponents give me worthy material to work with... rehashing outdated personal and branch insults is getting lamer by the minute - that includes you Mara, ma'am...

in other words.... step up your game and bring it, beyotches… Make it worth my time to respond, you cretinous herpes ridden window lickers.

Sooooooo what you’re saying is you have nothing to bring to the table? And you’re going to compose a post of big words that screams “I have 15 degrees in Early 19th Century Lesbian Dance Theory” and then dip out like Nixon on Marine One? I generally like SF dudes, you’re like the fatter and better educated cousin of Regiment, but I expect more from someone with 18 18-series MOSs.... none of which prepared you to talk shit with the pros, as your prior post demonstrates.

 

[Poccington]

Fuck it, @DasBoot has my vote.

GANG GANG.

 

[policemedic]

Okay, fuckers.

Assuming the electronic wizard behind the curtain has done his coding correctly, I’ve officially tossed my hat into the ring. In other words, the battle has been won before it has been fought.

I’m the moderator you deserve, and the bastard you need. If you don’t like my rulings, you can apply for an appeal by supplying me with liberal amounts of Woodford Reserve bourbon. Or donuts. Or bacon. Preferably all three, don’t be cheap bitches.

My competition—and I use the word in the lightest sense—is unworthy and honestly, should just give up the ghost and back me for the position of Supreme Moderator. That would suit their core beta personalities.

I mean, honestly. There’s really no choice here.

#votepolicemedic #notrolls #respectmyauthoritah #teambarbrady

 

[Cookie_]

That's Gay AF. Let me help:

Bacon sluts is acceptable as well.

 

[Cookie_]

“I have 15 degrees in Early 19th Century Lesbian Dance Theory”

Well that's my new favorite phrase

 

[BloodStripe]

Nice try brother, but Fat Leonard called and he wants his jokes back.

I'm going to go ahead and save you the trouble of [/URL]

How else do you think I'd know to offer up some beautiful girls?