The 2018 Moderator Election Smack Talking Thread

[Grunt]

Ahhhhhhhh.....let the loooooovvvvvveeee floooooowwwwwww.........

 

[DA SWO]

Oh fuck I just played with myself....

FIFY

 

[policemedic]

Oh fuck I just played with myself....

FIFY

 

[policemedic]

Great minds think alike, @DA SWO

 

[policemedic]

Over 30 years ago, my major competition as moderator (whose name I cannot yet recall) did something very, very bad to me. I don't know when, where, or what exactly, but it was BAD. So bad, in fact, that I can no longer remain silent about it. Or something.

Not to worry though, when it becomes politically expedient for me (i.e. if I start slipping in the election polls), I will name him/her/them. And when I do, I expect the all-while, all-male Admins who make up the patriarchal judicial cabal that runs this site to immediately take me at my word and to delay the entire moderator election until I receive unspecified justice. At a minimum this will include complete ruination of my political opponents... (er I mean victimizer(s)) and the appointment of more mods with sexually-ambiguous nicknames. This will, of course, specifically (and exclusively) include me. Anyone who disagrees with this is some flavor of "-ist," afflicted with some variety of "-ism," and will also be "#HimToo'd."

You're welcome for my service, thank me for your support.

~mara

30 years ago, huh? Well, then I deduce the culprit.

 

[digrar]

Pretty sure the top 4 listed applicants on the voting list win it every year, it's like the Admin rig it. So who's getting put at the top of the ballot this year?

 

[AWP]

Better...still some crap but @DasBoot is clearly in the lead. @x SF med is just sad, a shell of his former self, and I don't even know who else is running. @NavyBuyer maybe? I don't know, he has a lot of posts here but their quality is on par with socialized medicine. Some cop? Blue lives may matter, but better posts also matter.

There are 80 year olds harder than this thread. Weak....

 

[Deleted member 2517]

Better...still some crap but @DasBoot is clearly in the lead. @x SF med is just sad, a shell of his former self, and I don't even know who else is running. @NavyBuyer maybe? I don't know, he has a lot of posts here but their quality is on par with socialized medicine. Some cop? Blue lives may mater, but better posts also matter.

There are 80 year olds harder than this thread. Weak....

AgaIn, there is NO COLLUSION between the DasBoot campaign and the Admins- NO COLLUSION! This is all a conspiracy cooked up by low energy @x SF med and crooked @policemedic. THE WORST POSTER IN SS HISTORY. @NavyBuyer had had URanium deals with Russia- WHY NO PRESS ON HIM? MSGA!

 

[Topkick]

@x SF med is just sad, a shell of his former self,

This often happens to career politicians and mods. We need term limits.

 

[Box]

Is anyone keeping score yet?

I don't really want to think for myself – I just want to see some good solid sound bytes and two or seven scandalous photos of candidates in compromising situations. Then once the media has worked everyone into a foamy outrage, I want to be told who to vote for based on what’s best for the children.

So far we have an incumbent moderator that came out swinging within the first ten posts of the thread when he stated...
"Anyone who disagrees with this is some flavor of '-ist," afflicted with some variety of '-ism'"
Good strong push out of the starting blocks but more importantly, he let slip that he may (or may not) have some dirt (real or synthetic) on one or more of his opponents.

Next up - we have a Canadian candidate that uses a screenshot of a cameo from the movie 'Dodge-Ball'...
...he used a screenshot of AMERICAN actor Chuck Norris instead of using a cameo of CANADIAN actor and Starship Captain, 'Denny Crane'
Some of you might think such a move compromises his loyalty to his Canadian heritage, but what I see is a guy that is NOT afraid to pander to the voters.
He posted a homemade meme with Chuck-Fucking-Norris and offered free bacon as part of his bribe strategy!

DasBoot came out strong - no platform, just a bunch of populist mumbo jumbo as he openly seeks to enrage his voter base simply to tend to his ego and enrich his lifestyle. The fact that he is so upfront about his desire to use Shadowspear as a vehicle for his personal enrichment shows that he has a lot of potential.
Biggest detractor at this juncture is a complete lack of bacon promises. No free bacon is almost a deal breaker for me at this stage in the campaign.

Then, of course, we have NavyBuyer…
Completely offensive – objectification and hyper-sexualization of women, stereotypical insulting religious references about 72 Virginians as well as gender-specific references to oral sex…
…not to mention a COMPLETE lack of diversity in his postings. Where is the bikini-clad coed that will appeal to the minority transgendered bisexual voting base?
The most socially outrageous candidate of the group. A total outrage – nicely done.

I am afraid to provide political commentary of policemedic – I fully expect anything negative to be met with an arrogant YouTube beatdown while he repeatedly yells “stop resisting” every time he whacks my skull with his nightstick. I am going to seriously consider joining the never-policemedic crowd simply because he is probably personally responsible for Colon Kleptermanias national anthem protests. I smell fascism in the air – but the smell of fascism is tainted by the sweet sweet smell of donuts and bacon

I’m looking for someone that will run as a composite between Bernie Sanders and Jimmy Hoffa with just a hint of G Gordon Liddy.
There is still a lot of work to be done before I can openly endorse anyone but the field is looking pretty good so far.

 

[Marauder06]

Enough with the small talk. Let’s do the vote.

 

[Blizzard]

^ A man of action. I like it.

 

[Marauder06]

^ A man of action. I like it.

That’s what AWP’s mom said.

 

[Blizzard]

I figured I'd serve up the softball. But if you missed it, you were out.

 

[Gunz]

You’re so old you don’t remember whether you entered the race or not...just like @x SF med.

That's just elder abuse. Listen, sonny, I was killing commies when you were doing stinky doo in your ditty dipes and your mommy was wiping your little poo-stained shit-shooter.

 

[Devildoc]

I am so disappointed, and to be honest, a little ticked. My 8 year-old daughter talks better smack then you people.

I am going to go put her American Girl dolls in compromising positions so I can get some entertainment this morning.....

 

[Deleted member 2517]

I am so disappointed, and to be honest, a little ticked. My 8 year-old daughter talks better smack then you people.

I am going to go put her American Girl dolls in compromising positions so I can get some entertainment this morning.....

Then throw your hat in there, playboi. What’s
really going on is my smack talk is on such another level that I make the rest of this thread look like shit. I’m like Lebron playing against kids in wheelchairs.

 

[Devildoc]

Then throw your hat in there, playboi. What’s
really going on is my smack talk is on such another level that I make the rest of this thread look like shit. I’m like Lebron playing against kids in wheelchairs.

You don't want me as moderator. Oh, you need me, but you don't want me. The thing is, is any level of leadership I bring would force you window-lickers and knuckle-dragging troglodytes to utter in polysyllabic tones in order to meet a bare minimum of participation. You guys can't get past measuring your pee-pees and hurling cute-yet-banal playground insults. To level the playing field I would have to nominate my 8 year-old daughter; but even then, she'd lap you people. Now, stop boring me. Besides, you have my vote.

 

[Blizzard]

Then throw your hat in there, playboi. What’s
really going on is my smack talk is on such another level that I make the rest of this thread look like shit. I’m like Lebron playing against kids in wheelchairs.

So, is that kind of like saying you're playing with yourself?

 

[Deleted member 2517]

You don't want me as moderator. Oh, you need me, but you don't want me. The thing is, is any level of leadership I bring would force you window-lickers and knuckle-dragging troglodytes to utter in polysyllabic tones in order to meet a bare minimum of participation. You guys can't get past measuring your pee-pees and hurling cute-yet-banal playground insults. To level the playing field I would have to nominate my 8 year-old daughter; but even then, she'd lap you people. Now, stop boring me. Besides, you have my vote.

Ok so you’re using a lot of big words, that I don’t understand, so I’m going to take them as an insult. See below for my response